Lack of Carseats/Common Sense VENT

[mjkacmom]

The mom with the twins only has 1 car which her husband uses. All of last year she would walk with the twins bundled up in the double stroller. She was walking in the beginning of the year until she met another mom who now picks her up. Most days she does leave the twins home with her mom but if her mom isn't home she brings them. She had them with her today but I didn't see if she was walking or not because they were playing in the playground when I left.

So why do 2 moms need to go? My gf is pregnant, with 2 kids in elementary school. I'll drive and pick up her dd's as well as my own.

 

[tiggger1]

So why do 2 moms need to go? My gf is pregnant, with 2 kids in elementary school. I'll drive and pick up her dd's as well as my own.

I have no idea! I would love the option of not having to take my 3 year old out in the freezing cold!

 

[bumbershoot]

My step dad never wore a seatbelt. His first wife was killed in a car wreck. The seat belt cut the artery in her neck and she bled to death.

My first stepfather's father owned a towing company on the CA coast. My stepdad saw so much nastiness in his teen years from cleaning up those messes that he installed belts in our classic car that was grandfathered in to not need belts.

Your stepdad needs to take a step back. He was part of an exception. Far far more people get killed because they are NOT wearing proper belts than those who were part of exceptions.

I had friends in grad school who had a baby. They were taking a long trip in their van, and the baby needed to nurse. The dad, for whatever reason, refused to stop the car, so the mom got the baby out of the carseat and nursed the baby on her lap in the front seat. Just at that time, they got into an accident. The carseat went out the window and landed in a way that would have probably killed a baby sitting in it.

They took it to mean carseats are useless.

But the reality was...the carseat wasn't installed correctly. And with the baby's weight in it, they can't say that the seat would have landed like that.

And without the last 15 minutes of hungry baby screaming and noticing your wife crawling back to get the baby, would he have been more aware of the road and conditions? If they'd pulled over, they would have missed whatever caused the accident entirely.

Their emotions of being in an exception have taken over; and the same happened with your stepdad.

A properly fitting seatbelt wouldn't have done that. That is where he should have directed all of this; at the industry that uses a 5'7" female/5'11" male as the way to fit a belt, when many people don't fit those ranges. Thankfully now you can get things to help the belt fit. Thankfully now there are many cars that allow you to adjust the seat WAY up so the car fits you better.

He should focus on those new things, rather than the absolute fluke of an accident combined with a poorly fitting seatbelt.

Sorry for your step father but why is it that whenever a seatbelt issue comes up someone crawls out of the woodwork with an " I knew someone who was killed by the seatbelt" story? Statistically that is not the case.

Because when you're part of an exception, it's emotional. It can feel like a sign. And I don't think the OP brought it up to say "don't wear a seatbelt", but rather just to show the feeling behind such a decision.




OP, I'd tell the cop that it's illegal, and if he doesn't do anything I'd take it higher. If I were in such a situation, I might let the cop know that I'd be happy to testify in court that he knew of the illegal situation and let it continue, if something happened to those children.

 

[Grandmax3]

My first stepfather's father owned a towing company on the CA coast. My stepdad saw so much nastiness in his teen years from cleaning up those messes that he installed belts in our classic car that was grandfathered in to not need belts.

My Dad was the same.He bought a new 1957 Station Wagon and paid to have seatbelts installed/front and back/ we were required to use them also. We were definitly the exception and kids that we picked up alot had never seen seatbelts in cars.

 

[5 for WDW]

OP, I just wanted to ask if you were sure the officer is an actual cop? I am a school crossing guard and to look at me in uniform you would not know that I was not a cop. My uniform, to the T, is the same as a cop's. Minus the gun belt of course but, with our winter coats they can be covered.

I have been mistaken for a cop many, many times. Even without my coat.

Anyway, I am not saying you are mistaken, just curious. It may be why nothing is being said. I will say though...I would probably be stopping the car to say something. As well as have an officer there at pick up the next day to get on it.

As for the woman without the carseats...one of my biggest pet peeves!

 

[tiggger1]

OP, I just wanted to ask if you were sure the officer is an actual cop? I am a school crossing guard and to look at me in uniform you would not know that I was not a cop. My uniform, to the T, is the same as a cop's. Minus the gun belt of course but, with our winter coats they can be covered.

I have been mistaken for a cop many, many times. Even without my coat.

Anyway, I am not saying you are mistaken, just curious. It may be why nothing is being said. I will say though...I would probably be stopping the car to say something. As well as have an officer there at pick up the next day to get on it.

As for the woman without the carseats...one of my biggest pet peeves!

No its a real cop. He come in a cop car with lights flashing! The school pick up area is on a very busy main road and there are no stop lights. With the people coming out of the shopping center across the street its kind of dangerous. He is at the entrance directing traffic.

