Major Problem (kinda long)

[robinb]

My dh's current employer did. He is 43 years old and it was the first one who did (new employer). We even adopted our son and they didn't ask for his military record, but this employer did! He did have a disciplinary action on there that he had to explain, weird since he was 18 at the time, he was like I am so not like the cocky teenager I was back then! LOL!

Your DH's case makes my point that it didn't ruin his life forever.

 

[hereyago]

OP-this isn't meant as a jab at your or your DS, BUT: did he think is was going to be easy?


You can give him the advice of suck it up and cooperate because they will make his fellow troops take the punishment along with him.


As another poster wrote: the military will break them down to build them back to what the military needs for them to be.

Years ago, my boyfriend enlisted in the Navy. I admit that he needed discipline, but he would call me and his Mom crying. I told him to suck it up.


Side note: we haven't been together for years, but still send an email, he retires from the Navy next year.

 

[Hannathy]

While it may in fact may be found if searched for I wonder how many employers do the leg work looking for military record if the applicant leaves that part out (yes, lies on the application).

Employers are going to great lengths anymore! They are doing credit checks, background checks to the degree of actually talking to neighbors, they are not just calling the previous employer officially they are asking their employees if they know people working for that company and having them call and get information on the applicant. Maybe not for an entry level position but if the trend continues down the road if he applies for a job his employer will find out what is on his military record.

 

[Pluto 2]

if hes having a bad time now, what will happen if he goes to afganstain or iraq? boot camp was easy. i was in the marines went to boot camp in 88. boot camp was easy for me i was in terrific shape before i went in now im fat. you have to be in good shape before you go in, it will make it that much easier. when i got out and applied for my job i got now they wanted to see my dd214.

 

[ilovejack02]

Dated at least three different boys in younger days that went through boot camp. They all say the same thing how much they hated it and wanted to come home. Two have had successful military careers .

My ex husband did manage to get kicked out after boot camp, life went on and many years later owns an A/C business and is a productive member of society . A friend of mine's brother was also sent home at the ripe old age of 18, he also has done well in life , wonderful family and great job.

While it isn't an ideal situation, if he does end of getting kicked out life will go on. Encourage him to stay , hope and pray that he is mature enough to follow through with his commitment and how ever it is meant to work out it will.

 

[DebbieB]

My brother dropped out of high school at 16 or 17 and joined the army at 18. He was never one for disipline. He went to Texas for boot camp. Unfortunately, he was there over Christmas and was very homesick. He mentioned he was worried about a trip they were taking out to the desert and something about a gas chamber drill. When he came back to base from that trip, he called my mom and said he was coming home. They gave him a general discharge. I didn't find out exactly what happened, but my guess is he freaked out (which he did alot at home). Did it ruin his life? Not exactly but he just turned 44 and has been delivering pizza for the past 20 years. He separated from his wife 3 years ago and has been stuggling to keep his house. His gas is currently shutoff. So the question is what does you son plan to do with his life if he leaves the military?

 

[GeorgeG]

While failure in the miltary does not always mean failure in civilian life, the inability to adjust to certain disciplines can carry over into life in general. Gas chamber drills may sound more like unnecessary torture or punishment, it is actually very necessary training and takes place in a controlled environment. Everyone who has been in the military over the last 90 years has gone through it. While it's not a pleasant experience, it is essential to learning how to deal with the real thing. The same goes for the rest of the training.

I doubt any of us enjoyed potty training, but it certainly made life better for us once we were trained.

 

[rie'smom]

OP, he's playing on your emotions. Encourage him to stay. He's a man and if he does something stupid, he'll have to pay for it. I'd let him know that. Also, let him know that if he does leave that you will not be waiting to welcome him back into your home with open arms. Is this harsh, yes but do you want a son with failure to launch syndrome?

It's more about following through and finishing something he started. Giving up when something is hard can become a way of life.

 

[ctinct]

You have to remember that I am older than dirt. When I was in basic training the draft still existed. I had enlisted because I was just out of college and knew that one way or the other I would be called up. (Vietnam and all). It was hard, humiliating, tiring, dreadful, unhappy, demeaning, physically challenging to the point of insanity and just plain god awful. As much as I hated it, the thought of "quitting" never even crossed my mind.

If you think it is hard on parents now...just imagine what it was like then. Your son (or daughter) is going off to war. The difference between then and now is that there was no way out. If you didn't enlist you would be drafted. No real acceptable way to avoid it without giving up an awful lot.

Today, at 62 years old, I can look back at that time of my life and know that of all the challenges, and mountains that I have climbed in my life, that was the experience that has left me with the most "positive" mental and physical accomplishments that I have ever had. I have used that hardship over and over during my life and it has left me with things put in prospective. Life contained so much less drama because I knew real adversity, real hardship and real life and death. I wouldn't trade out that experience for anything. It has made me who I am today and given me the strength to know that if I set my mind to it...I can do anything I want too. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. In this case, this is absolute truth.

I'm printing this out-great post, especially the part I bolded.

 

[luvsJack]

I guess a person's opinion of this is all in how you think of the military. Most of the men in my family were in the military at one time or another and I fully support and admire anyone who makes that choice.

For one nephew it was the best thing that ever happened to him, for another the worst. Nephew that it was good for went from being a wild child to an officer in the army. He didn't have the home life that would have brought him to that without the military. The other nephew is miserable and hates it, he has gotten in trouble over and over again--AWOL, drugs, alcohol, etc. AND he is in his 3rd marriage at the age of 26 and has a child he hasn't seen in 3 years. If they threw him out, it would be the best thing for him.

