Lage age gap between siblings? Contemplating having 2nd child

[AppleDumpling]

I think you should follow what your heart tells you to do. If you have the energy and desire to raise another child, go for it. Your daughter will likely love being a big sister.

Just because siblings aren't close in age doesn't mean they can't have a close bond. Even if they don't have a lot in common growing up, once they're adults, the age difference won't matter so much. And you're an adult for a lot longer than you're a child. As for medical issues, you can't worry about that. There are no guarantees in life.

 

[LiveYourLife]

I was 9 when my sister was born.

9.5 years between my Sister and I! I love her to pieces and she has and always will be my best friend! I'm glad my parents waited

Good luck in whatever you and your Husband decide, OP.

 

[jadelsp]

I have only scanned the replies but wanted to add. I have 2 boys a little over 14 years apart and I love it. We had some fertility issues and the youngest came after lots of treatment and so maybe I am a touch jaded. The boys are close now they are almost 20 and 5 and the oldest is great with his brother and the younger one is kind of turkey with his brother but loves him. The youngest is kind of a turkey in general. The age difference has not been hard on us at all.

 

[bushdianee]

I taught first grade and just about every year I had at least one child who's first sibling was born. Almost all of them were excited to be big sisters/brothers. They felt like they could teach the babies and help their moms with the babies. On a lighter note my 10 year old niece has a half sister who is 23 years older than she is! My DSIL only has the two daughters and my brother just has the one. They are pretty close.

 

[wenrob]

My kids are nine and half years apart. Older DD just turned 20 in August and younger DD and DS will be 11 in November. They are extremely close. She works full time and goes to school so they don't get to spend as much time with her these days but she takes them on little dates, will take them for the day, tuck them in if she's home, go to meet the teacher and their little events. As PP have mentioned her friends just accept them as part of the package and have bonded with them as well. I also like knowing if something happened she would take care of them. We didn't plan it that way, it's just how it worked out (my kids are IVF babies). I'd absolutely do it again.

 

[Colleen27]

I'll admit it was hard when they were growing up, but I think it was the 3 child thing more than the age difference.

Yeah, once the parents are outnumbered all bets are off no matter what the age difference. I have 3 with 10 years between oldest and youngest. One of my good friends has 3 with 4 years between oldest and youngest. Let me tell you, the specifics might be different but deep down the crazy is all the same.

 

[wenrob]

Oops, wrong quote. Meant to quote jadeisp.
I haven't heard the term "turkey" used in forever but that's a great way to put it. My boy can push my oldest's sister buttons just as easily as he can his twin sister's.

 

[Neesy228]

My only siblings are 15 and 19 years younger than me. That's what I consider a large age gap!

My oldest and youngest are 5.5 years apart and he was so excited to have a baby sister at that age, he even went to a sibling preparation class at the hospital to learn how to bath her, hold her and change her diaper. It was pretty dang cute.

6ish years doesn't seem like an insane amount of years between children and if you're feeling like you'd like to try for another, then I would suggest you follow your heart. Best of luck.

 

[mrsstats]

My sister was born when I was 13 and my brother was 17. We are now 65 and 52. We have had a very good relationship thru all the years. Different at different times. Plus I married when she was 5. Right now, we are very close and speak each day.

 

[mom2shayleeandlogan]

I have a 11 year old, 8.5 year old and 7month old. Having the baby has added so much joy to our family and the older kids are always thanking us for having another kid. We are going to have one more, the more the merrier

I also have a sister 7.5 years younger then me and we have always been close. We talk or text everyday.

Good luck on whatever decision you make

 

[HarleenQ]

My oldest is almost 11. Middle is 9. Youngest is almost 1.

I love it. Yes it's starting over, but the older kids are helpful and I feel like I enjoy the baby stage more.

 

[Patience]

My daughters are 13 years apart. They are now 22 and 9. My husband and I didn't plan to have such a large gap in age between our children but life happens and things don't always work out as planned. For us, the age gap has been pretty much a non-issue. The girls love each other to pieces and are close and loving toward each other. A 22 year old and a 9 year old don't have much to argue about so their relationship is peaceful and nurturing. The oldest one is in grad school now but when she comes home for breaks, she never gets to sleep in her bed alone because the youngest one always wants to sleep with her. My oldest is very protective and very proud of her little sister and the youngest wants to be just like the oldest one and asks to facetime her every night. The oldest comes home whenever she can because she misses her little sister.

