Large Families - how do you cope with college expenses?

[runwad]

We have 3 and our oldest is a senior in high school now. Our plan has always been to have them take a year of post secondary while in high school(taking college classes earning high school and college credits). She will have a year of college done for free. We have a college 20 min away that they will commute to and live at home. We can pay for one year, they will pay for the other two years between working and loans. Hopefully their loans will be very minimal. Unless anyone gets a full ride, going away to school isn't an option in this family.

 

[califlorican]

My parents paid for my brother and I to go to community college for 2 years (he's only a year ahead of me in school, so it was 3 years in a row total that he paid for one or both of us) and if we wanted to continue schooling, it was up to us. I think it worked out well and I'm thankful they paid any at all!

 

[clh2]

We know a family with 8 children, dad works, with a SAHM, and I know she works too, just not for a paycheck. The are not going to be paying for any of the schooling. If they can't do it for one, they are not doing it for any.

Their oldest is sophomore in college, he is a national merit scholar, and has a full ride to where he is attending college. Stuck in dorms (small price to pay) for the full 4-years, as that is what the scholarship pays for, as opposed to apartment leases.

Their 2nd child, really wanted to go to a state school in Indiana, but without of state tuition, not even any magic FAFSA formulas were able to make that happen, she is attending a state school. She is a freshman, and any of the bill that she is not able to pay "as-she-goes" will be on loans. Other than the Stafford loans- I do not know what additional loans this daughter has been seeking out.

Their 3rd child will be a freshman next year, also at a state school, but 5 hours from home. I would assume loans will be taken out as well, similar to #2.

#'s 4,5 and 6 are coming without any break, but by the time #5 starts, hopefully #1 will be done, and by the time #6 starts, hopefully #2 will be done.

At #7, there is a small gap of a couple of years, and by the time #8 goes, only #7 will be in school.

Again - these parents are not planning on paying for any of the college expenses. Not to say that they won't help out here and there, but they won't be funding a majority of the expenses.

In this family - there should be no surprises, the kids have known this plan for a long time.

It is a great family! With really smart kids! So - hopefully some of the others are getting scholarships too!

 

[Southernmiss]

We have 4 kids.

DS #1 is in his second year of college, but classified as a junior.

He worked hard and received a full scholarship to his 4th choice college, but it's a good school and he's having a great experience and maintaining his grades for his scholarship. We told him to go to the school that offered him the most $$ and where he could get his 4 year degree with the least amount of debt. So far so good. He's taken out no loans. He's thinking ahead now to grad school and beginning to look for scholarship and work study opportunities for grad school.

Our advice has always been work hard in high school, maximize your gpa and extracurricular/volunteer involvement and do very well on the ACT test. It worked for DS #1 and DS #2 (a high school junior) has a very high ACT score and working towards a higher score. So far DS # and DD have great grades, but they are a bit younger. DS #3 is a freshman in high school and has taken the ACT twice and has a good score already.

Our kids have always known we are not in a position to cover college and that they can get through it just as DH did and I did for 3 years. If their grades don't pan out. DH and I went to community college for 2 years. (We have very good ones in our area and they work closely with our in state 4 year schools so that the credits easily transfer.) DH completed his 4 year degree through the Army Reserves and working. I completed 3 years through working/tuition reimbursement.

Each child and each family is different. We'll see how our plan holds for the last three kids.

 

[Sleepy425]

I am encouraging both of my girls to go to the local CC. 1 has expressed an interest in being a dental hygeinest. I want them both to be debt free.

Please beware of dental hygiene. I am a dental hygienist. When I graduated in 2007, I got the first job I interviewed for. Now the market is awful. In CT, 2 new schools opened in the last couple years. There are way too many hygienists and they are having a hard time finding jobs. I do some hiring stuff for my office. We have been putting ads out for assistants and are getting recent hygiene graduates applying. Pretty sad considering they will be making at least $20/hr less as an assistant!
REALLY look at the job market in your area. And don't believe the hygiene schools when they tell you the outlook is great. Dentists are getting away with paying less and less because they know people are desperate for jobs.

 

[powellrj]

We have 3. 1st one is going to college on GI Bill. Not sure if that is even an option anymore and I know its not for everyone.

DS#2 is a 2nd year senior at a state school. The only kind of aid he got was loans so he will be paying student loans for a long time. Its been a long lesson learning 4 1/2 years. I am not going into everything, but lets just say I hope that he has learned lifelong lessons that will follow him forever.

