Kids Moving?

[LuvOrlando]

I may be a lone voice but unless it was absolutely necessary i wouldn't move my kids at those ages (NEEDING a job would come under the necessary heading). My DH and i have been talking about this ourselves a lot lately because I love and miss NYC, apartment prices are at an all time low and DH could easily get a much better job in the city. There is no doubt that the cultural benefits and magnet schools would be a million times better than where we are now, in the suburbs. But the fact is that my kids support systems are here. When drugs & promiscuity roll on through my kids will need solid relationships to lean on to pull them through. Maybe I'm in the minority but most of the kids I knew who fooled around with drinking, drugs and fooling around young got started when they were switching friends from 8th grade into high school... I knew a few who went into rehab the summer before high school. Girls are extremely cliquish from the age of 10 on so unless your kid is one of those spectacularly gifted social butterflies her ability to get and maintain friendships will suffer. I know this probably isn't what you want to hear but it's exactly the same conversation my DH & I have every time we look at how cheap a 3 bedroom in NYC is right now Bottom line is I'm just not willing to take the chance but only you can decide what you are or aren't willing to do, each family is different and each circumstance is different.

On the bright side, DH and I are hoping to get to our dream location when the kids hit college in few years and are REALLY hoping the kids like NYU in the Village because I would really, really, really like an apartment there .. something to look forward to I guess.

good luck with your decision.

 

[golfgal]

I may be a lone voice but unless it was absolutely necessary i wouldn't move my kids at those ages. My DH and i have been talking about this ourselves a lot lately because I love and miss NYC, apartment prices are at an all time low and DH could easily get a much better job in the city. There is no doubt that the cultural benefits and magnet schools would be a million times better than where we are now, in the suburbs. But the fact is that my kids support systems are here. When drugs & promiscuity roll on through my kids will need solid relationships to lean on to pull them through. Maybe I'm in the minority but most of the kids I knew who fooled around with drinking, drugs and fooling around young got started when they were switching friends from 8th grade into high school... I knew a few who went into rehab the summer before high school. Girls are extremely cliquish from the age of 10 on so unless your kid is one of those spectacularly gifted social butterflies her ability to get and maintain friendships will suffer. I know this probably isn't what you want to hear but it's exactly the same conversation my DH & I have every time we look at how cheap a 3 bedroom in NYC is right now Bottom line is I'm just not willing to take the chance but only you can decide what you are or aren't willing to do, each family is different and each circumstance is different.

On the bright side, DH and I are hoping to get to our dream location when the kids hit college in few years and are REALLY hoping the kids like NYU in the Village because I would really, really, really like an apartment there .. something to look forward to I guess.

good luck with your decision.

WOW, you hang out with some interesting people if everyone you know has problems like this. I know of NO ONE that has had issues like this because they moved . Moving isn't the issue with these kids-the rest of their life IS.

 

[aprilgail2]

Was talking to an acquaintance at the high school. I remember when her husband was out of work for a long time. She told a story where he was offered a good job but it would require them to move. Their teenaged daughter said no and "wouldn't let them". Blew my mind. He turned down the job.

.

My father was offered a promotion when I was in 10th grade and my brother was in 11th grade. We live in NY and the job would have been in the state of Washington!! . My brother would not go he was going to stay with a cousin until he graduated from high school and if he was not going then I was not going- I had a friend that would let me stay with them until I graduated. My mom said if we were not going then she was not going.....so here we stayed in NY.... My dad never really seemed to upset about not taking the promotion but we were very happy staying here! We would have "let them" move but we were not going with them!
Personally I would not move my child unless it was a matter of eating or starving but that is just me- some people like moving or think its fine for their kids.

