Kids and Grades

[DisneyOma]

I prefer not to have to read between the lines. As long as they have a track record of not getting grades into the system on a timely basis, I have no interest in looking and trying to figure out what is a 0 for a real reason, and what just hasn't been updated by the teacher yet. But I have highly encouraged my kids to take ownership and check the system on a routine basis to see what is missing (since they know right away looking at the system what is legitimately missing and what isn't). We're on our 3rd high school student and I still haven't gotten a password for the system.

As long as you are fine with not knowing, and don't blame the school for your lack of effort, that's OK. It's when parents don't try, and then blame the school for stuff that I get a little huffy - you can't have it both ways.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

How this got thread got so far out in left field just don't know.

.

Welcome to the Dis.

 

[Poohlove]

Welcome to the Dis.

It seems to be really out of hand lately, maybe it's me. It's kind of sad.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

It seems to be really out of hand lately, maybe it's me. It's kind of sad.

The discussion didn't really go off topic though. Some people said it didn't make sense (which you've since cleared up) and others gave their point of view as to how it could. It wasn't a discussion on about the main part of your post but it wasn't apples to oranges or anything

 

[mom2rtk]

As long as you are fine with not knowing, and don't blame the school for your lack of effort, that's OK. It's when parents don't try, and then blame the school for stuff that I get a little huffy - you can't have it both ways.

Oh, I'm not blaming the school for anything. It's not like I'm out of touch. I just ask my kid how she's doing and expect an honest answer. Did the same with my boys and it worked fine.

However, I do still contend that it would be nice if teachers would email parents with kids who are failing, especially the younger students still adjusting to high school. An email doesn't take that long to send, and I'd like to think a given teacher wouldn't have THAT many students flunking at once.

 

[Poohforyou]

All, trust me, there wasn't a mistake made and not everything was weighed the same. It was last year. A lifetime ago for a high school student.

My daughter squeezed by with an A in the course. She would have just missed an A if her teacher had dropped her lowest quiz grade. It was calculated multiple times by multiple people and everyone got the same results.

With an A in the course and a 4 on the AP exam the details don't matter any more.

 

[Poohlove]

I think what people were saying didn't make sense was the post about someone's daughter(?) who took a quiz and her overall grade went down. My only reason for posting this was to see if anyone had similar experiences with inaccuracies and online grades because it seems pretty common in our district.

What I feel was off topic was the back and forth about how the situation should be handled and what I should be talking to DD about, etc. How one person handles a situation, no matter what it is, is going to be different from how someone else would handle it. I don't see why it needs to turn into a debate every time and even worse speak (post) with such superiority over others. I've seen a couple of the same posters on various threads who take an argumentative stance regardless of the topic and it's just getting old. Like I said before, maybe it's me but I don't care for it and when I see these particular names just usually just move on.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

We had issues with a false 0 in DD's class last year that took forever to correct. She did get on the teacher several times (ALL the students had zeros, teacher was just behind entering grades). The issue started mid 2nd quarter, wasn't corrected until several days after the semester ended.

 

[Hikergirl]

I think what people were saying didn't make sense was the post about someone's daughter(?) who took a quiz and her overall grade went down. My only reason for posting this was to see if anyone had similar experiences with inaccuracies and online grades because it seems pretty common in our district.

What I feel was off topic was the back and forth about how the situation should be handled and what I should be talking to DD about, etc. How one person handles a situation, no matter what it is, is going to be different from how someone else would handle it. I don't see why it needs to turn into a debate every time and even worse speak (post) with such superiority over others. I've seen a couple of the same posters on various threads who take an argumentative stance regardless of the topic and it's just getting old. Like I said before, maybe it's me but I don't care for it and when I see these particular names just usually just move on.

That is the nature of a discussion board. When you start a thread, or even comment on one, everything and anything you say is up for discussion.

 

[Shanti]

DD16 is a junior in high school, our school does have a website which you can log onto and check your child's grades. Some teachers are great about entering grades, others not so much. The school sees this as a replacement for direct communication with home and most teachers will not reach out to parents, I have been told by more than one of them that they feel it is the parent's responsibility to follow along online and reach out to the teacher if they are concerned. The teachers are "too busy" and have "too many" students to do it themselves. (I have 2 family members who are teachers in our district as well as several friends, it was through casual conversations that this came up) Mind you we are a two square mile town with about 450 kids in the high school. My daughters graduating class hovers around 110.

Last marking period I checked in on DDs grades weekly and they were all good, she checks them almost daily as well. Aside from 1 zero and a 68 (70 is passing) on 2 assignments for her history class her remaining 15 grades for that class were all 80 and above. While I was perturbed that she had a zero and a 68 I wasn't concerned for her overall grade. Imagine our surprise when her report card arrived and she failed history with a 68. Mathematically I just don't see how it is possible. I have a call in to her history teacher and her guidance counselor for clarification.