DD#3 has been a good student, will attend with almost a full year of classes already, plus she is going to her dream private school with lots of scholarship money. Her schooling will end up costing less than her brothers because of the scholarships. We were always told there was more scholarship money at private schools than state schools and we are finding that to be true.

 

[disykat]

I do not have a large family, but I'll answer anyway because I currently have two in college.

We had a plan with lots of prongs. It's still a lot of money, but having a plan in place has made it easier than we thought it would be.

1.We paid off our mortgage early right before our oldest started college, freeing up cash flow.

2.I went from working part time to full time.

3. We told our kids they would get help from us up to the cost of our state flagship and beyond that (private school etc.) they could only choose if they got scholarship help. We told them we would not contribute to them taking on more than 5K a year in loans. They applied where they wanted, but on the understanding they would only choose schools whose offers fit the parameters. (Both ended up at state schools, but had private school offers that fell within their range.)

4. Our kids have good grades and applied for scholarships.

5. Vacations are currently NOT a priority, but take second to funding the kid's schooling.

6. We did some investing in our state's pre-paid tuition program, so part of it is pre-funded.

7. With one we didn't qualify for anything, but with two kids in, they both got some scholarships from their schools - which I assume will go away when we are back to one in school.

8. Our kids work summer jobs etc. and are in charge of all their own spending money. We also expect them to live in the cheapest dorm, have roommates, etc. Luxurious accommodations are not an expectation we would support while we scrimp and save! They do not have cars, and they are expected to get on-campus jobs if/when their schedule allows.

9. We let our kids know we will be contributing up to four years. As long as their grades are good, we'll try to keep them from accumulating debt.

I'm always sort of amazed when I hear people complaining about college costs and find out their kids are 6th year seniors that have never held a job and are living in a brand new dorm with a single room and their own bathroom. At some schools,(not all) there's a considerable price difference!

I have a good friend with four kids and they're pretty much following the same plan we are, but for a few more years.

 

[MinnieLovesMickey12]

Our youngest 3 are currently 12, 13 and 14. Almost 13, about to be 14 and almost 15. All 3 have birthdays before April.

I am not sure DD13 will want to go to college. School has been a struggle for her. She makes decent grades. Mostly B's. But it did not come easy for her.

DS12 is in the GATES program for gifted kids and he does very well in school but doesn't seem to like it very well.

Stepson seems like he will absolutely resist going to college.

We have told them we will pay for the first 2 years of going to community college then they can transfer to a state school. But our closest state school that is within driving distance runs about 25k per year.

We will not qualify for any need based aid and will have to pay 100% for their schooling.

If they make it through 2 years of community college with decent grades and want to transfer on and continue we will pay for it as we go.

Our home mortgage will be paid off in 2.5 years, right before the 15 yr old is old enough to go to college so we will have some cash flow freed up to help cover the cost of their schooling. We may end up with some student loans before it is all over with. I can't guarantee that we will be able to get them through 4 years with no loans. We will try though.

I think the 2 boys want to try to follow in my husband's footsteps. He does not have any college education but is a boat captain and makes 6 figures. The only ppl in my town that make more than DH are the doctors and lawyers. But being a boat pilot is a skilled job and not just anybody can do it. But the boys see the fruits of DH's labor and they think they might want to do the same thing.

So we'll see how this all goes. I will encourage them all to go to college. I went to college and became a nurse. DD said she absolutely does not want to be a nurse so there's that.

 

[sugarbobbin]

If it's impossible to pay out of pocket, try to at least co-sign for federal loans if they are unable to get one without a co-signer and try to avoid private loans. If they're federal loans, they'll be eligible for much more flexibility on paying them back than private loans.

My parents couldn't financially support my college tuition. So I have about 80k in federal student loans. I went to state school for my BA and MA. Luckily, they did cosign for all of my federal loans to keep the interest rates low and fixed. The positives with federal loans is that a percentage of that can be subsidized depending on your income. 10% of mine is subsidized thanks to signing up for FAFSA, that means I don't pay interest on 10% of my loans. That's a big savings for me in the long term! Another positive is that it opens me up to forgiveness and payment plans that make it realistic for me to do the job I love and still make ends meet. Have them consider employment in a public service or non-profit job in order to qualify for loan forgiveness and income-based repayment. There is probably a job out there in their field that is in a 501(c)3 or the government.

