Keep Your Kids Home!!

[Hoodie]

Ummm...Mind you I wouldn't bring my kids somewhere if they were sick. And I do think the mom needs to reinforce proper behavior with sneezing and coughing.

But I think you're over reacting.

The fever was over so who's to say that what she had wasn't allergies - lots of kids have allergies this time of year. My kids have been sneezing and coughing for several weeks now. They came down with a fever last week - it lasted a day and was over, but the sneezing and coughing continues over 10 days later - it is just allergies and I'm not keeping them home for allergies.

Plus, Your DD could just as easily have gotten ill from someone not showing any symptoms as many many illnesses come from contact before someone ever shows any symptoms.

Most viruses are more contagious before symptoms occur. Chances are far higher that the kids got sick from someone else at the party who wasn't exhibiting symptoms yet than the coughing child.

 

[2Kds2K9]

I'm the Encampment Coordinator for our Girl Scout SU. Two years ago, a mom sent her DD to camp with a fever. The girl came to camp feeling fine, but at 12noon the fever was back and she was feeling lousy, because the TYLENOL HAD WORN OFF! We called Mom who had to drive 2 hours to get her DD. The Mom stated that she did have a fever when she woke, but was feeling fine an hour later. Yep, the Tylenol had kicked in so mom sent her. I guess that was lesson for Mom.

Poor child felt lousy and I think it was worse for her to come to camp to actually see what she was going to miss versus just staying home and not knowing.

 

[Creativebeth]

Yeah, I am the responsible parent that will get her child when sick, or keep them home.....then I get the letter from the nurse at school that said kid has missed too many days of school, and I could get in trouble for that.....can't have it both ways, I afraid. He actually was sick on all occassions which totaled 5 days and then I got the letter that I needed the doctor excuses from now on.....sometimes it's not as easy as just keeping them home when they aren't 100%....

Beth

 

[BigEeyore]

I have this problem with my very own sister and my little nephew!
She brought him over to my house when my second DD was only 3 months old, and he was clearly sick - coughing non-stop, snot running down his face, etc. The inconsideration she showed for my newborn baby made me furious.
Then, a few weeks ago, she showed up at my house with him, saying he had stayed home from school that day b/c he was running a fever, cough, snot, etc, and could he play for a bit with my older DD? Unbelieveable! She was just sick of sitting around the house with him so she comes to mine.
She gets called all the time to come and pick him up from school - sadly, she is one of those moms that a lot of you have described that go ahead and send their kid just hoping they'll get away with it. The other parents at his school have complained about him always being sick.
So I totally understand OP! I am with you 100%. I do not think it makes you a germaphobe that you want to keep healthy kids separated from hacking, snotty kids!

 

[mjaclyn]

Just want to clarify... the little girl at the party had gotten sick with a fever on Tuesday of last week and as of Friday morning did not have a fever. The party was on Saturday morning so she hadn't had a fever in a little over 24 hours. Also, she wasn't just coughing, she was sneezing as well and not into her hands, tissue, arm or anything else...just out in the open air. The party was originally supposed to be outside but because of rain was restricted to one small room in the home. This little girl was the only one with any type of symptoms, had her hands all over everything (as 3 year olds usually do) and wasn't taken into the bathroom to wash them or given a tissue by her mother who was standing there watching her the entire time. I'm pretty certain they caught this bug from her because both of my children as well as another little girl who was at the party all got sick with fevers last night. My kids and also the other little girl who just got sick do not attend daycare or preschool so it's highly unlikely they would have caught it anywhere else. Could it have been from one of the other kids at the party? Sure...but like I said, this little girl was sneezing and hacking away while none of the other kids had any type of cold/flu/allergy symptoms.

Sorry if I sound like I'm being harsh or judgmental towards this mom, but I only would have liked her to do what I would have done if either of my kids were sick or sneezing and coughing a lot. I would have kept them home. If we're talking about a sneeze here or there...that's fine. Take the kid into the bathroom, wash their hands and show them how to sneeze into their arm. Nothing I don't already do with my own kids. It was very obvious that this was more than that. If it hadn't been, she wouldn't have left the party early.

 

[busyshrew]

For me, I'd have to say it's an age thing.

The younger the child, the more vigilant I am. I won't even cuddle my friend's infants if I don't feel 100 percent - even if I have absolutely no symptoms per se. Why take the chance? And if my daughter is showing symptoms like coughing and sneezing, we most definitely avoid babies. In Canada, to make it worse, we aren't allowed to give children under the age of 2 any type of decongestants / common cold medicines. So if the little ones get sick and stuffed up, there's no OTC help from Tylenol and it's even more misery all around.

