Ladies, sons and bathrooms

[Aladora]

If your son cannot use his appropriate gender bathroom as a grade schooler the onus is on you to figure out a way that he can use the restroom that does not infringe on the rights of girls. Whether that is a companion bathroom, restaurant bathroom or first aid bathroom.

Times like these, I wish there was an applause smilie.

 

[Angel Ariel]

I can't even pretend to understand your reasoning of a huge public area and a restroom being the same thing. Because Main Street and Rapunzels restroom are so similar.

I agree..but even if I didnt..there are options in wdw that are not huge, crowded restrooms. They have been presented in this thread numerous times. I don't understand how girls should be expected to avail themselves of those options so an older boy can be in a ladies restroom, but it seems to be asking too much to expect that the boy be the one to avail himself of those options.

 

[BJ7644]

And did you handle your menstruation out in the open in a public restroom? No. It was all done behind a closed stall door. So what does the person in the next stall have to do with you menstruating?

I was responding to the comment that 8 lyear olds do not know about such things. They can and many do. This being why people feel 8 is getting to old to be appropriate.

 

[Hikergirl]

We're not talking about making an 8 year old use the ladies room. We're talking about not making an 8 year old go into a crowded bathroom without adult supervision if that isn't something they can handle.

No, you are talking about bringing an 8 year old boy into the woman's room without taking into consideration any of the feelings of any of the females using that bathroom. You've expressed what you think those females should do (look for a family restroom) and how they should feel and what they should be taught. Don't try to sugar coat it, it is what it is, you feel entitled to bring your child into the woman's bathroom because of HIS feelings while disregarding any of the girl's feelings. You were called out on that and you are trying to make it seem like something other than what it is. Its not working BTW.

 

[Hikergirl]

My DS will only be in the 2nd trimester of 2nd grade (January birthday and school start date cut-off is October)when he turns 8. Stalls, whistles, panic word, moms at exits.....all great suggestions I have been giving here for how to keep him safe and not lost while using the bathroom in large places.

I do remember reading on a parenting board that a mom gave her son a whistle to wear when going into the men's room. He knew to blow it if anything happened and she'd definitely hear that and go rushing in.

I know this thread has run off the rails but I just wanted to say that as a mom of a girl I realy appreciate that you came here looking for alternatives to bringing your son into the ladies room.

 

[Angel Ariel]

I know this thread has run off the rails but I just wanted to say that as a mom of a girl I realy appreciate that you came here looking for alternatives to bringing your son into the ladies room.

I agree. OP, thank you very much for taking the time to ask for and consider alternatives.

 

[BJ7644]

It is not normal for a girl to be afraid of the mere presence of a boy. That is absurd.
The fear isn't of a men's room. The fear is of being in a crowded unfamiliar place alone. And I have known plenty 8 year old boys who were completely fine using a men's room elsewhere, but at a huge theme park where there are thousands of people, they felt differently. And girls of that age who felt the same about going alone

It's not normal for a girl to be afraid of the presence of a boy where she'd expect to see a boy. If the picture on the door is a female and it reads 'ladies room', she's within her right to be afraid. Whether that's rational or not isn't the issue. If said girl had been previously groped/attacked/etc. then how else is she supposed to feel about it?

 

[Tara1988]

No, you are talking about bringing an 8 year old boy into the woman's room without taking into consideration any of the feelings of any of the females using that bathroom. You've expressed what you think those females should do (look for a family restroom) and how they should feel and what they should be taught. Don't try to sugar coat it, it is what it is, you feel entitled to bring your child into the woman's bathroom because of HIS feelings while disregarding any of the girl's feelings. You were called out on that and you are trying to make it seem like something other than what it is. Its not working BTW.

What? I wasn't sugar coating anything. I was saying there is a difference in MAKING an 8 year old (who is comfortable with using a men's room) go into the women's room, and bringing him into a women's bathroom because he is not comfortable going alone. This was in reference to being called a helicopter mom and not allowing my child to grow up when he is ready. I will continue to bring my son (5 btw) into the women's restroom with me, (or into the men's room with DH) until he is comfortable going alone. He will continue to respect the privacy of everyone else while he is in there, and if a little girl expresses her discomfort with his presence, I will sincerely apologize, and avoid taking him into the same bathroom with that girl in the future. But no, I won't force him to go into a bathroom alone if he isn't comfortable with it and I won't run around the park every time he has to pee in search of an available family restroom and risk him having an accident on the off chance that some little girl MIGHT be uncomfortable with his presence. Because in all honesty, if there are so many concerns about who is in the stall next to you, you aren't respecting that person's privacy

 

[Angel Ariel]

But no, I won't force him to go into a bathroom alone if he isn't comfortable with it

No one said to. Many alternatives have been offered.

and I won't run around the park every time he has to pee in search of an available family restroom and risk him having an accident on the off chance that some little girl MIGHT be uncomfortable with his presence.

