Kids and "hand me down" clothes

[luvmarypoppins]

Well I told ds 13 that I was giving his old coat to the clothing drive tomm. because he told me it doesnt fit him anymore. I told him to go in the closet and pick out one of 3 coats that were his older 2 ds. One cost over $100 and is in really good shape. Well, since he is ds #3 I get the usual I never get anything new etc. I do try to buy him some new stuff, but I told him coats are expensive and I cant see spending money on a new coat just for him and he will be the only one using it. Do your kids give you grief about wearing their siblings leftovers? Its his b day in a little while so I will maybe get him some stuff or let him pick out stuff, he usually likes what I pick out anyway. I guess he also gets a double whammy so to speak because they all go to private school and he gets stuck with all their old uniform stuff too, but I did buy him new shirts and pants this year, he just has their gym stuff now. How do you handle this?

 

[DVCLiz]

If it were strictly a budget question, I'd explain that I didn't have the money to buy three new items for each child, but I'd try to make sure he got to have the "new" item as often as his brothers did. If sizes of clothing precluded his having anything new in that area, I'd find something else he could get "first."

If I had the money, I'd let him decide what he was willing to "recycle" and what he needed new. And I might give him a little financial incentive to re-use some of his brother's things instead of buying something new.

 

[disykat]

So far my 10 year old has not objected to hand me downs. I've always told him he gets MORE clothes because he gets a lot of his brother's stuff plus new stuff of his own. Heavy coats + pants I've just automatically handed down if they are in good shape. Shirts we go through and he chooses which ones he wants and the rest go to Good Will. I tend to buy him his own light jacket because those are worn for so much of the year.

 

[tiff211]

DD2 almost 3 will not to wear DD5's old clothes anymore. She tells me they are her sisters. I pick my battles so I didn't fight that one and went to Target and bought her own clothes. She does not however mind grabbing DD5's underwear and puting them on. Of course they are HUGE on her!

 

[minniecarousel]

Yeah - I gave younger DS stuff his older brother wore - but I always bought him new stuff too. (I'm the youngest of three girls in a family of eight children! let's just say that for budgetary reasons: I wore hand-me-downs!) I would look at all the clothes younger DS had & realize that we needed to weed stuff out - & he STILL has a closet full of clothes and he hasn't lived here for years!

Funny story: I never bought them dress shoes unless it was for an "event". When my brother got married, I took younger DS to the Goodwill Store to look for a pair of shoes for him - he was helping me look, turned a pair of shoes over, looked at the soles and said "Mom, these shoes are used!" so funny - I never realized that he didn't know about the Goodwill Store!

 

[barkley]

my dd wears lots of boys clothing (tshirts, sweats) and if they are in good shape when she outgrows them they are laundered and ds gets them a couple of years later. he does'nt mind it, in fact he is know to go into his sister's closet and borrow a larger shirt to wear on occasion.

i empathize with the coat situation, they are so darn expensive! coats get recycled in our house as well. i usualy buy dd a boys coat because they seem to be better made (and the ones in pastels get filthy so fast!) so they too get passed on.

i had a co-worker who had issues with her dd and hand me downs. one year she got tired of arguing with her so she sat her down and said "o.k. here is what is budgeted for your clothing this semester-here is what you need in the way of clothing". they made a trip to the mall, and when her dd saw how little her budget would buy and how she could get more of what she liked if she took on some of the costlier items as hand me downs she was much more receptive to the practice.

 

[Tuffcookie]

Wanna hear a good one???? I saved alot of oldest DS's clothes even before I had youngest DS, 18 years later. Two winters ago, youngest DS was finally big enough to wear his big brother's hand-me-down coat!!!

TC

 

[janette]

I was able to use hand-me-downs for only a few years. My girls are very different builds so it has really limited what we can do. Right now the younger one wears bigger shirts than her older sis.

 

[hdecker]

For many years younger dd wore alot of older dd's clothes, but if we could find clothes that matched in their sizes, we always bought them. They loved matching. Now DD14 is 6 inches taller and 40 pounds lighter than DD15, so there is no hand me downs or clothes matching for them anymore - oh well, I guess thay had to grow up someday!

 

[Rex Rules]

Unfortunately we only have one DD and don't really get hand me downs. We do pass them to my younger nieces.

I do buy some things for DD at consignment shops and she doesn't mind that at all, she is just more interested in having things she likes than where they come from. She has things from the Limited Too, but just a few pieces and she doesn't *demand* them - she has things from Target that cost a fraction of the Limited Too's cost and she loves those items just as much, more in some cases.

