mmcguire
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2005
- Messages
- 1,565
Last summer DH and I started planning a WDW trip for this Aug. My mom found out about it a couple months later and next thing we know, she and my dad are joining us (we don't mind). We decided to rent a house in Windsor Palms and put a deposit down in Jan. The house was bigger than we needed, but the cost for a smaller house wasn't much difference, plus this house has a huge pool vs. a "splash" pool.
In late Feb DD had a health scare (he's fine now), and it made us all aware that DM and DD aren't going to be here forever. Shortly after, we all agreed that my DB and his family should come to WDW with us so all the grandkids could share this special experiencce with grandma & grandpa, and the whole family could make some memories. (It also didn't hurt that the rental is big enough for everyone). As an aside, DB went to WDW when he was 16, but neither DSIL or my nephews (8 & 9) have been.
Now for the complexities: DB & family have had $$ trouble lately. They bought their first house brand-new two years ago, and his employer cut out overtime last year (DB used to work 60 hrs a week), which took a big bite out of his paycheck. They've had their house on the market since Nov because they're barely able to make their payments with DB's reduced pay.
When they said they'd go with us, we told them that since we were already renting the house, they didn't need to chip in. We also agreed that if they sold the house & things were looking up financially, they would pay for their tickets & HDD, but if not, we would. If they repaid us sometime, fine, and if not, that was fine too. Transportation is not an issue since we live in NC and drive. I was also very fortunate this year to get a nice bonus at work (did not tell DB this), so the money for their four MYW tickets & a HDD dinner isn't going to make us or break us.
DB and DSIL decided to keep the trip a secret and surpise the boys on the way down. DM and I added DB and DSIL to our Google spreadsheet where we had been doing all our planning. We sent them info, web addresses, gave them our planning DVD, and made a HDD reservation for the whole crew.
A couple of weeks later, DB calls to tell me they aren't going.
He goes on about how he has to maintain his pride, and can't accept this from us, blah blah blah. I didn't let on, but at this point I was angry 
because I could not believe he would take this opportunity away from his boys (and DSIL, who was dying to go) as a matter of pride. I was also disappointed for my mom & dad who were looking forward to seeing all their grandchildren together at WDW. DB and I had very earnest conversations prior to this, and nobody NEVER acted as if we were doing them a favor, or that they should feel beholden to us in any way.
After he gave his spiel, I told him straight up that when he and I went to WDW the first time, it was because our grandmother paid for our family to go. That was a gift from her, and we wanted to give the same gift to his family, no strings attached. He seemed to soften a little at that, but then said he was also thinking of changing jobs, and if he did, he might not be able to take that week off. So I said IF he changed jobs and IF he could take the week off, we would still love for them to go, and the offer still stood.
That's how we left it, and it really hasn't been discussed in the weeks since. My DM did the unthinkable and put a second HDD ressie on her credit card
for the smaller party size so that we could still go even if DB doesn't. I kept the original HDD ressie on my card, and we'll cancel one of them once we know for certain who is/isn't going. I know...I know...I hate the duplicate ressie too, but this is one case where we can't reserve for a larger party and show up with a smaller one -- they charge for the absentees.
So, all in all, this has put a damper on the whole trip. Those of us who are definitely going feel guilty (and also a little irritated at DB), and especially feel bad for the boys (even though they don't even know what they are missing).
I'll post updates as things develop....
In late Feb DD had a health scare (he's fine now), and it made us all aware that DM and DD aren't going to be here forever. Shortly after, we all agreed that my DB and his family should come to WDW with us so all the grandkids could share this special experiencce with grandma & grandpa, and the whole family could make some memories. (It also didn't hurt that the rental is big enough for everyone). As an aside, DB went to WDW when he was 16, but neither DSIL or my nephews (8 & 9) have been.
Now for the complexities: DB & family have had $$ trouble lately. They bought their first house brand-new two years ago, and his employer cut out overtime last year (DB used to work 60 hrs a week), which took a big bite out of his paycheck. They've had their house on the market since Nov because they're barely able to make their payments with DB's reduced pay.
When they said they'd go with us, we told them that since we were already renting the house, they didn't need to chip in. We also agreed that if they sold the house & things were looking up financially, they would pay for their tickets & HDD, but if not, we would. If they repaid us sometime, fine, and if not, that was fine too. Transportation is not an issue since we live in NC and drive. I was also very fortunate this year to get a nice bonus at work (did not tell DB this), so the money for their four MYW tickets & a HDD dinner isn't going to make us or break us.
DB and DSIL decided to keep the trip a secret and surpise the boys on the way down. DM and I added DB and DSIL to our Google spreadsheet where we had been doing all our planning. We sent them info, web addresses, gave them our planning DVD, and made a HDD reservation for the whole crew.
A couple of weeks later, DB calls to tell me they aren't going.
He goes on about how he has to maintain his pride, and can't accept this from us, blah blah blah. I didn't let on, but at this point I was angry because I could not believe he would take this opportunity away from his boys (and DSIL, who was dying to go) as a matter of pride. I was also disappointed for my mom & dad who were looking forward to seeing all their grandchildren together at WDW. DB and I had very earnest conversations prior to this, and nobody NEVER acted as if we were doing them a favor, or that they should feel beholden to us in any way. After he gave his spiel, I told him straight up that when he and I went to WDW the first time, it was because our grandmother paid for our family to go. That was a gift from her, and we wanted to give the same gift to his family, no strings attached. He seemed to soften a little at that, but then said he was also thinking of changing jobs, and if he did, he might not be able to take that week off. So I said IF he changed jobs and IF he could take the week off, we would still love for them to go, and the offer still stood.
That's how we left it, and it really hasn't been discussed in the weeks since. My DM did the unthinkable and put a second HDD ressie on her credit card
for the smaller party size so that we could still go even if DB doesn't. I kept the original HDD ressie on my card, and we'll cancel one of them once we know for certain who is/isn't going. I know...I know...I hate the duplicate ressie too, but this is one case where we can't reserve for a larger party and show up with a smaller one -- they charge for the absentees. So, all in all, this has put a damper on the whole trip. Those of us who are definitely going feel guilty (and also a little irritated at DB), and especially feel bad for the boys (even though they don't even know what they are missing).
I'll post updates as things develop....
