Ladies I need your honest opinion!!!!!

[Toby'sFriend]

Honest Opinion #1 - All teenage girls need to learn to have enough self-respect that they do not stay with boys (men) who are telling other women they want to feel some @@@. Everybody deserves better than that.

Break up. You don't need to invent an excuse, tell him the truth, or analyze it to death. A simple "This relationship is no longer working for me, I wish you the best." will suffice.

Honest Opinion #2 - All teenage girls need to develop enough self-respect that they do not go prying into other people's private business. You know better than that. Next time, if you have a sneaking suspicion, be truthfull and tell him what you are feeling.
If you are honest yourself, you will very soon learn to develop an instinct for when others are dishonest.

Good luck

 

[danacara]

You are too cute a girl to spend your life repeatedly kissing these frogs. This one is not the prince. Princes do not want to touch other girls' butts. Therefore, throw him back in to the pond. Trust me, five more frogs will jump out of the water for consideration.

I seriously want to make up bumper stickers that say, "Throw the Frog Back!" and stick them on the cars of half my friends. Seriously, I do.

All the best to you - D

 

[DIZNYFAN]

One problem with blocking the e mails if she ever asks him about her replies he will know that something is wrong. Then he will ask you about iot and get pissed off I am sure now ask yourself do you want that to happen. If my wife was going through my e mails she would get an ear full and surely be on my not nice word list for quite a long time.

 

[Kendra17]

Originally posted by Toby'sFriend
Honest Opinion #1 - All teenage girls need to learn to have enough self-respect that they do not stay with boys (men) who are telling other women they want to feel some @@@. Everybody deserves better than that.

Break up. You don't need to invent an excuse, tell him the truth, or analyze it to death. A simple "This relationship is no longer working for me, I wish you the best." will suffice.

Honest Opinion #2 - All teenage girls need to develop enough self-respect that they do not go prying into other people's private business. You know better than that. Next time, if you have a sneaking suspicion, be truthfull and tell him what you are feeling.
If you are honest yourself, you will very soon learn to develop an instinct for when others are dishonest.

Good luck

Wow, no beating around the bush! I agree with tobysfriend completely!

 

[Disney Doll]

Several things come to mind here for me.

First, why were you looking in his e-mail? You must have had some inkling or feeling or whatever that something was going on. I have no desire to check my DH's e-mail, since I have no doubt in my mind about his fidelity.

Second, I too owuld be inbterested to know why you broke up the last time. Was it a trust related issue? Was it an issue of inappropriate behavior on his part?

Third, where there's smoke there's fire Staphanie. If this guy is e-mailing someone about wanting to touch her butt, chances are he already has. If your relationship was agreed upon by both of you to be a monogamous, committed relationship, then he is no longer playing by those rules. I too would vote for cutting him loose. All the business about "he's a friendly guy" and "I know he's a flirt" and "he's the type that tries to make people feel better, so he'll say anything" are excuses, and you know it as well as I do.

There is broken trust here, and his secrecy is not helping, nor is your sneaking around looking through his e-mails. It doesn't sound as if he is willing to work to repair that trust.

I don't think I'd waste my time on him. And I agree, no big explanation is needed. A simple, "I don't feel this is working out" is all the explanation he needs.

 

[Stephanie1974]

Originally posted by onecoolmama
If you dont want to say..no big deal, but why did you break up for the 4 months? Was it related to trust at all?

The nice thing is, you are going to be able to get away and really evaluate your relationship. You can watch his actions and hopefully you will get some breaks to think. How long are you going to be away?

