I've read through this thread with interest; good for Kirstie for making the most of who she is at this moment!
I have no problems at all with the word fat, but then I'm part of a crowd who has reclaimed the word fat and we don't look at it as a negative term; much, I suppose, as the gay community reclaimed the term gay and have made it somewhat mainstream and not really an insult any more. The only people I know who consider gay an insult are those who are homophobic.
My fat friends and I use the word fat regularly, and more as a term of affection than anything. (as in, "Hey, fat girl! How's it going?") I think by doing that, we've taken the sting out of term as an insult. I mean, it would mean as much to me to be called a fatty by a stranger as it would to be called, say, a brownie because I have brown hair.
I know that isn't easy--we're trained to believe fat is bad and ugly. It takes a long time to be able to embrace the word, and even longer to accept our fat bodies as something beautiful and not something to be despised.
Just thought I'd throw that in here.
Fat & Happy,
BK