Leaving Baby with Grandma? Anyone Done it?

[SnowWhite12]

Don't feel guilty! We went on a cruise last month, and left our 4 1/2 year old DD, and 5 month old DS at our house with mom-in-law. (of course I worried a lot, but for no reason--my parents were also in town). We would leave the then to be 10 mth old DS at home for our trip to WDW this April, but have no volunteers to keep him this time. I don't mind taking him, but DH doesn't relish the thought b/c it will be so much trouble. DD didn't go for first time until she was 2 yrs. So either way, don't let anyone make you feel bad or guilty.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I wouldn't leave the baby. I know you want to spend one on one time with the older kids but I don't think a separate vacation is the right way to do it. The older kids have to make compromises? Well that is part of being in a family. If only one parent can make it to school events etc. well that happens even if there aren't siblings. Many times both parents cannot come to the event etc. because they have to work. In your case since you have the grandparents to help you out why not ask them to babysit in the times where you can't bring the baby to school events? I would not leave a child home from a family vacation even if it is a reward. I think doing it the way that you have presented is wrong. Having a sibling is not a trauma to all children. You can ask mine and they are beyond excited about having a new brother or sister every single time. They look foward to showing Disney to them too. We still do things with each child alone. We might take one out for "date night" and go for hot chocolate etc. I think a trip is a huge reward and I wouldn't leave someone home.
I know the kids have been through a lot but I agree with the poster who said that having a sibling is not something that they have "endured." If it were me I would be encouraging us to all be together as a family to enjoy the treat of a trip. YMMV.

 

[growinupdisney]

We took our DD2 when she was 8 months and my my other two children were 14 and 11. I never once considered leaving her behind. I know that others can do that and that is great for them I just could't. I can see how it would be easier, I guess its just a personal and family choice! My youngest is very compatible she has had to be with older siblings. I have to take them to practices, school events, pick up from school etc. that have interupted her naps, thats part of it. She has learned to adjust. We stayed late at the parks(not past 10pm 0r 11pm but that was because we could hang not the kids) our dd would sleep during the fireworks or whenever she needed to it was never a problem. She rode everything that didn't have height restriction. I have to say the pictures we have of her are pricless! I also as well as my DH enjoy WDW w/ her more than we used to. It has helped us slow down a little while we are there, when I nursed her or she was sleeping, one of us would sit on a bench and relax. I had a side sling to help hold her when we walked around the parks and she would fall asleep right on me and I would ride rides with her sleeping on me. It aslo kept my hands free.

 

[Missyma919]

Well I think people have really strong views on this one way or the other so you will get mixed answers. My sister in law and I are are at very different ends.

We have left our baby at home when he was 9 months and took our older daughters who were 7 and 5 at the time to WDW. We left him with grandma this year to take the girls to Las Vegas. In Sept we will take him with us to WDW, he will be almost 3 and we will leave our new baby girl at home. Really babies may like WDW but certainly will have a better time at home with gramdma who loves and dotes on them. There is the heat that is a huge factor for us, not a good ida to keep a baby out in that all day. Anyway its a personal decision and each to his own. For us we like enjoying our vacations to the best of our ability and allowing the older kids time to enjoy mom and dad. There will be a day when the older girls are away to college and we leave them home and take the other two. There will be plenty of trips in between where we take all 4 kiddos. Good Luck and no need to feel guilty, do what is best for your situation!!

 

[growinupdisney]

 

[kristinw3girls]

I did it years ago. We traveledin 2002 and I was still worried about airline safety. What I most want to tell you is that it's OK to leave the little one home. DD was happier with Nana and the older girls were able to run the park from open to close every day. We took our first total family trip when DD was finally 5. It just worked better for us, and everyone was happier!

 

[Disney_Tall_Mommy]

Ok we only have one child, but since she was born my husband and I have gone on vacation by ourselves once a year and leave her with my parents. My parents enjoy the time with her and she has fun with them. However, we also take her on vacations to Disneyworld and out of state trips to visit family.
Every family is different though. Because of our crazy work schedules, my husband and I don't get to spend much time together alone. Plus my daughter only goes to Daycare until noon so it's not like we don't get to see her during the day. I think in cases where both parents work until the evening and the kids are in daycare all day may feel more guilty about not taking their kids on vacation with them. JMO

 

[Jiminy'sGirl]

Ok we only have one child, but since she was born my husband and I have gone on vacation by ourselves once a year and leave her with my parents. My parents enjoy the time with her and she has fun with them. However, we also take her on vacations to Disneyworld and out of state trips to visit family.
Every family is different though. Because of our crazy work schedules, my husband and I don't get to spend much time together alone. Plus my daughter only goes to Daycare until noon so it's not like we don't get to see her during the day. I think in cases where both parents work until the evening and the kids are in daycare all day may feel more guilty about not taking their kids on vacation with them. JMO

DH and I have taken two big vacations with just the two of us since the kids have been born... It is a good point you make because I do not feel guilty doing that at all... We need that time as a couple and the kids and Grandma and grandpa LOVE IT! I do begin to miss the kids like crazy by the 3rd day though, and by day 5 or so all I want to do is go home.

Not sure about the daycare thing, as I have been a stay at home mom for years, but I don't think Mommy guilt is something only working Moms feel. We all do it to ourselves and most of the time it is completely unnecessary.

I have definitely decided to go ahead with the trip as planned. Baby will be happy with my parents, who can't wait to spend time with her since we moved away while she was only 3 months old, and the big kids will be able to run the parks however they choose!

