Keeping a house that's too big?

[zippingalong]

I guess I'd just like some opinions.

My DH and I had both been divorced when we married and had 5 children between us. We bough a new house that would fit everyone. Our home has 6 bedrooms, 4.5 baths, a large eat in kitchen, large family room, library, dining room and an inground pool in the back yard. It's over 3000 sq feet.

Fast forward, several years later. We've kept the house through the recession, and because we bought so long ago, and because we're in a very desirable neighborhood, we're still sitting on over 6 figures in equity. We're refinanced to today's rates (refinanced last December) and in good shape to have the house paid off prior to our retirement.

Now, we've got a big decision to make. We're down to one 16 yo DD left in the house. She's in tenth grade. We need to decide if we want to put the house on the market in the next 1-2 years and significantly downsize. I'd like to make that decision sooner rather than later, because I'd like to do a 15 year mortgage on the new house and again, be paid off well before retirement. I see us going to 3 beds, 2-3 baths and more like 2000 square feet. (I'd be ok with 1800 if the floor plan was good)

Anyway, DH is pushing for staying put. Our home was built new, and it's the way we want it. We could realistically shut off the upstairs and keep the heat/cool turned low as our bedroom is on the first floor. The two of us totally live just on the first floor and never go upstairs unless we need to go to DDs room.

I'm kind of feeling like we should sell. I'd like something smaller, maybe a bit older in an older neighborhood that I could fix up and it would be our final house...But, I can't come up with a real reason (other than I'd like to be more towards the center of town) to go through all the hassle.

WWYD?

 

[cvjw]

Are all of your children in the same city as you? The reason I ask is because my parents are in one state, and my sister and I in another. We both are married, with children (and pets) now, and all going home for Christmas/holidays/visits at the same time is very challenging with the size of my parent's home.

Will your kids and their eventual families be coming home for the holidays in the near future? Will you all fit in a 3 bedroom home? I guess some could stay in a hotel, but my family prefers to all be together when we can.

 

[Skatermom23]

We are empty nesters and know too many people who have downsized only to regret it. At first, it seems wonderful but then the kids start getting married and having kids. Before you know it, you don't have room for everyone to come visit. So many of our friends are now looking to buy a larger home to accomodate everyone.

 

[nunzia]

Just my opinion, but I would not want to deal with a house that size and having a whole floor just sealed off waiting for future visits from kids wouldn't be enough to lose that empty creepy feeling. We have an 1800 sq ft house and when all are together we number 17 and it works OK for the most part..yes, not all can spend the night here but we work around it and are very content having our paid off home ready for retirement.

 

[rigs32]

Won't your equity continue to grow? (We hope.) Why the rush to downsize? Might you be able to do so at retirement and buy a house for cash? I agree that kids and their kids are less likely to visit if they are sleeping on couches or having to get hotel rooms.

 

[DawnM]

We have been going around and around about this for a few years. Although our decision also includes moving closer to 90% of our activities and DH's job as well as downsizing.

Part of why we have held off is because moving is EXPENSIVE! Houses don't sell FSBO well here and realtor fees are 5% or so of the sale price......that is really high! Add to that paying closing costs, etc.....and we are looking at paying the cost of a nice car.

The other thing I worry about is moving somewhere where we have bad neighbors. Here we have excellent neighbors and our complaints are minor.

It is a hard decision!

Dawn

 

[Marionnette]

I guess I'd just like some opinions.

My DH and I had both been divorced when we married and had 5 children between us. We bough a new house that would fit everyone. Our home has 6 bedrooms, 4.5 baths, a large eat in kitchen, large family room, library, dining room and an inground pool in the back yard. It's over 3000 sq feet.

Fast forward, several years later. We've kept the house through the recession, and because we bought so long ago, and because we're in a very desirable neighborhood, we're still sitting on over 6 figures in equity. We're refinanced to today's rates (refinanced last December) and in good shape to have the house paid off prior to our retirement.

Now, we've got a big decision to make. We're down to one 16 yo DD left in the house. She's in tenth grade. We need to decide if we want to put the house on the market in the next 1-2 years and significantly downsize. I'd like to make that decision sooner rather than later, because I'd like to do a 15 year mortgage on the new house and again, be paid off well before retirement. I see us going to 3 beds, 2-3 baths and more like 2000 square feet. (I'd be ok with 1800 if the floor plan was good)

Anyway, DH is pushing for staying put. Our home was built new, and it's the way we want it. We could realistically shut off the upstairs and keep the heat/cool turned low as our bedroom is on the first floor. The two of us totally live just on the first floor and never go upstairs unless we need to go to DDs room.

