Looking for advice for stubborn DM

[tinkertaylor05]

Hi everyone,

I am taking my family (dm 65 & dd 8) for our first wdw adventure, we are from the uk and have never taken more than a 3 hr flight!

Mum developed PMR (poly myalgia rhuematica) about 18 months ago, she responded well to steroid treatment initially but lately has been struggling. He blood pressure has reached scary levels and she is in a lot of pain with swollen legs etc we recently did a dcl cruise around the med and she had a wonderful but difficult time, even the widest softest shoes cut into her feet and I had to weight bear her when walking.

I really want to give her a vacation to remember with her granddaughter and keep trying to encourage her to consider using an ecv or wheelchair at wdw.. So far without success.

Can anyone signpost me to some information I could show her that may highlight just how much walking will be involved please? She has said some days she will just stay in the resort (ssr) and let dd and I visit the parks but I want us to be together as much as possible.

I was thinking of suggesting a compromise in that we don't hire anything for the whole duration of the trip and I would hire a wheelchair on some days by getting to the parks early? From experience do you think this would be a viable solution?

Thanks for any advice

 

[geek+nerd]

People walk on average anywhere between 6-12 miles a day at Disney. I highly recommend you rent an ECV or wheelchajr from off site and have it delivered to your resort. It will be much cheaper, you are guaranteed to have one, and she can use it at the resort as well.

For some people it is tough to admit that they need a mobility aid. Encourage her to think about it as another tool. If someone needs glasses to see they would never reject them as a sign of weakness. The mobility aid is just another tool.

You also might want to ask her to see it from your and your daughter's perspective. You want to create as many memories as you can with her and if she is miserable and in pain those memories will be tainted. It is amazing what a wonderful experience she will be able to have when she isn't focused on pain and discomfort.

Good luck!

 

[asta]

Please convince your mother to use a ECV or wheelchair. I am right now traveling back from three days at WDW and so wished I had rented something. I had a total knee replacement 7 months ago and thought I would be able to walk slowly on my own and take breaks. The problem is that there are many areas of the park with no place to sit. I found myself in extreme pain by the third night and just needed even a place to lean to relieve the pain so I could walk out of the park. A young CM told me I could not even lean in the space I found available, very sarcastically told me that she had artificial joints too (I highly doubted that) and told me that I should have gotten a wheelchair.

One recommendation that I saw here was to use a wheelchair as a walker. You would then have something to lean on while walking or a place to sit when you need a rest. An ECV would be better but this would be a minimum solution.

I think I understand where your om is coming from. My pride wouldn't let me rent and I felt like I could be better be a part of everything walking. Actually the pain can prevent you from wholly being part of anything.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

Please ask the following questions. Here are the suggested answers to go with them.

1. Are you disabled (even temporarily)? Yes.

2. Do the people you are traveling with, such as your family, know you are disabled? Yes.

3. Do you expect to meet anyone you know during this trip who may not know you are disabled. Probably No!

4. Do you expect to meet a bunch of people who you will probably never meet again in your life? Probably yes!

5. Is there any reason at all that you should care what these people think about you? Absolutely No!!

6. Will using a wheelchair or ECV make for a better vacation for you and your family? Absolutely YES!

 

[ToddyLu]

There are many small inclines around the parks which are subtle yet horrible when trying to push a WC. I would get the ECV delivered and use it. I would tell her it is a way for her to be completely independent on the trip. When convincing my MIL to get one for FIL...I told her that while I would carry him on my back around WDW to get him there an ECV would be the only way HE would fill independent. That and in a couple of hours anyone pushing him in a WC--and we would have all gladly done it--would have blisters on their hands and a backache.


Tell her you will rent it, leave it plugged-in in the room and if she uses great and if not--that is OK too. I bet on day two...she will. I would tell her "I need it simply for my piece of mind, so that we all have a terrific time". Can you be honest with her and tell her that there is no way you can help her walk around WDW. What if she and DD want to stroll off and get a snack--will she be able to do this comfortably? Refer her to this site and all the threads on this subject.

On the flight she will need to stand and move around a bit. Can she wear compression stockings to help with swelling. Sitting in one spot on the plane that long will increase the swelling. I would have a down day on arrival and plan to elevate her legs ABOVE the level of her heart for several hours if possible.

**Remind her: Walt Disney World is the size of Manhattan, New York. It is 47,000 acres. When taking a bus from a resort to a park it is usually a 10-20 minute ride...on a bus....without ever leaving property. I cannot begin to tell you the scope and size of the place as a first timer--it will be overwhelming. Not so much the actual park, but getting around the property. Even getting from a bus to a room can be a good five minute walk the resorts are so large. So even if you are staying off property and just eating at a resort, there is a lot of walking from parking to the restaurant.

 

[Gracie09]

Ask her to think of a spot about a mile away. Can she walk there? Then back? Three times. Then ask if she could get up the next morning and do it again?people often can't visualize how big Disney really is. Also take her to a local zoo or amusement park and see how long she lasts. If they have wheelchairs or ECv go back and do it another day and show her how much linger and easier it really is.

 

[tinkertaylor05]

Thank you all so much for your warm and helpful responses, I love my dm dearly she is my best friend and I really want to make this trip awesome.

We have until next May to work this thing out and who knows what changes there will be by then! I may try to encourage her to test an ecv out here at home, she is concerned about operating one safely, she feels bad that people would judge her, shes worried about causing inconvenience using the wdw buses and is very proud ..... That said you've all made great points as to why she should at least consider it.