As for myself, I was the oldest in my family and among my cousins, so I never got hand me downs, unless you count the ones from my older boy cousins and let me tell you, I was not at all thrilled about that.

 

[MrsNick]

I understand the reason for hand me downs, and I wore my sister's hand me downs. But, I think maybe a special shopping trip for the younger sibling who wears mostly hand me downs could be kind of a nice thing. I guess if you can find out which hand me downs, or which kind (i.e. jeans) of hand me downs your child doesn't mind wearing, vs. which kind he does mind wearing, you could focus that special shopping trip on just a couple of those items, so he doesn't feel left out. I imagine that for a kid, it must feel like watching everyone else open presents on Christmas, and not having any of your own to open. It's always so tough to balance budget with the intangible value of wanting to make your kid feel included.

 

[CherCrazy]

Mrs. Nick you have a great response.

We try to do the same thing with our youngest son. He got TONS of hand-me-downs from his older brothers.

Sometimes you make them feel special and not lost in the crowd when they get their "own" things.

 

[jonestavern]

She does not however mind grabbing DD5's underwear and puting them on. Of course they are HUGE on her!

Jean

 

[dismom9761]

My DD8 wears alot of hand me downs.Mostly dress clothes and shirts/sweatshirts.He doesn't mind too much because he gets all new pants(older brother wears a reg.and he is a super slim) and a few other things.In fact I buy Lands End coats because they never wear out.
I am only saving the really nice stuff for my second DD.My older one wears size 8-10 and the baby is only in 18 mths.I don't have the smaller sizes because I didn't think there would be anymore.

 

[Lyn5]

I was the youngest of three girls, so I always had "hand me down" clothes. We went to Catholic schools and wore uniforms....so by the time I wore them you could see the places in the hem where my mother had raised and lowered it for my sisters. Although as a teenager I would have wanted more/newer clothes, I guess for me I accepted that is how it was. I don't think for us it was a budget buster...it was more of not wasting. I can now appreciate that my mom saved money on clothes so we could do other things. Now, I hardly buy clothes for DS and DD since they get hand me downs from my sisters' children (and I occasionally still get clothing from my sisters that I will wear without hesitation). When my kids out grow the clothes, I give them to our former babysitter for her grandchildren/great grandchild. I think you are giving your son a wonderful lesson in life. I agree that if you can, it would be wonderful for him to choose a few items that are popular and/or new, but hopefully, even as a child, he can see that sharing clothing frees up money for doing other things.

 

[aprilgail2]

DD2 almost 3 will not to wear DD5's old clothes anymore. She tells me they are her sisters. I pick my battles so I didn't fight that one and went to Target and bought her own clothes. She does not however mind grabbing DD5's underwear and puting them on. Of course they are HUGE on her!

I was getting hand me downs from my sister for my almost 6 year old daughter but this year she decided that wearing clothes that someone else wore was "icky and gross" so we compromised..she will wear the hand me down coats and snowsuits and everything else I will get her new. She is pretty picky about what she wears, when we shop for clothes everything has to be tried on to make sure its not -itchy, hard, to tight, to loose, etc....so its best to buy her her own things anyway. I do tell everyone for birthdays and holidays no clothes though since i know it will be a problem getting her to wear them!

 

[Galahad]

My sons are both bigger than me. I get hand-me-downs from them.

 

[Mskanga]

My youngest one gets hand me downs from my friend's daughter and my oldest daughter. Right now she has like 30-40 tops in the closet , 15 pair of pants , 4-5 dresses , and 4 winter coats and a gazillion hats and gloves. She also got hand me down ski equipment ( well not really , I paid for it but it was my friend's ). She doesn't care if the clothes were someone else's before ,but she gets some new stuff too every now and then.
My oldest gets some hand me downs from another friend whose daughter is a couple of years older and she usually likes what she gets from her.
My opinion is everyone does what works for them.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

My oldest, DS11, likes the hand me down clothes from his cousins. They are 17 and 15. He thinks their clothes are so much cooler than anyone else's clothes at his school.

His best friend's mother asked me the other day where I got his NIKE coat. I told her I had no idea, that it was a hand me down. She couldn't believe it because it looked brand new.

Lori

 

[minkydog]

My kids never minded hand-me-downs as long as the clothes were still in style. I grew up in a poor family and we either made our clothes or wore handed down clothes. My middle sister(#3 girl) hated those hand-me-downs. To this day she will not wear thrift store items, nor will she buy her kids clothes at a yard sale. She would rather have fewer clothes than wear hand-me-downs. She is an excellent seamstress, btw.