Little Kindergarten Problem....

[jel0511]

O.K. Here is the problem.... DD is VERY shy and is afraid to talk to her teacher (she took a couple of months to warm up to her preshcool teachers). So, she's of course afraid to ask to go to the potty. I'm sure you can see where this is going.... Well, on Friday, she didn't go all day (first full day) and then after I got her off the bus, she had an accident while we were walking home. Today, she had an accident in school because again she didn't ask. She said she did raise her hand, but probably not in enough time. I talked to her after I changed her from the clothes they sent her home in, and told her to ask BEFORE it becomes an emergency, or try to go to the potty after snack or before recess. It's just that she's SO AFRAID of other adults tahat I'm afraid that she won't ask again. I've thought of writing a note to the teacher to ask her to ask DD if she needs to go, but I'm going to wait to see what happens tomorrow. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do? I'm at a loss, and I would like to try to get through to her that it's O.K. to ask to go to the potty.

 

[Cinders]

Call the teacher and explain the problem. Its possible the teacher has tried to get the students to only use the restrooms at specific times and your DD may be afraid to ask to use the restroom at a time other than when the teacher specifies. Maybe the teacher could make her the Line Leader or something else special to encourage your DD to warm up to her a little faster too.

 

[Beauty]

I'd definatly either call her teacher or even go to the school and talk to her teacher one on one. Teachers of children this age understand and most probably have gone through this before and know better how to handle it and how to make your DD feel more comfortable with her.

Good luck and {{HUGS}}

 

[jel0511]

I should have added that I did meet with the teacher the week before school and told her about DD's reluctance to talk to adults. She even went to a "practice" week of kindergarten and her teacher was her teacher at this camp. So, she is aware of the problem, but maybe I should send a note it... I just don't know....

 

[Beauty]

I would send a note or call her to let her know what has been happening. That way she can watch your DD for signs and ask her if need be. It would probably also look like the teacher is being really nice and showing your DD attention which should make her feel more comfortable around this lady.

 

[Accash]

Go and talk with the teacher. Tell her exactly what is going on and ask her if she would help you out by giving out some potty breaks throughout the day. If she isn't willing to go for this idea, then ask her to explain to the class about potty breaks. I am a room mom for my DD and the teachers I have been helping are really cool about things like this. Also, if your school has a school psychologist , have her team up with the teacher to help your DD with her shyness. In our school, they usually have the shy child team up with a buddy and also do little things like being a door holder, or to give out the papers etc. Good Luck

 

[Eiblis]

I would let the school/teacher know......it is so hard for little ones to feel brave enough to get teachers attention esp in front of class mates too.

(((((hugs))))))

 

[jel0511]

Thanks for the support, it really helps!!! Eiblis, thanks for you PM, it really helped!!! If DD was shy with everyone, it would be easier, but it's only with authorative figures, ie teachers, grandparents (yes, she's still shy around my mom, DH's mom at first), other children, she's fine. The teacher is aware of this, and I asked her to work on it. I just wrote the teacher a note asking to help her become more comfortable with going to the potty, we'll see how that goes before taking any additional steps.

 

[Fishbone†]

I had this same problem growing up, especially in Kindergarten (possibly because the concept of school and other adults was so new). Anyway I was super shy, and it had similar results. In fact, one time when the bus driver didn't stop at my house to drop me off (I hadn't ridden the bus to school, so he didn't realize I had rode it home), I was so shy I didn't tell him. He actually brought the bus back to the bus garage, parked it, and was halfway down the steps of the bus before I resorted to crying to get his attention. I know it's weird, but I was almost physically unable to make myself talk to adults. I can't explain it. Anyway, I think if you were able to work out some kind of signal between your DD and her teacher where DD wouldn't have to say anything, but was able to "alert" the teacher to her needs in a less threatening way, she could "survive" until she became more comfortable.... which may take awhile if she's at all like I was, but it will come. Something like putting a red piece of paper out on her desk or setting something in certain position at the corner of her desk, turning her chair a certain way..... something inconspicuous that her teacher could watch for and then give her a silent signal that it was okay to go..... something that wouldn't draw direct attention to your DD from the other kids.... a nod or a wink..... something like that. Maybe she'd be able to get the attention she needs without feeling embarrassed. I know it doesn't teach her how to speak up, but it will get her past this and hopefully eventually she will begin to feel more comfortable. There is hope, because although I am not extremely outgoing now, I'm wouldn't consider myself shy anymore (in most situations)....... and believe me, my mom thought I would never talk to people.....ever seen those children that hide behind and under their mothers???

 

[Tinkbell]

Glad to see you wrote the teacher a note. This will probably help with the problem. It would be great if the teacher told your DD that it was ok to ask to use the bathroom.