Let the arguments begin...

[NewJerseyDVCMembers]

This has been a topic of discussion the last few weeks for us, we thought we'd post it here for opinions.

On our last visit a few weeks ago we saw an event unfold that had everyone in the area watching. We arrived at the Boardwalk bus area to catch a bus to the Magic Kingdom. The area had a handful of people, including a family, it appeared to be a mom and dad, a 10 year old (approx.) girl, and grandmother and grandfather.

The girl was relentlessly badgering her parents, which than turned into down-right nastiness. This went on for about 3 or 4 minutes, the parents were ignoring her and appeared to not want to engage her. When she became completely disrespectful, the people around started to look at each in disbelief.

At this point the grandmother began to get involved, the girls parents told grandma it wasn't her problem. By now grandpa had a look on his face. Before grandma could say another thing, the girl started back-talking her grandma. As soon as the first disrespectful comment was hurled at grandma, grandpa got up and slapped her in the mouth!!! He said something to the affect of "you are not speaking to my wife like that!", as he did the parents looked mortified.

The girl was crying and red-faced... but we didn't hear another peep out of her. The people in the area seemed to side with Grandpa, a few people could be heard muttering their approval as well.

What do you guys think? Let the discussions begin, and don't shoot the messenger.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

This has been a topic of discussion the last few weeks for us, we thought we'd post it here for opinions.

On our last visit a few weeks ago we saw an event unfold that had everyone in the area watching. We arrived at the Boardwalk bus area to catch a bus to the Magic Kingdom. The area had a handful of people, including a family, it appeared to be a mom and dad, a 10 year old (approx.) girl, and grandmother and grandfather.

The girl was relentlessly badgering her parents, which than turned into down-right nastiness. This went on for about 3 or 4 minutes, the parents were ignoring her and appeared to not want to engage her. When she became completely disrespectful, the people around started to look at each in disbelief.

At this point the grandmother began to get involved, the girls parents told grandma it wasn't her problem. By now grandpa had a look on his face. Before grandma could say another thing, the girl started back-talking her grandma. As soon as the first disrespectful comment was hurled at grandma, grandpa got up and slapped her in the mouth!!! He said something to the affect of "you are not speaking to my wife like that!", as he did the parents looked mortified.

The girl was crying and red-faced... but we didn't hear another peep out of her. The people in the area seemed to side with Grandpa, a few people could be heard muttering their approval as well.

What do you guys think? Let the discussions begin, and don't shoot the messenger.

I say hooray for Grandpa! Somebody needs to step up and let that little "princess" know when she's out of bounds. Sheesh - if she's talking to mom and dad like that now and they don't get her back in line.. they're going to have a fun time during her teen years.

 

[sjs314]

I do not approve of the grandfather hitting the child in the mouth at all but she needed to be disaplined with a good smack to the butt in my opinion , far too many parents these days have the "reason with the child" approach and it does not work. A child needs to learn respect of their elders.

Just yesterday I was out shopping and this child about 4 or 5 wanted something when told no he began to scream and scream he did the parents did not say a word to the boy, I quite loudly looked right at the father and said to my DH , than kid needs a good smack, the father glared at me and I think my DH wanted to shrink and disappear, but I am sorry I just see too much of kids saying or doing what they want nowadays and the parents just ignoreing the issue at hand.

 

[NewJerseyDVCMembers]

Let me clarify that granpa did use a Mike Tyson type blow, it was hard enough to get her attention. If I had to guess by what I saw, he was being "gentle" yet firm.

 

[MinnieGirl33]

I think the opinions on spanking tend to be generational.

I do NOT hit my kids. NO ONE has a right to touch my children besides me/DH. Period. But in a weird way I do understand the grandpa's reaction.

HOWEVER... It is not necessary in my case because my children have had consistent parenting from day 1. They understand what acceptable behavior is & is not. In the event that they feel the need to push the boundary all it takes is an evil eye from me or DH & that's it. They know that if they feel it necessary, the situation can be discussed in a more appropriate setting, i.e. in private, but in the moment, what we say goes. End of story.

I am purely guessing but based on the grandparents reactions, this was not a one time event & would bet the child is continuously allowed to get away with unacceptable behavior & the grandparents had had enough and/or were handling the situation the only way they knew how. I would bet money granpa would've slapped an adult as well

 

[DebbieB]

Sounds like she got was she deserved. It's ridiculous for a child to act that way in public. I was in a line at Big Lots a few months ago and a teenage girl was giving her dad lip. I was wishing her dad would take her by the arm out of the store.