I'm kind of feeling like we should sell. I'd like something smaller, maybe a bit older in an older neighborhood that I could fix up and it would be our final house...But, I can't come up with a real reason (other than I'd like to be more towards the center of town) to go through all the hassle.

WWYD?

My neighbors were empty-nesters for about a year. Then their daughter moved back...with her husband, the baby and 2 large dogs! Their son has to sleep in the basement when he comes home from college. I don't see them downsizing anytime soon.

 

[elaine amj]

The way I see it, downsizing could add a very very nice chunk to your retirement fund.

I dream of downsizing to a nice luxury RV. The money we would make off the sale of our house could buy a very nice RV and several years of retirement.

I don't know if we would do it when the time comes - but financially, its really enticing. We could even retire a few years earlier than planned!

 

[disneymomto5]

I have a similar sized house as you. Bought new, exactly the way I wanted it, nice pool, etc. I have 5 children, 1 out of the house, 2 in college and 2 still have a ways to go (elementary and middle school). I have had some of the same thoughts as you, but my parents downsized once and talk about doing it again...After 30 years of all living close together we moved and now visiting is a real stresser. That's not how I want it to be, but crowding us all in her house is hard and so we always cut our visits short. I think I'll keep my house for awhile, for visiting children, grandchildren. If you have alot of extra money, I'd hire a maid, that's what I'm planning on doing!

 

[estherhead]

We have a big house too. Our kids are still small (3 kids 5-12) but it's still too big for us and I got sick of cleaning it and wanted to sell, just as the housing market fell. So instead we have spent the last few years turning half of it into a beautiful apartment that can either be a separate apartment or part of our house. It was genius! We don't advertise, just people we know who need a temporary spot or something. It's probably full 9 months a year. Income! And I don't have to clean it. And when my kids reach their teens (soon) we plan to turn the kitchen/living room of it into our bar/family room and my dh and I will move into the bedroom suite.

It was my mom's suggestion and she's brilliant! They have done the exact same thing to their house. Currently have a family living in their wheelchair accessible basement, giving them extra income. And if my parents ever need it, they can move down there and either my sister or I can move upstairs and take care of them.

It has been stressful remodeling. But well worth it. And any extra money we earn goes right back to the mortgage/remodel projects.

 

[Belle & Ariel]

We are in the same position. We have 5 bedrooms, 4 baths, and a finished basement. Our 2 girls married in the last 3 years and son is away at college.
We listed and only had 4 showings in 5 months. Homes in our price range just are not selling.
It was listed at $50,000 less than city appraisal and about what we paid 8 years ago. We have a 15 year mortgage and with paying extra each month it should be paid off when we are about 55 or less if we stay.
We were on computer last night and for about $30,000 to 50,000 less than what we hope to clear we will get a home of 2500 square feet--we have 4900 now. We like newer construction and they sell for more per square foot in our city.
I do not think it makes sense to move but at the same time it is crazy to heat and clean this house for just us. We have large rooms and big furniture that will not fit in a lot of homes we look at.
We have almost an acre and are not real excited to be on a postage stamp lot where you sit at your kitchen table and look into neighboring homes.
Typing this convinces me to stay here---until the day I clean bathrooms or get gas bill!!!

 

[Iott Family]

The way I see it, downsizing could add a very very nice chunk to your retirement fund.

I dream of downsizing to a nice luxury RV. The money we would make off the sale of our house could buy a very nice RV and several years of retirement.

I don't know if we would do it when the time comes - but financially, its really enticing. We could even retire a few years earlier than planned!

Thats exactly the way Id like to do it, too!

 

[Pigeon]

We also have a bigger house than we will need and our oldest is in 10th grade. I wouldn't want to move while the kids are still in high school if I didn't have to.

We'll probably look at moving when we retire. By that time, the kids will be done with college and we'll have a good idea if anyone would be moving back home. We'd probably get at least 2 BRs and a den, so there would be room for visitors. But it doesn't make any sense to heat a house this big for 2 people. I don't want to have that big an environmental footprint.

You could take a 10 year mortgage a little later on.

 

[dis-happy]

I look forward to the day we can downsize...big houses are expensive. Ours is on a 15 yr mortgage due to be paid off in 5 yrs. new heat pump unit was $8k and tha was only one of two systems we have. Property taxes are rising every year. House needs painting which we be another 5k at least (and this is a brick house). And I hate cleaning all this space. (3800 sf). One child is graduated and living on her own, second child ready to go off to school next year. When the third child heads out in 5 more years we will downsize for sure. I have a 3 b/r condo in Hilton Head I want to live in full time. That's the plan anyway....

As for holiday homecomings, it costs a lot less to reserve a couple of hotel rooms than it does to keep up a big house. Plus, I figure adult kids and their families would rather meet up at the beach or Disney.

