Latest update on DH's cancer treatment

[always quiet]

We went in to see the doctor this morning. The original plan was for next Monday, he would have surgery to remove the tonsil and part of the palate and remove the node. Sounds simple, huh? WRONG! The doctor starts throwing 'options' at us (and believe me, "throwing" is the only word to use for this!) First up, surgery next week.............BUT to remove the tonsil and palate, he will need to CUT through Dennis' chin and split the jaw!! Then he would remove the tonsil and palate. He would then reconstruct the palate, need to insert steel into his jaw and chin, then remove the node. Dennis would also need a new upper plate because there still would be a hole in the roof of his mouth where reconstruction wouldn't be an option. You can imagine our reaction to all this!!!! We started to question the doctor on other options (which he really didn't seem to like..........in fact, once we questioned him - and ok, I was sort of upset at this moment -) he told Dennis that he wasn't going to operate because if something happened, he didn't want to have to "deal with your wife"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The NEW game plan is to go to Penn's radiation center, located out of a different, closer hospital and treat Dennis with chemo/radiation first, then whatever is left behind, surgery would be a later option.

I really wish doctors would realize that they can throw all these medical facts and procedures out there all they want, but they need to remember, there are human being receiving this news and they should show compasssion. All those words to me just equaled "I'm going to cut your husbands face open, do you mind??"

 

[kimwim8]

Ugh, I'm so sorry you had to deal with a jerk doctor like that. My first reaction was - HOLD ON and get a second opinion! I'm glad that you are going to try the Radiation route first. Then if he still needs surgery, it hopefully won't be as involved (sorry, couldn't think of a better word).

I'll be praying for you and your husband.

 

[cassi06403]

My initial reaction was to find a doctor that will treat you as people, not just another "patient".

That is awful, I'm so sorry you had to experience that! Maybe the doctor was having a bad day, still it's too bad he took it out on the two of you...

Best of luck with your husband's treatment, you are in my thoughts.

--Cassi

 

[Serena]

Um, I don't know your doctor, but I sure don't like him already. Is finding a more people friendly doctor an option?

btw, he continues to be in my prayers.

 

[Trish5768]

You definately need a second opinion and hopefully you can find a Dr. that you are totally comfortable with. Liking you Dr. is such a plus in this kind of situation. I will be praying for you and your family.

Trish

 

[Pooh67_68]

Originally posted by always quiet
We started to question the doctor on other options (which he really didn't seem to like..........in fact, once we questioned him - and ok, I was sort of upset at this moment -) he told Dennis that he wasn't going to operate because if something happened, he didn't want to have to "deal with your wife"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Very unprofessional of the doctor and I would be getting a second opinion.

 

[jx3smom]

All I can say is that I will continue to pray for you and your family.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by Serena
Um, I don't know your doctor, but I sure don't like him already. Is finding a more people friendly doctor an option?

btw, he continues to be in my prayers.

I was thinking the same thing. Can you get someone else?

to your family. Keep us posted.

 

[crazyforgoofy]

A second opinion and even a third is important when you're considering treatment of this nature. I'm sorry this doc behaved the way he did.

 

[CEDmom]

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I do agree with others here who suggest a 2nd opinion. Most doctors would recommend one in a situation like this.

 

[Keli]

Definitely a good idea when you got a second opinion. That first dr didn't handle that situation well at all and you weren't wrong to refuse to proceed until you had a clear understanding of what he wanted to do and what he believed your dh's prognosis was. I'm sorry your dh, you and your children are going through this and I hope that it is all taken care of soon and your dh regains his health quickly.

 

[mrsmom]

Get a second and third opinion!! I did before i had my dd second palete surgery and my dd had a u shaped hole in her soft palete that has been repaired twice !!! My prayers are with you and your dh and family.
Kim

 

[luvmarypoppins]

I am so sorry that dh, you and family have to go through this. Tons of prayers and pixie dust and lots of . Our friend, and the ds principal had to go through this too. The dr. who operated on him was a second opinion too as he first consulted someone who did original surgery on him. The 2nd dr. told him she didnt even know what would happen, never had a case like his etc. He ended up having the surgery first, then the radiation and chemo. He had to get all the metal (i.e fillings etc. taken out of his mouth and all teeth capped first before radiation as that would interfere with it. The surgery was almost the same as you are describing. They ended up cutting his jaw etc. This time they had to cut his whole tongue out, they made him a new tongue with muscle from his arm and took a piece of his butt muscle to replace in the arm. I am not trying to upset you, just wanted to share that this man is walking around and doing great as a principal of a small christian school and ptl! He does look a little thin, needs some ensure etc. We are all behind you. It sounds like you are a great advocate for your dh, if your ins. pays for it look elsewhere, is fox chase close to you. I hear good things about that place. Blessings to you and your family.

 

[DoeWDW]

So sorry for your bad experience but good for you for sticking up for DH!!! Understanding the treatment plans and options is vitally important!

I'll keep DH and your family in my prayers, hoping for God to lead you to a wonderful doctor!

 

[Cthia]

Sorry you and your husband are having to go thru this. I can't believe the doctor would throw all that at you and not even recommend another option to you. Thank goodness you are going for the second opinion. Know there are other options out there before you have to have major surgery.

You and your family will be in my prayers.

 

[DisneyMim]

Having been through cancer with my husband during this past year I hear ya!! Please, run don't walk to another doctor for a second opinion, and a third and fourth if need be. As I yelled to one of my husband's doctors "He's just a patient to you but he is my life". Don't let them talk you into something too fast. Unless this is a really fast moving cancer and couple of weeks will not make a difference and believe me, you will be much better able to handle things if you take your time and know exactly what you're getting into. I don't mean to sound off hear and I know you don't need any more advise, but I've been there and I know that sometimes doctors are not real sympathic to their patients. Take some time if you can and find out all you can. God Bless.

 

[padams]

I hope you can find a compassionate doctor. Many prayers for you, your DH, and your family.

 

[Shelle&Dave]

It is very sad how many doctors have this same kind of attitude. I work in a hospital and have to deal with some like that every day.

Not all doctors are like that one and if you look around I am sure you will find one that will be a more compassionate. I recently switched to a different family doctor because the one I was seeing always seemed rushed and didn't want to take the time to listen to me. I know most days she is double or even triple booked and I didn't feel like I was getting good care. It seemed like she just wanted to write out some prescriptions and send me on my way. The doctor I have now is wonderful. I am so glad I switched.

A second opinion is definately needed. You need to find a doctor that will sit down with you and explain the different options you and your husband have for treatment. I know many cancer doctors that encourage you to seek second and third opinions because they may see something or think of something that the first doctor didn't see.

Good luck.

 

[Dan Murphy]

I sure would move on, Colleen, to another doctor if possible, if only for another opinion.viewpoint, and maybe for all services. Sure does not sound like a winner there. I have told you of the compasion/concern Marie's surgeon has, and that, to both of us, is a BIG part of the total package of care. Move on.

Continued best and prayers, Colleen, for Dennis and all of you. 's

 

[always quiet]

We have an appointment with a new hospital, a new radiation oncologist, on Monday the 13th. I told them briefly what we experienced yesterday and they assured me that this would never happen to us there. They even made sure that I would be with Dennis on Monday so the doctor could explain to both of us what would happen, give us the chance to ask any questions and we would discuss treatment options. They even said that they have coffee and donuts to make people as "comfortable as possible". This office sounded so much nicer and much more compassionate.

I'll keep you guys updated after we get home. Final word, the first surgeon is getting no where close to my husband with a scapel in his hand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!