 

[mom-2greatkids]

We did it not once but twice. The first time DS was 4 months and the second time he was 16 months (we go to every January because DH has a conference). Although it was tough to leave him, both DH and I agreed that he would have a much better time being spoiled by his grandparents than by riding around in a stroller all week. Both times he had a great time staying at Grandma's, and although he was excited to see us, he wasn't ready to go home.

Besides, the weather is iffy in January and we are at the parks from rope drop until they kick us out at night. That would have been tough with a baby. Instead we were able to focus on DD, who was age 3 and 4 on those trips. DS went on his first Disney vacation when he was 2.

 

[cbrob]

I too say leave the baby with G+G
The baby will be much happier not being out in the hot busy park all day...in a stroller or in arms.
I know I wouldn't want to be the one back at the hotel with a napping baby while my kids and DH were off having all kinds of fun....I would want to share that with them.
We have left behind one or both kids before on holiday or day and overnight trips.
Their time with granparents is just as special to both them and your parents.

 

[dianne1974]

The first time we went to Disney, my littlest was barely 2 months old. We had made the decision that it would be best for her to stay with my parents. I cried when I left her I cried when I talked to my mom and I cried when I picked her up. Would I do it again, absolutely! The memories that were made with my 9 and 7 year old were priceless. Baby girl would have been exhausted and I think I would have too. I would have missed so much of the other 2s first trip.
We went back to Disney the following April, Baby girl came with us this time and i am so glad that we waited. The wonderment and excitement of her seeing all the sites was priceless.

Hope you guys have an awesome time, don't feel guilty.

 

[wendy774]

We left our 7 month old with our parents when we took our then 4 yo ds on vacay with us. It was a little hard leaving her but once we did it we did not regret it. This vacay is for the older kids and if you have parents that will watch your baby do it. Not everyone is as lucky as us to have a dependable babysitter to leave their baby with. It's not like the baby will remember but your older kids will!

 

[njmeisje]

I couldn't imagine leaving one of our kids out of any vacation we would do. It's our FAMILY. We're all going OR we're waiting until everyone is ready to go. The baby may not remember she wasn't there....but everybody else will. Seems sad to me. JMHO.

Diane

 

[PEANUT1]

I wouldn't do it. I have left both children for a vacation with just my husband and myself for our anniversary but I could not leave one child home.

We were just in disney a few weeks ago and my 3 year old had a tummy bug and stayed back at the hotel one day with my MIL while we took our 6 year old to the MK...I felt so guilty leaving her and that was just for the day ( and she slept the whole day and didn't even ask for us)

My friend did it...she took her 10 and 7 year old and left her 9 month old with grandmom...she said the older girls loved having mommy and daddy all to themselves..This is a personal decision..and one you will have to decide..it won't make you a bad mom to leave the baby.

 

[MSMomTJ]

DH and I have taken two big vacations with just the two of us since the kids have been born... It is a good point you make because I do not feel guilty doing that at all... We need that time as a couple and the kids and Grandma and grandpa LOVE IT! I do begin to miss the kids like crazy by the 3rd day though, and by day 5 or so all I want to do is go home.

Not sure about the daycare thing, as I have been a stay at home mom for years, but I don't think Mommy guilt is something only working Moms feel. We all do it to ourselves and most of the time it is completely unnecessary.

I have definitely decided to go ahead with the trip as planned. Baby will be happy with my parents, who can't wait to spend time with her since we moved away while she was only 3 months old, and the big kids will be able to run the parks however they choose!

I'm glad you decided to go with just taking your older kids! I do things with my kids individually, and they love being my one and only focus. Granted, it's not like going to Disney World without the other, but it's the same principle. I know that after my dd was born, I missed being able to give my ds as much of my undivided attention as I had before. He was all over his little sister, but he still needed and wanted 1-on-1 time with his parents. I recently took ds (8) on a 5 day trip (his first plane ride and first amusement park visit) while dd (2) stayed at home with Daddy, and everyone involved did great. In the future, dd will get to go "big" places just me, her daddy, or both of us. With them at this age, I wouldn't take one to WDW without the other, but I would have when dd was a baby.

As for momma-guilt, my friends who are stay-at-home moms have worse guilt about leaving their kids than most of my working-mom friends. Not sure why -- that's just been my experience.

It's all about what works for your family, and neither side of the issue is exclusively right or wrong!

 

[Zeebs]

Heck if I could find someone to look after all of them I would be off.

You have to do what is right for your family and it sounds like you have made up your mind.

Parenting is hard thing, there is always something to feel guilty about and when we aren't feeling guilty we come on Dis and ask a question that will inevitably make us feel guilty about something.

You are very lucky to be in a position where your children have grandparents around to watch them. My parents are a 24 hour flight away and hubbys a 5 hour drive. I can't tell you the last time hubby and I had a night out just the two of us.

Enjoy your time with your older kids, and remember when they have left home and gone to college you can do a make up trip for the "baby"

Kirsten

 

[klacey1]

I think you made the right decision, OP! That's definitely what I would do, and I have friends who've gone to Disney with their 3 year old and left their 5 month old. The plane ride was a little rough for the mom, she told me, but after that, they concentrated on having fun with their daughter! They have no regrets.

 

[Hedy]

FWIW, I've been among the grandparents (well, as an aunt, obvs, but my parents were the grandparents) watching "the baby" when the others were at WDW. WE watched ElderNephew, then almost3, when his parents went down before, and we watched YoungerNephew when he was 2 and ElderNephew went down with his parents and aunt and uncle. All parties involved turned out fine-I see nothing wrong with it.