Little Girls in the Mens Room?

[WDSearcher]

I'd forgotten about it until now. But I have a new twist for you guys. When I was there in May, I walked into the restroom in the UK (across from the Rose & Crown). Most of you probably know the one I'm talking about. I walked in with another lady and just behind us a man walked in with his wife and daughter. Both I and the lady that walked in with me, were in shock. Before I could say anything, the other lady demanded to know what he was doing in the ladies room and he said he was accompanying his wife and daughter because they didn't speak English. Excuse me, I don't think so . At the same time, several ladies in there started yelling for him to get out. He was determined to stay. His wife spoke rather frantically to him, but he just shook his head and motioned for the wife and daughter to go into a stall, while he stood there. A woman finally stalked out and called for security, who escorted him out, with him complaining the whole time that there was nothing wrong with him being in there, because his wife and daughter didn't speak English and he had a right to keep them safe. Excuse me but why would a grown woman with her child need a man to keep her safe in the ladies room (whether she spoke Enlish or not). This happened the first week of May this year.

I think that some countries have the opinion that the kind of "free and open" places like the US are somehow more dangerous than the more staid countries of Europe or other regions. I'm thinking what was probably on the husband's mind was that some unscrupulous person would try to steal from or harm his wife or daughter in some way and, since they did not speak the language, they would be more prone to be taken advantage of. I can see his point, if he's been in a similar situation before.

The thing that really makes me wonder is why all the other women got so freaked out by it? It's not like the guy was hitting on the women or trying to get into the stalls or doing anything threatening. He made it very clear that he was there to watch over his wife and daughter to keep them safe. Unless all of these women were planning on stripping down by the sinks and taking a "sink bath" or something, who cares? Women are always saying how, when it's really crowded at concerts or whatever, they'll just go in the men's room, because there's not a line. But have a guy walk into the ladies' room and it's pandemonium. Women go to the bathroom behind closed doors. Again ... what are they afraid the guy is going to see or do?

European countries have had co-ed bathrooms for years. Shouldn't be that big of a deal, YWIM?

 

[Todd&Copper]

Unfortunately this is not "back in the day" where every one loved one another and did no harm to children.

FYI, "back in the day" plenty of adults did children harm, we just didn't have the Internet, 24/7 news and Amber Alerts to let us know what was going on halfway around the country.

 

[Kay1]

Disney does have companion and family bathrooms throughout all the parks, but they're not in every single restroom area.

Yes, and if finding them is a problem just ask at Guest Services. I know because my son has autism and can't visit the mens room unattended. If worse comes to worse go to First Aid - they have family bathrooms.

 

[kapoof]

As a mother of 3 boys, I am always taking my boys in the bathroom with me. Granted I know it is different because womens restrooms have stalls.

But what if the father is a single father? I am not comfortable with my 9 yo ds going to the restroom by himself unless it is a one room bathroom with lock and I can see the door.

I realize it is tough it being a father and daughter type situation. If it was like this in our family (which it is not) my dh would probably try to lead "our" daughter with his hand over her eyes to a stall.

Unfortunately this is not "back in the day" where every one loved one another and did no harm to children.

I have gotten dirty looks from women before because I have taken my ds in with me. Fine by me. I will take those dirty looks any day over something happening to my children.

i can't believe women would give you dirty looks!! i see little and not so little boys in womens public bathrooms all the time. i think its a very smart and safe thing to do.

 

[goofyernmost]

Well, I'm optimistic, but I'm also a realist. The reality is, kids do get hurt. And yes, it may be unlikely, but I'll be damned if my child is going to be the exception.

Caution is one thing, obsession is another. You cannot protect kids from life completely. They must learn how to deal with situations that might occur to them when you are not there and you cannot be there 24/7 without doing the child some serious harm yourself. What's worse, the remote possibility that something might happen or the life long induced fear brought on by parents that cannot help but "protect" them from imaginary (for the most part) dangers? It quite frankly is a balancing act. Not everything and everyone is a danger to them. Good grief they will grow up intimidated and unable to trust anyone.

I read your post as not being optimistic and not realist, the reality is it is much more likely for your child to be assulted by a family member or friend than a stranger in a public place.

Amen...

