Mean People stink (this is a long vent, sorry)

[C&G'sMama]

I hope you all don't mind me posting this here. But I'm finding having a forum to be very cathartic whether anyone reads it or not, it's nice to just get it out there.

I live in a great neighborhood in an urban area. A few years ago DP and I started a neighborhood association to address some crime in the area. Since then we have built a very strong neighborhood where everyone knows each other. While we still have involvement with crime prevention, we also have block parties, an annual haunted house, light decorting contest etc. Our neighborhood is mixed race, age, socio economic etc. We have a few other gay couples lots of straight couples, single parent families singles and couples without kids etc. So, it's not unusual for us to do things for each other. The other day our neighbor's dog got out. I drove them around the neighborhood looking and we found out she (the dog) had been picked up by animal services. They don't have a car and their ride fell through so I took them down to identify the dog and pick her up. Well, the woman behind the desk was a snot. It was obvious she was going to everything to keep "these people" from getting there dog. It's grandma her 30 something daughter and the 12 year old (who was so upset). Fortunately a supervisor came by and because of the address and where the dog was found she allowed that as proof of ownership. (They didn't have the paperwork or a picture).
I am white my neighbors are African American. We had to leave the dog because she had to be spayed (city ordinance if a dog is picked up). I went home and told dear partner. I wanted to be wrong about the woman behind the desk. Are people really that awful (I know they are, but I never want to believe it). Oh, and the street we live on has a reputation. It's a long street with over 200 homes and we've had our share of drug activity and shootings (that being said it's still a very safe neighborhood, it's part of city living and why we stay to make it better).

So DP took Grandma to Animal Services yesterday, same woman behind the desk. Grandma says "Oh no". DP said, "There WILL NO be a problem". (DP can stare anyone down) The woman made them wait just for the sake of making them wait. DP said I was absolutely right. It just ticks me off. I have experienced some prejudice because of our family, but it's never bothered me. This was just blatant and annoying.

The family has their dog back and the 12 year old was in tears when she came home from school yesterday.

It just saddens me that some people apply a double standard. I'm getting off my soap box now. Have a good day all.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Take it higher. Talk to whomever is in charge there and share your concerns. That is absolutely not the way anyone should be treated. As a witness to the racism, you can choose to make an attempt to have someone in authority recognize that at least some people call it, and refuse to condone it.

Thank you for being so good to your neighbors.

 

[Timon-n-Pumbaa Fan]

Yeah, I think that I would have to bump the complaint up the food chain. I am sorry that you found a bad apple. You would think that someone that works to help take care of God's creatures would realize that all humans are God's creatures too.

 

[Uncle Remus]

Yeah, I think that I would have to bump the complaint up the food chain. I am sorry that you found a bad apple. You would think that someone that works to help take care of God's creatures would realize that all humans are God's creatures too.

And OP, yes, you should speak up.

I have a great youtube that exemplifies how we should all speak up for folks who are targets of discrimination, the USs of the world, but I can't post the link.

Youtube: Harvey Milk Got Hope?

Oh wait, I got another link:

Your brother routinely makes anti-Semitic comments. Your neighbor uses the N-word in casual conversation. Your co-worker ribs you about your Italian surname, asking if you're in the mafia. Your classmate insults something by saying, "That's so gay."

And you stand there, in silence, thinking, "What can I say in response to that?" Or you laugh along, uncomfortably. Or, frustrated or angry, you walk away without saying anything, thinking later, "I should have said something."

The Southern Poverty Law Center gathered hundreds of stories of everyday bigotry like these from people across the United States. They told their stories through e-mail, personal interviews and at roundtable discussions in four cities: Baltimore, Md.; Columbia, S.C.; Phoenix, Ariz.; and Vancouver, Wash.

People spoke about encounters in stores and restaurants, on streets and in schools. They spoke about family, friends, classmates and co-workers. They told us what they did or didn't say — and what they wished they did or didn't say.

And no matter the location or relationship, the stories echo each other.

When a Native American man at one roundtable discussion spoke of feeling ostracized at work, a Jewish woman nodded in support. When an African American woman told of daily indignities of racism at school, a white man leaned forward and asked what he could do to help. When an elderly lesbian spoke of finally feeling brave enough to wear a rainbow pin in public, those around the table applauded her courage.

Speak Up! echoes that applause, encouraging everyone to take a stand against everyday bigotry.

Speak up!!!

And thank you for speaking up.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Thank you all for you guidance. Fortunately the other people there were fine. I will say something but I think I'm going to wait until after they take the dog back to get the stiches out. I just don't want this girl to try to pull anything until the case is done. I do have a number I can call. And based on other people's actions at the facility I don't think this woman is well liked. When DP went to get the dog with grandma the woman said "you don't have a collar" Grandma said the dog had one on. Well she didn't have it on anymore. So one of the dog handlers says to "the woman". "Give her one of ours." "There aren't any that will fit". "Yes they're are over there" "I didn't see them" So the guy got one and gave it to grandma.

Yeah, we need to say something. And don't worry, we will. I just have to decide if I call Monday or if I wait until the dog has had the stitches out. I don't know if we'll be the ones to take her when they go, we have offered. And I will be more than happy to go.

 

[Timon-n-Pumbaa Fan]

Call Monday! The fresher everyone's memories of the events are the better to get that bad apple tossed out of the bunch. The animal should not suffer because you spoke up. If all else fails, find a regular vet to take the stitches out. That removes everyone from the situation. If this individual has the personality that you are saying that she has displayed to her coworkers, they are probably praying for someone to say something to get this negative individual out of their space.

 

[Uncle Remus]

I know this may sound old fashioned, but I think I'd put all the facts in writing to maybe 2 supervisors of the employee.

