Lesli's Changing Life at 40 Journal

[toystoryduo]

It sounds like you have a busy weekend ahead of you. I'm glad that you will have some downtime and will be able to enjoy the camper.

Have a wonderful weekend!

 

[goldcupmom]

Your DD19 & my DD17 sound like they are suffering from the same delusion!!
Just not gonna happen!! Sorry girls!!

Hope you had fun camping. And that you got a much needed break from life!!

Have a great rest of the week!

 

[toystoryduo]

How are you doing, Lesli? I hope this finds you and your family doing well!

 

[Lesli54]

Thanks for checking in on my ladies!

Just stopping by quickly to say that I am still here....life has been unbelievably busy. On the plus side, I haven't gained........but I haven't lost either. I will check later to see what the difference is in the last month, maybe a couple tenths of lbs. Considering that I have been drinking more pop than normal, eating more junk than normal, and doing alot of pizza or quick fix, I am pleasantly surprised that I haven't gained 30 lbs.

We managed to get through the house and dejunk, it was amazing. The yard sale we had went well, but if it hadn't rained, I am sure it would have been better. I had hoped to do another before the all town pick up, but I was deep in book mode. Oh well, a little cash and less stuff in the house. This week, I am going to take what is left to various charities (it's now in the garage). Great feeling to be out from under old furniture and stuff that just sits around.

The book.........I think I have "mole eyes". Although DS6 says if I did then I would be blind. This last week, I probably spent 16 hours a day on the book most days. It is coming along quite well and finally all is pulling together, although I would love to have more time to research. We did the reunion yesterday and everyone is really excited about it. I had a couple of layouts put together so that they could see where we are going with this. It definitely got people excited to update their families section. DD21 has been helping me alot which has been great. She also put together a slide show of pictures that we are getting out to everyone with the book. Sounds like we may be getting many more pictures, which I think is a wonderful way to preserve them if so many family members have them. DH's aunt was a bit unsure about how the book is going, but now she has given me new instructions on information I need to find, so I will take that as she is pleased.

Today, I am off to take DD21 back to school and look at bathroom fixtures. We had an emergency so the entire 1/2 bath on the main floor has been gutted. All I needed was another week and I would have had the basement bath done. So now we are down to one bathroom that I think might fall through the floor any day. Always something.

Time to get going. The day is full of things that need to be done. Everyone keep moving and losing.

 

[toystoryduo]

I'm glad to hear that you are doing well, Lesli!

It does sound like you have been super busy. I hope things slow down for you soon.

How's the wedding planning coming along? Is there a venue picked out yet?

I hope you have a wonderful Wednesday!

 

[Lesli54]

Slow down??? I only wish. Actually, I think things are now running at full tilt.

I have tried to devote some time this week to the book, but I haven't had much time for that. Between taking DS6 to swim lessons, going to ball games for him and DD11, and trying to order fixtures for the bathroom, I haven't had much time. At least I have the medicine cabinet ordered. Now for the lights, toilet, sink, towel bars, etc.

Then I had a flooring guy come out and give me options of what we could do. My overall goal is to have the same floor in the kitchen, pantry, back hall and 1/2 bath. Right now they are 4 different floors, but I would like to make it flow better. Of course, we are not ready to rip out the kitchen and update that, so I needed options. After considering those, we decided to..............rip out the kitchen.

Ok, so I have mixed emotions on the situation. Pass the chips please. No wait, I need healthy food. I am thrilled that we will finally have a new kitchen and decent flooring. However, I am terrified over the cost. Although, I know that I can keep that reasonable (for a kitchen, that is), we just were not expecting the added expense yet. Plus DH needs a new car as we are down to one. When it rains it pours.

So DD21 and I went out to price cabinets and appliances last night. Didn't care for the desinger at the first place we stopped, but it gave me an idea of costs and learning about cabinets. I have an appointment with another designer today, but I will need to reschedule, however, I can't wait long. Guess I will be scruntizing everyone's kitchens this weekend. Also, I have to make time to finish that basement bath, since it now looks like we will be without the 1/2 bath even longer. On the plus side, things will all be done, right?

