Lying to your children???

[disneymom3]

Okay, DH and I really want to plan a trip in May to go by ourselves to WDW. Problem is we have a 6 yo and almost 3 yo who are not going to like the idea of us going without them at all! So, anyone ever gone without the kids and not told them where you are going? any other ideas as to what to tell them or NOT?

the guilt, the guilt...(not for going, but for not telling the truth to them and yet....)

 

[disneyag]

I wouldn't lie to them, otherwise how would you explain Tshirts, souveniers, pictures, etc that you might bring home. I would, however, bribe them with the promise of lots of presents or surprises from Mickey!!!

 

[tjmw2727]

Dh and I have gone alone 2 or 3 times and I have gone with friends once, we told the girls every time. First time they were 4 and 6, I told them in such a way they didn't think twice about it. I could never lie to them and would never want to. The oldest quite frankly told me to ride RnRc and TOT and do all the boring stuff in Epcot so she dosen't have to!

I think parent time is very important to the family so they are used to dh and I spending a long weekend together once or twice a year. WDW was no different than Boston or Maine - they wern't there but they had Auntie and Nana to spoil them.

TJ

 

[disneymom3]

TJ--so what did you tell them? I need some tips here I don't want to lie to them and want to be able to talk about it etc. We go away and they stay with G'ma and G'pa quite regularly, so we have that part covered. I did think about just saying that we are going on a grown-up trip and are going to go on all of the rides they don't want to do. I just don't want to totally bum them out that we are going to one of their favorite places without them.

 

[tjmw2727]

Hi
Can't remember exactly but I am sure we just told them we were going away alone for a long weekend just like we would with any trip. Told them we were staying at CBR and auntie was coming to take care of them. We had them pick something they would like us to bring back and tried not to "plan" to much in front of them. We also had a family trip to look forward to about 4 months after so we could quickly change the subject to the family trip if need be.

I know my kids feed off me and if I felt guilty I think they would sense it and feel left out. I was very matter of fact as I truly believed we needed that trip together so I think that helped.

OTHH, I went on a girls weekend with some friends last May and one mom told her 7yo son she was going to Orlando. One night during a phone call she mentioned Disney and he had a fit, seems he didn't realize Disney was in Orlando! She never intended to lie, even by omission, it just never came up. I know she still regrets that he perceived it that way. She is taking him on a solo trip this April so I think that should smooth things over.

TJ

 

[threeboysmom]

My DH and I just took a trip in Sept. without our kids. Our 12 year old didn't care, but our 10 year old and 5 year old were upset about it. I told them we were going to be enjoying adult things such as long leisurely dinners & spending much time at the World Showcase taking in the movies & entertainment. When they heard it that way, they weren't that thrilled with joining us In all honesty, we only spent 1 day at MK, the majority of our time was spent at World Showcase - that was our plan - and it didn't appeal to our kids as at all. So do tell your kids you are going to Disney (or just say Florida), but talk about all the adult things you will be enjoying & they will be glad they're not going (hopefully)

 

[dahess]

I would feel sooooo bad if dh and I took a trip to WDW without the kids. I really don't think we could do it.

I hope you have fun!

 

[cati]

I am with you dehess! I could never leave my kids to go anywhere. My DH and I have been married 19 years and we have a 2 year old and a 9 year old. I love seeing their eyes light up when we go anywhere. I know I would feel terrible if something was to happen to one of them and I was not there. Guess I am just overprotective with mine.

 

[beattyfamily]

Tell them the truth. Period.

I personally would not leave my 3 and 6 year old to go to WDW. They'd be crushed.

When our children are grown, we will go to WDW without them.

If we want a time-alone trip it would NOT be WDW. It would be somewhere else that our children wouldn't care much about, and it would only be for a weekend. I couldn't handle leaving them for more than a long weekend.

But that's just the way we are.

To each his own.

 

[Clover9990]

Oh, give me a break. Let's not make this woman feel any more guilty than she might already be feeling- she is not only a MOTHER, but she is also a WIFE- she has every right to go to WDW with her husband and have an enjoyable getaway, without her children.

I, too, am the type of person to rarely leave my kids- my husband and I only "get away" for the evening (and not overnight) a few times a year, but I wish I didn't feel so guilty about going places without them. It's just as important to nuture your relationship with your spouse as it is to with your children, and if her and her husband's favorite place to vacation is WDW, why shouldn't they go?

I know none of you were "flaming" the OP, and likewise- I'm not flaming any of you- just giving some food for thought.

