Lunch with coworkers

[Minnie824]

We were having a discussion at work the other day....wondering how others feel on the topic. Would it bother you if your spouse/SO had lunch with a coworker of the opposite gender? What about if it was a quick dinner after work? And is it/would it be different if the coworker was the same gender?

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Lunch? No. Dinner? That seems a bit odd unless there's some special circumstance.

 

[ShirikiUtundu]

Lunch not an issue at all for either gender.
Dinner most likely not an issue, but not gonna lie, I would like more information about it if were opposite gender.

 

[soccerdad72]

In my wife's profession (CPA / Auditor), she eats out for lunch and often dinner at least half of the weekdays, especially during busy season (Jan-Mar), so I wouldn't blink an eye.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Wouldn't blink an eye to either due to our jobs. I do it all of the time as does my husband.

 

[njmom47]

Dh works in a predominantly male workplace...of the few women that work there, most are in the office (dh is out "on the floor"), and he doesn't usually eat lunch. Dinner...eh, I'd be curious but ok with it.

 

[robinb]

Neither is a problem for me. My DH travels on business and eats lunch and dinner out 4-5 days per week. No way would I limit him on only eating with men.

 

[nugov2]

Nope it wouldn't bother me me for either. I trust my husband. I am of the mindset that if someone is going to/wants to cheat they will and dinner with a colleague isn't going to encourage it and barring your spouse from these dinners/lunches won't discourage it.

 

[Happy Snowman]

Depends on the circumstances but DH eats out frequently for lunch--does a lot of his employee reviews that way--nice to get away from the office and a nice treat for his staff. For dinner, as long as I know about it far enough in advance so I don't make dinner for him, not a problem. When I travel for work, I eat out with whomever else is along, but usually I travel alone anyway.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Neither is a problem for me. My DH travels on business and eats lunch and dinner out 4-5 days per week. No way would I limit him on only eating with men.

I think business travel is different than someone who could come home for dinner, but instead chooses to eat out with a coworker of the opposite sex. I wouldn't bat an eye at the former, but the latter would have me asking questions. Honestly, it'd seem out of the ordinary if same sex. I do occasionally go to movies with a coworker if it's something neither of our wives want to see, and we'll grab dinner together. But, the dinner is part of an activity. I can't remember ever JUST going to dinner with a friend or coworker "just because". With a group, sure. 1 other guy or gal? Nope. Now, I know women are different & do this kind of thing with their friends, but it would seem odd to me if DW went to dinner with some guy from work if they were both in town.

 

[melissakrichards]

Because of my job I frequently have lunch & even a few dinners with men. It doesn't bother my husband & I don't think it would bother me if he did....he works mainly with his family though.

 

[Andtototoo]

I used to have this male coworker whose wife forbade him from eating with any female coworker. Even if there were 20 female coworkers and him, he could not do it. She explained that a former boyfriend had cheated on her with a female coworker and she thought forbidding him from eating with the opposite sex would, somehow, prevent that from happening. A few of us thought it fell under the heading of "The lady dost protest too much."

Not gonna lie, that restriction caused him a lot of work-related problems and led to his downfall here. We do a lot of business over lunch and breaks and if you choose not to go to them f or whatever reason, you find yourself out of the loop. He ended up leaving here under a cloud and then found out that the whole time, she had been cheating on him. With another woman. So that whole business about forbidding him from spending work time with the opposite sex was a red herring, given that she cheated with someone of the same sex.

 

[JanaDee]

We were having a discussion at work the other day....wondering how others feel on the topic. Would it bother you if your spouse/SO had lunch with a coworker of the opposite gender? What about if it was a quick dinner after work? And is it/would it be different if the coworker was the same gender?

Yes, it would bother me if it was the opposite gender, only those 2, lunch or dinner. DH had 2 colleagues who carried on an affair for over a year and their cozy little lunches were how everyone knew something was going on.

Traveling is a different thing, as it can't be avoided in that situation.

 

[aaarcher86]

I can't say I'd be really happy about either situation with the opposite gender, just one on one. I'm not going to forbid it or anything.

A group? I don't really care. My husbands job doesn't have meetings like this though so I guess I might feel differently if that were the case.

 

[Kogo Shuko]

It wouldn't bother me at all.

I myself have many male friends, and enjoy going for lunch with male coworkers, and also hanging out with my male friends without my BF.

He has no issue. And I have no issue with his doing the same with women.

 

[mamacatnv]

Would not bother me at all. I do it all the time. I even occasionally meet a male co-worker for breakfast, we have worked together for 10 years and its our time to gossip!
I couldn't be married to someone who had an issue with the gender of my co-workers nor do I care who my DH has meals with

 

[OrangeBirdGirl]

This depends on the circumstance, at work and having lunch, no. If DH decides he doesn't want to come home and eat dinner with me because he rather go out to dinner with a female companion (just because he wants to socialize with her, not because it is work related) then I don't think it's right.

 

[kimblebee]

Wouldn't bother me at all. What does bother me is the assumption by many here that men and women can't just be friends, there must be more or the potential for more. BULL
My closest friend is a guy and we have never fooled around and the thought is totally gross. I know the thought is mutual LOL. My DH trusts me 100% with him, as his wife does with me.

 

[Luvchefmic]

Wouldn't bother me at all. What does bother me is the assumption by many here that men and women can't just be friends, there must be more or the potential for more. BULL
My closest friend is a guy and we have never fooled around and the thought is totally gross. I know the thought is mutual LOL. My DH trusts me 100% with him, as his wife does with me.

If you don't have trust you have nothing. I'll go one step further my husband is an over the road trucker, drives with another person, is the lead driver/instructor. Sometimes the student is a woman. One sleeps in the cab while the other drives or one sits in the passenger seat while the other drives. Very small and intimate quarters. Some wives/husbands could never handle that. TRUST as he does me when I am home and he is on the road.

 

[Allison]

Of course not.