Man Turns Tables on Telemarketer

[peg2001]

Our telemarketing calls came to a screeching halt once we joined Tennessee's Do Not Call list a few years ago. I was skeptical before I joined that it would do much good and ended up very surprised and pleased. I honestly can't remember the last time we got a telemarketing call.

Still get plenty of junk mail though. I like the idea of sending it all back to them but I'm lazy and just throw it away without opening it.

Peggy

 

[RUDisney]

We've eliminated all of our telemarketing calls through an initial letter to the direct marketing association, and then because of the state and national DNC lists.

I've even eliminated Jehovah's from coming to my door. The last time, about 7 years ago, that they came to the door, it was in the summer, so the front door was open. I was in the kitchen and had just dropped and broken something. When I got to the front door, still mad at breaking whatever it was, and I saw them, I yelled, "oh, for the f*****g love of G*d!" and I slammed the door on them. I didn't need their brand of God at that moment, I needed a broom and paper towel. I think they must have informed everyone about the whacky, unsaveable woman at my house and none have been back since.

 

[FOJMO]

One time, I told the telemarketer asking for my DH that he was DEAD and hung up!. I know that's drastic, but that was the first thing that popped into my head.

When my DH is home and he answers a telemarketer call, you should hear him! He goes on and on with them, acting like they're his long lost friend!

It's unbelievable. I just hang up!

 

[BarryHom]

Also check out: www.tommabe.com

 

[sgtdisney]

It always make me laugh when I think of what my Father in Law did to one telemarketer.. Someone had called a couple of times for my Mother in Law (his wife of course). It was one of those things where they wouldn't leave a message, etc. Finally, he got fed up and when they called again and asked for her he said she was dead. They appologized and offered their condolences. To this he replied, "Don't be sorry, I killed her." They hung up and I don't think that they ever called back.

 

[katerkat]

I love this guy!

I once got a call asking me about donating to something or other. I said I don't do donations to phone solicitators. She said: "How did you know I'm a solicitator?"

 

[DrCool]

Telemarketer: I can save you hundreds on your long distance. How much do you spend a month on your long distance bill?

Me: Nothing. I never make long distance calls.

Telemarketer: You mean you don't have any family or friends living in other states?

Me: My family is all dead. My mother died of cancer when I was 5 and my dad was killed by a drunk driver when I was 12. I grew up with my grandparents who died 5 years ago. I don't have any friends either. I have nobody in my life who cares about me.

Telemarketer: (akward silence and fidgeting for about 12 seconds) CLICK

 

[2luvbugs4disney]

Please allow me to share one of my favorite telemarkting calls with you.

Telemarketer: Hi, this is John with the Police Benovolent Society. We'd like to thank you for your donation last year......

Me: I didn't make a donation last year.

Telemarketer: Oh maybe it was the year before that then.......

Me: Nope, not then either.

Telemarketer: Oh.....well can we count on you to make a donation this year?

Me: If I didn't give you any money the last two years, what makes ya think I'd give ya anything this year.

I had to hang up then, cause my wife and I were laughing so hard.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

My favorite response to "can I please speak to the lady/man of the house?" is......

IF YOU ARE A TELEMARKETER I AM IN NO MOOD SO I SUGGEST YOU JUST FORGET ABOUT IT AND HANG UP NOW!

Sorry for the caps, but that is the tone I use and it's hasn't failed me yet!

 

[KrnB]

I truly feel bad for the poor schmuck that has a telemarketing job, but the companies that use telemarketing drive me crazy. Bravo to this guy!

Some friends of ours have a little fun with telemarketers by having conversations with them that either make no sense or are a little crazy/scary. It is so entertaining to listen to! I've thought about playing around like that when I get a call, but I alway start laughing before I can say anything, so I just hang up.

With my maiden name, I've always used the "can they actually pronounce it right" test too. The ones that actually got it right would always through me off, but it happened so infrequently that it wasn't a problem.

 

[BarryHom]

When I start to hear a sales pitch for whatever they're selling, I just set the phone down, stick it in my pocket, or hold it next to my computer or fan so they get all sorts of weird noises. A lot of times they will say "Hello?" over and over again. I think I'm going to get some revenge and start screwing around with the next telemarketer that calls me. I call it the Eliza Way...

TM: Can I speak to Mr. Him?

Me: Speaking

TM: Mr. Him, I am Joe from XYZ credit card company. Blah blah blah...can I get your address so I can send you a credit card?

Me: Why do you want my address?

TM: So I can send you a credit card.

Me: Why do you want to send me a credit card?

TM: Because you're approved to get one.

Me: Why am I approved for one?

TM: Because you passed our credit checks.

Me: Why did I pass your credit checks?

TM: Because...um...

Me: Why don't you know?

TM: Hey listen...

Me: Why should I listen?

TM: (swearing)

Me: Why do you use such language?

Click!

 

[anotherboardnposter]

I just say "Hold on a moment" and hang up the phone...

I think the best way comes from "Calvin And Hobbes"...

In one strip, Calvin picked up the phone, got someone he didn't want and said something to the effect of "Hello, I'm Calvin. I'm not in right now so please leave your message at the sound of the click."

And then he hung up the phone.

I think that's how it went...It's been a while since I whipped out my C&H books.

Sincerely,

John "anotherboardnposter" Kilduff

 

[Pin Wizard]

Many years ago there was one time when I had gotten one call too much. When the next one called, I just hung up on him...at least I didn't let him go through his whole thing and then hung up! He actually called me back and yelled at me! I hung up on him then, too.