Food as you can imagine has been horrible. Then yesterday, I saw a picture of myself at the reunnion this last weekend. I could have died. It was probably the worst picture I have seen in a long time. I have gained a few lbs, but this looked liked I had gained 50! Now, I am back to trying to make weight loss a priority again. Yes, on top of everything else. Is it possible to do so much at once?

I better get going. Talk to you all later.

 

[Lesli54]

Given the fact that there is a lot of stress going on, I think I managed to make fairly decent choices over the weekend.

I have another possible layout for the kitchen I need to rethink some of the cabinetry as far as number of drawers, how to deal with the corners, and how much counter space I really want. Also, I was hoping for a 6 burner stove and a double oven, but maybe that is not the best setup for this kitchen. However, with the new stoves that do convection, maybe I can compromise. DH and I at least decided on a color. We are going with white, to remind us of the DVC villas. Granted, not all have white cabinets, but we want light and airy and I would rather have my kitchen feeling open and not closed in with a dark color. (Would be different if it were a large kitchen). Doing colored cabinets is out since after time they look dated and I have blue now and hate it, but I think they have been that way since 1950. Also, I would love to have some open areas or glass fronts to break things up. Yes, I actually looked at all the villas to view layouts. Hopefully, I can get in to see another cabinet designer this week.

Yesterday, we went to DH's sisters for a father's day picnic. Aside from the rain it was a nice time. I did manage to go through many of the photos from their father's estate and divy up all that had 4 or more copies of the same, so that we could pass them on to his brothers and sister. At least that is a little more out of my house. Now, I pretty much have to scan everything else (which is a lot) that are mainly single copies and then hand out the CD's. Then I ended up bringing home a box full of pictures from DH's aunt's estate to scan for everyone. Just when you think you narrow down the stuff in your house.

Oh, DD21's wedding has been put back a bit further due to her fiances training schedule. They were hoping he would be done next Oct, but it looks like that won't happen. Which is ok with them and DD21 was hoping initially to wait a bit longer. The only thing is now they will run into getting it done before he is scheduled to go on tour. Pros and cons. At least it does take some of the edge off of her since she is trying to finish her bachelors this year and get into graduate school, so she expects to be very busy with that alone. Guess that means I have more time to lose weight so that I can fit into a very nice dress.

Still navigating the waters with DD19. In the long run, I think we will be fine, but these transitional stages are tough. Then there is DD11, who thinks she is 25 and can ignore her chores and speak in defiance. Oh, the fun is just beginning..........again. My consolation at the time is DS6, who is still at the stage where you grab every moment you can to hold him, read to him, and enjoy the fact that he is not talking back. Yes, I know, my days are numbered here.

The eyes are doing well. I am still noticing improvements in vision which is great. So far, I am pleased with the results. Just waiting for a few things in the distance to become a bit more sharper, but once that happens, I will be really thrilled.

The main thing I have to do is get myself back on track. Weight is up a bit, but TOM is not helping, so I figure that I really am not that far off from where I was when I went on "hiatus". Water has been really off. Of course, now, that we don't have a bathroom on the main floor, it puts a damper on wanting to pick up the water pace, but I will do it as I know I need to get some balance in my life again.

Food today:
Breakfast - 1 fried egg, ham, 1 c 1% milk, 1/2 c grapefruit juice
AM snack - yogurt (if DD19 didn't eat it all)
Lunch - HC fresh start ziti & meat sauce, little salad if I have any
PM snack - fruit
Supper - taco salad

Goals today:
1. water and lots of it
2. taking one step with the various things that need to be done. Maybe even plan a schedule of when I will work on these items over the next week.

Can't say as if I have been exercising, but I have been moving around alot. Even when I am sitting working on the book, I am up and down all the time, so better than I had been in the past.

Also, I am trying to take 15 minutes each day to address something in my office that needs to be dealt with. When we cleaned out for the garage sale and the junk day, some odd things came to my office to deal with later, so slowly, but surely.

I better get going. Lots to do. Everyone have a great day!

 

[Lesli54]

Stress, stress, stress, and more stress! Needless to say, things have been very overwhelming and frustrating. Weight is up 4lbs. Time to get things back under control so that I can make it through all the remodeling.

