(Lack of) Support in RL?

[Moonie]

Hey gang...sorry if this is out of line in posting, I'm just not sure how to deal with it right now. I'll remove it if it's not the right place.

Since I decided to try for the marathon a few days ago, my coworkers and some of my pals have been very supportive of me. Today, though, I got a bit of a shock - like a big bucket of cold water dumped on me - when one of my friends likened my plan of walking a good portion of the marathon to basically getting by on the least amount of effort possible just to be able to say I'd done a marathon. I can't help but feel disheartened by the fact that it feels like she (who is a more 'serious' runner) is looking down on me and anyone else who walks/run-walks as being less deserving or less accomplished than someone who can run a BQ, even though I know that 26.2 miles is still the same any way you dice it. I am honestly trying to embrace my penguin self and be proud of being the best me I can be, but it's feeling a little difficult at the moment.

Does anyone else deal with naysayers in their real lives like this? How do you shrug it off?

feeling a bit blue,

 

[ultramickeymouse]

Doing a marathon takes lots of time and dedication. Not all of us can be fast or great runners. Finishing is finishing a marathon. It is a great achievment you soon will have

Personally, I ignore the negative people. I wouldn't take about it around them. Find the people who are supportative and chat it up with them.

Enjoy the ride to Jan. It will be filled with ups and downs but the reward is so worth it.

See you in Jan!

BTW, some people have told me when they get down that they have read all of the reports from previous runners on my site. Not trying to promote it, just offer it as a tool!

 

[CarolA]

Hey gang...sorry if this is out of line in posting, I'm just not sure how to deal with it right now. I'll remove it if it's not the right place.

Since I decided to try for the marathon a few days ago, my coworkers and some of my pals have been very supportive of me. Today, though, I got a bit of a shock - like a big bucket of cold water dumped on me - when one of my friends likened my plan of walking a good portion of the marathon to basically getting by on the least amount of effort possible just to be able to say I'd done a marathon. I can't help but feel disheartened by the fact that it feels like she (who is a more 'serious' runner) is looking down on me and anyone else who walks/run-walks as being less deserving or less accomplished than someone who can run a BQ, even though I know that 26.2 miles is still the same any way you dice it. I am honestly trying to embrace my penguin self and be proud of being the best me I can be, but it's feeling a little difficult at the moment.

Does anyone else deal with naysayers in their real lives like this? How do you shrug it off?

feeling a bit blue,

This is a friend?

My suggestion. Don't discuss it with her (actually I would just cut her out of my life now. Who needs that negative energy?)

 

[windwalker]

Yep there are a lot of elite wannabes out there who ain't got a country clue.

I posted the question on the Runner's World forum "If you walk a marathon are you a marathoner"??

I had a lot of negative answers, people who had yet to work up to running their first mile but were ready to judge others.

My answer: Walking and running are different sports. Just like running and biking are different. Just because someone chooses to walk doesn't mean they are cripples. The ones who have a real hard time with it are the runner's who go from injury to injury but put down walking as a lessor sport.

I'm a walker, I'm a marathoner, I'm an athlete, period end of story. You do what you want to do moon and don't look back.

Dave

 

[escape]

26.2 miles = 26.2 miles = 26.2 miles any which way you look at it. You have to train hard to get there just like everyone else does- and maybe harder in some instances. I have a lot of poundage on my body. I may (or may not) have to work harder than some others to accomplish my goal. Just because I walk a lot doesn't mean I take an easier route.

Think about how it is in school. If you got an A in any subject, supposedly, you did excellent work. What difference would it make if you had a 98% average vs. a 92% average? Does it mean you worked any less? NO! Does it mean you took the easiest route to get that A? NO! In the end, the A on your transcript doesn't differentiate between a 99% and a 90%.

When you get that medal, is there a big sign attached that says you were a walker vs. a runner, that you had a 14 min. pace vs. an 8 min. pace? NO! That medal means you successfully completed a marathon. Period!

Wow! I've psyched myself up. Now I can't wait to get that medal. Yeehaw!

 

[Moonie]

Thanks guys, y'all helped me get my head back on straight as to what really matters Whatever pace any of us can complete a marathon at, it's more than most people will ever do! She's a great friend in most instances, but she just lacks a bit of the capacity for understanding here I guess. Maybe I'll set her right one day.

In the meantime, I am so excited to be on this journey with you all! I will be looking forward to seeing everyone at the start line in January. And even if I don't manage to finish my first marathon, the important thing is that I tried - and I can always try again. But everybody's got to start somewhere, right?

Honored to be in the company of athletes like yourselves,

 

[Disneefun]

As a "mostly walker" who only throws in some running intervals for the heck of it, here's how I see it. They guy/girl who finishes first gets a trophy and maybe a check. EVERYONE ELSE, whether they finish second or 25,000th (as long as they finish within time) gets the same medal and certificate. Since only one person can "win" and I'm not in it to win, I really don't care (beyond the personal thrill of getting a better time than last year) where I finish. I've done the same distance as everyone else, within the stated time limits and rules as everyone else, and I get the same reward. End of story. It doesn't matter how I get there, as long as I get there.

