Know any good pirate or cruise jokes?

[trstno1]

I could use a few good jokes for the upcoming cruise. I'll start it off with one my young girls like:

Why did the mermaid blush?

Because she saw the pirate/cruise ship's bottom.

 

[flexsmom]

What's the pirate's favorite fast food restaurant? AAARRRGHHHrby's

How much did the pirate pay to have his ears pierced? A Buck-an-ear

 

[LadyZolt]

Along the same lines -- this one has to be spoken, not spelled, but of course I have to spell it out here:

Question: Why does Ariel where sea shells? ("C" shells)
Answer: Because "D" shells were too big.
(Kind of need to be old enough to "get" this one, but I heard it on the Jungle Cruise ride at WDW and about fell out of my seat!)

Question: What kind of movies do pirates like?
Answer: The ones rated "Aaaargh!"

 

[Buckeye Gal]

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."

The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."

"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."

"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them pooped in my eye."

"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird poop!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

 

[Buckeye Gal]

(I found this one on the web)

1. Pluto had an "accident" on Deck 3.
   
2. Room service using Aladdin was getting out of hand.
   
3. Exterminator killed off "rat" problem only to discover they were Mickey and Minnie's cousins.
   
4. Drunken dispute between Donald and The Mighty Ducks over who was mightier.
   
5. Charo kept showing up.
   
6. The Beast from "Beauty and the Beast" kept eating the midnight buffet.
   
7. The Seven Dwarfs vandalized the ship after failing to meet the "You Must Be This Tall to Ride This Ride" Requirements.
   
8. Stench of seawater and 101 Dalmations was too strong.
   
9. Tour guide Goofy goes into drunken rampage and uses Chip and Dale as Shuffleboard discs.
   
10. New hires Doc, Isaac, and Gopher quit days before launch citing that this job is not as "exciting and new" as their last one.

 

[gardengirlco]

What does a pirate say when he has a heart attack?
Arrrrggh! Me heartie!

How does a pirate greet a prostitute?
Yo Ho.

What's a pirate's favorite socks?
Arrrrgyle.

What Star Wars character is really a pirate?
Arrrrggh-2 D-2!

 

[Buckeye Gal]

Q: Why don’t pirates get carpal tunnel syndrome?
A: because they practice Arrrgghonomics

Q: What do you call a pirate that skips class?
A: Captain Hooky!

Q: How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
A: a buccaneer

Q: What has 8 arms and 8 legs?
A: Eight Pirates

Q: Why does a pirate's phone go "beep beep beep beep beep"?
A: because he left it off the hook!

Q: What do you call a shaking pirate ship at the bottom of the ocean?
A: a nervous wreck!

Q: Why did the pirate cross the sea?
A: to get to the other tide

Q: What's a pirate's favorite DreamWorks movie?
A: MadagascARRRRRRRR

 

[Mumph39]

Q. What's a pirates favorite pizza topping?
A. Pep aargh roni

Q. What's a pirates favorite class in school?
A. Aaarrrgt

Q. What does a pirate say when he takes over Santa's job?
A. Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of rum