That being said, DD is six. She's in school and in so many activities. With her friends and peers - game on! We keep her away for the big three: fever, vomiting and diarrhea. And we only keep her away from friends with those symptoms. Colds, runny noses, sneezing, coughing.... fine, fine... if you're okay with it, I'm okay with it. If I kept her quarantined for those type of minor symptoms, she'd never see anyone and her classroom would be half-empty all year long .

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Why do some parents insist on bringing their children to group activities when they know the kids are sick? DD and DS were invited to a Superhero party on Saturday and one of DD's friends still came even though she'd had a fever and was sick two days before. I know the rule of thumb is if your child is fever free for 24 hours it's okay to bring them around other children, but this little girl was sneezing and coughing up a storm. She was also not covering her mouth but still sticking her hands in the bowls with food, holding other kid's hands, etc. The mom ended up leaving early because a couple of the parents were telling their kids not to hold her hand because she was sneezing. I think she got offended and left... I was surprised to hear some of the parents telling her to stay, that the child only had allergies, etc. I was NOT one of those moms. I tried to keep my kids as far away from her as possible and kept washing my daughter's hands. It obviously didn't help because both of my children woke up with fevers of 101 this morning. I also just found out that one of the other children got sick last night as well with a fever. I'm so annoyed because this could have been avoided. I know that I can't prove that my kids got sick from DD's friend, but it's a pretty logical conclusion since they don't go to daycare and the one of the other girls got sick with the same thing as well. Why can't people keep their kids home??? I know that I do even though I really want to take them somewhere. In this day and age with swine flu and who knows what else is going around you'd think people would be a little more cautious.

Just want to clarify... the little girl at the party had gotten sick with a fever on Tuesday of last week and as of Friday morning did not have a fever. The party was on Saturday morning so she hadn't had a fever in a little over 24 hours. Also, she wasn't just coughing, she was sneezing as well and not into her hands, tissue, arm or anything else...just out in the open air. The party was originally supposed to be outside but because of rain was restricted to one small room in the home. This little girl was the only one with any type of symptoms, had her hands all over everything (as 3 year olds usually do) and wasn't taken into the bathroom to wash them or given a tissue by her mother who was standing there watching her the entire time. I'm pretty certain they caught this bug from her because both of my children as well as another little girl who was at the party all got sick with fevers last night. My kids and also the other little girl who just got sick do not attend daycare or preschool so it's highly unlikely they would have caught it anywhere else. Could it have been from one of the other kids at the party? Sure...but like I said, this little girl was sneezing and hacking away while none of the other kids had any type of cold/flu/allergy symptoms.

Sorry if I sound like I'm being harsh or judgmental towards this mom, but I only would have liked her to do what I would have done if either of my kids were sick or sneezing and coughing a lot. I would have kept them home. If we're talking about a sneeze here or there...that's fine. Take the kid into the bathroom, wash their hands and show them how to sneeze into their arm. Nothing I don't already do with my own kids. It was very obvious that this was more than that. If it hadn't been, she wouldn't have left the party early.

If her fever had passed for 48 hours, I wouldn't be bothered if she was near other children and still "hacking". As long as she could maintain proper hygeine--I'm not about keeping everyone away until they are 100% free of whatever bothers you.

I think it bothers me more about all the germaphobes at the party and that the mom had to leave b/c she was shunned.

I'm more disgusted by your behavior more than hers.

Sometimes all that "hacking" is simply the body trying to clear out whatever--it isn't necessarily that she continues to be sick. But I'm sure all of you parents with medical degrees had a better idea of that child's health.

OP,
You acknowledge that the child had been fever free for at least 24 hours.
You acknowledge that the child had allergies.

Your children had just as much, if not more, of a chance picking up their current virus in the grocery store than they did from this little girl. They don't have to be in daycare to get sick.

Rather than shunning the parent from the party, perhaps handing the little girl a tissue would have been a better idea.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

A little guy in our family has pretty pronounced allergies. When they flare up he looks terrible. Glassy eyes, coughing, runny nose, and sometimes a fever. Nothing that anyone can catch, but he still looks bad.

Determining who "passed the virus/infection/germ" to a given person is pretty tricky business. Kids can pick things up anywhere.

I don't believe that a kid who isn't feeling well should be out in public, however.