The military is a job, just like any other. I think your son should follow through to a point and I think he needs to go through the right channels to get out if he feels that strongly. I do not think anyone should have to be miserable if they have found the military is not for them. Just as I am not going to stay in a job that makes me miserable.

OP, the decision is ultimately his. There are right ways and wrong ways to do whatever he decides. The only thing you can do is to advise him to do things the right way and to think long and hard about his decision. I don't know who he can talk to but if there is someone who can lay it out for him and make sure he understand all his options and all the consequences, then he can make an informed decision.


I am complete in agreement that a person should follow through with a commitment, but sometimes a person can find out that they made a mistake in making that commitment and need to get out.

 

[ols386]

Boot sucks. They are trying to break him and its obvious they haven't finished breaking him yet. Then they can build him back up. Tell him to tough it out - be strong. He'll regret it for the rest of his life if he doesn't.

I don't know that much about the military, but I have heard that they have to break you down first, in order to begin building you up again, the way they need you to be built up. If a soldier is sent into combat, and they were not broken down and built back up in military fashion, they may not survive. It's in their (the soldier) best interest to go through this process, difficult as it is.

 

[ols386]

While failure in the miltary does not always mean failure in civilian life, the inability to adjust to certain disciplines can carry over into life in general. Gas chamber drills may sound more like unnecessary torture or punishment, it is actually very necessary training and takes place in a controlled environment. Everyone who has been in the military over the last 90 years has gone through it. While it's not a pleasant experience, it is essential to learning how to deal with the real thing. The same goes for the rest of the training.

I doubt any of us enjoyed potty training, but it certainly made life better for us once we were trained.

What are gas chamber drills?

 

[ajk912]

What are gas chamber drills?

I just googled it because I was curious as well:

http://www.armystudyguide.com/conte...ining_prep_articles/to-the-gas-chambers.shtml

 

[indimom]

I asked DH what exactly the gas chamber drill entailed (I remember him talking about it all those years ago). He said they were taken into a bunker-type building. They had the gas masks in a pack at their waist. The canisters would be released in the building, the "gas" announced and they had to get the masks on and sealed. Then they had to remove them for a period of time (while still in the gas), then get them back on and sealed again. Then remove again. He said there was NO way to do this without breathing some of the gas. Similar products to what police use when trying to clear a building. Very hard on the eyes, nose, mouth and lungs.

 

[Mimi1965]

Wow-just what I want to put one of my loved ones through

 

[indimom]

It would be a wonderful world if we didn't need to have training like this or have war at all. But I'm very proud of my husband for serving his country, during a war, and being willing to go through a little discomfort to help ensure his safety during that time.
Seriously, if a little pain and discomfort is something you wouldn't wish on your family, don't have children or grandchildren, that hurts too (even with drugs to numb the pain).

 

[phorsenuf]

Wow-just what I want to put one of my loved ones through

What? The gas chamber drill? It's a necessary part of becoming a soldier. Would you rather your loved one not have the training and then be in a situation where he needed to get his gas mask on or possibly die.
If he wasn't taught to that under extreme pressures than he would end up panicking and not succeeding, endangering himself and possibly those around him.

It's a job. People learn all kinds of things for their jobs.

Firefighters run into burning building to save people. They learn that by running into burning buildings. It's no different.

Besides, it's not that bad. BTDT

 

[GeorgeG]

What are gas chamber drills?

You are taken into a building where tear gas is set off so you can see what it's like both with and without wearing your gas mask. The exposure is relatively brief (that's all it takes) and it teaches you how to properly use your mask and that it is a good thing to have and wear. Rookie firefighters go through a similar drill, but with wood and hay burning in a "smoke house" as part of training in the use of air packs. These drills allow you to learn in a controlled environment so you're prepared when the real need arises in an uncontrolled environment.

 

[Luvchefmic]

Wow-just what I want to put one of my loved ones through

But you're not the one putting your loved one through it, they do when they sign up. My DD and my SIL are both Majors USMC...OP your DS hasn't even been there a month. When my DD went to military college she was upset the 1st month or 2 also. Yes boot camp is different BUT your son is a man and needs to realize the value of a committment. Are the posters with military background or family biased perhaps, (myself included) probably could say the same about those not military minded. Will your DS make it...who knows but I sure hope he doesn't do anything foolish to get himself out or it will follow him for life. Contrary to what people think if he gets out and then lies about ever having been in it will be found out...maybe not if he applies at a local supermarket but if he ever wants a city, county, state, or federal job he can pretty much forget it if he lies about time served.

Best of luck to him

 

[L107ANGEL]

What? The gas chamber drill? It's a necessary part of becoming a soldier. Would you rather your loved one not have the training and then be in a situation where he needed to get his gas mask on or possibly die.
If he wasn't taught to that under extreme pressures than he would end up panicking and not succeeding, endangering himself and possibly those around him.

It's a job. People learn all kinds of things for their jobs.

Firefighters run into burning building to save people. They learn that by running into burning buildings. It's no different.

Besides, it's not that bad. BTDT

Well said 4s!!
I am not around enough to know who is pro this or that.
However, regardless of your stance on such things, we need to know that the military has given these heroes some idea on what to do in situations that are not ideal and some training on HOW to deal with them.
"Stranger Danger" anyone?