It wasn't really trust it was more a commitment issue. When we first started going out he told me up front that he wasn't ready for a committed relationship and we were just going out more for fun. However we were still together almost every day. Over time I developed stronger feelings for him. He stil wasn't ready and we decided to end it before I got hurt and so we could remain friends. During the time that we were broken up though I cut off contact with him. I didn't call him, when his sister invited me to do things that he would be at I wouldn't go. I think we probably only ended up talking to each other about maybe four times while we were broken up. Of course I still had feelings for him, however I put those aside and moved on. Over the course of those months he ended up going through some tough personal issues and I was there for him as a friend to talk to like we had been before. We ended up getting back together but it was after some lenghty converstions which did include trust and commitment. He really did prove to me that he was ready for a full relationship and that this is what he wanted. I can honestly say that I would've never had gotten back with him if I truly didn't belive this, and actually a couple of weeks after we first broke up he did want to start things back up and I told him no because i knew that he wasn't ready. I had dated another guy for 5 years whom I thought was the one. We broke up (nothing to do with any of my current problems, we just couldn't make it work) and for about 4 years I really shut myself off to new relationships and concentrated on myself and learning to be independant. He is the first person since then that has even made me want to be in a serious relationship with anyone.

So yes I do love him and I do want to make things work if possible, however I do not want to keep him in a relationship that he doesn't want. I don't want him to feel like he owe's it to me or anything because of our past history.

Funny thing is, I would be pissed too if he were going through my stuff, well maybe not exactly pissed but hurt that he didn't trust me. And I do trust him, in our normal day to day routine he doesn't do anything that would not make me trust him, he doesn't even go out at night without me and it's not even like he try's to or anything usually he'll say "what do we have planned for tonight?" and we'll go from there. He doesn't try to hide phone conversations or anything. I think that because of the way that we usually are the thing that is bothering me the most is the secrecy. And even her not telling me because we do work together and she emails me all day long or will call me to talk about her problems and has never said one word about it at all.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by danacara
You are too cute a girl to spend your life repeatedly kissing these frogs. This one is not the prince. Princes do not want to touch other girls' butts. Therefore, throw him back in to the pond. Trust me, five more frogs will jump out of the water for consideration.

I seriously want to make up bumper stickers that say, "Throw the Frog Back!" and stick them on the cars of half my friends. Seriously, I do.

All the best to you - D

I went through a lot of frogs before I found my prince. The good guys (who don't want to touch other girls butts!) are out there and you'll find one...but you won't if you stay with this guy.

I can think of at least 3 awesome guys right here on this message board who, although I have not met them IRL, come off as a lot more mature and sweet than this jerk.

 

[Stepharoonie!]

As someone who had her email account broken into on a daily basis, I would personally be highly ticked off at the person who was reading my emails.

Though none of my emails were ever inappropriate, my ex put a key logger on the computer and got every single one of my passwords for anything I used on the computer. He read every email I ever wrote to my family and friends, and would play games later on stating things to me that I had written (or they had written) in emails.

While I understand you were upset about the emails that he had sent/received, you had absolutely no right to read his personal things. I have no advice to offer.

 

[pw2pp]

Dump him

 

[~*Belle 2003*~]

You say you trust him but go through his emails? That is not trust!

Perhaps he doesn't really love you?

I wouldn't stay with someone who wants to touch another girl's butt - not in a million years, but it's your life so good luck as I think you're gonna need it!

Honest opinion = go your seperate ways.

 

[Octoberbride03]

Frankly, if i were new to a message board and was having problems with my BF I don't think I'd be asking for advice, but that's just me. I'm more likely to write to an advice columnist then I am to post my troubles here.

But since you asked, I'm going to give my opinion.

#1 You most defintely have a trust problem going on, whether its trusting yourself or your BF or both is the big question. PPl who trust their SO's DO NOT go through their emails. I know you said you don't have your own, and use his, you still have no license to be going through his. So you need to get your own email account for starters.
#2 You say you know he's been faithful cause you're together pretty much all the time outside of work. Great, then all you really have is some flirtatious email on his part. The girl told him to stop the flirting, so if you don't trust him, then try and trust her. Unblock her email, because if he really wants it he'll just ask her again anyway.
#3 Try spending some time without him other than WDW. Like 1 night a week to go out with your friends and give him that same night to go out with his friends.

In all honesty, I'm not sure you have any reason to break up with him. But he definitely has a good reason to break up with you. Perhaps you try a counselor or something to help you see where you need to go. GL

 

[sweet angel]

I totally agree with Octoberbride.

You were wrong for going through his emails (you should seek what you might not want to find), and you compounded the wrongness by blocking her email.