AND ALWAYS FILE FOR FAFSA!!! I cannot stress this enough. You child might be eligible for grants and other need-basis awards.

 

[Marionnette]

If it's impossible to pay out of pocket, try to at least co-sign for federal loans if they are unable to get one without a co-signer and try to avoid private loans. If they're federal loans, they'll be eligible for much more flexibility on paying them back than private loans.

My parents couldn't financially support my college tuition. So I have about 80k in federal student loans. I went to state school for my BA and MA. Luckily, they did cosign for all of my federal loans to keep the interest rates low and fixed. The positives with federal loans is that a percentage of that can be subsidized depending on your income. 10% of mine is subsidized thanks to my mom's signature, that means I don't pay interest on 10% of my loans. That's a big savings for me in the long term! Another positive is that it opens me up to forgiveness and payment plans that make it realistic for me to do the job I love and still make ends meet. Have them consider employment in a public service or non-profit job in order to qualify for loan forgiveness and income-based repayment. There is probably a job out there in their field that is in a 501(c)3 or the government.

AND ALWAYS FILE FOR FAFSA!!! I cannot stress this enough.

It's generally a bad idea to co-sign for any loans. It is especially bad to co-sign for a student loan, which cannot be discharged in bankruptcy. As much as you would like to help your kids out by lowering their interest rates by applying your signature to their loan, you have to remember that you will be on the hook for their payments if they cannot make them. A lot of kids cannot afford to make those payments and so Mom and Dad end up taking care of the bulk of the cost because they don't want their own credit ruined.

It may have worked out for the PP but most financial experts (aside from the ones who are pandering these loans) will tell you that it is a very poor financial choice.

 

[sugarbobbin]

It's generally a bad idea to co-sign for any loans. It is especially bad to co-sign for a student loan, which cannot be discharged in bankruptcy. As much as you would like to help your kids out by lowering their interest rates by applying your signature to their loan, you have to remember that you will be on the hook for their payments if they cannot make them. A lot of kids cannot afford to make those payments and so Mom and Dad end up taking care of the bulk of the cost because they don't want their own credit ruined.

It may have worked out for the PP but most financial experts (aside from the ones who are pandering these loans) will tell you that it is a very poor financial choice.

There is a way out for co-signers after graduation. After 12 months of on time payments, the co-signer can be released. My parents and I had a discussion and we went through it knowing I'd be on the IBR plan out of college and looking into PSF. It worked for me, but I understand it might not work for everyone else.

Also, Federal loans do not require co-signers (they just help with lowering interest rates). It's just another option out to help OP's kid to look into if they really desire to go to college but are lacking financial means.

 

[wallawallakids]

We have 4 children and we will do our best to "help" each of them, but we do not plan on footing the entire bill. My parents did not pay for my college education, and they did not pay for my 3 siblings. My husband also received no support from his parents. He went to undergrad and med school on his on bill. Yes, it did take us years to pay off, but I do not regret it. It taught us how to manage money, how to save, and how to pay off debt to the point where we are now debt free. I feel like if we turned around and paid for their education in full we would be robing them of the ability to learn that things do not come for free and that great things are worth working for, saving for, and having a budget for.

We are like this in general with a lot of things. My oldest just got a cell phone for Christmas. Most of her friends get their bills paid for free. We had our daughter sign a contract where she needs to pay $10 a month and keep her grades up or the phone is gone. Sounds extreme but I have seen the rut some parents get into paying their kid's cell phone bill and they still pay it past college. She may be turning 12 in a few weeks, but she needs to be responsible and learn things are not handed to her. Does the $10 really mean anything on her bill? No. But it teaches her a lesson and that is why we are here. We love her, we support her, but ultimately our goal is to teach her to be successful, smart, and wise about all things, including money. This is just our opinion and I will probably get flamed for it. But it is how we do things in our home.

