Life sucks then you die....Caution: negative post, turn back now...

[RitaZ.]

{{hugs}} to you RNMOM.

Your pain is obvious in your post. I think that the Army boot camp will be good for him, they won't put up with his attitude. After he experiences the Army boot camp, he will really appreciate you and his family.

{{hugs}}

 

[nativetxn]

I haven't read all of your replies, I'm just adding my thoughts here. If I duplicate what has already been said, then ignore me.

{{{HUGS}}} Raising kids can be painful.

I hope this gets worked out. The Army sounds like a good place for your son to go and finish growing up. He's going to be surprised at how difficult it is to offend and upset a drill sergeant He hasn't seen controlling yet, wait until he gets to boot camp


I want to urge you not to decide <i>now</i> that you won't attend his graduation from boot camp. If he makes it through boot he is going to be a very different young man by his graduation. Most importantly, don't let anger come between you and memories. This will be a once in a lifetime occasion. November is 5 months away, decide what you will do when you aren't feeling so upset.

Sorry that you are feeling so hurt. It hurts to be a mom lots of times. I remember it all, very well. My son went through a stage, senior year of high school and first couple of years of college, where his attitude was basically, "Just give me the money and shut the heck up." I had some angry times during those years.

It seems that sometimes these young adults want to be treated as adults <i>except</i> when it comes to the responsibility part. We're supposed to give them our money and they are supposed to do exactly what <i>they</i> want to do. Very frustrating.

Take heart, though, most young people grow up and leave that stage behind, thank goodness. I have no doubt that your son is just experiencing growing pains. He has a surprise waiting for him in the US Army. Let's just hope he doesn't quit before he finishes boot camp. More {{{HUGS}}} my friend. It <i>will</i> get better but it sure seems like it takes a long time.

Katholyn

 

[fireplug]

Sorry your son is not being a good child. Hopefully he will outgrow it in the army.

Please try and make up at least a little before he leaves. Without being morbid anything could happen and you don't want to spend the rest of your life regretting at least trying.

Steve

 

[Pembo]

RNMom-Sorry that your son is being a jerk! He'll come around, someday! Rant away at us, count the days until he leaves for boot camp and hopefully go to his graduation and see the new son the Army will give you. We're here for you..........


and the next time you go to WDW, take me! I'll definitely appreciate it!

 

[Poohbear123]

{{{Hugs}}}. Now, both of my kids DO NOT live in my Home anymore! Let them see what the REAL world is LIKE! I did the same thing, paid for everything, took them to WDW, and how do they re-pay me? They would rather hang out with their Friends then help us out when we need the grass cut, garbage, etc. My DD came home from College, after I PAID for the WHOLE Semester she did not finish, and said: 'My Counselor said I need to rest." So therefore, she could NOT get a Job or help out with anything. I said: "Than GO REST somewhere else!" BEST decision I made....its called TOUGH LOVE!

 

[jamsmom]

I just want to offer a great big {{{HUG}}}

 

[NancyIL]

There's nothing like unappreciative kids or a spouse to make you want to throw in the towel! Hang in there...I hear it gets better when they are adults.

My oldest daughter just finished her freshman year at college and is working at Philmont Scout Ranch in NM this summer... living in a tent! I figure she'll be very appreciative of her dorm room and bedroom at home when she returns!

 

[Trinity721]

Hugs from me too. Don't despair, mom. I think not going to his Army boot camp graduation would be a mistake though, IMHO. I know you are fed up with his behavior, and I don't blame you at all. I certainly wouldn't be able to tolerate that either. (thank goodness DD is only 10 mos! I have some time...) But I think Army bootcamp will turn him into a new person. When Dh went to Navy bootcamp, he came back a different person. In the military, you go to bootcamp thinking, yeah i'm hot stuff I can do this. But they break you down, the drill sargeants treat you like you are nothing so that they can build you up into the person you're supposed to be. If he thinks you're "controlling" then he'll get a swift kick in the behind. Drill sargeants tell you when to wake up, when to sleep, when to go to the bathroom, when to talk, when to breathe. Not kidding! He will be crying for his mommy, when he's lying in his bed lonely and homesick.

Please don't give up on him, I know it's hard. But I don't think you should miss his graduation. Trust me, military graduation is an emotional experience, and you will be so proud to see your son in his uniform beginning a new chapter in his life. I hope the Army changes him for the better. Feel free to pm me and vent or ask questions or just to have someone to listen to your frustrations

 

[RNMOM]

I just wanted to take a moment to thank you all for your thoughts. I already feel about 50% better than last night when I wrote it. I want you to know that I have on MANY occassions have talked with him over the years and told him how much we love and care for him. He is just not big on expressing himself.

I have always been the one to break down and make things right. I am not going to do so this time. I don't think I have to and also feel he needs to understand that sometimes you cause pain to someone you love that can't be fixed by ignoring it for a few days. I need him to come to me and talk to me to make it right. I think I have a long wait ahead of me. I am willing to wait. He is still just doing his "thing". Whatever that is these days. I did get his dad to make him finish the mowing as he was camped on the sofa all day until he decided to go play laser tag with some friends about 6pm. His dad was running around doing yard work. Stupid man. He says it is not worth the fight to make them help. I know he is right but that creates a lot of the problems. I do make them help.

Anyway. Time has a way of healing. You all had wonderful thoughts and ideas and I value them all. Thank you again.

Cordia

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>I just wanted to add another hug. I know this is really painful for you, and I truly hope that he will wake up soon and realize how much you love him.

 

[Disney Doll]

What was it that Mark Twian said..."I was surprised at how stupid my parents were when I was 16 and how much they had learned by the time I was 21." At least I think it was Mark Twain...whoever it was, they were smart!!!!!!

I would agree with the other posters who have said that your son doesn't know the menaing of the word "control" yet...but he will !!!!!!

Try to hang in there..underneath that rotten, insolent, lazy bra is a good person trying to get out. He'll have a new maturity level soon, and a new appreciation for home,family, and especially Mom and Dad.

 

[Dopey Sharon]

I know how you feel. I have a 20 year old DS. He is currently unemployed, again, and sleeps till noon, then lays around watching tv. When I come home from work, at 2pm, and ask him to do something...cut the grass, unload the dishwasher, etc, you may have thought I asked him to cut off his arm! He moans and grumbles and complains about how he has to do everything around here! HELLO!!! The last straw was Friday. I came home, told him to cut the grass, again (this was the second time I told him), he got up, went upstairs saying...."It's wet, if you want it cut so bad, you cut it, you lazy thing!" I flew up the stairs after him and told him that I am tired of being treated like this. If he goes off one more time, he's out of here! When my DH came home, I told him what he said, and of course DS denied it. With that, DH went out and cut the grass!!! He says it's easier to do it himself! OK, what's that teaching DS??? I wish he would join the armed forces, but he's on probabion for four more years (long story, but he's lucky he's not in jail), so I don't think he can, but he wouldn't anyway. He has an interview Tuesday for a job...he better hope he gets this one...his bank account is really shrinking. He does pay for his car and insurance though, but that $700 he has in the bank isn't going to last much longer. It's nice to know there are others out there with the same problems, I just wish none of us had to go through this! I, too, think boot camp will straighten your son out. Good luck!

 

[Maray]

Just checking back- Hope you're having a Happy Birthday today.
More Hugs and Pixie Dust to get you thru this frustrating time.
Hugs, Marilyn