 

[C&G'sMama]

I know this may sound old fashioned, but I think I'd put all the facts in writing to maybe 2 supervisors of the employee.

Not old fashioned, smart. What I'm going to do is call Grandma today and tell her my partner or I would really like to take her when the dog gets her stiches out.

And I want to tell her why. And if I take her and that woman's there I'll have another day to add to my list and I can ask who I need to contact.

 

[elliotps932]

Take it higher. Talk to whomever is in charge there and share your concerns. That is absolutely not the way anyone should be treated. As a witness to the racism, you can choose to make an attempt to have someone in authority recognize that at least some people call it, and refuse to condone it.

Thank you for being so good to your neighbors.

agreed.

 

[NikkiPants]

AAAAHH!! That grinds my gears!
People need to stop that!

 

[Uncle Remus]

I know this may sound old fashioned, but I think I'd put all the facts in writing to maybe 2 supervisors of the employee.

Not old fashioned, smart. What I'm going to do is call Grandma today and tell her my partner or I would really like to take her when the dog gets her stiches out.

And I want to tell her why. And if I take her and that woman's there I'll have another day to add to my list and I can ask who I need to contact.

Well, jump into the 21st century then, use that cell phone to video/record the exchange (and hopefully the employee will be rude, obnoxious again) at the shelter as just an added piece of documentation. If you don't get some favorable remedy from the 2 (yes 2, so that one supervisor can't dismiss your complaint without someone else knowing it), then maybe your local news station might have a slow night for news and want to send an investigative reporter out.

Oh and maybe you could youtube it too.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Well, jump into the 21st century then, use that cell phone to video/record the exchange (and hopefully the employee will be rude, obnoxious again) at the shelter as just an added piece of documentation. If you don't get some favorable remedy from the 2 (yes 2, so that one supervisor can't dismiss your complaint without someone else knowing it), then maybe your local news station might have a slow night for news and want to send an investigative reporter out.

Oh and maybe you could youtube it too.

Okay, I just made it to the 20th century a few years ago and am slowly limping into the 21st century. While I do have a cell phone, it does not have a camera. I'm also thinking of hand delivering the letters so they don't get intercepted. (We had too many battles with our school district to not think this way, mail just got "lost")

 

[Uncle Remus]

Okay, I just made it to the 20th century a few years ago and am slowly limping into the 21st century. While I do have a cell phone, it does not have a camera. I'm also thinking of hand delivering the letters so they don't get intercepted. (We had too many battles with our school district to not think this way, mail just got "lost")

Don't forget to keep us updated.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I don't mean to stir the pot at all, and maybe I missed something, but I didn't read anything in OP's post that showed that the woman was being racist. Rude, obnoxious and nasty yes, but what's the guarantee she wouldn't have been like that with anyone else? I know there are sometimes slight nuances that take place during a meeting/conversation, but I can't see what OP is going to point to that shows the woman as being racist. That's a mighty serious thing to accuse someone of. I agree that if the woman was rude and nasty, someone should let her supervisors know, but I"m not sure, from what OP wrote, that I would bring up racism, unless the woman was the one who used the phrase "those people". I thought that was just OP's assumption and not something the woman said verbally. Even then, I think it's a hard thing to prove. JMHO.

 

[DVCajun]

Well, jump into the 21st century then, use that cell phone to video/record the exchange (and hopefully the employee will be rude, obnoxious again) at the shelter as just an added piece of documentation. If you don't get some favorable remedy from the 2 (yes 2, so that one supervisor can't dismiss your complaint without someone else knowing it), then maybe your local news station might have a slow night for news and want to send an investigative reporter out.

Oh and maybe you could youtube it too.

I think you have to be careful about recording someone w/out their knowledge and consent. Not sure of the complete legalities .... perhaps it's not a big deal unless it's going to be used in court or something. But still... my caution button lit when I read that.

And, like the previous poster pointed out, do you have reason to believe she was specifically obnoxious to *you* as opposed to other people? Some people are just tools in general.

Not trying to discourage you from speaking up AT ALL, but that's something to be prepared to answer when you do.

Keep us posted!!

 

[Uncle Remus]

I think you have to be careful about recording someone w/out their knowledge and consent. Not sure of the complete legalities .... perhaps it's not a big deal unless it's going to be used in court or something. But still... my caution button lit when I read that.

And, like the previous poster pointed out, do you have reason to believe she was specifically obnoxious to *you* as opposed to other people? Some people are just tools in general.

Not trying to discourage you from speaking up AT ALL, but that's something to be prepared to answer when you do.

Keep us posted!!

Good points, especially in the preparation arena.




tools

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

In TX it is against the law to record a conversation between 2 people without the consent of at least one of the parties IN the conversation. But that could EASILY be one of those things that varies from state to state.

I know taping a conversation between 2 people without the consent of either is a violation of Federal Wiretapping laws, and you definitely do not want to go there.

I agree that the woman may be rude to everyone, so that might be the angle to take with your complaint.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Hi All
It's the OP here. Don't worry, I'm not recording anything (besides as I implied in an earlier post, I'm just barely in the 21st century (my cell phone has no camera)

As far as people's concerns that I'm going to go storming into the offices calling the woman a racist. It was just a feeling I had and I was just venting here.

I have started my letter and I am going to state what happened and that I don't know if it was racist, based on our address or if she is just like that with everyone. I will continue with, whatever the reason, it is not acceptable for someone who is the first point of contact .

I wasn't trying to cause a stir. I was just venting.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions.

 

[DVCajun]

Good points, especially in the preparation arena.




tools

teehee!

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

You make a good point. It could very well be she is miserable with mostly everyone, so sharing your concerns regarding that might be the most productive thing to do, eh?

Venting is a necessary thing to do!