 

[Egdisney]

We have 4 children and we will do our best to "help" each of them, but we do not plan on footing the entire bill. My parents did not pay for my college education, and they did not pay for my 3 siblings. My husband also received no support from his parents. He went to undergrad and med school on his on bill. Yes, it did take us years to pay off, but I do not regret it. It taught us how to manage money, how to save, and how to pay off debt to the point where we are now debt free. I feel like if we turned around and paid for their education in full we would be robing them of the ability to learn that things do not come for free and that great things are worth working for, saving for, and having a budget for. We are like this in general with a lot of things. My oldest just got a cell phone for Christmas. Most of her friends get their bills paid for free. We had our daughter sign a contract where she needs to pay $10 a month and keep her grades up or the phone is gone. Sounds extreme but I have seen the rut some parents get into paying their kid's cell phone bill and they still pay it past college. She may be turning 12 in a few weeks, but she needs to be responsible and learn things are not handed to her. Does the $10 really mean anything on her bill? No. But it teaches her a lesson and that is why we are here. We love her, we support her, but ultimately our goal is to teach her to be successful, smart, and wise about all things, including money. This is just our opinion and I will probably get flamed for it. But it is how we do things in our home.

I won't flame you. I think it is a pretty good idea. My oldest already knows she will get a phone when she starts babysitting her siblings, and if she isn't responsible enough to do that(ie, if she is mean) it is gone. I am 4 years older than my brother, 6 than my sister. I got a cell when I was 18, it was just before the whole world had them. I am still a little bitter than my parents probably paid for at least 10 years of their phone bills. They finally dropped them when my sister got married! They owe me some serious cash, lol!!!

 

[lisaross]

I have two boys - oldest starting HS next year and one in middle school. We are saving what we can - our mortgage will be paid off when older one is in his senior year of HS. I will then be able to cash flow a lot also - but they are only 2 years apart so college at the same time. I am hoping to pay about $15,000 a year for each. Those who wrote about kids working during Christmas break etc, how do they come home and get a job so quickly just for the few weeks?

 

[Marionnette]

There is a way out for co-signers after graduation. After 12 months of on time payments, the co-signer can be released. My parents and I had a discussion and we went through it knowing I'd be on the IBR plan out of college and looking into PSF. It worked for me, but I understand it might not work for everyone else.

Also, Federal loans do not require co-signers (they just help with lowering interest rates). It's just another option out to help OP's kid to look into if they really desire to go to college but are lacking financial means.

And if the child cannot afford those monthly payments for the first 12 months? The parents are on the hook for those payments! It happened to my sister. She co-signed for her youngest, who had aspirations to become a physical therapist. My niece didn't get into a program just after getting her undergraduate degree, so she planned to get more shadowing experience and applied for the following year. But that meant that she wasn't making a ton of money for the 17 months after getting her BS. Her student loan payments were $1K+/month!!!!! My niece paid what she could but guess who ended up spending 11 months paying the bulk of payments? My sister!

My niece's loan payments are now in deferment because she is now in a doctorate program for PT. When she finishes, she will make enough money to be able to handle the loan payments herself. But it was a pretty rough lesson for my sister to learn.

Federal Stafford loans also have caps. A student can only borrow a maximum of $5500 their freshman year. The amount increases every year until the third year and beyond where it caps at $7500 per year. There are also lifetime maximums of $31K for dependent undergrads and about $57K for independent undergrads. They won't pay for a full year of school in most cases.

If you want to help your child out, let them take out their own loans but pay their interest for them while they are in college. It helps to keep the monthly payments down for them when they do graduate. It also keeps the parents off of the hook for the child's debts.

 

[kkmcan]

We have a dd who's a junior in high school and ds who is in 8th grade.

DD doesn't have a clue what she wants to do or where shes wants to go for college or even if she wants to go to college. We have a 4 year college and a community college that she can attend and still live at home.

DS really struggles with his grades and doesn't like school so I don't know if he'll even attend college. I'm hoping he goes for Firefighter like his dad. You just need a couple of EMT and fire classes to start. Then to promote he would need a 2 year degree at some point later.

We don't have a lot saved for college but I think DD could receive some scholarship money and the CC is about $600 per semester so that's not too bad to start with.

 

[Lisa71]

My aunt and uncle have 4 kids and just told them we can afford x dollars and the rest is up to you. Oldest paid a lot for UC Davis then got a scholarship...the next line went to community college and worked and saved. He had enough saved to almost cover his two years at San Diego state. He kept working and has a Master's degree. I want to add that great schools do offer money too. My friend's daughter who was top 1% for the state went to Emory and it saving about 10,000 a year..but it is still pricey. If she had gone to a state school the one closest offered her almost a free ride. They do not qualify for financial aid.