The 1/2 bath still isn't finished. Hopefully, we can at least get the walls up in the next week so they can be finished. I just need to order the light fixture and pick up a faucet. Other than that, we have everything we need, just waiting on the flooring so that we can finish. Although, that probably will be another 6-8 weeks. We are close to having a layout for the kitchen figured out, but it takes 5 weeks for the cabinetry to be delivered, so I can't have all the flooring laid until then. Looks like the only way for us to gain the necessary space is to take out the wall between the kitchen and dining room. Yes, what started as a bathroom project keeps expanding. Overwhelming? Yes! There have been alot of late nights with planning and since I am acting as the contractor, I am quickly learning all the things that I need to make sure are in order and ready to go once those cabinets arrive. Seems like the process to get there is long, but once here, it should be really quick.

Needless to say, I have not been sleeping well, or even getting plenty of rest. Water has been horrible and there has been plenty of late night eating. Food choices leave much to be desired. I really need to turn this around, because I know that proper nutrition and sleep can really help me stay clearheaded and allow me to get everything done.

As usual, I have tons to do on top of the remodel. There are still the other home improvement projects to finish, bookwork, the family book project, and all the other everyday things. Fortunately, we are done with the sports. DS6 will be done with swimming this week. However, we are about ready to start camps. Then it is back to school. Where did the summer go? The other stressor is that DH is out a car and we are down to 1 vehicle something we haven't had in 13 yrs. Well, DD19 still has hers, but she is usually using it.

Today, is a continuation of my fresh start and journey down to a healthier me. I am quickly finding, that it is not just the weight, but it is also the overall health and mental attitude.

Food for today:
Breakfast - 1 egg omelet w/cheese & mushrooms, strawberries, 1/2 c grapefruit juice, 1 c milk (It was great to have a real breakfast, something that all over the place on.)
AM snack - yogurt
Lunch - 1/2 turkey on 7 grain w/spinach, veggies
PM snack - snack bar
Supper - ?? Probably eat out, so I will choose wisely

Goals today:
1. water
2. make a schedule for tackling the various projects (hopefully reduce stress and still allow things to get done.)
3. No eating after 8:30pm

It feels great to be back here and journaling. Just the first step towards regaining control of the chaos.

Hope that you all have a great day!

 

[Lesli54]

Wednesday went pretty well in terms of food.....at least early on. The AM snack was a mini cornbread muffin, and the PM snack was a few doritos, but I did following the rest of the plan. However, supper was at Subway, so yet another sandwich. By the time we came home...late...I was so tired and instead of going to bed, I ate a bowl of fruit loops. So as much as I did well, I didn't do well. Water was at least up.

Yesterday, I started with a one egg omelet w/mushrooms and cheese, a cup of milk, and strawberries. Lunch was a hotdog and ???. Oh yes, I had a twix bar. DS6 was finished with his swim lessons and I told the kids they could get a treat, but I should have had only a bite of theirs and been done. OH well. Dinner was again, subway on the way back to drop DD21 at school. Plus I had 1 1/2 choc chip cookies from subway. Water was okay. Again, I didn't go to sleep early enough and let DH talk me into pizza rolls late. Really, I should have said no, then maybe he would have changed his mind as well.

I am struggling with him believing that he can't change his ways until he gets out of the food business and me knowing that the small changes at home will make a difference. Couple that with the frustration of getting this kitchen planned and it feels like a recipe for disaster.

Nothing new on the kitchen. Our designer has been swamped with other things this week so was not able to finish our design. I really had no idea that things would take this long just in design. But I keep telling myself that it will be worth it when the kitchen is functional to our needs and we don't spend extra time later wondering why something didn't fit because measurements were wrong. Not that things still can't go wrong.

At least I did take a break from remodeling this week and used the "free" time to catch up on more bookwork. Then of course a computer glitch ghost was creating problems. Fortunately this morning we worked that out with the techies. Now maybe I can accomplish alot of bookwork this weekend.

Not much else going on. Just trying to stay above water, so to speak. Of course the weather is lousy and that is not helping. Is this really July or did we miss spring and summer this year and go straight to fall?

