Long Story: Need Advice UPDATE POST #46

[quasar4legs]

I think Abbie and Joe deserve each other..................and Jan deserves to be with someone that is honest, loyal and loving.

Whatever happens down the track there is little to no chance of you all remaining friends IMHO.

 

[M5ward]

Wow, a man who would cheat on his family, and another woman who would willingly have a relationship with a man, jeopardizing his family and hurting his current wife.

I know life is full of grays, but they are being deceitful, and consciously acting in a way that is detrimental to a family. I'd seriously rethink my friendship with them.

Totally agree!!

 

[Lassie Lynne]

Gosh...........why does this make me think of Knot's Landing??

OP....good luck with all of this, thank god I have never had friends do that so I can't give any advice.

 

[OceanAnnie]

What's really sad is 2 families in jeopardy.

That's a lot of time that A & J have been carrying a torch. Did you say 30 years? While it might seem fresh and exciting "reacquainting" now, there is a real possibility that while they are compatible on the surface, they have changed immensely over the years. What will be left behind in their wake will be shattered families and lives (and that's even if it does lead to more than a fling and a re-coupling).

I think it completely stinks. They broke up all those years ago for a reason, whatever it was and made separate lives.

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

I know of two new couples that left good marriages for overwhelming attraction to someone else. Both have at least one partner that now regrets it. In one new marriage the adult children refuse to see the Dad anymore because they feel he betrayed their Mother.

If passion is Hope plus Doubt then that is why a marriage can't be the same intensity of passion, because there isn't doubt anymore if you get married.

But with a marriage you can have trust, appreciation, shared history, and true acceptance of each other.

"What you feel matters only to yourself, how you act affects all who you claim to love"

 

[Cindyluwho]

Update: Jan called this morning, we talked for awhile. She mentioned that she finally talked Joe into couples counseling. She's been after him for years to go and he finally agreed, they went to their first session on Thursday. He has some serious communication issues, very quiet and shy and he's never been good about opening up, even with Jan. I know Abbie and her DH have been in counseling for a few months. If nothing else, they're at least giving it the old college try before the do anything "too" stupid (as in stupider than they already have) I hope it all works out well for them.

And as one poster mentioned, there was a reason Joe and Abbie split all those many years ago and it was his communication problems. Maybe he's working on it for his marriage but maybe he's working on it for Abbie. Who the heck knows!? I'm sure learning a lesson on how to be a good listener, without giving any opinions!!

 

[mtemm]

to be honest, if he is being dishonest/less than truthful in therapy, he isn't giving it any try at all. but hoping the best for all involved all the same.