 

[allshookup]

Personally don't think anyone was trying to make OP feel guilty but simply offering their opinion. Which by the way, I must agree with. Your children are only children for such a short time, if you really want to spend some romantic time a lone (perfectly normal) why not a quiet bed and breakfast somewhere? I look forward to enjoying Disney showcase and adult restaurants...when the kids are grown. I know if I went to the most magical place on earth w/o the children, they would be crushed! I would spend the whole time thinking "gee they would've loved this". I know a poster on these boards was insulted that people could not understand her trip w/o the family. Sorry but I couldn't either and you know what....she ended up in tears by the end because she missed them so much and knew how much fun they would've had with her! I don't want to make anyone feel guilty...after all if it wouldn't bother you in the least to go w/o the children then you should go right ahead, however if the OP is already feeling guilty about lying.....how is the guilt going to be by the end of the trip???

 

[jenjenmouse]

We went to WDW w/o my then 14 yr old step-son and my dh couldn't get past the guilt of not having him there even though he had been with his mom on 2 previous trips and didn't want to go with us. Now that is weird to me.

But, to finally address the question w/o opinions of to go or not,
I'd tell them the truth and see how that turns out.

 

[disneymom3]

Don't worry about me Clover9990! I leave my children semi regularly and have no guilt about that! Nor will any of the posts make me feel guilty. And for that matter, my kids went to WDW THREE times in 2002, so no one needs to feel bad for them either. The only reason we are considering a trip w/o them to WDW in particular is that we have airline vouchers received from a cancelled flight that have to be used by early June and that is when my AP expeires too. We may just go to Vegas! But I think I will take the above poster's advice and just emphasize the grown up types of things we will do. I'll have to leave out EPCOT though as it's the 6 yo's favorite park.

As far as those concerned with my being in tears by the end of my trip, I am a full time at home mom and adore my children and spending time with them, but I also realize the need I have to get away somewhere without them. Why not go to a bed and breakfast? Well, you see, that is not my very favorite place to be and WDW is soooo. Besides, they would be with G'ma and G'pa who will spoil them to pieces and be thrilled to have them. And hey, they did a pretty grand job of raising DH so I figure they can handle my kids for 3 or 4 days

 

[threeboysmom]

Good for you, Julie. Go ahead and have fun & do not feel guilty for a minute. My kids actually had so much fun at Grandma's, they are dying for my DH and I to go away again! I didn't feel guilty at all - it actually was our best WDW trip ever! I am with my children 24 hours/day - I homeschool them and never get a break, so I looked at this trip as a WELL DESERVED vacation alone with my husband enjoying all the adult things we can never do when the kids are with us. Plus, my children as spoiled - they have been to WDW many many times. Now if they had never been, then I would have felt guilty

Enjoy!!

 

[allshookup]

I must apologize Disneymom! I didn't mean for one second that YOU would end up in tears...only that one poster did and I know I would if I were in her shoes.

I also didn't mean that you SHOULD go to a bed and breakfast only suggesting a place that is more condusive to adults...Vegas is another great idea!

I am also a full time mom so I can certainly understand needing a break! However, I assumed that you must be feeling somewhat guilty and that is why you were thinking of lying. I guess it was just to spare their feelings? Again I apologize.

Well to get back to your original question. I think you are doing the right thing by telling them the truth. They may be a little sad, but you know you are doing whats right for you (may not be right for others like myself) and it would be worse if they found out later that you lied to them.

Good luck no matter what you choose!

 

[zurgswife]

Dh and I have gone 3 times without the kids and only had the guilts during one trip...We were there Sept 11....other then that we have enjoyed our triips and have let them know each time where we were going....And explained that they would have a turn but this time was for mom and dad...

Yes it was different without them....but it was fun also to experience it without kids....we did think boy they would like this or that..but it did not ruin our trip....

 

[disneymom3]

allshookup: No offense taken at all It's not that I feel guilty for leaving them, it's that I don't want to totally bum them out that they aren't being included on this trip.

I appreciate everyone's responses. I was looking for feedback afterall! I think sometimes on the boards it's hard to know just how people are intending what they say as you can't read tone of voice or see facial expressions. (Gotta use those more I guess!)

Mythreeboys: I homeschool too(!) and while I love it and if I can help it, will be homeschooling until the kids leave for college, it does get exhausting, huh? I suppose we deserve a teacher vacation as much as a mom vacation! And what about all those inservice days. Never got the point of all of those before, but boy, I sure do now!