Food today:
Breakfast - 1 egg omelet w/cheese, mushroom & green pepper, 1 c milk, 4 strawberries
AM snack - 1 oatmeal pie (not a good choice, still trying to solve frustration in the wrong way)
Lunch - HC fresh start pasta & meat sauce (w/cheese added).....later some potato chips (trying again to avoid frustration, but instead feeling "weighed" down by a greasy tasting poor choice)
PM snack - 1 oatmeal pie & 8 oz coke (see the above reasons relating to frustration)
Supper - maybe pizza, maybe BLT's, maybe ??? (guess it depends on what is going on).

Goals today:
1. water increase
2. no eating after 8:30pm.....drink herbal tea to end the day
3. change tasks or walk away for a break when I begin to get frustrated with task at hand

It finally, occured to me why I haven't been cooking much at all in the last few months. My oven can't seem to bake anything properly. I baked some baked beans for over an hour and they were still soupy, then lazagna turned out warm and the cheese wasn't melted. It is no wonder why we only make pizza, because my oven seems to make a great very large toaster oven. Of course, the oven is probably 30 years old or more. Fortunately, that will be solved soon. Maybe that will really help alot in terms of getting better meals around here. One can hope.

Gotta go. Talk to you all later.

 

[toystoryduo]

Sending a gentle your way, Lesli. I hope things start looking up for you soon!

 

[pearlieq]

I feel your pain with the renovations. There really is no better way to pull the rug out from under ourselves than to mess with our homes, is there? I totally understand the whirl of "need to pick that", "must order that", "must book them" etc.

I hope the rest of the project goes smoothly and you love your new space.

I hope the car situation gets resolved soon. It amazing how much we get used to having our own car at all times. In the meantime, hopefully you can all work out a plan.

Where did the summer go? It seems like we only got a bit of summer with all the rain and cold and now here it is half over. What camps are the kids doing? Scouting? Park District?

I hope your weekend has been great!

 

[Lesli54]

Thanks for stopping by ladies. It is great to see you again, Pearlieq! "Pulling out the rug" definitely made me laugh and when you think about it, that sure is how it feels.

I guess the kitchen guy had a bad week last week, so I just heard back from him today. The down side....cabinets could have been ordered last week. The upside....I put away all renovation projects and concentrated on other things that I needed to get done.

As for the kitchen, I am not really excited with the new design he came back with and was going to email him on it asking him to try again, but stopped myself. Instead I just let him know we got the plans and would look them over and get back with him. I figured that I need to take a couple of hours today to study what he has and then make the necessary changes. The basic layout is there at least and I know that I still have room for adding shallow cabinets along a blank wall, then it will be similar to what I came up with last week. Some of the cabinets that he put in, I don't want, but I think we can easily change that out. Basically, we like working with this guy and love the quality of the cabinets, so I think the only true hold up is me. I have been working hard to come to terms with not having the kitchen I originally planned...just not enough room, so I just really need to work with what I have and give the designer alot of definite decisions. Then I think we will have a kitchen that will work with the house and will address all our needs. At least I am hoping that it is that smooth.

Food has not been perfect, but I am not eating as much late night and even though I am still snacking on some things that aren't so great, they are more portioned than they were. Water is definitely up, but still needs some work. Basically, I am still struggling, but trying hard not to over do anything.

I did manage to get alot of bookwork done. On of computer programs has another ghost running around again, but I have to wait until next week to fix that since the tech that fixed it before is on vacation. You just have to love the frustration. So I am catching up what I can. Also, I am taking a few minutes each day to address a spot in my office that needs clearing. Slowly, but surely.

No DH still doesn't have a car and we are making do, but it does take some planning on some days.

Not much else going on. DH and DS6 are off to scout camp this week. It's a day camp, but DS6 was so excited to be old enough for camp. DD11 will be gone next week for scout camp. Then it seems that school starts up.

Today's food:
Breakfast - 1 egg fried, 1 c milk, 1 c grapefruit juice, 4 strawberries
AM snack - chips (not tons but poor choice)
Lunch - 1/2 turkey sandwich, carrots
PM snack - yogurt
Supper - taco salad

Today's goals:
1. water, water, water
2. kitchen design - 90% nailed down would be good
3. talk a walk

Better get going. Everyone have a great day!

 

[Lesli54]

Yesterday was pretty good.

