Long Trip with Teenager

[minnierealtor]

I just booked a trip to WDW from June 14-23 at SSR. My DH and I are super excited that we are able to stay for longer than our usual week but DD 15 is not as excited. She wants to bring a friend but I'm sure her friend's parents are not going to pay large amount to pay for park tickets etc and we can't afford to pay for them either. We are doing the drive and cook in the room trip this time. Up until now, DD has been ok with just the family but I don't want her to be unhappy the entire trip either. Any suggestions from other teen parents on how they handle this. Thanks!

 

[JoEllen]

Good luck. My teen DD quit wanting to go to WDW around the same age. At that age teens really don't want to be seen anywhere with their parents and are miserable without their friends.
She could bring a friend and accept that there would be a limit on the number of days in the parks due to ticket expense or you could leave her at home with family or friends. I didn't force my teen to go with me and we were both happier with the situation.

 

[dressthechild]

Maybe you could split the cost with her friend's parents?

 

[minnierealtor]

I just spoke with DH and he laughed about taking a friend. He said probably the cost wasn't the whole issue but the fact that his sanity is at risk with two teenage girls for more than 3 days and the car ride is 2 of those 3 days.

 

[Deb & Bill]

I just spoke with DH and he laughed about taking a friend. He said probably the cost wasn't the whole issue but the fact that his sanity is at risk with two teenage girls for more than 3 days and the car ride is 2 of those 3 days.

Ah, but the rest of the days, they just may be off by themselves leaving just the two of you. Earplugs might help though.

Our 15 yr old son hasn't minded going with his old mom and dad since forever. We've always just been a family who did most things together. He and his dad have a great time riding the thrill rides (I sit and wait for them).

But he is planning his HS grad trip where we've told him he could bring a group of kids along (we'll get a two bedroom for that trip) and have fun. Kids would have to pay for their own tickets and transportation (other than who we might fit in the car with us), but we'd cover the lodging and food at the villa and perhaps a dinner together in the parks. He's got a year to plan on who to bring so we can make the reservation 11 months out at OKW.

 

[wulfekamp]

I don't want to sound mean BUT I will NEVER take another person to Disney with us. We did it a few years ago and the little girl was nice but it really took away from our family vacation. We paid a lot of money to take this child. park tickets and meals and she didn't appitiate it. She had us hold her spending money for her and after the trip was over said she was 20 dollars short. She acted like we stole her money. The family bonding we do at disney couldn't happen with and outsider there. If my daughter said she didn't want to go she can stay with her grandparents for that week. Thats not going to happen. My daughter is more worried about us going without her when she moves away. She informed us points would make a great christmas gift. Could someone get a ladder so I can get down from this soap box now.

 

[minnierealtor]

We have had so many great family vacations with our DD and I find myself with hurt feelings that she doesn't want to spend time with us. Earlier this year we didn't think we would be able to go to WDW and could only do HH for spring break. She was very disapointed but understood that the economy is not great. We agreed she could take a friend to HH this spring (friend is now backing out) because the cost so much less than WDW. I think we may have to use some creative ways to entice her to go alone with us because I have alot of apprehension about taking a friend. I keep telling her that the Disney experiences are going to be less and less because she is going to be getting a job and soon college.

I appreciate all the replies.

 

[Tiggerfan40]

Our DD, now 18 is going alone with DH and I in April for a week to OKW. She has gone alone with us when she was younger, but as she got older we have always brought a friend or cousin. We had planned to bring along 4 or 5 friends and get 2 studios for their "HS graduation trip", however plans fell through as the kids and families could not afford it. I was worried that she is going to try to back out, however I purchased tickets to Cirque for us hoping that might keep her interested in going! So far, no complaints! I know she would have a much better time if a friend were coming along, but hopefully this will bring us all closer for possibly our last trip alone "as a family" to Disney. If she does go again it will probably be with a friend - alone during Spring Break from College.

 

[wdw1972]

Since when does a 15-year old call the shots??? If you & hubby decide you're taking a family vacation, then she goes along & acts decent unless you guys decide to leave her with a grandparent. Bringing a friend on an expensive vacation is NOT reasonable - not for the girl's parents who'd have to foot the bill for her to vacation without them, and certainly not for you guys. When your daughter is old enough to pay for her own vacations she can bring all the friends she wants...until then, you & hubby make the rules/decisions.

 

[BWV Dreamin]

Since when does a 15-year old call the shots??? If you & hubby decide you're taking a family vacation, then she goes along & acts decent unless you guys decide to leave her with a grandparent. Bringing a friend on an expensive vacation is NOT reasonable - not for the girl's parents who'd have to foot the bill for her to vacation without them, and certainly not for you guys. When your daughter is old enough to pay for her own vacations she can bring all the friends she wants...until then, you & hubby make the rules/decisions.

