Karma? 14 yo boy's parties

[phorsenuf]

I guess thats something you should ask Karma not me, I'm just some woman surfing the web

Fantastic tag!

 

[quentina]

So I'm a bad guy now?

All I asked was would anyone consider the situation to be Karma? No gloating involved. I feel for the boy and even more over the bad decisions he's made over who to have as friends. I hope DS and he do work things out becuase the boy needs guidance the mom doesn't seem to offer. Not saying I'll step in a the mom, just as an adult he can trust if he needs one to talk to.

I really can't get over being the bad guy

I believe it. I am a big believer in you get what you give. If this was me, I would of thought the same thing. Would I be happy that a kid broke his leg, no. Would I think that maybe it wouldn't of happened if he did the right thing by his friends, yes. I believe the OP was asking for an opinion as she feels that Karma kicked in. So, I am going to answer yes. Are both the OP and myself crazy for thinking this way....maybe

 

[Stacerita]

I can't believe there are some on this thread who are saying the kid got what he deserved. What a bunch of hateful people. Sure the kid was a jerk for what he did, but really?...he deserved to have his leg broke?

 

[kbeverina]

I agree. The kid got what he deserved. Things like this always amaze me that the parents let this bully/brat get away with doing what they did! They should be ashamed of themselves and of the son they raised, to condone actions like this.

Your son sounds like a very nice soul for worrying about the boy after what he did. BUT don't let your son totally forget what he did and let it become a pattern that he gets treated like dirt by his so called friends. Help him find kids that will be true friends not just when the "cool" kids won't hang with them.

That's messed up.

 

[robinb]

Regarding DS learning from this, he's learned to be a stronger friend and hang in there when times get tough. Yes, it's possible he gets hurt again by the same boy, but it's equally as possible that the boy may have learned that DS is a friend that will be there when it matters.

No, your DS is learning to be taken advantage of again and again by his so-called "friend". And all the "friend" has learned that no matter how hard he kicks your DS he will come crawling back for more. The "friend" will drop your DS like a hot potato as soon as soon as the "cool kids" look his way . It's sad all around since it seems that the friend looks at the "cool kids" for validation and your DS looks to the "friend" for validation. Personally, I would not encourage a continuation of this friendship. It won't end well. It really reminds me of the abusive and controlling relationships that some young Middle/High School women find themselves in.

 

[Disney Doll]

Yes it was karma. And it's never too early for kids to learn that karma exists.

Sorry, I'm a big believer in people taking personal repsonsibility for their behavior. That kid uninviting your son was atrocious, his parents' behavior even more atrocious for allowing it.

 

[I*heart*MickeyMouse]

KARMA

Please, please, please do what you can to steer your ds away from this "friend" because he is the furthest thing FROM a friend. A 14 year old boy knows this is the wrong thing to do to a friend, and he will NOT "come around" and be your son's true friend. Ever.

"the principle of retributive justice determining a person's state of life (try to get by with a broken leg and no true friends to help him out!) and the state of his reincarnations as the effect of his past deeds (uninviting kids to a birthday party)"

What goes around comes around. He broke your son's heart by uninviting him to the party, and Karma broke his leg in return.

This kid is a butthead and his mother is an even bigger one who deserves TWO broken legs for allowing her son to uninvite kids.

 

[donaldduck352]

I never really thought of karma as "payback" but more of the universe giving you back what you give out- payback insinuates a human hand in things.

I just love the way ya' think!!

I feel the sameway on the KARMA THING.Its all in youre HEAD.You feel guilty,well only you to blame.If they are,sameway!!!!

 

[Sparx]

If you want to philosophically discuss karma in this situation, I feel like the karma-phala (the return you get from an action you produce) would actually be the cool kids hanging out with him just because his party is in a cool place-not because they like him. He caused emotional pain to another, so he will reap emotional pain (which in this situation is the cool kids not liking him even if he bribes them with fun)

 

[omghidanielle]

I have 'friends' who still do this to me, and I'm 25. Some people are just really immature and have their priorities in the wrong places. I'm sorry this happened to your son, I hope that he learns not to depend on this boy, and to also forgive him. This kid may someday be really lonely because the cool kids decided to jump off a bridge together (metaphorically speaking, of course!) and leave him flat, just as he left your son. Guess who's door he will be knocking on then? Probably yours. I had a friend do this exact same thing to me 4 times in the 16 years that I've known her. We are currently 'not actively' speaking because I didn't invite her to my wedding, (hey, she was in her MIA stage, and I have a HUGE family, no room for on-again-off-again compadres) but I know some day she will probably be back again.