Has anyone had similar experiences?

I'm an elementary teacher and we do progress reports midway through each grading period. Not every school does, though. Middle school and up, students are supposed to become increasingly independent and take responsibility for their grades, so teacher-led contact to parents about grades begins to gradually decline as students progress through middle and high school.

Some grades are weighted more heavily than others. If she earned the 68 on a major project or test, that could help explain the failing grade, and a zero is naturally very problematic in an average, but you should definitely conference to figure out how their grading system works and what caused the problem. A system error is possible, but unlikely.

 

[runwad]

Meh. Some kids are troubled. Some kids don't care. Some kids would be fine just flunking out of school. Some kids at this age are vulnerable to bad decisions that could ruin their lives.

This is where the adults come in to play. Sometimes parents have to get involved in their teen's life.

Yep my son could care less. Luckily he's a good student B average, but he's smart should be getting A's. He's a sophomore. We have an online portal. I set alerts that will send me an email if he misses an assignment. I then let him know about it to go talk to his teacher and either turn it in or find out what happened to it. About 50% of the time, he didn't hand it in, or the teacher didn't record it. I was just in there tonight looking at his grades getting irritated to see that he had extra credit opportunities that he could have done to bring his grades up, but uh, what's the matter with B's he says. Ugh, I'm glad he's the last one!

 

[Shanti]

colleges and universities will admit you without a high school diploma if you are a "mature student" (over 21), and obviously once you have your undergrad, no one's going to care whether you finished high school.

Which colleges and universities do this? There are several in my city, and they all require high school completion.

 

[Poohlove]

I'm an elementary teacher and we do progress reports midway through each grading period. Not every school does, though. Middle school and up, students are supposed to become increasingly independent and take responsibility for their grades, so teacher-led contact to parents about grades begins to gradually decline as students progress through middle and high school.

Some grades are weighted more heavily than others. If she earned the 68 on a major project or test, that could help explain the failing grade, and a zero is naturally very problematic in an average, but you should definitely conference to figure out how their grading system works and what caused the problem. A system error is possible, but unlikely.

I'm not sure of the number of the post but somewhere up thread I stated that all grades were weighted evenly. There was in fact an error and it has since been corrected.

 

[Shanti]

I'm not sure of the number of the post but somewhere up thread I stated that all grades were weighted evenly. There was in fact an error and it has since been corrected.

Glad your problem was solved.

 

[Magpie]

Which colleges and universities do this? There are several in my city, and they all require high school completion.

Ontario, Canada.

http://www.rainsberger.ca/blog/univ...nto-university-without-a-high-school-diploma/

I know people who've taken similar routes to the ones described above.

 

[Shanti]

Ontario, Canada.

http://www.rainsberger.ca/blog/univ...nto-university-without-a-high-school-diploma/

I know people who've taken similar routes to the ones described above.

I'm American, so I suppose that accounts for the different types of schools in our respective areas.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I think it was a pretty good discussion. Interesting to see how different schools and teachers operate, and how parenting styles come into play. I think some posts do cross over from "this was my experience" into a "judgmental tone" of "this is how you should do it", and sure, this can seem offensive when it's our kids we're talking about, but I think it's probably just posting style more than anything (and if not, who really cares? ).

We have two freshmen in college. Our school system used an online system since middle school. We did have a couple of instances of wrong grades being entered and kids either noticed it themselves (especially DD) or DH (who followed online) noticed it and kids addressed it with teachers. I don't recall us ever having to get involved, at least not in the later HS grades. (In MS and early HS DS needed some nudging.) We did meet teachers at Open House at the beginning of the year and developed a "plan" then of dealing with any issues, which was primarily to say how to contact them, when they were available for extra help, etc. There were a handful of times where I wrote to teachers about something that wasn't resolved by our kids, or that I wanted teacher to know about, and they were appreciative of getting that feedback.

I don't think most kids automatically wake up and know how to handle things. It's a learning process, and the time to learn how to deal with issues is in middle and high school, before they get to college (although lots of learning still takes place in college). So I think it's ok to help guide them, if need be. Some kids don't need it; others do. It's interesting to me how, here in this thread, quite a few posters justified if their kid needed extra help that it was because of a "learning disability" or something similar. What about those kids for whom it's just a personality quirk or maybe anxiety or something? Are those kids just left to flounder? (And I also agree with the ONE poster who said that waiting too long could be a problem.) At any rate, I think it's not a black and white issue of whether to either let your kid absolutely handle everything themselves, or to do everything for them, etc. There can be middle ground where kids take the lead with parents as back up teaching them how to handle things.

