learned the meaning of "appreciation" today..

[dana1003]

we went to a local pow pow today w/my kids and my folks..we're sitting down on the grass watching the dancers and this homeless looking guy sits a few feet away from us.( handle bar moustache, beard, glasses..looks like he hasnt showered.) he proceeds to call me my name, i turn around and he says remember me, so and so, we used to work together. ? my jaw dropped. if you would have seen this guy back then, not in a million years would you have believed it was the same person. the nicest guy in the world. he starts to tell me he's been in and out of rehab and that he has no contact w/ his mom or twin brother. in that moment i realized how lucky and appreciative i am that i have family who loves and supports me but also that here i am anticipating the whole trip, counting the days, checking out the forums..etc and he will never know that anticipation.he will not feel the excitement of going anywhere like that. i dont even know if he has a roof over his head. i gave him hug goodbye and told him i widhed everything worked out for the best. my parents were looking at me "like who the hell is that"? i wasnt afraid of him and i didnt judge him . i felt sorry for him.ANYWAY- what im trying to say is that planning these vacations is fun and we count down the days but in reality its not important. so, dont plan every second, dont get mad if a certain ride isnt working. just be happy that your with someone who loves you.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

What a wonderful post.

 

[mommytobug]

Thank you sharing and i am sure he thanks you for caring. What a nice place this world would be if we all "hugged" each other more often.

 

[teresajoy]

Thanks for the reminder!

 

[ZPT1022]

The saddest part for me is that there's a very good chance that's the first hug he's had in a while

 

[dana1003]

i know...i feel like i should of done more..i told my husband about it and was like "what can we do -people have to help themselves also"-i guess thats true. we struggle also month to month so i guess theres not a whole lot i could of done for him..something weird happened when we got home. now im not religious or anything but there was a pile of childrens books( about 30) on my doorstep. i asked my family and neighbors and no one put them there..still a mystery.

 

[ZPT1022]

I'm not sure what else you could have done. In a way I think that just treating him with dignity and like a normal person was probably one of the nicest things you could have done. It may have been a while since that has happened. I might have been inclined to have fed him (I grew up with Italians ), but then again, it may have been just as nice for him to have the company and have someone talk to him like an equal instead of treating him like a charity case, or worse I definitely wouldn't have given him money, and the temptation to go use it on drugs or alcohol, but if you were to run into him again, and he truly is homeless, he'd probably appreciate a sandwich or something. Personally, I'd be tempted to bring him home, let him shower, wash his clothes for him and stuff him full of good hot food, but I think I get that from my Dad who was constantly dragging home strays, both human and animals.

 

[dana1003]

I'm not sure what else you could have done. In a way I think that just treating him with dignity and like a normal person was probably one of the nicest things you could have done. It may have been a while since that has happened. I might have been inclined to have fed him (I grew up with Italians ), but then again, it may have been just as nice for him to have the company and have someone talk to him like an equal instead of treating him like a charity case, or worse I definitely wouldn't have given him money, and the temptation to go use it on drugs or alcohol, but if you were to run into him again, and he truly is homeless, he'd probably appreciate a sandwich or something. Personally, I'd be tempted to bring him home, let him shower, wash his clothes for him and stuff him full of good hot food, but I think I get that from my Dad who was constantly dragging home strays, both human and animals.

i thought about that but my we have 2 young girls and as bad as i felt for him the safety of my girls is more important..not that im sayinghe would of done anything but this day and age you never know.

 

[ZPT1022]

i thought about that but my we have 2 young girls and as bad as i felt for him the safety of my girls is more important..not that im sayinghe would of done anything but this day and age you never know.

I have three kids so I get where you're coming from- I think it's what keeps me grounded from adopting everything that crosses my path.

 

[TheDizMom]

You are very right. People tend to forget how much they have, how lucky they are and get caught up in the little things. Looking at the OP's I saw one who lost her twins, I lost a baby too, and I can guarantee you it makes you never take things for granted again. My husband says if you are alive, healthy, have a roof over your head and food in your stomach life is pretty darn good. Not everyone has this as your encounter reminds us. The fact that you acknowledged him, didn't belittle him, or shrink away from the way he now looks, but instead hugged him in spite of it, means you did do something. You treated him like a human being, something a lot of people would not have, and I would be willing to bet that meant more to him then anything else you could have done. You didn't treat him like a pariah, or that his problems would rub off on you if you went anywhere near him. From the sounds of things I don't think he was really looking for you to help him, only to remember him and talk to him. You may feel like you should have done more, but you should be proud that you did what you could.

 

[brymolmom]

I have a brother who has a very bad addiction problem (yes - he has been this homeless person off and on over the years) - has for many, many years. Don't forget that his mother and twin brother might be showing their love to the best of their ability by exactly what they're doing - shutting him out until he helps himself. I've been through the cycle so many times - it is usually the case that a person needs to hit 'rock bottom' for them to actually do what they need to do to turn it around. Tough love is one way for a person to help their loved ones reach rock bottom. Now, I don't know what this guy's issues/problems with family are, and I agree - having loved ones is EVERYTHING, but his loved ones might be loving them the best they can right now.

Oh and if this is a similar problem to his - taking him into your house and giving him food and/or shelter wouldn't really help him (for the moment maybe but not in the long run). He needs to stand on his own two feet to get the esteem needed to pull himself out of it.

 

[dana1003]

I have a brother who has a very bad addiction problem (yes - he has been this homeless person off and on over the years) - has for many, many years. Don't forget that his mother and twin brother might be showing their love to the best of their ability by exactly what they're doing - shutting him out until he helps himself. I've been through the cycle so many times - it is usually the case that a person needs to hit 'rock bottom' for them to actually do what they need to do to turn it around. Tough love is one way for a person to help their loved ones reach rock bottom. Now, I don't know what this guy's issues/problems with family are, and I agree - having loved ones is EVERYTHING, but his loved ones might be loving them the best they can right now.

Oh and if this is a similar problem to his - taking him into your house and giving him food and/or shelter wouldn't really help him (for the moment maybe but not in the long run). He needs to stand on his own two feet to get the esteem needed to pull himself out of it.

YOUR RIGHT.i had someone else tell me the same thing. hope he can do it.

 

[Kim1964]

Thanks for posting this. I've been feeling pretty miserable for the past few days because I've realized that we can't afford a trip to Disney next year. Your post reminds me that if my biggest problem is not being able to go to Disney EVERY year, then I am doing OK.