Ha! Crack me up! Well, WE make the rules, they go along with it. Now that said, maybe if you tried another resort, like BWV or BCV, where your DD would have access to the boardwalk, some nightly entertainment but still close to the resort? Movies on the beach at BCV? Lots of pool games at SAB? Not taking anything away from SSR, but for a teenager, it may be a little too quiet for them. My son met a bunch of girls from UK on our last trip at the BWV's.....hung out at the arcade with them....just enough of a little social time!

 

[Donna M]

We just got back with our HS senior and we brought his friend along for the second time. We go for the week but only go into Disney parks twice and they also went to Universal once. The rest of the time they hang out and find something to do. They tend to walk around a lot but say they're fine even though we give them lots of ideas. They rented bikes once and the speedboats on the previous trip.

You are in a difficult spot. Our 20 yo didn't come this time because she was working and not interested. A 15 year old can't stay home alone and if you don't have a place for her to stay she just has to join you and make the best of it. (Poor kid!) You are used to any 'attitude', it will just take place in WDW. She's at a difficult age. We got through it.

The other parents may be able to pay if they don't go into the parks every day and you aren't eating in a lot of restaurants.

 

[ldo]

see post below--double post

 

[ldo]

at that age, friends are really everything! If you are driving and cooking, it's really just the tickets cost that's extra. And, you could get the 10 day tickets and add WP&M and you are set. A 10 day is not that much more than a 4 day. When I was that age, I got to take a friend and we always had a great time (now we (DH and 3 kids) go with my parents----LOL).
With a friend, I would feel pretty comfortable letting a 15 yr old go to a WP or stay at DQ (I might drop them off and pick up, since you are at DTD vs. a park), or take the Disney bus by themselves to a park and check in with cell phone. It is a contained way to give them some freedom--she will be 16 soon and a little freedom and responsibility using WDW buses ("we will trust you to do this, if you do A, B, C and check in at __ time) can go a long way in the future back home in the coming years.
Thus, I would tell her exactly how much the ticket costs, $250, plus $100 for park food, etc. and that if her friend could pay that, then IMHO let her go--when that $$ is used up, they have to brown bag lunch into the park---I would have eaten dirt to take my friend. If the friend can't pay for tickets, then you made the offer (which is VERY generous to transport, lodge and feed a kid for 10+ days) and your DD will just have to understand that with the economy her friend's family decided that was not in their budget. Elaine

 

[fishermouse]

We have had so many great family vacations with our DD and I find myself with hurt feelings that she doesn't want to spend time with us. Earlier this year we didn't think we would be able to go to WDW and could only do HH for spring break. She was very disapointed but understood that the economy is not great. We agreed she could take a friend to HH this spring (friend is now backing out) because the cost so much less than WDW. I think we may have to use some creative ways to entice her to go alone with us because I have alot of apprehension about taking a friend. I keep telling her that the Disney experiences are going to be less and less because she is going to be getting a job and soon college.

I appreciate all the replies.

Imagine that, a teenager that hurts her parents feeling's . She's 15 get used to a little disapointment and remember that in a few years you will get your loving daughter back. Until then stand your ground and be polite it drives them crazy. As far as the friend is concerned we started taking friends very early on, but we were selective as to which friend was invited and knew the parents and child well. Most of these kids were at our house several days a week since elementary school so we were used to each other. Is it possible I miss those days?

 

[saratogadreamin09]

I just booked a trip to WDW from June 14-23 at SSR. My DH and I are super excited that we are able to stay for longer than our usual week but DD 15 is not as excited. She wants to bring a friend but I'm sure her friend's parents are not going to pay large amount to pay for park tickets etc and we can't afford to pay for them either. We are doing the drive and cook in the room trip this time. Up until now, DD has been ok with just the family but I don't want her to be unhappy the entire trip either. Any suggestions from other teen parents on how they handle this. Thanks!

This is coming from a 14 year old that is a huge disney lover and just got back from SSR


SSR is a great place and I'm sure once your daughter gets there she'll find tons to do. I loved being able to walk to DTD and go shopping and go to disney quest. The pools are AWESOME and you can rent bikes if you want. One of the keys is to let your daughter have independence and let her go here own way. I also loved being able to go and visit other resorts, it kept me entertained for a day.

Have a great trip

 

[thumpermom]

My son is 16. We have been taking friends with us for the last few years. For us it’s the best of all possible worlds. I do agree that you have to be selective about who is invited.