 

[3boymthr]

Can I admit my parents are the bomb DH and I were always running into financial difficulties related to my keeping on taking jobs where the company would get sold in 6 months and I'd end up unemployed again. When my kids were each in first grade my parents invested in UPlan for them and then an additional HUGE chunk in a 529. Oldest DS has enough money in his Uplan that his tuition and fees are 100% paid and his room and board about 25% paid at his second choice school and tuition and fees would be 75% paid at his first choice school. We have informed him, and his brothers, that we will not be cosigning on any loans so he'll probably end up at his second choice school. He is also investigating the ROTC scholarship program. he is also 99% of the way to his Eagle Scout badge which will open a world of scholarships up to him.

Middle DS has learning disabilities which make reading and writing very difficult and has already informed us that he does not want to go to college. We are in the process of investigating vocations, summer vocational programs and post graduate vocational schools (he doesn't like the program at the local vocational HS so we're not looking at that, they have a funky program which does not fit well with his particular learning disabilities).

Youngest DS I'm hoping will go to the school where he can take full advantage of the UPlan where, like oldest DS, his tuition will be 100% paid. We will certainly send him in that direction.

 

[Iowajes]

If the plan is to attend a community college then transfer, I would focus on getting 60 credit hours that will transfer. If you get an AA degree, you will have credits that won't transfer and will need more hours in the end.

This is really good advice. I know a number of kids who went to community college to "save money" and their courses did not transfer to their degree plans, so in the end, they wasted money and time.

If you go to community college with the intent of transferring to a 4-year school- work closely with an advisor who has experience with that school. Don't accept generic advice!

My University actually had a program with the local community college, where the university set the course path at the CC and guaranteed transfer, and admission, if certain criteria were met. I think it was mostly used for overflow of those who just barely didn't get in- but those people saved a lot of money, and because it was an affiliate program they were eligible for things like football tickets at a reduced price which can really 'make' the college experience.

 

[eliza61]

We have 4 children and we will do our best to "help" each of them, but we do not plan on footing the entire bill. My parents did not pay for my college education, and they did not pay for my 3 siblings. My husband also received no support from his parents. He went to undergrad and med school on his on bill. Yes, it did take us years to pay off, but I do not regret it. It taught us how to manage money, how to save, and how to pay off debt to the point where we are now debt free. I feel like if we turned around and paid for their education in full we would be robing them of the ability to learn that things do not come for free and that great things are worth working for, saving for, and having a budget for.

We are like this in general with a lot of things. My oldest just got a cell phone for Christmas. Most of her friends get their bills paid for free. We had our daughter sign a contract where she needs to pay $10 a month and keep her grades up or the phone is gone. Sounds extreme but I have seen the rut some parents get into paying their kid's cell phone bill and they still pay it past college. She may be turning 12 in a few weeks, but she needs to be responsible and learn things are not handed to her. Does the $10 really mean anything on her bill? No. But it teaches her a lesson and that is why we are here. We love her, we support her, but ultimately our goal is to teach her to be successful, smart, and wise about all things, including money. This is just our opinion and I will probably get flamed for it. But it is how we do things in our home.

No flames but I alway hate the implication that those of us who do pay for our kids education are some how NOT teaching our kids responsibility.

My parents paid my entire education, I am not an irresponsible spend thrift that doesn't no how to handle my bills neither are my sons. I did not get into college than go partying every day. I somehow managed to go to class, do well and become successful. When I was a stay at home mom and our house was damaged due to fire in another row home, my wonderful father helped us out financially. I still manage to be appreciative, grateful and pay him back until he told me to stop.

I too have wonderful smart, successful and for the most part wise kids. they are not in debt, they are not in college having keg parties, my youngest has an american express card tied to my card since he is 700 miles from home and he has not gone la vida loca with it. In fact, it's wonderful because I don't have to worry about getting him cash for books, etc.

My youngest may have the opportunity to do an unpaid internship this summer in London, which means he probably won't work LOL according to some here I'm probably a bad mom because I believe the experience and contacts will be more valuable than the minimum wage job he'll have over the summer. So should I tell him to not take the opportunity because he won't have the dough to pay his cell phone?

Nope, I'm going to encourage him to make the most of it, if he gets accepted. Learn all he can and see if he can keep going back. Even if it means during his Jr year I'll have to pick up some of his living expenses.

making kids pay their college tuition does not infer magical powers and make them great money managers nor does paying a kids tuition make them irresponsible party animals wasting parents money.