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

It may be my lack of sleep or massive headache, so I may be understanding this wrong. You mean that you would rather see an adult woman go into the men's restroom to take her son to use the bathroom, than a father taking his daughter?

Heck yeah! There is nothing in a mens room that a mother has not seen (and for the record there is no visible nudity in a mens room).

The other option is take your 10 year old boy into YOUR stall with you. When one no longer wants to be in the stall with their son, their son should be in the appropriate sex bathroom.

I would never say anything to a young man in a restroom as I am sure they do not want to be there either, but I would probably laugh about it later.

 

[Narnia]

I figure it's an age thing(maturity). My sons use the boys bathroom but they have to go together. I don't think a pediphile will attack kids in groups( ours is usualy 3-4). I also wouldn't want my DD to be exposed to urinals. "Mommy what's that man doing" comes to mind. If they were behing closed doors like the womans I'd have no issues. Womans washrooms always have stalls but I don't think I'd like a man to come in with me even in a differant country. When my kids need to be force to come into the washroom with me it's time for them to use the men's. My (almaost) 6 year old is just starting that give it a year and no more mommy washroom for him.

 

[bicker]

Heck yeah! There is nothing in a mens room that a mother has not seen

You've hit the nail on the head. Also, who is more likely to conduct themselves with decorum and proper deference for the privacy of others: a mother with her juvenile son in the men's room, or a juvenile boy with his mother in the women's room?

"Mommy what's that man doing" comes to mind.

Yes, precisely right.

 

[Mike©]

Just to add a little fact to this thread. Since the advent of the Assisted Bathroom, it is illegal to bring a child into a bathroom of the opposite sex. Possible actions that can be taken against the violator are arrest, fines and the removal of your child from your family by Child Services. This is why so many maintenace closets between bathrooms at WDW were converted to Assisted Bathrooms ( along with ADA compliance ).

 

[bicker]

I didn't know that. Do you have a citation or reference to it? This comes up a lot, on a variety of forums, and I've never seen it mentioned; I'd sure like to have the text of the actual law to share when it comes up next.

 

[In a hurry]

I am always amazed when people talk about the world 50 years ago as if it was something like Mary Poppins, and that only recently has this changed. Unfortunately, There have ALWAYS been paedophiles, thieves and dangerous people in the world. That is the truth.
I understand that this is a real worry for people, but this is nothing new, and as a British person who viewed American News for 3 weeks recently, it is no wonder you people are nervous wrecks! Your news coverage is obsessed with putting the fear of god into people in order to keep people watching. You would think by watching your media coverage that every person next to you is a child-abducting, gun-rampaging, religious fanatic terrorist! Unfortunately our media tends to be following the same route.
I think that people need to remember that the actual likelihood of anything happening to your child, as long as you take normal common-sense precautions, is ridiculously low. The unfortunate cases that we are subjected to in the media are the exception, not the norm.
As a male, I do feel uncomfortable when there are young girls of about 10 years of age in a mens bathroom. I also get the feeling when I see them forced into there that they are not too thrilled to be there themselves. I feel that there is a major difference beween this and say a young girl of 2-3 years old.
I can predict that I'm going to get flamed for this, but all of the kids in my family have been educated not to talk to strangers, and to scream and shout if anybody ever trys to touch them, and I feel that if they are left alone for a minute whilst one of us has to use a bathroom, that they are comfortable with that trust and confident to be able to handle that. I hate the 'wrapped in cotton wool' attitude, that some parents basically put the fear of god into their kids that if they ever leave their side, that they are ****ed on their own. I do not think that this is healthy.
I think we all need to just look at things objectively, and not spend so much time watching Fox news for how to live our lives.

I agree with the majority of your post. With one exception. We've taught our kids to talk with strangers. The world is full of people we don't know. Choosing who is a good person to approach, and who makes them uncomfortable has been emphasized in our home.

I would also suggest that ALL of the media contributes to the abundance of fear...not just Fox!

 

[vtwep]

Regarding the man in the bathroom with this wife and daughter who didn't speak English...

Not sure where they were from, but keep in mind that many countries have unisex bathrooms - there is no "men's room" or "women's room"...just bathrooms. It is this way in many office buildings, restaurants, etc. So, perhaps he was just doing what they always do and didn't think it was a big deal. As to his safety concerns, who knows. But to them, it may not have been out of the norm for all of them to be in the same bathroom and maybe they figured it wouldn't be a big deal?

