Ladies, how do you make your Dh feel appreciated?

[Wishing on a star]

Thanks Tammy,

I know that I come off as very 'direct' and some here are misreading my posts in a negative way. I want to say that none of my remarks has been directed at your DH... Just the whole Men/Women thing in general.

It definately sounds like the both of you are trying to do as wonderfully as you can thru the circumstances!!!

I hope that you are doing well, and that everything works out between the two of you.

I know it must be hard on your DH... And, like you said, it is probably all stress talking. And, he really didn't mean it. But, I guess I have little bit of a hard time with the one comment that you quoted in your OP. If my DH was battling cancer, I could hardly imagine making such a comment to him... (all I am is a Mother&Maid to you...) You must be angel to be so understanding!!!!

I know that I have had some health issues, and really, I have had to remind myself that my DH simply has no comprehension. Especially since he is one who is never sick a day in his life.

It is probably true that this is just as hard on him as it is on you!
Now that I think of it, maybe an acknowledgment that you understand that he is going thru a lot, and are so very thankful for his efforts is what he is really asking for. Maybe it is common to fall into the 'he has to be strong' and 'he has to deal with it without any understanding of his own stress' type of thing. Maybe he is needing a good dose of acknowledgement and understanding right about now on these deeper levels. So, in this case, it might not be about 'ego' at all!!!

I know that I made kind of a joke about the cookies, but Hey, some fresh hot cookies couldn't hurt!!! Don't they say the way to a man's heart is thru his stomache!!! Nuff said on the 'lackanookie'!

Forgive my ignorance if this has been mentioned in the past. But, are there some cancer/health support groups that are geared for couples like you. Or, on second thought, some private counseling with somebody who has experience with this, for the two of you to help the both of you have a positive take on these issues.

I know that the one poster is right. Most of us simply cannot comprehend what you are facing. So, advice is given from our own limited viewpoint.

I hope and pray that all is well for both of you!

 

[MAKmom]

I tell DH " Thanks for working so hard to take care of us" Before he gets home I tell everyone lets clean up before Daddy gets home. I also cover him up on the sofa with a hot blanket....he loves this.

 

[luvmydogs]

Where is luvmydogs when we really need her?

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I knew that I could count on you!

 

[Kimmumum]

One thing that I have done is to take post it notes and put them in that shape of a heart on a mirror. On the individual post its I put "thank yous", silly sayings, words of encouragement, the words from our favorite songs etc. Just something simple but I had to put thought and effort into.

I have also bought (or made) a card and taped it to the steering wheel for him to find in the morning.

A lot of times the simplest things say the most.(Married 17 years in May)

Hope your get better soon. Being sick is no fun. I'll say my prayers for you.

 

[nwdisgal]

A big hug and a smile puts my DH in a good mood - especially when he comes home to it after a long hard day. It's easy to do and it doesn't have to involve any extracurriculars given the situation with your health.

 

[hipporina]

There is a wonderful book called "The Five Love Languages" that might really help you out. It explains that there are 5 basic ways we communicate love to each other and we all have a primary way that works for us. It is very possible that your languages are different and you just aren't "speaking" his language to him. My dh and I have different primary languages, so we have to be careful to make sure we "speak" each other's to them. These are the languages:

1. Quality time - spending genuine time with each other, not just watching TV together
2. Physical touch - not what you think - hugging, holding hands, a touch on the hand, holding hands, a quick kiss, etc
3. Acts of service - doing something for the other person such as cleaning the house, mowing the yard, fixing something for them, etc
4. Words of affirmation - telling them how much you love and apreciate them
5. Gifts - not just expensive or elaborate, but simple things like picking them up their favorite candy bar or something

Learning to show each other love in the way they receive it can help your relationship incredibly. It made a big difference to our marriage. The same languages also work with children and it can make your realtionship with your kids stronger too.

I know it sounds a little crazy, and I'm not usually into the "self-help" thing, but this one really makes sense. You should definately check it out.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/18...f=pd_bbs_1/102-4966763-8723308?_encoding=UTF8

 

[JCJRSmith]

Dh is an electrician in a shipyard. He builds huge navy aircraft carriers. It's a tough physical and very dirty job. Hard, hard work. He does that for at least 8 hours a day plus all the overtime he can scrape up.

I am a former carrier sailor and I am heretatellya she ain't kidding about the long hours in very unpleasant conditions. Yardbirds (as we called them) are pretty well paid but they work hard to earn their pay.

He must be at Newport News Shipbuilding, eh?

 

[JCJRSmith]

Well,I make a trip to Victoria Secrets ever so often

How does he look in the outfits you buy him?

Grinning, ducking and running like....

 

[luvindisneyworld]

How does he look in the outfits you buy him?

Grinning, ducking and running like....

LOL,Too funny

But I do hope everyone knows what I meant by that

 

[Shugardrawers]

I am a former carrier sailor and I am heretatellya she ain't kidding about the long hours in very unpleasant conditions. Yardbirds (as we called them) are pretty well paid but they work hard to earn their pay.

He must be at Newport News Shipbuilding, eh?

Yes he is. NNS been berry berry good to us. You're right, the conditions are more than just dirty, it's cold and wet in the winter, hot and humid in the summer. Maybe 3 days out of the year it's just right. It's always noisy. Yeah, they do make on the higher end of the scale for skilled blue collar labor but these guys earn every dime and then some. I could never do it. So see? I DO appreciate what he does! Love you muffin !!

 

[Shugardrawers]

How does he look in the outfits you buy him?

Grinning, ducking and running like....

I'm not sure he'd feel very appreciated when I started at him in lingerie

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Ladies, how do you make your Dh feel appreciated?

It's true though - I think many women would be surprised how happy their men would be if they a little more - and acted like they wanted to! I know it definitely makes my dh a happier man! But really, all I have to do is not nag as much, tell him I love him out of the blue, and tell him how lucky I am to be his wife. Nothing puts him in a happier place then saying those few simple things!

 

[Stacerita]

Bow chica bow bow

 

[cleo]

The 'big stuff' is great (and necessary!), but Please and Thank You go a long way too, even when what he has done is a very small thing (such as bringing you a cup of tea or handing you the phone if the call is for you). It matters. Especially if you say it with a smile.

Mine just wants to feel like he's my Hero. He knows he's my True Beloved and I make sure he always knows I think he's the smartest, bravest, kindest, most heroic man I could ever want (and he is). One of the best ways (I think) to let your man know you appreciate him is, never make him feel 'stupid', never insult him, never point out his 'flaws' in public (and only gently in private) and never take your own bad mood out on him.

Obviously, with a little training and some luck, he should be doing the same for you. But you are likely to have to start. 'I love you' is nice to hear, but it's even nicer to 'experience' because of a thoughtful, loving attitude.