And just to address the one comment I saw about grades in college after age 18. Yes, legal issues there about access. But most parents I know with kids in college - especially freshmen, which is where we are right now too - either have their kid add them on as ok to see grades, or have their kid give them their password in order to eyeball grades from time to time. Going to college is a huge investment and they want to see that their kids stay on track. At one of the college Open Houses we attended last year the administrator speaking made a big point of students getting help BEFORE it's too late in the semester; before they drop out, etc. Not all kids do this. They don't see a way out and don't take advantage of services that may be offered - why, I'm not sure, but maybe it's that they either don't know about them or are too embarrassed to go or something. This is where a parent may step in to help guide. Nobody else may be aware of the problem on a bigger scale. (DD and DS are both fortunate to be in college programs where there are mentors who help them stay on course.) I'm sure there will be people here that disagree with that, and say let them flunk out, they have to learn, and I don't completely disagree. But I know when I was in college I had no help or guidance and made a lot of mistakes. Did I learn, sure I did. But it also cost me a great deal of time and money, way more than it should have or that I could afford at the time. (And it goes without saying that today, with costs as they are, it's even harder to make those types of mistakes.) I am not completely opposed to my kids making mistakes, but I think it's also important to help them see that there are things that can be done if there are problems; that there are lots of resources and people who want to help them succeed at college. YMMV

 

[sam_gordon]

Some posters don't agree and that's fine, we don't all have to agree, but I reached out to the teacher. My daughter did try and talk to her but she said that the teacher really wasn't giving her direct answers so I stepped in. The end result, she actually had an 80 in the class, all of her grades carry the same weight, the teacher made a calculation error. It has since been corrected.

I think the bolded is key. I was one of those advocating for the student to talk to the teacher, not the parent, but I don't have a problem with the parent stepping in if the student isn't getting answers. I don't think anyone was advocating parents should NEVER communicate with teachers.

I'm glad things worked out.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Thanks for the update, Poohlove!
That is good news!

Yep, this thread is way over the lines....
But the poster who mentioned it, yes, 'welcome to the DIS'.

There are two or three VERY HOT topics where this is guaranteed to happen.
Education ( Teachers -vs- Parents) is one of them.
It got so bad at one point that many here were refusing to even discuss the topic, (especially those on one particular side) and that is what really doused the flames for a while.

PS: Just to continue the conversation... I do not think that an online computer system that may or may not be correct, and may or not even be updated in a timely manner, is enough. Teachers might have a lot of wishful thinking that this should be true... But, sometimes, when something seems off, yes, it is time to handle it the old fashioned way... you know.... face to face.

 

[Magpie]

It's interesting to me how, here in this thread, quite a few posters justified if their kid needed extra help that it was because of a "learning disability" or something similar. What about those kids for whom it's just a personality quirk or maybe anxiety or something? Are those kids just left to flounder? (And I also agree with the ONE poster who said that waiting too long could be a problem.) At any rate, I think it's not a black and white issue of whether to either let your kid absolutely handle everything themselves, or to do everything for them, etc. There can be middle ground where kids take the lead with parents as back up teaching them how to handle things.

Anxiety comes under "learning disability", imo. If you have psychological issues that are preventing you from functioning in a school environment, then you have a learning disability.

Also, all kids need to learn to stand on their own two feet, at some point before they become adults (if they are ever going to function independently, that is). So, I really do think that parents should be falling back into a coaching role by high school, if at all possible. Obviously, each kid's needs are different and they mature at different rates. And no kid should be left to flounder!

Ideally, the foundation for independent action (ie, such as being able to approach the teacher themselves to try to address a problem, in the way Poohlove's daughter did) will have be laid well before high school.

My son is dyslexic (dysgraphic/LD-NOS/etc) and struggled with anxiety in middle school, to the point where he was breaking out in rashes and we had to have him see a psychologist. He had a laptop for his work, and was encouraged take his exams in a private room (though he resisted that, preferring lower grades over the appearance of doing things differently). And yes, at one point in grade 8 I made up a homework binder for him with extra large spaces to write in, and a place for each of his teachers to sign off. Fortunately, his teachers were very supportive of him and we all worked hard to get him on track academically by grade 9. He was in the gifted program, and was able to continue through high school doing advanced and AP courses.

I would not expect your average eighth grader to need this kind of intervention. And all of it was aimed at giving him the tools to be independent, so that in the long run he wouldn't need us any more. It was always about providing the bare minimum of support for him and expecting him to do as much for himself as he was capable of. He's graduated now. It took him almost a year to get his disability status sorted out at his university, and yes, it would have been SO tempting to just march down to the student center myself and get it all done. But he's a man, and if his grades in first year were a bit lower than they needed to be... that's his problem. We've done our best to give him all the tools he needs, and now it's up to him to use them.