 

[iheartjacksparrow]

People send their kids to group activities when they are sick because they are selfish. I love to hear some of them try to justify what they're doing. "But my child must have caught this at school, so I'm sure everyone else there was already exposed!" Never mind the fact that the child might have been exposed elsewhere, or they might have been much closer to the one sick child at school and their classmates might not already have been exposed. Or there's "It isn't fair for my child to have to miss the party, etc." Because it's totally fair for your little snowflake to make everyone else sick, as long as Snowflake is having fun. And then there's the always popular "I can't afford to keep Snowflake home, I have to go to work to earn a living." Because it's fine for you to make the reposnsible parents' kids sick, so they have to stay home, because they are much less important than you are!. People are idiots sometimes.

ETA - As others have pointed out, this child might not have been contagious. If it was really 48 hours since the fever and a cough was just hanging on, it might not be an issue. I have no problem with non-contagious kids being out in public. My son has horrible seasonal allergies and spends half the year with a cough or stuffy nose. It's the parents who try to justify knowingly sending out a contagious child who I have a real problem with!

Alright I'm totally with you when you that if you know your child's sick not to send them to a party, but sometimes parents really cannot afford to keep their kids out of a school for every little fever.

Mind you I work in a daycare, and I get very annoyed when I see kids are starting to get sick and they are at the school..not at home. On the other hand, some of those parents really do have trouble getting off of work and they want to save their time for when the kid gets really sick, or might potentially get a flu and be out for a while, plus if they get sick and need to be out.

I feel so bad for one of the moms at my work, she has to boys and I feel like at least once a month (if not more) one of them has gotten sick with allergies, strep, stomach bug, plus just regular mild sickness with a fever. If this woman took off for every little thing, she'd be out of a job!! And that's not including if she got sick at all...

Then we have another little girl and her parents NEVER take off for her, and she's not even 2 yet!! Makes me esp mad because shes there 5 days a week from 6 am to 6 pm....and her dad is home!! He works part time and goes to school, fine put her in day care, but there is no need for her to be there that much...plus they ask us to babysit on weekends!!

Just be fortunate you're in a good oppurtunity that you have a job where you can afford to take off, or maybe you don't work at all. Trust me, I see both sides to this, as I said with the second incident, but some peope just aren't that lucky

 

[iheartjacksparrow]

It's really just about picking and choosing your battles.
Sounds to me like the little girl was ok, and maybe someone at the party could have made a remark along the line "lets wash our hands before we eat" or someone could have given her a tissue.

I mean, if she had been fever free for as long as you say she was..then I'm sure she was ok. She may have been excited for that party all week long, and he mom may not want to have prevented her from even though she had a fever 4 or 5 days prior to it.

Maybe her mom isnt fortunate enough to be a SAHM all week, and was excited as well to interact with her kids friends, and adults her age.
I mean I wasn't there, I don't know...but there may also be more to her side than you know to, you know?

 

[mjaclyn]

I said that the child's mother thought it was allergies...but I also just found out today that the little girl had been vomiting and I'm pretty sure you don't throw up from spring allergies.

I think it's a pretty big coincidence that both my kids and another little girl at the party all got sick two days after with a fever and vomiting when the original child had a fever and vomiting.

And anyway, the point of all of this isn't to debate whether or not the kid was sick as much as it is to ask parents to please keep your children home if they ARE sick.

 

[Mkrop]

I said that the child's mother thought it was allergies...but I also just found out today that the little girl had been vomiting and I'm pretty sure you don't throw up from spring allergies.
I think it's a pretty big coincidence that both my kids and another little girl at the party all got sick two days after with a fever and vomiting when the original child had a fever and vomiting.

And anyway, the point of all of this isn't to debate whether or not the kid was sick as much as it is to ask parents to please keep your children home if they ARE sick.

Then I am not sure you understand allergies. Both of my guys have horrible allergies and at their worst the stuff is dripping from their nose into their throat and they gag and sometimes throw up. They also sometimes cough so hard bc of their allergies that they gag and throw up. They can be fine one minute and coughing their heads off the next. But they are not contagious at all, and the doctors have confirmed this when I take them in.
I just took DS7 bc he said his throat and chest hurt, I was pretty sure it was allergies but to be on the safe side I wanted him looked at to make sure it was not strep or bronchitis. Nope it was allergies and we had to come up with a new allergy plan.

Now I am not saying this little girl did not spread this around I just wanted you to be aware that you can yack with allergies!

Also stop looking to place blame, kids get sick it is callled life. You will never know for sure if it was this little girl or touching something somewhere else, I am sure your kids are not in a bubble even if they are not in school or daycare. Sure Suzy might have been sick but the real blame could have been on Johnny, you will never know and it is pointless to try and figure it out.