 

[ToddyLu]

I think it was justified. I am a believer in the old addage that "I was spanked and turned out OK". As for doing it in a public manner. Grandpa should have snatched her up and taken her to the room. My Mamma was wonderful, caring and loving, she slapped me in the face one time and one time only. I had it coming, but we were at home alone, not for others to see my punishment. So to me it wasn't in the slapping, but doing it in public.

My brother and SIL have 5 children from ages 16-2. My Mama reported that the 3 year old called my brother "mean" to his face after she acted up and was punished. He would not let her have ice cream after she pitched a fit in the ice cream store. She got her first real spanking then. He told her she was not ever going to talk to him like that after all he did for them. They were on a vacation at the time. I hope it imprinted on her becasue she is turning out to be more defiant (although precious and beautiful) than her other siblings. Of course this behavior is seen as coming from my SIL's side of the family.

I was never allowed to disrespect an adult and neither was my brother. We knew it was the rule and any punishment would have been fair since we knew our boundaries and crossed them.

 

[BigEeyore]

I always try not to judge anyone based on just witnessing a few minutes of their lives but...
I don't agree with either ignoring your children OR hitting your children - the child's behavior is probably no fault of her own. It sounds like the parents haven't been bothered to do the hard work involved in raising a well-behaved kid. She probably doesn't know what is expected of her because her parents have never properly disciplined the kid. I couldn't imagine if my dad or my father-in-law hit my daughter - I would explode! NOBODY hits my kid!
Gotta love WDW - society's trainwrecks on display for the general public!

 

[twinklebug]

The girl was relentlessly badgering her parents, which than turned into down-right nastiness. This went on for about 3 or 4 minutes, the parents were ignoring her and appeared to not want to engage her. When she became completely disrespectful, the people around started to look at each in disbelief.

While I'm a strong believer in the power of silence, it sounds to me like the parents let the child get away with too much. Shame on them.

At this point the grandmother began to get involved, the girls parents told grandma it wasn't her problem. By now grandpa had a look on his face. Before grandma could say another thing, the girl started back-talking her grandma. As soon as the first disrespectful comment was hurled at grandma, grandpa got up and slapped her in the mouth!!! He said something to the affect of "you are not speaking to my wife like that!", as he did the parents looked mortified.

The grandmother getting involved should have been the final cue to mom and dad that it had gone too far. Instead of reprimanding the grandmother, which sounds like it encouraged the child to become rude(r) toward her, the parents should have said something to the effect of "I'll take care of this" and immediately pulled the child aside to a place where they could let her know who's boss and what behavior was expected of her.

The slap was the indicator that all had gone way too far. G'pa simply snapped. It doesn't sound like child abuse at all, but rather the signal the girl needed that she can't disrespect the grandparents. Although, I think the parents are the ones who needed the slap. (Note: I have never slapped my or any one else's kids other than a quick one on the rear to send the message to a young child that running into a parking lot is bad behavior, but boy ...there have been times I would have loved to LOL)

 

[Granny]

What do you guys think? Let the discussions begin, and don't shoot the messenger.

I really try hard not to judge other people's parenting styles (or lack thereof). I don't think anyone is trying to raise their children to behave badly.

If they were my grandchildren, however, it might be harder to remain neutral. Especially if the kid is smart-mouthing the grandma (my wife)...then I honestly don't know what I'd do other than accidently get on a bus to a different park than the kids.

 

[CarolMN]

I do NOT believe in hitting children. Period. There are many other ways to get a point across.

Couldn't help but think of my special needs niece. Often her behavior could be construed as that of a spoiled brat by those who do not know her or the family. She's not. Without going into all of the details, I will just say that we don't know everything, just what was observed that one time and place. I prefer not to judge.

 

[NewJerseyDVCMembers]

Does anyone else remember "the look"??? All my parents had to do was flash the look my way and I knew to stop everything I was doing!!!

There should be a class on giving "the look"!!!

 

[jarestel]

Grandma & Grandpa should have simply excused themselves if the child's behavior was more than they could handle. Though a child can be intimidated into momentary compliance, ultimately the lesson learned is that problems or disagreements can be solved by bullying and force. And again, bottom line is that the raising of the child is the responsibility of the parents and not the village elders. Sorry Grandpa, you messed up.

IMO, YMMV, etc...

 

[dis-happy]

It's hard to judge a moment in time, particularly at Disney.

However....

it sounds like the problem was solved.

 

[Chuck S]

Interesting topic, but under DVC Board posting guidelines, threads should be related in some way to DVC. This thread doesn't seem to meet that criteria, but instead relates to parenting skills, so I am going to close it.