*LONG* Do you ever just want to "go away"?

[Lisa L from MI]

I actually think I have posted something similiar to this....but it is one of those days, weeks, starting of the year!!!!.....I have 2 DD's and have been going absolutely nuts. DH and I have NOT been getting along since Jan 1 this year!!!! We have been married for 13 years this June (dating since March 3, 1983!!!)

Sometimes I feel I have had enough....and I just want to go away!!!!!..........I try to talk to friends and family and since me and DH have always had an "argumentive" type of relationship....they really don't want to listen.

For one, I started a part time job....last March of 2003 (DD's are 8 and 10).....DH never wanted me to do it, eventhough we need the money. It is the GREATEST job I ever had.....it is a small machine shop and just me and the bosses daughter work in the office. I started at 10 an hour...and I thought that was pretty good, being out of the work force for like 8 years.......and I did just get a dollar raise out of it (plus, the other girl is out on maternity........so I am now working about 30 hours/wk) I get to come and go as I please....I really do.....I have no set time to be in or to leave plus (we camp in the summer all the time) and I was forever taking Fridays off which the other girl can't work.....I know and am sure I will continue doing, payroll, payables , receivables, running prints on the computer, personal errands, more or less...I run the whole office.

That comes to another story....I know that the other girl is the bosses daughter and I know all that comes with that.....BUT....BUT....when I was hired in, in March of last year (from a friend of theirs that told me they were looking)......I was told "10/hr....just answering phones and THATS IT".....and he did say it was going to be "boring" since that is what I was ONLY doing. Well, it was not too long after being hired that I was doing MUCH more!!!!!! Everything I mentioned above as well as more.....I mean, I know the whole financial situation as well as his personal!!!!!! Well, to the point......sorry....LONG POST!!!!!!.....but she (bosses daughter makes 17/hr) I just was kinda put up against a brick wall in my situation kinda.......I had this whole plan figured out about asking for a raise on my year anniversary....March 13.....and on Feb 2....my boss gave me that 1 dollar raise!!!! It does help now....that I am working 30 a week now...but soon I will be back to just about 18 and it isn't really much then............DH was so ticked off at me for not speaking up...but I couldn't.....anyway...guess that is REALLY bothering me...since I really went off on this subject...sorry........I think I am losing the point of my subject!!!!!!

Anyway.....now that I have been at 30 hours a week....DH has still not lifted a finger really to help me out....I even started a journal of "what I did during the day"......since he has asked me that quite a few times!!!!!!!

I am sorry if I am not on my subject, but can you tell...I do NEED to just get away....and with DH......that is not as easy as said and done!!!!!!,,,,,,,,if you all remember some past posts from a while ago.........

Anyway,......thanks for listening.....I didn't go reread my post.....which I probably should have but then again I am typing as thinking......GOSH>>>>>>>I CANT WAIT TO JUST GO TO WORK AGAIN TOMORROW!!!!!!!!


I want to more or less...escape reality for a while!!!!!!!!

BTW.......the other girl has only worked their 9 months longer than me and is 3 years younger....not that that really matters though...

ANOTHER EDIT.....DO YOU SOMETIMES THINK YOU NEED TO REALLY, REALLY TO STEP AWAY FROM THINGS...............I know....the grass is not always greener....but in times like this.....????

 

[robsmom]

Hang in there. I think most women who are working and trying to raise a family have times that they feel overwhelmed and need to get a way. Most of my friends do at times. For that matter most stay at home Mom's need a break sometimes to.

Is there any way that you could just take a few days by yourself. Do you have someone who could watch the kids (sounds like DH wouldn't?) . A day or two to just clear you head will do wonders!.

 

[Lars624]

 

[wdw4us]

I wanted to run away many times. When my kids were young and life was too much, I lay in bed and cry and want to just go back in time when it was just the two of us. After a good cry I knew it couldn't happen but sometimes that cry was enough to cleanse me for the moment, get up and move on.

It will get better in time but it'll take a while. Sending you some pixie dust to brighten your day.


***************************hope it works!

denise

 

[CEDmom]

I think this happens to the best of us. Everyone needs the opportunity to recharge. If you can't really get away is there anyway you could take a personal day while your DD's are in school and your DH is at work? As much as I love my DH and DD I'm looking forward to President's Day. Both of them will be out of the house and I'll have the whole day to myself. Could you do that or maybe arrange playdates on a Saturday and go off by yourself for a few hours. I bet some other Moms would love to host your DD's and in return you could do the same for them another day. Hang in there.

 

[Serena]

Oh yeah.

btw, a counselor has helped me a lot, you might think about seeing one. Your hubby too, it might help.

 

[believe]

Definitely. I think even those who are in what some would consider better relationships still need that time away.