 

[C.Ann]

Isn't that child endangerment? Maybe a call to the Child Abuse Hot Line is in order - since the police officer who is standing right there doesn't seem to be interested in doing his job..

 

[laurie31]

Well first of all I did not crawl out of the woodwork. Secondly, I was trying to express why some people might not wear a seatbelt. My stepdad always said that he never thought something like that could happen until it happened to Liz (his first wife). My stepsister was driving the car at the time and pulled out in front of another vehicle. The police officer who worked the scene told my stepdad that due to Liz's size she would have been better off just wearing the lapbelt and put the shoulder strap behind her. The shoulder strap laid across her neck where it shouldn't have been. Even kids booster seats come with a piece you can use if the shoulder belt lays in the wrong place on a child's neck.

When I read your first post, this was my first thought. This is why it's so important for kids to stay in boosters until the seat belt fits them right. A seat belt that comes across the neck cannot protect you and can definitely harm you. Now, most cars have adjustable belts so you can make sure the belt comes across the shoulder, where it can hold you in place.

As for the situation in the OP- wow, no words. All someone would have to do is barely rear-end them in car line to get the air bag to deploy, and then she's looking at her children suffering serious head and eye injuries. If you don't have enough seats in your car for everyone to ride safely, then you don't carpool!

 

[Jsme]

I wonder if this mom realizes that most accidents happen within a 10 mile radius of your home?

 

[safetymom]

As someone who worked with parents and policeman about car seats and seat belts I can tell you that many of them are not educated about proper use.

Most accidents happen within 3 miles of home. 80% of people use their car seats incorrectly.

Of course there will be those policemen that insist that the deceased person would have been alive if they have put the shoulder belt behind them. The truth is the crash may not have been survivable no matter what they had done. SEAT BELTS SAVE LIVES.

Children should also not be sharing a seat belt. That is very unsafe.

Believe I have every excuse in the world why they didn't want to wear a seat belt or use a car seat. I would always ask them what they would tell their children when they got older and were disabled?

We had a rule when my kids were younger the car didn't move unless everyone was in a car seat or seat belt.

 

[golfgal]

The whole safety issues aside, how in the heck do you drive with two kids on your lap??

 

[Art 1]

The whole safety issues aside, how in the heck do you drive with two kids on your lap??

Good question, it's not uncommon to see people driving with a dog on their lap. What are they thinking.

 

[tiggger1]

The whole safety issues aside, how in the heck do you drive with two kids on your lap??

She isnt the driver she is the passenger.

 

[Carly_Roach]

All you can do is make good choices for your own family.

This. It's not up to us to police the world or second-guess the officer on the scene.

Hard not to be judgemental.....

Actually, being judgmental is a way of life for many people. They try to cover it up with all sorts of good reasons, but what it really comes down to is that people are addicted to sticking their noses into everyone else's lives instead of tending to the messes of their own lives.

Being judgmental is a habit - a lifelong one - that many can't seem to break. If I had to choose between which habit is worse: smoking or being judgmental? I'd be hard pressed to define a difference. Both are detrimental to the actor and the one being acted upon. Both diminish the enjoyment of life to those in the immediate surroundings. And both are hazardous to your health.

No its a real cop. He come in a cop car with lights flashing! The school pick up area is on a very busy main road and there are no stop lights. With the people coming out of the shopping center across the street its kind of dangerous. He is at the entrance directing traffic.

May I suggest that maybe the traffic involved on this very busy main road coupled with trying to watch over 100's of small children as they run out of school takes priority over enforcing the occasional misdemeanor of a child not in a safety seat?

I think I'd rather have a police officer enforcing the speed limits and safety laws around the school (which affects hundreds of tiny souls) instead of spending time enforcing an occasional child-seat law breaker (which affects only two tiny souls). I suspect there are 100's of parents of those children who would agree with me.

And finally, since none of us are the officer on the scene, all this gnashing of teeth about child safety seats is merely second-guessing on the OP's part, and third-hand story Monday morning quarterbacking by the rest.

 

[HoneyPooh]

Being judgmental is a habit - a lifelong one - that many can't seem to break. If I had to choose between which habit is worse: smoking or being judgmental? I'd be hard pressed to define a difference. Both are detrimental to the actor and the one being acted upon. Both diminish the enjoyment of life to those in the immediate surroundings. And both are hazardous to your health.

Being a little..oh..I don't know..judgemental there don't you think? I really am not getting where people being concerned for the welfare of two little 2 year olds is a bad thing. These kids don't get to chose how they are transported they depend on the "adults" to care for their safety. There are two parents in a car who are transporting the children in an illegal and possibly life threatening way and neither the parents nor the police officer who sees this at least twice per week seem to care. It does make you go hmmmm. Personally I would be sticking my big nose in here and finding out why the officer isn't saying something to these woman about proper restraints and enforcing it.