The conversation has been revolving around 8 year old boys. 8 year old boys are, generally speaking, not having daytime accidents anymore. Finding a family restroom, or a smaller/less crowded restaurant restroom is a reasonable accommodation for a child that age.

The beauty of places like the DIS is that you can ask here where the least crowded and smallest restrooms are. You can ask what restrooms have dual entrances and which have single entrances only. There are many people with the answers who are ready and willing to help out. But the way you've spoken in this thread is that there is NO other option for an 8 y/o boy who is not ready for the men's room, other than to be in the ladies' room...the unwillingness to consider other peoples' feelings as valid and consider other alternatives is the issue that people are taking.

Because in all honesty, if there are so many concerns about who is in the stall next to you, you aren't respecting that person's privacy

Goodness. A young girl being uncomfortable with an older boy (NOT a 5 y/o) in the *ladies* room, and that equates to her not respecting privacy? Wow. I have no words for that.

 

[ELSA711]

All I keep thinking is if I was the mom, maybe I would just go in the men's room with the boy!
LOL aint nothing in there I haven't seen already

 

[Tara1988]

All I keep thinking is if I was the mom, maybe I would just go in the men's room with the boy!
LOL aint nothing in there I haven't seen already

Unfortunately, that option is illegal in Florida. An 8 year old in the women's room isn't.

 

[mom2rtk]

Unfortunately, that option is illegal in Florida. An 8 year old in the women's room isn't.

Well, it's not illegal to us a companion or family restroom.

 

[Hikergirl]

What? I wasn't sugar coating anything. I was saying there is a difference in MAKING an 8 year old (who is comfortable with using a men's room) go into the women's room, and bringing him into a women's bathroom because he is not comfortable going alone. This was in reference to being called a helicopter mom and not allowing my child to grow up when he is ready. I will continue to bring my son (5 btw) into the women's restroom with me, (or into the men's room with DH) until he is comfortable going alone. He will continue to respect the privacy of everyone else while he is in there, and if a little girl expresses her discomfort with his presence, I will sincerely apologize, and avoid taking him into the same bathroom with that girl in the future. But no, I won't force him to go into a bathroom alone if he isn't comfortable with it and I won't run around the park every time he has to pee in search of an available family restroom and risk him having an accident on the off chance that some little girl MIGHT be uncomfortable with his presence. Because in all honesty, if there are so many concerns about who is in the stall next to you, you aren't respecting that person's privacy

Ah yes, lets not take responsibility for our own child and find an appropriate bathroom, lets just use the blame the victim mentality to justify why you are entitled to bring that boy into the ladies room. I think I've definitely heard enough.

 

[Tara1988]

Ah yes, lets not take responsibility for our own child and find an appropriate bathroom, lets just use the blame the victim mentality to justify why you are entitled to bring that boy into the ladies room. I think I've definitely heard enough.

A women's bathroom with his mother IS the appropriate bathroom for my 5 yr old. Thank you.

 

[Gracie09]

Unfortunately, that option is illegal in Florida. An 8 year old in the women's room isn't.

No it's not. There was a bill introduced last year to make it illegal to use a bathroom not associated with your biological sex (I don't believe there was an age limit associated with the ban either btw) but it died in committee so it it perfectly legal to use the men's room if you are female.

 

[Hikergirl]

A women's bathroom with his mother IS the appropriate bathroom for my 5 yr old. Thank you.

We aren't talking about a 5 year old though, and you said until he's comfortable so I assume that a person with that attitude wouldn't care if he was 5, 8, 10 or even older.

 

[Betty Rohrer]

Tara1988 how would you handle this happening and it happened to my daughter. she was in women's room with 5 year old son. as she starts to go son crawls under door and runs our of the bathroom cause he did not want to be there. I was waiting for them but I missed seeing him. took us about 10 minutes to find him. was not Disney but at another theme park. as you can guess it was last time he was in a women restroom

 

[ELSA711]

No it's not. There was a bill introduced last year to make it illegal to use a bathroom not associated with your biological sex (I don't believe there was an age limit associated with the ban either btw) but it died in committee so it it perfectly legal to use the men's room if you are female.

Can't tell you how many men's rooms I used at concerts in the 80s or hockey games for that matter! lol anyone remember those lines into a woman's room?!!

 

[kreckl]

As the OP I will say this topic has veered wildly off base. It seems to be forgotten that I did NOT want to bring him into the ladies room nor would he want to go. For our family that is inappropriate. I wanted suggestions on how to handle knowing he is safe in the men's room.


.

Remember at the beginning when I said "hang on!" ???

 

[Tara1988]

Tara1988 how would you handle this happening and it happened to my daughter. she was in women's room with 5 year old son. as she starts to go son crawls under door and runs our of the bathroom cause he did not want to be there. I was waiting for them but I missed seeing him. took us about 10 minutes to find him. was not Disney but at another theme park. as you can guess it was last time he was in a women restroom

As I have said several times, when my son is not comfortable using the women's restroom, he wouldn't be in there. I have never, at any point, said I would force my child into a bathroom he doesn't want to be in. So I wouldn't be in that situation.