As far as “who calls the shots?” well of course it’s us! And my son would never act out or have an attitude! That said we want him to have fun! After all, it’s his vacation too. How we usually work it is that we all go off in the morning for our touring. Then, when we have done the majority of the main attractions, and the lines get longer, the boys are usually ready to split off and go do their own thing – sometimes it’s another park, sometime the pool, sometimes Downtown Disney, etc. We may or may not meet up with them for dinner.

The rule is that we MUST know where they are at all times. It’s ok if they change their mind and go to another location, but they must check in with us to let us know, and then let us know when they arrive there.

It works out great for everyone. We really enjoy our time with the boys and DH and I really enjoy the time we spend alone together. We just returned from a trip in February and it was one of the best we ever had.

Good luck with your decision. Hope the trip turns out great, whatever you decide.

 

[garnet1240]

"She's 15 get used to a little disapointment and remember that in a few years you will get your loving daughter back."

Truer words were never spoken! LOL! Mom of DD17 and DD21...
That's a rough age 13-16 My DD17 was sitting on the couch watching tv with me the other day , out of the blue she smiles reaches over and gives me a kiss on the cheek... me: "what's up now..something going on?" ..she: "nope, hadn't told ya in awhile I love ya"

So there is hope, boy is it a rocky time, but I had to learn it's not personal, just them trying to figure out how to grow up!

We've done trips with both, brought friends, and gone just family. Attitudes happen either way, I give a couple options I'm ok with, them it's their choice, I move on.

Whatever you decide to do, have a great trip!!!

 

[edk35]

Well we are just now experiencing this with our 15 year old. He has always loved going to WDW and the past two trips Nov. 08 and Jan. 09 he started conplaining. I think we burned him out. Our dd 18 and ds 10 are fine going. He is very involved in soccer and pretty much plays year round and also hates to miss even one day of school...so I attribute it to that. However....this summer we are going back for 9 nights and he really wants to stay with our friends' family. DH says NO he will go with us and it is not a choice for him to stay home and I am not sure how I feel. I would worry about him not being with us probably. He says "mom it will save your money by me NOT GOING". LOL We stayed at BCV last summer and he loved it and we are staying there again this summer too. I think once he is there he will be JUST fine. It is hard when the kids start to complain about going. I think we have been JUST too much in his eyes. The past 2 years we have gone to WDW 3 times each year. So that is a lot. This summer we are vacationing with friends that have kids our age so it helps to have other friends to hang with when those teen years hit. I don't think I am at the point YET to bring a friend along. Good luck with your decision.

 

[daisyduck123]

So far, my DD14 & DS11 have never asked to bring a friend. They are perfectly happy to go with just our family of 4. BUT....I might add...we have started vacationing with another family (edk35 who posted above) & the kids have a ball together.

DH & I used to discuss that some families bring kids' friends along, & that we would probably never do it. I used to say how I wished we had family with kids so that we could all vacation together (my kids are the ONLY kids on both sides of the family). Then we met another DVC family! Perfect!

I don't think I would have a 15yo bring a friend along. It would make the trip feel soooo different. I would have to go into expecting a very different kind of trip.

We have already given the go-ahead though for DD to bring a close friend in June 2011 for a week. She'll be 16yo & it will be her graduation gift instead of going to BEACH WEEK here in Maryland. She & the friend are super excited & I'm happy that she'll be where I can sort of keep an eye on her rather than sending her off to a drunken week in Ocean City, Maryland with 20 friends!

 

[edk35]

So far, my DD14 & DS11 have never asked to bring a friend. They are perfectly happy to go with just our family of 4. BUT....I might add...we have started vacationing with another family (edk35 who posted above) & the kids have a ball together.

DH & I used to discuss that some families bring kids' friends along, & that we would probably never do it. I used to say how I wished we had family with kids so that we could all vacation together (my kids are the ONLY kids on both sides of the family). Then we met another DVC family! Perfect!

I don't think I would have a 15yo bring a friend along. It would make the trip feel soooo different. I would have to go into expecting a very different kind of trip.

We have already given the go-ahead though for DD to bring a close friend in June 2011 for a week. She'll be 16yo & it will be her graduation gift instead of going to BEACH WEEK here in Maryland. She & the friend are super excited & I'm happy that she'll be where I can sort of keep an eye on her rather than sending her off to a drunken week in Ocean City, Maryland with 20 friends!

We do have fun together don't we. Thank goodness our kids get along great too. What fun memories we make and yet we can also do our own thing on the trip some too. Works like a charm.