 

[laurie31]

This. It's not up to us to police the world or second-guess the officer on the scene. Actually, being judgmental is a way of life for many people. They try to cover it up with all sorts of good reasons, but what it really comes down to is that people are addicted to sticking their noses into everyone else's lives instead of tending to the messes of their own lives.

Being judgmental is a habit - a lifelong one - that many can't seem to break. If I had to choose between which habit is worse: smoking or being judgmental? I'd be hard pressed to define a difference. Both are detrimental to the actor and the one being acted upon. Both diminish the enjoyment of life to those in the immediate surroundings. And both are hazardous to your health.

May I suggest that maybe the traffic involved on this very busy main road coupled with trying to watch over 100's of small children as they run out of school takes priority over enforcing the occasional misdemeanor of a child not in a safety seat?

I think I'd rather have a police officer enforcing the speed limits and safety laws around the school (which affects hundreds of tiny souls) instead of spending time enforcing an occasional child-seat law breaker (which affects only two tiny souls). I suspect there are 100's of parents of those children who would agree with me.

And finally, since none of us are the officer on the scene, all this gnashing of teeth about child safety seats is merely second-guessing on the OP's part, and third-hand story Monday morning quarterbacking by the rest.

Using your logic, we also shouldn't care/get involved if a child is being abused or neglected. After all, it doesn't affect US. It's only one tiny soul.

Also, to be horribly practical, without considering the priceless value of life, and the emotional impact, consider the hospital bill for one unrestrained frount seat passenger left as a ventilator-dependent quadriplegic. Over 1.5 million for the intial hospitalization, plus untold hundreds of thousands for life-long care. This affects ME. My taxes, the cost of MY health insurance. (I am much more concerned about the disabled child than the money, but I wanted to illustrate that serious preventable injuries do affect society as a whole).

Or consider the impact on the occupants of a car not directly invovled in a wreck but an unrestrained two year old comes flying into their vehicle. And yes, you can be thrown through the windshield at speeds as low as 25mph.

 

[TwinsinCA]

We have had a few cases of people blatantly disregarding the seatbelt/carseat/front seat laws during pick up and drop off at our school.

I guess it bothered enough people that someone called the cops and we had a cop sitting in the parking lot for a few days catching those offenders. I wasn't one of the ones who called, but I'm glad someone did something about it.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I really am not getting where people being concerned for the welfare of two little 2 year olds is a bad thing. These kids don't get to chose how they are transported they depend on the "adults" to care for their safety. There are two parents in a car who are transporting the children in an illegal and possibly life threatening way and neither the parents nor the police officer who sees this at least twice per week seem to care. It does make you go hmmmm. Personally I would be sticking my big nose in here and finding out why the officer isn't saying something to these woman about proper restraints and enforcing it.

First of all, just like all emotional torch and pitchfork reactionaries, you're not reacting to the facts. I just re-read all the OP's posts and no where does she say this happens two times a week at least. The impression I got was that this happens occasionally. Randomly. Once in a while. For all we know, this may have only happened once.

Secondly, being concerned for children and going out of your way to make sure you make someone else's life as miserable as possible until he/she does what you want him/her to do are two VERY different things.

ETA - OP I would find an print an article about a child who was killed by an airbag and give it to the cop.

I am a ratter--I will rat people out.... I would strongly consider reporting it to the police dept of the crossing guard cop so that they are aware that people are doing this and perhaps a stake out would be in order to flag parents who do this.

I would stop, and I really would, and ask the police officer why he is not issuing a ticket. Then depending on his answer I would call his Sergeant.

OP, I'd tell the cop that it's illegal, and if he doesn't do anything I'd take it higher. If I were in such a situation, I might let the cop know that I'd be happy to testify in court that he knew of the illegal situation and let it continue, if something happened to those children.

It's always been my opinion that people who are truly concerned about something don't stand around and talk about it; they actually inconvenience themselves enough to get involved. And I'm not talking about a phone call to tell someone else to do something. People here are telling about what they'd do to a relatively soft target - "the cop" - instead of making a scene at where "the crime" is actually happening.

Do you honestly think "the cop" doesn't have a clue about the law? And do you really think raising a stink with "the cop" is going to stop this young mother from doing what she's doing? Because if you do, then you're badly misleading yourselves.

If the OP wants to solve the problem, then the next time she sees this happening she needs to actually inconvenience herself, get out of her car, stop traffic and the flow of everyone else's day, and save those two babies by making sure "the cop" either secures the children or calls CPS to take them away from their mother. THAT will solve the problem.

Everything else is just talk. Which is cheap. And usually meaningless.