Dm doesn't really do any coaster type of rides so there will be points she is hanging around waiting for us and I think it would be great for her to have some way of resting.

I am going to keep having the conversation .....

 

[bidnow5]

I think it's fair to say most of us that use wheel chairs or ECVs never wanted to its also true that most of us think we should have rented sooner.
The best thing I ever did for my family's vacation was rent an ECV I was holding everyone up with my having to sit down every 10 minutes plus they have a lot fewer benches now

 

[WheeledTraveler]

Has she talked to her doctor about dealing with the flight? The flight may only be twice as long as her previous longest, but it will likely be more than twice as uncomfortable.

I don't know where in the UK you are, but I've had good experiences with Shop Mobility schemes when traveling in the UK (I've mainly used it in Cambridge and a town outside of Manchester that I can't remember the name of). I was about 20, and looked healthy, when the majority of my Shop Mobility use happened and I wasn't hassled at all. The scooters I've used with Shop Mobility have been better than the ones you can rent in the park at WDW, but you'll be better off renting from an offsite company when in FL anyway. I know some of the climate around disability in the UK has gotten substantially worse, but in the US it's generally gotten better so if she gets comments in the UK, she's really unlikely to get them at WDW. Either way, I'd rather deal with the comments and be able to do things than to be stuck in a hotel or my house. The only reason I haven't used Shop Mobility more recently is because my more recent trips to the UK haven't been to places where there was Shop Mobility.

 

[Bete]

I'm on the side of renting an ECV. I would definitely practice back home. Here, we can rent rent scooters at a zoo and that's very good practice. I hate to say it but this could be her mode of transportation in the future; so, it would be good to learn now. My hubby uses one on a regular basis when we go to parks and such. He can enjoy and do a longer day because he uses an ECV. It has really made a big difference in his life to use one. You may have to help your mom with getting on and off the buses with the ECV. You can drive it on the bus and park it for her if she can't get the hang of it. Some ride queues might have too many tight turns and you may have to help again with the ECV. Hopefully, she will manage, but just be prepared to help her. She does need to pay attention to people who dart out in front of her. She may have to stop fast. You can protect her somewhat from darters by being in front of her and guiding her to a degree. She will need help in and out of her resort room each day, too. Don't forget to charge your battery for the scooter every day. Make sure she turns the scooter off when you watch shows, parades, street entertainment, and fireworks. You want to conserve battery power of the scooter. It's important before the trip to make sure you know your mom can drive a scooter. Most people do well, but there are a few that just can't do it. You can park your scooter for a while if your mom would like to walk some. This works best with ride queues; so, you can get back to the ECV when your done for the ride. Also, someone else could ride it for a while if she gets stiff and needs to walk some.

I pushed a wheelchair for about 5 trips with my mom who was much older and she couldn't handle an ECV; she never even learned to drive a car. It's a job to do this all day at Disney. She weighed 110 pounds American weight. We only did 8 hour days at the parks and we had a break most days back at the resort. I managed, but we did the parks smart like alternating rides with shows; so, I could have a rest. We did parades, fireworks and meals to have a rest, too. Also, we stayed away from afternoon hours when it's the busiest at the parks. We avoided back tracking, too.

We took advantage of early entry times and used fast pass as much as possible.

By the time you get back and forth with the buses and in and out of the park and go through the park ride lines there is 6 to 12 miles travelled depending on the length of your day.

 

[Debbie Jean]

Please convince your mother to use a ECV or wheelchair. I am right now traveling back from three days at WDW and so wished I had rented something. I had a total knee replacement 7 months ago and thought I would be able to walk slowly on my own and take breaks. The problem is that there are many areas of the park with no place to sit. I found myself in extreme pain by the third night and just needed even a place to lean to relieve the pain so I could walk out of the park. A young CM told me I could not even lean in the space I found available, very sarcastically told me that she had artificial joints too (I highly doubted that) and told me that I should have gotten a wheelchair.

One recommendation that I saw here was to use a wheelchair as a walker. You would then have something to lean on while walking or a place to sit when you need a rest. An ECV would be better but this would be a minimum solution.

I think I understand where your om is coming from. My pride wouldn't let me rent and I felt like I could be better be a part of everything walking. Actually the pain can prevent you from wholly being part of anything.

I had bi-lateral knee replacement last summer. I have continued and will continue to rent an off-site ECV. All the walking days on end in the parks and resorts is something I don't think I will ever be able to do again. Not a problem for me, though. My everyday quality of life has improved so much I really can do all the walking I need to and more. The only place I need the ECV is WDW and I can actually do lots more walking even there I feel very blessed

OP, I would definitely recommend renting from off-site. SSR is a wonderful, gorgeous but enormous resort and getting around if you have mobility issues can be a real challenge. In fact, I first began renting ECV's in the parks several years before surgery... until I stayed at SSR. That stay was what convinced me to start renting from an off-site company so I could have the ECV at the resort. Honestly I never looked back

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

Tell your Mom not to worry about what other people think. Explain to her that she is never going to see these people again so why worry about what they think.

If your Mom does not want a ECV I would rent one anyway. Because I can guarentee you after one day at Disney without a ECV she will be in pain and wish she had used the ECV. And she will thank you for getting it for her

 

[ttintagel]

I wonder if it would make a difference if, instead of discussing how the ECV would help her and make her more comfortable, you discussed how much better the vacation will be for your daughter if she doesn't have to slow down to keep pace with Grandma. Instead of going on rides with just you while Grandma rests her legs on a bench, she would be happier if Grandma could keep up and go on all the rides with her.