Lying kids

[Mom2Nick]

They are loyal brothers and covering for each other. The non guilty one is willing to take punishment for the guilty one. Let that be the consequences. Let the punishment stand and drop it.

No they're not They're both blaming each other. One brother is telling the truth and the other one is throwing the innocent guy under the bus and letting him take the blame for something he didn't do. That's not being loyal - that's being a regular old kid

 

[mamacatnv]

No they're not They're both blaming each other. One brother is telling the truth and the other one is throwing the innocent guy under the bus and letting him take the blame for something he didn't do. That's not being loyal - that's being a regular old kid

That would be my take on it

My brother and I would have defended each other against an outside source with no questions asked and to the death. Loyalty to each other when facing the wrath of Mom or Dad? not a chance, under the bus one would go

 

[SunshineOR]

No great advice, just willing to admit I've got some kids that tell whoppers and throw each other under the bus too. It's so frustrating! I have one who is a real softy and hates being grilled and punished, so she'll often admit to doing it just to get it over and done, and I'm pretty sure she hasn't done it. I have one who tells whoppers and then actually gets mad at me when I don't believe her, like I'm a terrible mom who doesn't love her just because I don't believe her lies.
Hopefully they'll turn out okay anyway. I do remember a little lying openly and by admission by myself and siblings and I think we turned out just fine. Parenting books usually say to try to avoid asking a lot of questions as the more they feel cornered, the more they'll lie. Just punish them for the crime and try to avoid giving them an opportunity to lie. It's easy to do when you know who did it, but not knowing who did it is a tough one.

 

[DVCLiz]

I am not so proud of this but here is what I did once to my DD7.

She was lying about something and I knew it. Little stinker would not admit it. So, I told her if she told me the truth she would not be punished.
So she came clean after a long time.
Then I punished her anyway! She said "But you said I would not be punished!" I said "I lied...now how do you like it?"

She has NEVER lied again! Go ahead and bash me, I don't claim to be parent of the year. Looking back I don't think I would do the same thing again, but in the heat of anger I did.

Erin, I think you are a genius. I wish mine were still young enough to try this with.

 

[mumom95]

"Did you spill the cookies all over the floor?"
"Yes. I made a mess. Look at all the ants".

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be insensitive, but that just made me laugh. I don't have a child with autism, but I have a friend that does and I can totally see her son, standing there, straight face and saying that.

 

[Rence]

It is rather unorthodox, but a friend of mine had a child who really started lying a lot when he was seven. She tried the usual methods of punishment but it just wasn't getting through so she tried something really different.

She picked her son up at day care one day and said that they were going to McDonald's for dinner, her son was all excited until they pulled into the driveway at home. He said that he thought they were going to McDonald's. Her response "I lied".

Next day she told him that they were having one of his favorites for dessert, of course it turned out that there was no dessert. Mom's response "I lied".

She did a couple "lies" a day and each time she was confronted she always immediately confessed that she lied. Well her son was getting more and more upset. She sat down and had a nice talk with her son about he didn't like it when she lied to him and that she felt the same way when he lied to her. That seemed to get the point across and he pretty much stopped lying after that.

 

[OzFan]

I'm sorry, but being a mom of 4 girls (19, 17 15, and 10) I tend to believe if they are talking...they are lying!

 

[KAMLEM]

There you go! The very next post.

And SharpMom - my point was not that every single kid in the world has lied before. The point was that it is normal for kids to lie. That does not make it right, but it doesn't mean your kid is going to be in jail by the time he is 16.

It could not have worked out more perfectly!

 

[LuvOrlando]

-

 

[mickeyboat]

I am having doubts about the "You don't like it when I lie, do you?" approach. That might work to stop kids from telling tall tales, but do you think it will really work when a child is confronted with knowledge that they did something wrong?

Kids lie when they are confronted to try to weasel out of getting in trouble for something. Do you think the desire to not make their parents feel upset because of the lie comes into play here? I mean in most cases the kids know the lie is wrong but choose to do it anyway because it is more important to keep out of trouble.

I don't think that approach will solve my kids' lying.

Does that make sense to anyone?

 

[Kathi OD]

I am having doubts about the "You don't like it when I lie, do you?" approach. That might work to stop kids from telling tall tales, but do you think it will really work when a child is confronted with knowledge that they did something wrong?

Kids lie when they are confronted to try to weasel out of getting in trouble for something. Do you think the desire to not make their parents feel upset because of the lie comes into play here? I mean in most cases the kids know the lie is wrong but choose to do it anyway because it is more important to keep out of trouble.

I don't think that approach will solve my kids' lying.

Does that make sense to anyone?

You'll never know unless you try it.

 

[AndyLL]

No they're not They're both blaming each other. One brother is telling the truth and the other one is throwing the innocent guy under the bus and letting him take the blame for something he didn't do. That's not being loyal - that's being a regular old kid

I don't know what you should do to get to the truth do but it sounds like right now you are punishing the innocent one for telling the truth.

 

[worm761]

I really want to know which one is lying! My DS lies sometimes but it is always about something stupid. Like today:
me: did you put on clean clothes this morning?
DS: yes!
me: then why are you still in your pajamas?
DS: (shocked) how did these get here?

DS has asperger's syndrome. He really isn't capable of lying very well. LOL