Marking a milestone I did not want to pass

[Tiggerish]

I was unexpectedly dx'ed with MS almost two years ago. Today, I went to the Secretary of State's office and traded my temporary handicapped sticker in for permanent handicapped plates for my car. Then I went back to my car and cried for half an hour. It just felt like I was giving in and giving up hope that my walking is ever going to get better. Acknowledging that I am "permanently" disabled is a milestone I did not want to have.

Thanks for letting me vent here. I know I will be over it by tomorrow but today was a sad day for me.

 

[pigget74]

 

[peemagg]

I understand totally! I was diagnosed about 1 year ago with RSD. I was able to walk and work before I had surgery in May 2008. Now I can barely walk to the end of the drive with my cane. I'm only 40 years old! I shouldn't be walking like someone much older. I too now have the permanent tag and not really liking it. I want to walk normally again and not get exhausted with walking over 20 feet.

 

[SueM in MN]

:hugs:

my DD got her first permanent handicapped parking tag when she got her first wheelchair at not quite 3. The woman in the Motor Vehicle office cried when she saw the age. She said she always felt bad for people under the age of 60 who were getting a permanent tag. I got back into my van and had a good cry.

 

[Piper]

I so understand.

My doctor told me that he finds that most people who really need accommodations fight kicking and screaming against them. Those who ask for them, usually do not really need them. (I'm sure there are exceptions to this.)

The funny thing is that after I finally give in to whatever the next step is I think "Why didn't I do that the first time he mentioned it? This makes things so much easier." Then I fight against the next accommodation for as long as I possibly can!

 

[ireland_nicole]

I'm so sorry, I felt the same way, and it's such a dark, lonely, seemingly hopeless moment. BUT, soon you're going to realize that this means you're using your energy to keep fighting, instead of wasting what energy you have on things you don't need to do. Recognizing the limitations your body has today does not mean that you're giving up, I promise.

 

[Tiggerish]

Thank you all. I am most grateful to know that others understood the feeling. Today is a new day and I go forward. By the way I have decided to think of them as accommodation plates even though the envelope they came in says"HANDICAPPED" in big, bright blue letters.

 

[Lachesis00]

((((hugs)))) I have had plates since a young child... 3 or 4. Well my mom had them for me. I decided long ago... I am HANDI-CAPABLE! not Handicapped. My oldest (who is 18) came up with that one when he was around 6 or 7. I can do most things, something may be different from how others do it... but... I will give it my best shot!



((((hugs)))))

 

[tiredsigh]

I have a chronic pain disease that involves painful ulcers in my bladder. When I was first diagnosed, I was often in a lot of pain. My dr got me a permanent tag. I was still in college. It was really emotional and the looks of other college students and staff made it worse. I have no visible markings of a disability that the common man thinks of. (I don't look like the sign )

I've been in remission for a couple of years so I let the tag go. I know when it flares up again, I'll have to get another one. Here, you have to show eligibility every two years for a permanent tag.

I know if I need another one......I'll be really depressed all over again. For now, I just tolerate the short flares and don't walk around much when I have one.

OP. I wish none of us had these issues.