Matron of Honor Rant: "Bachelorette" Party transportation

[Fantasmic23]

My younger sister is getting married the first weekend in November. Her bridal shower is this Saturday afternoon and her bachelorette party is this Saturday night (Since her friends will be in town for the shower). There are only 2 of us in her wedding: The groom's younger sister (college student) and I. This is my first time being a matron of honor.

For the bachelorette party, my sister has decided that she wants to have dinner at one of her favorite restaurants and then to go to a comedy club. I made reservations for both a few weeks ago. My sister has said that after the comedy club, she might want to "hit a few more bars". Fine, whatever. I don't drink, so I'm more than happy to be the designated driver and chauffeur for the evening. And here is where the problem lies.

My sister does not want to be "carted around" (Her exact words) in my Nissan Quest. She said that it's a "Mom Car" (Yeah okay, it is). She just sent me an email suggesting that I look into a limo or "party bus" for the evening. Umm ... No. First of all, it's kind of last minute and secondly, the going rate around my neck of the woods seems to be $90 an hour for a limo.

As far as the bachelorette party goes, I'm chipping in with the other girls for dinner and I'm paying for everyone's admission into the comedy club, the first round of drinks (There's a 2 drink minimum at the club) and any appetizers they choose to order.

I just emailed my sister No, my Nissan Quest will have to suffice. It's clean (To be sure, I'm having it "detailed" Friday morning) and roomy (can seat about 7 comfortably). Including myself, there will only be 6 people that I have to "cart around" since one of the girls is pregnant and will be leaving right after dinner (She's driving herself).

Am I being unreasonable? She's my "baby sister" and I want her to have a good time, but I don't want to break the bank doing it. I don't know much about limo pricing, but $90.00 an hour seems ridiculous. I know there are certain "duties" and "obligations" that a matron-of-honor has, but I feel that I've done enough financially between chipping in for the shower, shower gifts, bachelorette party, my bridesmaid dress and shoes, future hair and make-up appointment, wedding gift, etc. etc.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

I think you have done enough. Who cares (besides the bride) what vehicle you'll be in.

I am older and I think all of these parties have gone way overboard. Things keep getting bigger and more expensive. Just call me an old fogie.

 

[tiggger1]

If your sister wants a limo tell her to either pay for one herself or split it between the other girls...but it will still cost each girl at least $100 in addition to everything else.
I have been to a ton of bachorette parties and I have had to pay my way for every one including the limo. MOH or not, your first problem is that you are paying the entrance to the clubs and their drinks and apps. I would make them pay themselfs and you can pay for your sister!

 

[castleview]

Is it even necessary to have a bachelorette party?

 

[JoiseyMom]

If your sister wants a limo tell her to either pay for one herself or split it between the other girls...but it will still cost each girl at least $100 in addition to everything else.
I have been to a ton of bachorette parties and I have had to pay my way for every one including the limo. MOH or not, your first problem is that you are paying the entrance to the clubs and their drinks and apps. I would make them pay themselfs and you can pay for your sister!

ITA!! Why the heck are you paying?? This should all be split among all those going! The only one not paying should be your sister. I think your sister is being a bit bridezillaish!

First, speak to the other girls and tell them that the entire cost of the evening will be split evenly. And ask if they are willing to go in for the cost of a limo. If they say yes...fine, if not, then tell your darling sister that cost is prohibitive, and unless she wants to foot the bill herself for the limo that its your car. Be nice about it, but firm!

And, good luck!

 

[Fantasmic23]

I think you have done enough. Who cares (besides the bride) what vehicle you'll be in.

I am older and I think all of these parties have gone way overboard. Things keep getting bigger and more expensive. Just call me an old fogie.

Well, meet another "old fogie". When I got married 16 years ago my "bachelorette" party (If you can call it that) consisted of a nice dinner ... And that's it.

 

[jrmasm]

My younger sister is getting married the first weekend in November. Her bridal shower is this Saturday afternoon and her bachelorette party is this Saturday night (Since her friends will be in town for the shower). There are only 2 of us in her wedding: The groom's younger sister (college student) and I. This is my first time being a matron of honor.