 

[Marionnette]

We have a big house too. Our kids are still small (3 kids 5-12) but it's still too big for us and I got sick of cleaning it and wanted to sell, just as the housing market fell. So instead we have spent the last few years turning half of it into a beautiful apartment that can either be a separate apartment or part of our house. It was genius! We don't advertise, just people we know who need a temporary spot or something. It's probably full 9 months a year. Income! And I don't have to clean it. And when my kids reach their teens (soon) we plan to turn the kitchen/living room of it into our bar/family room and my dh and I will move into the bedroom suite.

It was my mom's suggestion and she's brilliant! They have done the exact same thing to their house. Currently have a family living in their wheelchair accessible basement, giving them extra income. And if my parents ever need it, they can move down there and either my sister or I can move upstairs and take care of them.

It has been stressful remodeling. But well worth it. And any extra money we earn goes right back to the mortgage/remodel projects.

You have to be really careful about renting out an "apartment" in your home. There are zoning restrictions on multi-family dwellings in most communities as well as occupancy permits and inspections for rental property. Your insurance company may not be too keen on this little secret, either.

Your mother's idea might be "genius" if you do it the right way. Doing it on the sly can create more problems than you want to deal with.

 

[Fyrefly]

If you can afford the taxes I might suggest staying there. My parents were going to downsize, though their house isn't nearly as big as yours, but then my dad questioned why he would take on another mortgage when having that one paid off (about 3 years now) felt so good?!

I think the suggestions about having a place for such a large family to get together are good. And frankly, well we don't want to ever plan for this but the job market is still bad. My cousin had a very small house and when her kids moved out she redid their rooms into a sewing room and a music room for her husband so they would have more space for hobbies. Then the economy tanked less than a year later, her daughter lost her brand-new post-graduation job and there was no place for her to stay long-term at my cousin's house while she tried to get a foothold so she ended up moving in with my cousin's ex. My cousin never forgave herself for that, she felt like she kicked her own daughter out.

I'm not saying you are under any obligation to have an emergency space ready for your kids if the worst happens but I think its something you should think about - decide if you want that option or not because it's much harder to do in a smaller home.

 

[mm1971]

If there is no reason to sell at this time and you are already in good financial shape with the existing house, I would stay in the existing house. AS you suggested, reduce expenses by not using the second floor and turn the heat down and lights off. You can always downsize later and the market may even be in better shape by then. I feel that it is a lot easier to downsize than it is to try to find a house that is what you want later if you decide you prefer the additional space.

We are in a 3BR/2bath and about 2400sq ft and wish we had a little more space or at least a little different layout.

My opinion would be to stay put until you both feel it is in your best interest to make a change. I know my kids sleep at gradma's a lot and the smaller house my mom says she wish she had more space.

 

[disney212]

We are in the same boat but decided to stay put. Our house will be paid off in a few years and we have about 15 years before we plan on retiring at age 59. We thought about downsizing but our taxes and utilities are affordable (we closed off our 2nd floor since no one is using it) and plan on selling and relocating to FL and will use the $ from the house sale to do that. If we sold and started over we figure when we were ready to sell the new house would need an update so there would be those expenses. Our house is 100 years old and although it is modernized on plumbing, electric and such when we remodeled we did so in the older style. Since we did that there will be no reason to do a remodel when we get ready to sell. People that buy in our neighborhood want the "character" when looking to buy.

 

[Pigeon]

You have to be really careful about renting out an "apartment" in your home. There are zoning restrictions on multi-family dwellings in most communities as well as occupancy permits and inspections for rental property. Your insurance company may not be too keen on this little secret, either.

Your mother's idea might be "genius" if you do it the right way. Doing it on the sly can create more problems than you want to deal with.

It may also impact the resale value of the house in a negative way, depending on the neighborhood.

 

[MomToOne]

We've been through several iterations of this sort of thing with my parents in the last few decades.

You may want to stay put until you are closer to retirement (or even until you are into retirement a few years), then sell and buy a smaller house with the proceeds. The reason I say this is because the smaller home that may be "perfect" for you now, when you are in good health, is not necessarily the home that will be right for you as you age. When you are closer to retirement, you might have a more reasonable eye towards what you will need as you get older. For example, my rather stubborn mother insisted on building a 2 story "dream" retirement home. Within 5 years, however, my mother had significant problems navigating those stairs. There were several other issues with it as well. When my father finally got my mother to face the facts that the home just wasn't working for them, he insisted they then buy a one-story home that was closer to family and had a layout that would work should one of them need to be in a wheelchair etc. That wasn't needed for another 7 or 8 years, but it was eventually very much needed.

The other option would be to go ahead a downsize now, but with the full knowledge that you might need to change homes again once you are in retirement. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you are realistic about it going in.