Kid's Commitments (a vent)

[Dancind]

My DD, almost 12, is involved in a performing group at her dance studio. It's been a pretty big deal, with lots of practices, costume purchases, and numerous performances. The second dance competition the studio committed to is this Saturday, DD is in four routines. One of the routines is a ballet, choreographed for five girls. We found out last night at a performance that one of the girls won't be able to make it Saturday. The girl's Mom called the studio and told the owner that her daughter had been selected for a competition chorus and has a mandatory practice Saturday morning at 10. Very casual about it apparently. So, four girls will be dancing the ballet choreographed for five (and you can tell). The girl is in another number too, though I haven't seen it. You know, when my DD commits to something, I make sure she follows through. Don't you guys do that too? Diana

 

[Claudia1]

YES! IMHO, that is a life skill to be learned. If they continue with this lack of committment in the adult workforce, their job could be in jeopardy.

DH is involved with a local summer circus program. They state, up front, that you must be at practices and all performances. Only illness, family emergencies, and minimal scheduled absences are allowed. No other practices or activities are "excused".

The kids learn to make a choice. Not everybody can handle the schedule. The result is a finely-tuned performace that is internationally known. The kids also learn that attendance and practice yield positive results.

Good luck with your program. So sorry that your DD will suffer from her peer's lack of committment.

 

[CathyCanada]

That is so unfair to the rest of the girls in the performance. I'm sure they will be wonderful in spite her empty spot, but not a good lesson to teach that girl IMHO
CC

 

[PammyK]

I'm curious as to when this girl found out about her mandatory chorus rehearsal. If she just found out about it this week, I think it is completely unreasonable for the choir to expect that the students will not have prior commitments on such short notice. There should be some leeway to allow her to perhaps miss a portion of the rehearsal in order to fulfill her prior commitment. Especially if it a local school sponsored activity, I'd contact the choir director and let him/her know how this is impacting the other girls in the dance group. You don't need to give the girl's name but the director should be informed of how such short notice affects other people.

Of course, if this girl and her mother knew about this conflict for several weeks and just decided to tell the dance teacher now, then she should be dismissed from the particular performing troupe and someone else who understands the meaning of commitment should replace her. It may be harsh, but eventually she will need to learn that there are consequences to her actions and that her decisions don't just impact her, they impact those around her as well. After all, your daughter and her fellow dancers were counting on her and now she is letting them down.

I'm very sorry for your daughter and I am sure that she and her fellow dancers will perform wonderfully.

 

[DStar4cup]

My daughter does competition cheerleading and I don't allow her to do any other sports because she made a committment to her team to be at every practice and competition. I feel the same way as you do. My daugher has several girls on her squad that don't show up for practice the whole week before nationals. Makes me very very frustrated

 

[Beauty]

Yes I definatly agree with you. We are running into this problem right now with Baseball and Bible Drills. Our baseball coach does not attend a church regularly and schedules practices on Wednesday afternoon. I told him up front that J.C. does Bible Drills and Wednesday night is their practice times so J.C. will be at Baseball until about 5:45 and then he has to leave.

Its so hard when kids want to be involved in so many overlapping things.

 

[LindaR]

I've had the same problem, too. A long time ago there used to be a girl in my daughter's ballet class who constantly joined and quit ballet. She was also taking gymnastics. She would rejoin ballet 2 months before a performance (so that she had a part in the recital) and then quit afterwards. This was repeated many times (recitals are twice a year). I finally said something to the teacher about how unfair it was to the other kids who attended class twice a week all year long and that she was not setting a positive example about commitment by allowing this to happen.

I think it just took a parent speaking up (in a polite way) to let her know that she needed to take a stand on this issue.

 

[Talking Hands]

I have 2 girls who were very active in music. Orchestra, chorus, church choir, pageants, etc.
Performances and competitions always took precidence over a rehearsal if scheduled at the same time. Directors were given notice of conflicts well in advance. If a conflict came up at the last minute. Oh well, the performance or competition had first priority not the last minute rehearsal.
More than one director was told that their lack of planning did not constitute an emergency in our book.

 

[FOJMO]

I come across this continually in community theatre. When I audition for a play/show, I do so knowing what the rehearsal schedule will be as well as the performance dates. I won't get involved in ANYTHING else, so as to be at every rehearsal, barring sickness.

Invariably, there's half of a cast there at any given time, and someone ends up reading/singing their part, or you stand there talking/singing to thin air! It's exasperating. I tell my DD (17), don't get involved if you can't make the commitment!