Keeping a bored disabled adult occupied

[2luvmickey]

I am surprised you could fit on that soapbox with me and my sister already up there! Yep, we have gone beyond blue in the face.

LOL!!

Seriously, my sibs and I have been there! Mom is/was the ultimate martyr with my brother. I was told by my brother's social worker that he will age along with my parents. So, before he was moved into his apartment, he was acting like an 80 year old. He's more active now, but still has his lazy moments.

You're right, hopefully this is a wake up call to your mom. I know she only wants to protect her baby, but in the long run, is it really protecting him from what he will eventually face? Plus, I don't know where they live, but there is usually a waiting list to get into group homes or apartments and even qualify for a Medicaid developmental disability waiver. I speak from experience too since all of the states are tightening their belts on these waivers.

As far as things to keep your brother busy, I like the baseball/basketball card idea, or you can even look for football. Target sells trading cards. How about comic books? Just looking at the pictures and figuring out the story line will keep him busy.

Keep plugging away gently with your mom. It's really tough to cut those apron strings for a special needs child. Our parents were the trailblazers for present day parents with special needs children!

My best always...

 

[Juliah]

Any ideas for somethings he could collect? The more collections the better so if he loses interest in one he can go to another for awhile.

What about postcards? They could either be cards that people sent him or cards that he or someone else bought. He could put them in a photo album.

Another thing (that's free!) to collect is business cards. Any time he meets someone, he could ask for their card. Or people could save cards for him that they get from trade shows and the like. Office stores have business card binders that have plastic pages, much like those in photo albums, to collect the cards in.

Disney pins would be more expensive to collect, but I know there are sources for discounted pins (sorry, don't recall specific companies, but I know they've been discussed on disboards). There are also sales on the Disney Store web site from time to time. There are bags available with fabric pages to pin them on, or he could just stick them (after the backs were removed) into a piece of foam core board.

 

[eternaldisneyfan]

My brother collected Pez as a teenager/young adult.

I would suggest trying drawing or painting. People of all ages do that.

 

[phorsenuf]

What about an instrument? Do you think he could handle a small keyboard? I think they make some where the keys light up to play the song. You could plug it in to earphones so others don't always have to hear.

 

[MariDisney]

I've had clients with similar abilities volunteer to fold bulletins and stuff envelopes for their local churches. It is simple, repetetive, pretty hard to mess up, and a bit of giving back. Perhaps he would enjoy that a few hours a week.

Editing to add that someone from the church would probably need to volunteer to drop them off for him and pick up again before services. In my experience there are plenty of people willing to do that. And, that provides a short but sometimes meaningful social opportunity outside of the family.

 

[CleoPahd]

I work in Special Education and teach vocational skills to students between the ages of 13 - 22...some just a mild learning delay, some with severe learning disabilities and or physical disabilities. Gosh, it's so hard when we have parents like yours to deal with. Their heart is in the right place, but it's really such a disservice to the individual in the end. Something EVERYONE gets is junk mail. Would your brother be able to shred? It's a grown up job, but also easy to do. Some of my students love doing this because they feel it's important, but it's also easy and repetitive. We also have students that love puzzles. I second what someone else said about simple paint by numbers projects...if he likes painting.

I really feel for you and your sister because I understand where you are coming from. It's very difficult to get simple readers that don't look too juvenile. They are hard to find, but there are materials out there for easy reading. I have found that sometimes materials for people with English as a second language are more grown up looking, but still simple to read. They will depict simple short sentences and have more mature drawings to accompany them.

I also like the photography idea someone else suggested. You can find some very simple digital cameras now for children. He could take pictures where he goes and start a scrapbook...it's not girly if done right. I like scrap books that have actual scraps of mementos to go with the pictures. If he takes pictures at the hospital, put fliers from the hospital, someone's business card, etc., a receipt from the lunch he ate. This will make it a bigger/more detailed project.

What about collecting quarters? There are so many different quarters with all the different states & American islands now. Some of my kids get a kick out of finding new ones. They have collection tools just for this type of hobby. I wish I could think of more right now.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

He needs something to do! But we just can't figure out what. He has a Gameboy but isn't very good at it so it gets boring fast when you just keep dying/losing. He can't read or do any type or word or number puzzles.

Have you considered leading him towards the Lego-type games? All you do is break apart then you are rebuilt. They are challenging, yet easy to play. We play them as a family - most of them don't require too much hand/eye coordination.

Mahjong is another very popular game in my house - with the matching up of the tiles.