The only negative we have experienced is the annoying comments people make about the age gap. I've heard everything from "why did you want to start over when you were almost done" to "better you than me" to which I always reply yes, better me than you. But I think people are just nosy and like to hear themselves talk. My sister who has 5 children used to get a lot of the "don't you know what causes that" and "FIVE CHILDREN!!!" comments so there you go.

 

[wenrob]

My daughters are 13 years apart. My husband and I didn't plan it to have such a large gap in age between our children but life happens and things don't always work out as planned. For us, the age gap has been pretty much a non-issue. The girls love each other to pieces and are very close and loving toward each other. The oldest one is in grad school now but when she comes home for breaks, she never gets to sleep in her bed alone because the youngest one always wants to sleep with her. My oldest is very protective and very proud of her little sister and the youngest wants to be just like the oldest one and asks to facetime her every night.

The only negative we have experienced is the annoying comments people make about the age gap. I've heard everything from "why did you want to start over when you were almost done" to "better you than me" to which I always reply yes, better me than you. But I think people are just nosy and like to hear themselves talk because my sister who has 5 children used to get a lot of the "don't you know what causes that" and "FIVE CHILDREN!!!" comments so there you go.

Another is assuming my DH is older DD's step-father. I even had an aunt do that and she attended my wedding and was around when oldest was born. Plus, um, married to the same dude all this time.

 

[ksjayhawks]

My two are almost 15 years apart.

 

[Patience]

Another is assuming my DH is older DD's step-father. I even had an aunt do that and she attended my wedding and was around when oldest was born. Plus, um, married to the same dude all this time.

Yes, I get that one too. People assume my children have different fathers and that I am on my second marriage. Nope, my husband and I have been married 24 years.

 

[aebeauregard]

I am currently debating have a 2nd child also. It's not the same situation though, my first is almost 2 now. I go back and forth everyday lately. I totally understand your restless feeling...I lay awake at night going through the scenarios in my head.

"What if we only have one?"
"What is we wait one more year?"
"Maybe we should just go for it and get it done with."
"What if something goes wrong next time?"

I think I feel pressure from society to have another now. I want another so my daughter has a sibling but I really don't know if I'm ready for it yet. I love my daughter but I did not love the newborn stage either. It did not bring out the best in me. I can't imagine having a newborn and still having her in such a needy stage of life.

Anyways...I'm sure whatever you do will work out in the long run. I wouldn't decide "no" just because there would be a larger age gap. Even if the siblings aren't super close doesn't mean having two would be the wrong choice. A 7 year old would be really helpful with a baby too. What does your significant other think?

I am a little over 6 years older than my brother. We aren't as close as my sister and me (2 years apart) but we do have somethings in common that we bond over. I think part of it may also be due to different genders. We seem to be getting closer as we get older.

 

[thepicklebee]

I am 6 and 8 years older than my sisters. I loved when they were little because they were like my little living baby dolls I could play with. I was definitely a "little mommy" to them when they were growing up. We weren't close when I was in high school and when I went to college just because we were at such different places in our lives. Now, we are all adults and are very close. We group text daily.

My daughter is an only child. Sometimes, I have a lot of guilt about it. She does have step-brothers but they are both adults and not close at all. More kids just weren't in the cards for us. (If we had a baby now, it would be 25 and 10 years younger than its siblings. Terrifying!)

 

[quandrea]

I had 2 sons, 18 years apart! . (same dad) I had oldest DS then I had a series of miscarriages before youngest DS came along.

TC

My children are five and a half years apart. I too had many miscarriages. We started trying six weeks after our first daughter was born and had given up when our twins came along. They are my miracles. The three kids are all close. They play together and share many interests. That may be because we homeschool. You can't always plan everything perfectly. If you want more I would give it a try.

 

[SureAsLiz]

There is a 21 year age difference between my youngest sister and me.

I was 10 when my brother was born. We are definitely close. Same with the next set of brothers who were born when I was 12.

The hardest part is that I'm now out of college, living on my own in a different state, and they are just starting middle/high school. I'm missing out on them growing up. And I know that when I left for school, it was hard on them.

 

[NewmanFamily6]

Our oldest is 6 yrs older than the twins and 4 yrs older than the 2nd child. She is not close at all really with any of them. DD 15 & Boys 13 are very close. Of course the boys have a special bond. DD 19's personality doesn't allow the relationship that the younger kids would like.