 

[kdibattista]

 

[snoopy]

Two words, honey:

Spa Day



I've been there, many times. Often when our children are little its not really possible to take a few days to ourselves -- but usually fitting in a day of solitude is more feasible. Since you said your job is flexible, ask for a personal day and use it as a mental recharger. Do something you like to do - whether it be a spa day, seeing a movie, shopping, or sitting in solitude. Its positively therapeutic.

Try it, you'll be happier when you do.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Hi Lisa! Oh yea, I feel as you do except I am NOT working and I am still going crazy!
(Similiar stories btw) We also dated been dating since 1983 and we were married 13yrs in Dec. I have 7 & 12 (13soon yikes dds).
Also I am turning 39 this month.

Since I am NOT working I bounce between despair and "clean sweeping" my house. We are doing a big purge of ALL of out unused items.
Let me tell you, it is making me & dh crazy!

So hang in there and I hope you can "get away" with DH!

 

[powellrj]

boy do I know where you are coming from. Its gotten to be the family joke, "What does mom what??? Oh yeah a vacation by herself" Its my dream, and as soon as the kids get old enough that I can leave them for a few days, I am out of here!!!! I don't have anyone to watch them or I would take my little trip NOW!! My DM thinks it the dumbest thing she has ever hear of and won't keep the kids and DH works and can't take-off long enough for me to even go to an overnight with the ladies of our church. When my oldest DS was at home, he would stay with them so I could travel overnight with my job, but now that he is in the Army, I even had to give up the overnights at work. I guess we all need a dream, but I really need a vacation. After working full time, being married 26 years and having 3 kids ages 20, 12, 7, I think that I have earned it!!

Good luck to us both......Maybe we could start the DISmoms vacation club!!!

 

[browneyes]

I want to just "go away" all the time.

 

[Lisa L from MI]

Thanks everyone.
Getting ready to go off to work....I REALLY love my job...I guess because it feels like I am "needed" and not "taken for granted"......

I think after, I just want to come home and go to sleep!!!!!


Thanks again all!!!!
Lisa

 

[Girls Scout Leader]

I think, too, the weather does not help either. It's been a long cold winter. I am about 2 - 3 hours north of you, and this time of year it is hard not to get depressed. Next week we are supposed to get a bit of a thaw... DH tells me I thaw when the lakes do...

 

[OhMari]

Hi Lisa from MI
I'm from WI. Can anyone say Spring please. Anyway, I caught that the boss's daughter makes more than you. Sometimes the owners like to pay their family more because of tax write-off's to family members. I make the same amount as you do and run a whole office. We are totally underpaid. I don't think this will ever change.

I married my h.s. sweetheart and there are times, I can't even look at him. All last summer, I wanted to walk out and get a divorce. I just found that you can't change a person over nite, you have to do it slowly.

When we are in the same part of the house, I'll say, "Grab that basket and bring it down to the laundry room." I make sure I have something in my hands also. If they are sitting in front of the tv, forgetaboutit. You have to get them, when they are up and moving and they can move with you.

My husband has been laid off since Oct. and yesterday he got 2 jobs interviews. He said to me, what are you going to do if I get a job and I can't make supper. Please the guy makes supper maybe twice a week. But I didn't argue, they just have no clue how much work it takes to keep a home going.

I spent a weekend with my daughter at Northern MI U, right in her dorm. Her roomate went home for the weekend. My husband and other 3 older kids couldn't believe I left them for the weekend. It was the first time I ever did anything remotely like that. My daughter loved it, she couldn't believe it either.

Hang in there, there are more moms out there like you than you realize.

 

[gshoemate]

Been there...when I was pregnant for my DS I spent 7 weeks straight in the hospital then was on bedrest until he was born. Then I took like a month off and went straight back to work. My part time job at Wal-mart turned into a fulltime job because DH was going to be losing his job and I just felt alot of pressure. I spent many daydreaming moments at work just thinking about hopping on a bus and heading to the place where I have been the most relaxed....Yellowstone National Park. Out in the Mountains...all alone. I could really picture myself out there, working in one of the stores, living in the dorms. But then I had to pull myself back to reality and know I had my family to take care of.

I agree, a spa day would help. Or just a day to yourself with no worries. Go to the mall, do some window shopping. Go to the movies and eat a big bag of popcorn. I even enjoy just going out to lunch by myself.

 

[sharbear]

I spent a weekend with my daughter at Northern MI U, right in her dorm. Her roomate went home for the weekend. My husband and other 3 older kids couldn't believe I left them for the weekend

You must have really wanted to go away. To drive from WI to Marquette, MI in the middle of the winter. Probably in a blizzard!

Lisa Hugs, I think that everybody goes through this with their DH.

 

[Rajah]

Yup.