What about painting??? Have you considered any type of art/working with his hands?

 

[mytripsandraces]

What about postcards? They could either be cards that people sent him or cards that he or someone else bought. He could put them in a photo album.

This is a great idea! I'm sure you could get lots of people to send him postcards by making requests on social networking sites like facebook and the DIS. He could even chart where the cards come from on a map.

 

[janey99]

Don't usually read this board, just randomly stumbled across this thread, but -

if his vision is pretty good (and I only say that because at 41, I have to squint and hold these suckers 2 feet away to read them!), can he collect the state quarters that have been in circulation for several years now?

Since the distribution is over, they are well in circulation and easy to find in everyone's every day pocket change, and for more of a challenge, he can collect both sets - the Philadelphia series and the Denver series (one is harder than the other to find all of, depending on what part of the country you are in).

They even have books and folios to mount them in, some of which have picture matching if you think he might have trouble just identifying them by memory.

Good luck!

Jane

 

[Juliah]

What about him making scrapbooks? Scrapbooking is definitely an adult hobby.

It's pretty inexpensive to have photos printed these days, and he could glue them in with a glue stick (they make glue sticks that are safe to use with photos). There are lots of stickers he could add to dress up the pages. Those wouldn't be messy to use, and craft stores put them on sale frequently.

Although you can spend a lot on the blank scrapbooks, I have also seen simple little ones in the dollar spot at Target from time to time, and I am sure there are other reasonably price ones out there.

And after he was finished making the scrapbook, he could spend time looking back through it. He might get a kick out of showing it off to visitors, too.

 

[MemoriesintheMaking]

What about an instrument? Do you think he could handle a small keyboard? I think they make some where the keys light up to play the song. You could plug it in to earphones so others don't always have to hear.

Hi I just found this board today, and I know this thread is old, but just wanted to pop in. We care for my 32 year old brother with cerebral palsy. I think the above idea is a nice one. He could even plug in headphones into the keyboard if they are in a public place. My brother loves music. He used to do this, but grew out of it after a while. But it was a nice hobby for a bit.

Also, my db loves books on cd. Our local library has a good selection, he buys sets that he know he likes and will listen to again, and I can't remember the name of it right now, but I've seen a website that will loan out books on cd, kind of like Netflix but with books. I don't know your db's attention span ability, but it might work. My db loves movies also, especially old classics, and he loves to get book versions of some of his favorites. Just another idea.

I am truly sorry your mom has issues with letting others help. Hopefully, someday she will be able to see that it's actually doing a disservice to all involved - your brother, herself, and you.

 

[jodifla]

How about a Wii??

 

[bookwormde]

MemoriesintheMaking

Welcome

 

[MemoriesintheMaking]

MemoriesintheMaking

Welcome

Thank you!

 

[brat]

an autograph book, the ipad and movies, greeting cards or post cards, the wii, fact flash cards from a teacher supply store, maybe the step by step cards sp. ed uses to teach the order to do things he would do at home. Autographs of news anchors that you e-mail asking them.Photos of family to oraganize.A tape recorder. Floam, a collectable card deck. rubics cube jr. colored pencils or twistable crayons that look more adult.If he is safe with balloons a picture how to book on making balloon animals.lanyard making kit.the make a pair of moccasins kit.books on tape.

 

[CHICKENLEG]

There are some simple games available for the Kindle or Nook but there are also options for the gadget to read to you. I adore my Kindle and have had HUGELY positive reactions when I use it with the little ones I support in school. (I am a paraeducator) It has gotten the most positive response from the little computer obsessed boys. But this might allow your brother to polish some old skills and perhaps even develop new ones. If you go the Ipad route there is free kindle software you can download. Then you could keep him 'stocked' by giving him amazon gift cards, or buying him some of your favorites. There is a lot less worry about it being a 'baby' book if you tell him you love this book & reread it often, though I work in education and all of us read intermediates and everybody books so my take on things is probably skewed.

Your brother really needs a job and I'm sorry to suggest this but you might need to keep this from mom. Maybe it can be his job to bring a bag w/ his games or his Ipad/kindle/whatever, and to also bring Mom a bottle of water. He can watch her for when she needs it and give Mom the water when she needs to be refreshed? You know him better so you'll come up with a more appropriate version of this, but hopefully you get the idea. You say that his behaviors are inappropriate, I would bet that is because his whole world has shifted around. He needs to know where his place in this world is.

If the first 30 ideas you try don't work, go on to the next 30.