Food was as planned, other than for lunch I accidentally made a whole sandwich. My mind was elsewhere. Supper was just over 1/2 a pizza and was almost 9:30, with a sm can of coke. Not good. I really wasn't hungry most of the day and a few times instead of getting a real meal, I grabbed a handful of goldfish or ate a spoon of PB. Not that it was much, but it was obviously enough to throw off my plan. Then the rest of the family was in and out, so it was fend for yourself.

Water was up quite a bit, but I don't know for sure how much. Today I will keep better track. Didn't work on the kitchen, just not clearheaded enough to think in terms of work with what I got. Didn't get out for my walk, which would have helped alot. However, I got tons of bookwork done.

DS6 loved camp! DH however was exhausted. We will see how today goes.

Food today:
Breakfast - 7 grain toast w/pb & j, 1 c milk, 1 c grapefruit juice
AM snack - banana
Lunch - LC dinner
PM snack - yogurt
Supper - taco salad that I didn't make last night

Goals today:
1. 80 oz water
2. 15 min walk
3. no eating after 8:30pm

So far the day is going well. I did look at the kitchen plans again and have sent off my changes to the designer. Also, asked what the dimensions are for the island and walkways. Later, I will set up a "mock kitchen" (to some degree of course) so that I can get a better feel as to how things will work for us, we just don't have room for error. Definitely taking yesterday to regroup on the design helped. It is so hard sometimes to see what things would be like without a wall and I might end up losing some built in corner cabinets in the dining area that I love which plays into the "should we or shouldn't we" scenario. It is going to take alot to just make a decision and not look back.

Lots to do today, so I am off. Everyone have a wonderful day!

 

[toystoryduo]

Sending lots of to help with your renovations. I bet once all is said and done your kitchen will be absolutely beautiful and you will love it!

I hope you have a wonderful day ahead!

 

[Lesli54]

Yesterday was really a great day. Best I have had in terms of goals in along time. Food was as planned except I had about 10 chips instead of the yogurt. Water was really up and had to be close to 80 (lost track). I didn't eat after 8:30 even though DH had cooked his dinner late. Smelled good, but I wasn't tempted so I just stayed out of the kitchen. The only thing I didn't get in was my walk, but this is so much progress compared to the last couple months, so I will take what I can get.

I did manage to get a ton of bookwork done and have been really gaining ground today. Then I can put that into my daily routine better. Not to mention the weight it is taking off my shoulders to be on track.

Food today:
Breakfast - 1 egg, 1 slice 7 grain toast w/ jelly, 1 c grapefruit juice
AM snack - banana
Lunch - taco salad, tostito chips
PM snack - apple nutri grain bar
Supper - ???

Goals today:
1. 80 oz water (I am at 32oz+ so far)
2. no eating after 8:30pm

I didn't hear back from the kitchen guy. It is really starting to get to me how long this is taking to plan. I really wanted to have a plan and order in a couple of weeks ago. Other than the fact that we changed the original plan to remove a wall, I still want all the same things in my kitchen that I wanted originally (the needs). And really, we did make the decision to enlarge the kitchen early on in the process (after I quickly realized what would or wouldn't fit), plus we have already chosen the line of cabinets, so it seems like it shouldn't take this long. If you figure 5 weeks once the order is placed for them to come in, then we are talking the end of Aug. I was really hoping before school started......well that was when I began which was 5 weeks ago.

Just trying to remind myself not to get frustrated and go backwards in the weight loss. Right now, I am almost about to completely forget about the whole thing, buy a new stove and deal with what we have.

Hope you all have a great day.

 

[toystoryduo]

Great job yesterday, Lesli! Keep up the good work!

I remember doing our kitchen renovations about 10 years ago. It seemed like it took forever! I was glad when it was all said and done though. So was my DH since he was doing most of the work. Sending some your way. I hope the kitchen designer gets back to you soon.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend, Lesli!

 

[Lesli54]

Another productive day yesterday. It is amazing how much bookwork I managed to finish. Food was on track until late. I didn't have supper when I should have and everyone was everywhere but here so another fend for yourself. First I started with a spoon of pb. Then later, I threw a pizza in and ate 1/2 along with a wine cooler, probably close to 9pm. Water was around 80 oz. So not a bad day.