 

[goofyernmost]

Just to add a little fact to this thread. Since the advent of the Assisted Bathroom, it is illegal to bring a child into a bathroom of the opposite sex. Possible actions that can be taken against the violator are arrest, fines and the removal of your child from your family by Child Services. This is why so many maintenace closets between bathrooms at WDW were converted to Assisted Bathrooms ( along with ADA compliance ).

My, my what an interesting bit of information. Would that mean that someone, sometime felt that bringing an older child with one to the opposite sex bathroom might be harmful to the child as well? Guess one cannot win, can they. Expose them to danger by themselves or danger with a parent. It is a true quandary.

 

[fireman17]

Our one and only daughter just turned seven this year and considers herself a "big girl" now and I see her that way too. In Feb. this year we were at WDW and each time she need to go to the bathroom she wanted to go by herself and my wife wasn't too happy about that. I calmed my wife to let her know I'll be right outside the door so my wife gave in.
I went over our safety rules and off she went and out she came with the biggest smile on her face because she did it herself. Now we have two sons as well one is ten the other five so when my wife is by herself she is starting to let our ten year old take our five year old with him and both do fine.
The only time I'll take my daughter with me if we are somewhere and the lines for the ladies room is too long and she can't hold it but, that happens few and far between.
So I think it's comes to the families comfort level and if I'm in the men's room and see a father with his daughter so be it.

 

[In a hurry]

Just to add a little fact to this thread. Since the advent of the Assisted Bathroom, it is illegal to bring a child into a bathroom of the opposite sex. Possible actions that can be taken against the violator are arrest, fines and the removal of your child from your family by Child Services. This is why so many maintenace closets between bathrooms at WDW were converted to Assisted Bathrooms ( along with ADA compliance ).

I don't think so. What is your reference?

 

[scoolover]

Just to add a little fact to this thread. Since the advent of the Assisted Bathroom, it is illegal to bring a child into a bathroom of the opposite sex. Possible actions that can be taken against the violator are arrest, fines and the removal of your child from your family by Child Services. This is why so many maintenace closets between bathrooms at WDW were converted to Assisted Bathrooms ( along with ADA compliance ).

I don't believe this for one second. I am going to need to see some proof. Perhaps a link or an article by a respected outlet will do.

 

[Tinkerspell]

Just to throw this out there, but... you have co-ed bathrooms at home, right? I'm not trying to be snarky, I'm just saying...

 

[fozzilfinder]

Just to throw this out there, but... you have co-ed bathrooms at home, right? I'm not trying to be snarky, I'm just saying...

Family versus strangers is a bit different. If it were the standard, it wouldn't bother me. But it isn't, and kids know where they should be, and are uncomfortable when forced to go into the wrong room.

 

[Claire&TheBoys]

As the mother of two sons, I'll continue to take them to the ladies' room with me when they need to use the restroom. The fact is that no matter how many times you tell a child to call for help, don't talk to strangers, etc., until a child is at least 10, he/she will panic if approached by someone and forget. Or if told, "if you scream, I'll kill you," a child cannot gauge the risk of actually being harmed; whether the attacker is telling the truth or not. Young children are highly gullible. They also lack foresight and cannot anticipate what may happen next. It's my job to protect my children from what they cannot imagine happening.

My children are 6 and 2. I can't say definitely when I'll allow my oldest to go to the men's room alone (unless it's a single unit with a locking door, which he does now). Until then, I will take them when I have to. Most times, my husband takes our older son when we are out as a family, but that's not always possible.

And regarding the "family restrooms" at WDW, any time the subject has been brought up on the DIS, the disabled advocates jump in and say they are "companion restrooms" and are for disabled folks and their caregivers, and that they should be left available for *only* those individuals, not for able-bodied adults and children who can use the regular facilities.

Please respect the parenting choices of other parents. You don't know what situations have arisen in the past to warrant those choices.

 

[Need An E Ticket]

I don't think I saw this mentioned, I apologize if it was already brought up. What if these fathers were there with his girl(s) and he had to go? I would not feel comfortable leaving a 10 year old girl by herself. I would feel safer with her in the stall. Yes, it would be incredibly awkward, but I would know she was safe.

My two coppers.