Article from The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
If you don't want to read the whole thing at least check out the bottom.
February 04, 2003, Tuesday
WHAT'S IN A DAME : A bad husband joins the club
Jennifer CHRISTMAN
To: Scott Peterson From: Worst Husbands of America Society Re: Congratulations!
Mr. Peterson, it is our honor to induct you into the Worst Husbands of America Society!
We feel that the complete and utter disregard for the sanctity of the institution of marriage you have displayed lately will make you a perfect fit for our organization.
We do not make any guesses about what role you may or may not have had in the disappearance of your eight-monthspregnant wife Laci Peterson, of Modesto, Calif., who vanished on Christmas Eve of last year. We do not know whether you may have committed any crime. We do know, however, that you are a wretched husband - no matter how this whole situation shakes down.
And for that, we say welcome!
We were impressed with you from the moment we first heard about your missing wife. Your alibi? Gone on Christmas Eve - one of those days when respectable husbands want to (or at least are savvy enough to put up the pretense of wanting to) spend any free time with their family - because you were off fishing!
That's classic, man. Just classic.
Then recently it was brought to the nation's attention that just before Laci's fade-out you were involved in an affair with that hottie Amber Frey that you have since admitted to (we would have advised you to first deny it and say you "did not have sex with that woman," until they really had you by your manly equipment, but you're still young and learning).
Not only were you lying to your wife who was at home dealing with nausea and funky food cravings and decorating the nursery for your soon-to-be-born son, but you also lied to that pretty young thing and convinced her you were single. Shrewd, dude.
And now, you're telling interviewers that you had the nerve to still get it on with Frey even after you said you'd informed your wife about the affair. Dang, dog. We salute you on that.
We're also fascinated by the fact that you say that after you told Laci you were doing the deed with someone else, she wasn't ticked with you! Hello, wives get ticked at their husbands for leaving the toilet seat up, and your wife wasn't upset about you leaving your pants down while carrying around in her midsection the result of you having left your pants down months earlier? Talk about being oblivious to the feelings of your woman. You inspire us, brother.
And let's not forget some of your best work as a rotten husband - cozying up to the cameras in an effort to clear your name. (Meanwhile, you continually speak of your missing wife in the past tense - do you know something? Or is that just wishful thinking? Either way, it's bad husbanding at its finest.) And then staying home to study all your TV appearances when you should be out looking for your wife and the real criminals. The only way you could be a worse husband is if you went fishing now.
So, what do you say, buddy? You up for an angling trip with the boys?
Sincerely, Joey Buttafuoco, president Bobby Brown, vice president William Jefferson Clinton, treasurer Mike Tyson, recording secretary O.J. Simpson, recruitment director Gary Condit, community outreach chairman