Still no word from the kitchen designer and I am ready to call it quits. DH wants me to schedule an appointment for next week, but I am feeling like the guy doesn't really want the job. Wouldn't you at least acknowledge the questions about measurements and get back to the customer even if you haven't finished making the changes asked for? The problem is that DH really likes the cabinets and short of going to Chicago, this guy is probably the only person in the area that carries them. Frustration has really set in.

Then of course there are so many things that I still need to get done around here. Still there is very little help from anyone. DD19 works for a few hours a day then watches tv or maybe goes out. No interaction and definitely nothing that would constitute helping out around here. Sleep is horrible. I have one day to find DD11 everything that she needs for camp. DS6 has a closing ceremony for scout camp today and with only one car, I won't be able to attend since it is not here in town. At least DH is there. It just seems as if the walls are closing in.

I need a vacation so bad. The summer is almost gone and we haven't done one thing that we planned to do for day trips or even around the house. Oh well.

Todays food:
Breakfast - 1 egg, 1 c milk, 1 c grapefruit juice, 1/2 slices 7 grain toast w/jelly
AM snack - 1 spoon pb
Lunch - pizza (the kids made some new ones they were trying and it smelled so good)
PM snack - ???
Supper - ???

Today's goals:
1. 80 oz water

Off to take a short nap. Maybe that will help put things in perspective.

 

[toystoryduo]

Lesli,

It sounds like you have a lot going on right now. I hope everything works out for you. Sending some for your kitchen. I hope the designer calls back soon!

Please try and take some time just for you this weekend, okay?

I hope you have a great weekend!

 

[Lesli54]

Well, I am in better spirits. Friday when things were weighing in I went and took a nap. The plus side is that I didn't eat trying to get energy when what I needed was rest. Also, I felt less frazzled. Then went to my computer to find that the kitchen desinger had answered my questions and made updates to the design. Guess all I needed was a nap.......should have done it earlier in the week.

Throughout the weekend and yesterday, I have been working with the desinger to make changes and we are almost there. I need to call him in a few to verify some dimensions on drawers. It is a bit difficult to figure where to store some things. However, the plan is to make the final changes today and just go with it.....otherwise I could be making changes forever. Thankfully, we are actually this close to finishing the design. Then on to step two with coloring of countertops, floors, walls, lighting, etc....

DS6 enjoyed camping with the Boy Scouts. Bible school ended last week. DD22 just had her birthday...hard to believe. Took DD11 to Girl Scout camp, a little more quiet around here. DD19 is working most days, but driving me nuts with the lack of some help around here.

Food for the weekend was so so. Some good days and some days with poor choices. Water has been about the same way. I had actually lost a little, but then we went to see Harry Potter on Saturday and I ate way too much popcorn. I had a little supper afterwards, but wished that I hadn't since I then felt too full. I just love movie popcorn, so next time, it's either a smaller popcorn and meal OR just the popcorn and no meal. It doesn't happen often so either choice would probably be fine. Anyways, we enjoyed the movie.

Bookwork is still going well and I can actually see a large part of my desk. Now to keep on top of it and everything else.

The walls are up in the bathroom, so now it's time to mud. Our carpenter said we can definitely take down the entire wall between the kitchen and dining room to make the kitchen larger. I was really hoping that we wouldn't have to deal with a partion of some sort. However, I would love to figure out a way to make the dining area look a little seperate maybe with a decorative column close to the walls. My dining is hardwood flooring but the kitchen will be something diffierent so it would be nice to add element that would make the transition between the floors make more sense.

Great news! We found another car yesterday so we are back to being a two (working) car family again. Now to junk the two that don't work. That is another weight lifted and off our minds.

Food today:
Breakfast - 1 fried egg, 1 slice 7 grain toast w/jelly, 1/2 c grapefruit juice
AM snack - missed
Lunch - brat on bun, few chips
PM snack - nuts & yogurt
Supper - ???

Goals today:
1. 80 oz water
2. finish the kitchen design
3. work on the family book

Better get going. I am taking full advantage of the improved mood.

 

[toystoryduo]

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better and that progress is being made on the kitchen.

Hope you have a great day ahead!