Long Distance suckiness

[DramaQueen]

This is a semi-personal vent...but I just need support/advice/anything you are willing to give right now.


My boyfriend, of over a year, whom I love to the moon and back and haven't gone a day without (with VERy few exceptions) just moved into his university dorms today. The University he's at is only about an hour away, but with our busy schedules, it's gonna be really hard for us to see each other.
I had to say goodbye to him last night and that was the most difficult thing I've done in a while. I can't remember crying so hard.

I know he's really scared to be living on his own (he's got a single room, no roommate) and I know he's gonna get really homesick and miss me tons. (if it's half as much as I already miss him)

We can video chat on our Macbooks, we did earlier tonight, but honestly, it's really hard to see him and not be able to touch him.

I have SO much respect for people who have long distance relationships/internet relationships and only get to see their sig. other once or a few times a year. I truly do.

I know to people like that I probably sound like a boyfriend-spoiled brat. But going from seeing each other every single day, spending every possible moment together, to not knowing when we'll see each other next is absolutley KILLING me.

SO right now, I just really need support and advice from my friends (that would be you guys)

I'm sorry if I sound whiney, I'm just...going mental right now!!!

help?

 

[hidmickey:myantidrug]

 

[::Snow_White::]

If you need to talk PM me.
Though I've never even had a boyfriend so I couldn't exactly give advice, I'm a great listener. :]

 

[iluvbelle1203]

Ha im in the same boat you are! Its crazzyy! I cant imagine if my boyfriend went away tho, so i give you major props for dealing with this, you got to be one strong chica!

 

[DisGirlAllie]

 

[Princess Ash]

Hey hun! It is awful, trust me I totally know. My bf of 6 months just moved to Las Vegas, NV to work as a School Psychologist in a suburb of the county. Did I mention I live in MA? Let's just say we are not bf/gf anymore. We decided when he moved away that long distance just wasn't going to work because I would probably never see him. Already the every-day phone chats became shorter and now we don't even talk every day at all.
It totally sux, I know, but I'm here for you.

As far as advice for you, when he says "I'm really sorry I haven't been able to talk I've just been so busy..." please believe him. I lost a friend to being "busy" in college and I alienated him because I believed that he wasn't making time for me. Then I went to college and realized it is a 24-hour-a-day commitment. You are going 24/7, whether talking to people in the dorm (which you HAVE to do, especially in the first semester), going to class, doing hw, doing activities, running errands that your MOM used to run for you, or going out...it is EXHAUSTING and by the time you are back you don't even want to go online or talk on the phone, you just want to totally crash. It doesn't mean he has forgotten about you, it just means he is busy. I hope you guys get to see each other. I have a suggestion: why don't you two set up a 2-hour time slot each week to have a "video chat date" where you can eat together or sit online talking while watching the same movie on TV and talk about it or whatever, then you will still get to really spend that time together, even if you can't touch. And seeing him in person will be all that much more special because you won't take it for granted (even if you didn't before).

Good luck, and I'm here for you if you EVER EVER need to PM or whatever more.

 

[disney100666]

aww, I'm so sorry!
you you need to vent you can just PM me, like Kayla, I've never had a bf but I am also a great listener.

 

[DramaQueen]

Thanks for the great advice Ash!
We're definatley going to try keeping up with the video chat thing.
I really miss him, it's still really new, and it feels like he's just gone to camp or something!

He said he's going to try to come home on friday until sunday, so hopefully i don't have to work!!

Thanks again everyone for all your support
And trust me, I'll probably be flooding your PM inboxes if I get in a tizzy.

 

[ktbutterfly2011]

I'm sorta going through the same thing right now. Except it's with my... almost best friend. And she's a girl.... and she moved with her family to TX. But yeah. You can always PM me too. We can be missing together.

 

[MuNkY]

It's hard with Shelby and I. Her being in Tennessee, me in Michigan. We get to see each other every few months.

Be thankful that he's only an hour away.

 

[Sparx]

aww caitlin

I think you have me on msn, right? You can vent to me anytime you want to.

I completely understand how you feel. I think it may even be worse for you, to be so close but not get to see each other. The only thing that I can say is that it does get better. Trust me. It gets to a point where you don't really feel the distance so much. Talk every chance you can, video chat, text, cells, anything. (even a hand written snail mail letter is nice every once in awhile) Cherish the moments that you have had with him. and take all the days you can to be together. Look forward to the days you will be together. I've got a running count down till I get to see mike again. it makes it easier to sometimes watch the seconds tick down on it.

You have a love with Derek that some people will never ever ever experience, and you found it so young. You have your whole lives to be together. As soon as both of you graduate you're going to get to be with him every day again, and you're so so so lucky to have that.

These next few years are gonna be hard, but I have this theory that distance makes relationships stronger. Mike and I NEVER disagree. We work so well together, and I think part of that is because we know what its like to be without each other, and we don't want to push each other any further away than we already are. Does that make any sense? Distance makes you long for the person more, so the days that you do see them are so much better, because youre logging everything into your memory, so you can enjoy it later when you're apart again.

Its so so so hard at first, but just trust me in saying it will get easier, and it will stop hurting so badly. This has turned out a little longer htan I planned, but like I said, you have my MSN, and you can IM (or PM me) any time you want. I think I know distance a little better htan most here (save mike of course) Having been in a 1year+ relationship with the majority of that being far far away from my significant other. If you need anything at all, please talk to me.

and again.

 

[TOT_Princess_412]

 

[XxCuriosityxX<3]

 

[Lil_Tink]

You can do it! My BF lives about an hour away as well! Everyone at the dis is here to help you

 

[Arielfn93]

I'm so sorry, but you can survive this!
Just stay strong :]

 

[MadameLeota]

Video chats are the greatest...me and my boyfriend couldn't figure out how to make the sound work though, so we used the video chats and talked on the phone at the same time...almost like he was there.

My boyfriend is gone until January, and I haven't seen him since last October...so I know what you're going through.

*hug*

 

[BabyPiglet]

You can PM me anytime.

 

[DramaQueen]

thanks SO much for the support guys, you SERIOUSLY rock!
and it has honestly helpedme alot!!!

I'm going to surprise him on friday and pick him up with his mom (he doesnt know im coming) so I'm really excited.

So we'll get to spend friday night and saturday night together. Then he's back off again.

 

[EeyoreFan1]

thanks SO much for the support guys, you SERIOUSLY rock!
and it has honestly helpedme alot!!!

I'm going to surprise him on friday and pick him up with his mom (he doesnt know im coming) so I'm really excited.

So we'll get to spend friday night and saturday night together. Then he's back off again.

That will be an amazing surprise for him!!