 

[Scurvy]

Alright I'm totally with you when you that if you know your child's sick not to send them to a party, but sometimes parents really cannot afford to keep their kids out of a school for every little fever.

I get that, I really do. But here's the thing - the other parents might not be able to afford to keep their sick kids home, either. When parents insist on knowingly sending their sick kids to school or other group functions, they're making it far more likely that the other parents are going to have to sacrifice their time or money so they can stay home with their children. Or they could send their sick kids to school, and expose more people, and the cycle continues. Then of course the teachers will be exposed, and they have a limited number of sick days they can take. So eventually they are going to have to come to school sick, and they'll be exposing all the students. I've seen both sides, too. As both a parent and a teacher (who isn't teaching right now; I'm back to being a student for now) I've had to stay home far more than I wanted to with my son when he was sick. It wasn't always convenient or easy. But that's part of being a parent. If everyone kept their kids home when they knew they were contagious, it's likely that there would be fewer illness making the rounds of the schools and parties and then people wouldn't have to keep their kids home as often.

 

[iheartjacksparrow]

I get that, I really do. But here's the thing - the other parents might not be able to afford to keep their sick kids home, either. When parents insist on knowingly sending their sick kids to school or other group functions, they're making it far more likely that the other parents are going to have to sacrifice their time or money so they can stay home with their children. Or they could send their sick kids to school, and expose more people, and the cycle continues. Then of course the teachers will be exposed, and they have a limited number of sick days they can take. So eventually they are going to have to come to school sick, and they'll be exposing all the students. I've seen both sides, too. As both a parent and a teacher (who isn't teaching right now; I'm back to being a student for now) I've had to stay home far more than I wanted to with my son when he was sick. It wasn't always convenient or easy. But that's part of being a parent. If everyone kept their kids home when they knew they were contagious, it's likely that there would be fewer illness making the rounds of the schools and parties and then people wouldn't have to keep their kids home as often.

I'm a student and a teacher too

I guess it's one of those things that's just not really a win/win situation.
The cylcle of this problem will never end.....

 

[Ppufi]

If her fever had passed for 48 hours, I wouldn't be bothered if she was near other children and still "hacking". As long as she could maintain proper hygeine--I'm not about keeping everyone away until they are 100% free of whatever bothers you.

I think it bothers me more about all the germaphobes at the party and that the mom had to leave b/c she was shunned.

I'm more disgusted by your behavior more than hers.

Sometimes all that "hacking" is simply the body trying to clear out whatever--it isn't necessarily that she continues to be sick. But I'm sure all of you parents with medical degrees had a better idea of that child's health.

Coming from someone who had a compromised immune system, better to be safe than sorry.

 

[EMom]

All I know is that if I had my 3 y.o. at a party with another 3.y.o. who was coughing up a lung without bothering to cover her mouth and sneezing all over everything in sight, including the food, I would not be a happy camper. Speaking as an asthmatic with more allergies than I can count, I simply do not care if what is spewing out of the kid's nose and on to my kid's food is viral snot, bacterial snot or allergic snot. I merely care that it is SNOT. If your kid has that much "stuff" spouting forth and has not mastered the art of covering the spewage, then expecting them to be kept away from a PARTY is not harsh.....especially when they are fresh off a few days of fever and vomiting.

 

[cinmell]

I work at a daycare in the infant room and Friday we had an 11 month old who had diarrhea and was vomiting. The director called his mother (on her day off) at 10 am to come pick him up, she came at 6:15 Pm when she got done with all her "errands"

Some people shouldn't be parents...

That poor baby! I hope none of the other children got sick.

If the mother didn't come pick up her child when called, I would have then called the dad and/or anyone else on the emergency contact list to come get the child.

 

[Tinkmom75]

I'm a student and a teacher too

I guess it's one of those things that's just not really a win/win situation.
The cylcle of this problem will never end.....

Not until we support each other more and the workplaces realize this and place more emphasis on humans. In the US vacation or PTO can be pretty limited. In a lot of other countries you start right out with more vacation, paid maternity leave, and in some countries Nannies are subsodized by the government. I heard that in Germany each child you have you get 3 years off and you are guaranteed your job back. I'm not sure how pay goes though. The US is the only (I'm not sure if this is the correct word) "rich" country that does not have government mandated paid maternity leave. I read an article on it and Australia now has it leaving the US as the only well off country to not have it.

We want to be independent women, which is great, but until employers recognize these difficulties and do something about it this cycle will not end (as stated in above quote).