I get to say I've done a marathon (I don't say I've run one b/c that's not true) because I have done it. 26.2 miles is the marathon distance. To my knowledge, no one has ever said or passed a rule that it's only a "true" marathon if you run it. 26.2 miles is 26.2 miles and as long as you finish within the stated time limits and comply with all the rules of the event as set by the organizers, you've done a marathon.

Think of how many people in the world never even toe the start line. How many say "I'd like to do a marathon, but..." and never get past the buts. Just by getting to the line you'll have done more than most will ever do and when you finish you'll have done more still. Your friend should look at you like a sister in a fraternity, not like someone beneath her notice. Since neither of you are in it to win, you aren't a "threat" to one another. Having done it before, she's in a position to help you and give advice and that would be a far better position to be in than that of belittler. If it were me, I would tell her that the next time she starts ragging on you. If she can't be that sort of friend, I would have to seriously rethink the friendship, but that's just me.

 

[cobbler]

Wow, this thread came at a good time.

I just told some members of my family that I was going to run my first race - the ToT 6.5K to get my feet wet because I was going to run the 1/2 in 09. Some people thought it was great and thought it would be neat.

Others basically said I wouldn't do it because I just don't have the dedication or some other kind of negative insult. Of course the ones that were more vocally negative are overweight and out of shape. Not that that means anything but, well, you understand.

What I can't wait to do is come back with my medal. And while this isn't much better of me, I can't help but to feel this way, but kind of show off the medal like rubbing salt in their wounds.

Long history with these family members.

 

[Tiger Lily 03]

...I can't help but feel disheartened by the fact that it feels like she (who is a more 'serious' runner) is looking down on me and anyone else who walks/run-walks as being less deserving or less accomplished...I am honestly trying to embrace my penguin self and be proud of being the best me I can be, but it's feeling a little difficult at the moment.

Does anyone else deal with naysayers in their real lives like this? How do you shrug it off?

feeling a bit blue,

Oh have you come to the right place!

First of all she is not a more "serious" runner--she is not. She is an elitist snob.

Please do not give anyone permission to make you feel blue. You are doing it! You are finding that you are an athlete! You are!

The person should be told to stop being an elitist and embrace that there are others in this world. Actually, I may offer that the number of hours us penguins put in to get through to the other side of the line are not any less a struggle than the person who gets there before us. Tell this person that you will certainly not be in their way, they can go first, but you plan to go too! You will have much to be proud of as you take this journey. You will earn the medal and will be just as deserving of this medal as anyone who will cross that line.

This bump you have encountered is just that a bump along the way to find that athlete in you.

It is worth saying one more time for me. Please do not give anyone permission to make you feel blue. You are doing it! You are finding that you are an athlete! You are!

Now go out and put in your steps so you can get to the other side.

 

[windwalker]

Here are a couple of walkers finishing a 5K, the race. Looks like they are taking it seriously to me.

http://bgrr.com/photos/04PurpleStrider/IMG_0096.jpg

Dave

 

[Moonie]

Oh man, thanks Dave! That pic ROCKS! I oughta whip it out anytime anyone tries to give me flak over my pace!

Thank you Lily for all the cheers and friendly reminders of my own athleticism (and everyone else here's!) I'm feeling lots better about things now, and so happy to be in such good company with you all I did end up telling my friend something like what you said, that the race that I am able to do and the race that she can do are not and will never be the same (nor should they be), but that there is room for both of us on the road!

Disneefun, your logic makes perfect sense to me. In fact, I think a little of what was going on here was that she hasn't done a marathon yet (she's currently training to run a half) and so she was a little put out that I, who have not been an athlete for as long as she has, took the step to sign up for one first.

Tell all those family members to watch out, cobbler, you and I are gonna prove all of 'em wrong!

 

[tinkerbell of winter]

Here are a couple of walkers finishing a 5K, the race. Looks like they are taking it seriously to me.

http://bgrr.com/photos/04PurpleStrider/IMG_0096.jpg

Dave

That pic is awesome! Every journey is an individual one, we all take different steps to reach the end.

So here is my story....When I ran/walked the Boilermaker this July in Utica i'll admit, I was apprehensive before I started. I am not slim and trim by any means and I kept thinking to myself that I was the most overweight person on the the shuttle bus out to the starting line, but everyone was nice that I encountered. At the start line I was lucky enough to meet a woman from Buffalo whose husband was running as well, he was in a faster corral, while we were all in the gray corral. She kind of ended up being my running buddy during the race, we would catch up to each other throughout the race. During the Boilermaker there was so much to see on the sidelines, people were cheering you on as if you were elite runners, even though you were at the tail end of the pack. It really was encouraging. As I was running I was just enjoying the experience of it all, I wasn't worried about my time, and I was just having fun. I ended up finishing the 9.3 miles in 1:56:06, which I was extremely excited about. I had a goal to finish in under two hours (which I didn't think I was really going to do), and I did! The point to this all is that your race is YOUR race, your experience is an individual experience, and how YOU feel is what matters most. The Boilermaker was one of the most fun things I have ever done in my life, who knew running 9.3 miles could be so much FUN! I wasn't first, I wasn't last, and I had a great time doing it!