 

[mhsjax]

I may be a lone voice but unless it was absolutely necessary i wouldn't move my kids at those ages (NEEDING a job would come under the necessary heading). My DH and i have been talking about this ourselves a lot lately because I love and miss NYC, apartment prices are at an all time low and DH could easily get a much better job in the city. There is no doubt that the cultural benefits and magnet schools would be a million times better than where we are now, in the suburbs. But the fact is that my kids support systems are here. When drugs & promiscuity roll on through my kids will need solid relationships to lean on to pull them through. Maybe I'm in the minority but most of the kids I knew who fooled around with drinking, drugs and fooling around young got started when they were switching friends from 8th grade into high school... I knew a few who went into rehab the summer before high school. Girls are extremely cliquish from the age of 10 on so unless your kid is one of those spectacularly gifted social butterflies her ability to get and maintain friendships will suffer. I know this probably isn't what you want to hear but it's exactly the same conversation my DH & I have every time we look at how cheap a 3 bedroom in NYC is right now Bottom line is I'm just not willing to take the chance but only you can decide what you are or aren't willing to do, each family is different and each circumstance is different.

On the bright side, DH and I are hoping to get to our dream location when the kids hit college in few years and are REALLY hoping the kids like NYU in the Village because I would really, really, really like an apartment there .. something to look forward to I guess.

good luck with your decision.

Wow, are we the only 2 people in the history of man that want to retire to NYC. lol. I have only been there 1 time and I love it. I keep telling the kids that they need to go to NYU, so I can have a reason to visit or live there.

 

[JessicaR]

It sounds like the move is a plus+ - kids adjust. Your decision ultimately you are the parents and you know best. Make that decision.

 

[mhsjax]

Thanks everyone for the advice. This move isn't about putting food on the table, that would make it so much easier. It is strictly a choice. Well I guess I have a little while longer to think about it some more (like I haven't enough already).

We will be going up this spring to visit like we do every year. Maybe we can make a decision by then.

 

[abdmom]

I moved my family last year during the summer. Oldest DS was entering 8th grade, DD was entering 6th grade and youngest DS was entering junior kindergarten.

I had taken 3.5 years off working after ds4 was born and dh died. I looked for a new job between years 2 and 3, but couldn't find a thing. The big house was costing a fortune to maintain and there was no family nearby. I decided to move us to where I grew up which was 1000 miles and a border away.

DS13 vowed that there was no way on earth he was going to move. He was furious. He complained loudly and often. DD was not happy. I bought DD a puppy and promised DS that everything would be OK (he already had a dog ).

Within 2 days of moving, DS13 astonished me by apologizing for putting up a fuss. He really liked his new home - 50 years older and 1/2 the size of our previous home.

When I was in my early teens, my dad brought up the possibility of moving - within the same city, but about 8 miles away, to be closer to his work. New schools and friends would be involved. I said NO WAY. We didn't. Funny thing, when dh and I bought our first house, it was in the neighborhood that dad had wanted to move us to. It's also where I decided to live when I moved back.

So - IME- the kids will definitely adjust. Decide what is best for you and your dh, and that will be the best for the kids.

 

[LuvOrlando]

WOW, you hang out with some interesting people if everyone you know has problems like this. I know of NO ONE that has had issues like this because they moved . Moving isn't the issue with these kids-the rest of their life IS.

Funny, I always wonder how interesting it is that you seem to have lived such a life that you find everything so rosey all the time. Guess we just come from 2 distinctly different places.

I don't know that the people I know are more interesting than normal really. I just tend to think my own particularly messed up childhood and my openness about it makes me accessible to other people, which makes them open up more. Truth be told, a person would have to go REALLY far out there to actually make me raise my eyebrows in surprise. I suppose a person like you might not invite confidences about the uglier side of life, I know if we met in real life our conversations would be strictly sunshine, butterflies, landscaping, how great the kids are and pets. It's all about the audience and what you hear depends on who you are.

No flames though, the world would be a bore if we were all the same. The world needs people like you

FYI, I can assure you absolutely every one of my stories is true. No need to make stuff up, the real world is quite interesting enough all on it's own.

Wow, are we the only 2 people in the history of man that want to retire to NYC. lol. I have only been there 1 time and I love it. I keep telling the kids that they need to go to NYU, so I can have a reason to visit or live there.

It may be true. I totally miss all flamboyant colors of city life, the suburbs are wonderful to raise kids but it's not for me forever.