For the bachelorette party, my sister has decided that she wants to have dinner at one of her favorite restaurants and then to go to a comedy club. I made reservations for both a few weeks ago. My sister has said that after the comedy club, she might want to "hit a few more bars". Fine, whatever. I don't drink, so I'm more than happy to be the designated driver and chauffeur for the evening. And here is where the problem lies.

My sister does not want to be "carted around" (Her exact words) in my Nissan Quest. She said that it's a "Mom Car" (Yeah okay, it is). She just sent me an email suggesting that I look into a limo or "party bus" for the evening. Umm ... No. First of all, it's kind of last minute and secondly, the going rate around my neck of the woods seems to be $90 an hour for a limo.

As far as the bachelorette party goes, I'm chipping in with the other girls for dinner and I'm paying for everyone's admission into the comedy club, the first round of drinks (There's a 2 drink minimum at the club) and any appetizers they choose to order.

I just emailed my sister No, my Nissan Quest will have to suffice. It's clean (To be sure, I'm having it "detailed" Friday morning) and roomy (can seat about 7 comfortably). Including myself, there will only be 6 people that I have to "cart around" since one of the girls is pregnant and will be leaving right after dinner (She's driving herself).

Am I being unreasonable? She's my "baby sister" and I want her to have a good time, but I don't want to break the bank doing it. I don't know much about limo pricing, but $90.00 an hour seems ridiculous. I know there are certain "duties" and "obligations" that a matron-of-honor has, but I feel that I've done enough financially between chipping in for the shower, shower gifts, bachelorette party, my bridesmaid dress and shoes, future hair and make-up appointment, wedding gift, etc. etc.

No, you're not. She sounds ungrateful. There is no law that states you have to do any of this.

Tell your sister to quit whining and get in the van. And if she doesn't then someone else is going to get to ride shotgun.

 

[Fantasmic23]

Is it even necessary to have a bachelorette party?

My thoughts exactly.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Getting a limo or party bus is fairly common for the bachelorette party but of course, completely optional. The cost is also usually split among more women. I'd tell her if she's willing to pay for it, she can have it no problem.

 

[Fantasmic23]

ITA!! Why the heck are you paying?? This should all be split among all those going! The only one not paying should be your sister. I think your sister is being a bit bridezillaish!

First, speak to the other girls and tell them that the entire cost of the evening will be split evenly. And ask if they are willing to go in for the cost of a limo. If they say yes...fine, if not, then tell your darling sister that cost is prohibitive, and unless she wants to foot the bill herself for the limo that its your car. Be nice about it, but firm!

And, good luck!

Honestly, as I've never been in a wedding before (I'm not counting when I was a flower girl in my uncle's wedding in 1980!), I've had no clue as to what I'm supposed to pay for/chip in for. I wish I had visited this board a whole lot sooner.

Thanks so much! I'm going to send out a mass email to the girls now.

 

[castleview]

My thoughts exactly.

Yeah, most of my bridesmaids were far away and I just didn't think I could ask them to spend more time and money after they had just bought dresses, shoes and shower gifts.

 

[Fantasmic23]

Tell your sister to quit whining and get in the van. And if she doesn't then someone else is going to get to ride shotgun.

Thanks!!!

 

[Hannathy]

I think you have done enough. Who cares (besides the bride) what vehicle you'll be in.

I am older and I think all of these parties have gone way overboard. Things keep getting bigger and more expensive. Just call me an old fogie.

me to, I agree with you and the other old fogie who agreed but I must be the oldest old fogie because I didn't even have a bacherolette party and no one else of my friends did either.

You are being more than generous and they should be saying thank you instead of asking for more.

 

[horseshowmom]

There's only one of you being unreasonable - and it's NOT you!

I think you have done enough. Who cares (besides the bride) what vehicle you'll be in.

I am older and I think all of these parties have gone way overboard. Things keep getting bigger and more expensive. Just call me an old fogie.

Well, you can go ahead and fogie-fy me too!

 

[Breezy_Carol]

I must be the oldest old fogie because I didn't even have a bacherolette party

I am the first "old fogie." I didn't have a bachelorette party either. And my showers were surprises, at peoples homes. Of course, my 26th anniversary is next month.

DD was in her 2 cousins' weddings recently, 2002 and 2007. Luckily she didn't have to participate in the bachelorette parties because she was too young to go into bars. And DH and I paid her part of the shower as she was in school.

 

[mommasita]

ITA!! Why the heck are you paying?? This should all be split among all those going! The only one not paying should be your sister. I think your sister is being a bit bridezillaish!

First, speak to the other girls and tell them that the entire cost of the evening will be split evenly. And ask if they are willing to go in for the cost of a limo. If they say yes...fine, if not, then tell your darling sister that cost is prohibitive, and unless she wants to foot the bill herself for the limo that its your car. Be nice about it, but firm!

And, good luck!

I totally agree with this. This is how it is done here.

 

[dislaney]

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. Costs should at least be split.

 

[Magic Mom]

My younger sister is getting married the first weekend in November. Her bridal shower is this Saturday afternoon and her bachelorette party is this Saturday night (Since her friends will be in town for the shower). There are only 2 of us in her wedding: The groom's younger sister (college student) and I. This is my first time being a matron of honor.

For the bachelorette party, my sister has decided that she wants to have dinner at one of her favorite restaurants and then to go to a comedy club. I made reservations for both a few weeks ago. My sister has said that after the comedy club, she might want to "hit a few more bars". Fine, whatever. I don't drink, so I'm more than happy to be the designated driver and chauffeur for the evening. And here is where the problem lies.

My sister does not want to be "carted around" (Her exact words) in my Nissan Quest. She said that it's a "Mom Car" (Yeah okay, it is). She just sent me an email suggesting that I look into a limo or "party bus" for the evening. Umm ... No. First of all, it's kind of last minute and secondly, the going rate around my neck of the woods seems to be $90 an hour for a limo.

As far as the bachelorette party goes, I'm chipping in with the other girls for dinner and I'm paying for everyone's admission into the comedy club, the first round of drinks (There's a 2 drink minimum at the club) and any appetizers they choose to order.

I just emailed my sister No, my Nissan Quest will have to suffice. It's clean (To be sure, I'm having it "detailed" Friday morning) and roomy (can seat about 7 comfortably). Including myself, there will only be 6 people that I have to "cart around" since one of the girls is pregnant and will be leaving right after dinner (She's driving herself).

Am I being unreasonable? She's my "baby sister" and I want her to have a good time, but I don't want to break the bank doing it. I don't know much about limo pricing, but $90.00 an hour seems ridiculous. I know there are certain "duties" and "obligations" that a matron-of-honor has, but I feel that I've done enough financially between chipping in for the shower, shower gifts, bachelorette party, my bridesmaid dress and shoes, future hair and make-up appointment, wedding gift, etc. etc.

I think it was rude of your sister to "suggest" you get her a limo. Considering you are paying for so much already, if she wants a limo she can pay for it herself.

Since when did it become the norm for the bride to plan out her whole bachelorette party and then expect someone else to pay for those plans?

 

[rodeo65]

Not unreasonable at all! I guess, throw me in the fogey pile. I've been married 12 years and also did not have a bachelorette "party" per se. One of my three attendants was from out of town, so when she arrived the week of the wedding, the four of us went out for dinner. The three of them split the bill and my MOH drove us in her car.

When I was her MOH she did want a bachelorett party so I planned one which consisted of dinner and then drinks at the bar in the same restaurant - no running around. I drove her, everyone else made their own way there, and the group of us split the bill minus the bride of course. The only expenses I handled myself was a ball cap/veil thingy, a cake and a round of shots that I chose to buy for everyone.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I just emailed my sister No, my Nissan Quest will have to suffice. It's clean...

I bet it won't be after the party.