I don't make any effort to be friends with people like this, but I am still cordial. It upsets me that my Mother harps on me that I should 'make more effort' because I'm always bored on the weekends when my husband is busy. No thanks!

 

[bumbershoot]

Well, if you're really interested in thinking about karma, then you have to look at your son, and why he was hurt by a friend. Because that's an action/reaction in the universe as well.

When someone does something bad to another, sure, the someone might face up to it later...but they could also be the force in the universe that was causing the "another" to face up to something.

But especially when talking about a kid, thinking about things like that and wondering when the actions were for which you're having bad things happen...well, you have to start talking about stuff that absolutely positively IS religion.

 

[hambirg]

I didn't read all the posts, but yes. . .Karma. And no I don't think it's gloating on your part. I think it is also Confucianism that teaches when you do the right things in life, that life rewards you. When you do the wrong things, then life punishes you.

He surely got punished for doing the wrong thing. I'm kinda bad with my kids that way. Sometimes when they are being ugly with their sibling and they get hurt in the process. . I tell them that God tripped them. It plays out amazingly well! They can be snotting off to me and then stub their toe. Gee. . .I guess God just tripped you for being disrespectful to your Mom. Or sometimes I just tell them that God smacked them on the head, because Mom wouldn't.

 

[bgirldeb]

Well, if you're really interested in thinking about karma, then you have to look at your son, and why he was hurt by a friend. Because that's an action/reaction in the universe as well.

When someone does something bad to another, sure, the someone might face up to it later...but they could also be the force in the universe that was causing the "another" to face up to something.

But especially when talking about a kid, thinking about things like that and wondering when the actions were for which you're having bad things happen...well, you have to start talking about stuff that absolutely positively IS religion.

 

[hambirg]

Well, if you're really interested in thinking about karma, then you have to look at your son, and why he was hurt by a friend. Because that's an action/reaction in the universe as well.

When someone does something bad to another, sure, the someone might face up to it later...but they could also be the force in the universe that was causing the "another" to face up to something.

But especially when talking about a kid, thinking about things like that and wondering when the actions were for which you're having bad things happen...well, you have to start talking about stuff that absolutely positively IS religion.

I don't know about Hinduism. But in Confucianism her son wasn't punished by life. In fact, it might be a reward to learn that this person is not really your friend.

 

[twinklebug]

Just in case the mods decide this thread is ready to be closed/deleted for being a banned topic (it didn't start off that way but I guess the term could be seen as more than just a notion like "luck") I want to thank everyone who participated in this conversation with their thoughts - both positive and negative. Healthy debates allow both sides to be heard.

After considering some of the horrible things I've seen some the best people go through, it seems to me that Karma, if it's there, doesn't control everything in life. My conclusion is that the accident was just that, an accident, and not Karma. This boy has so many other difficult things going on in his life over which he has had no control I just feel awful this happened on top of everything else... but him being home with a broken leg might bring his family closer and hopefully help there.

The boy while speaking with my son mentioned that he should have just shown up to the party anyway. I can't condone party crashing, but something in his words tells me the boy wishes he had left DS's invite as it was. I think there's hope there for the friendship to grow.

 

[twinklebug]

I am not defending what the birthday boy did at all, but I certainly don't think "he got what he deserved" or that it was karma.

In a small amount of defense of the boy, fitting in is very hard at this age. And there is a certain amount of wanting to be accepted by the "cool kids" that goes on. Maybe the "cool kids" found out about his party and said they would attend because of where the party was going to be. He has been trying to fit in and so the un-invite. Doesn't excuse it, but might explain it just a little.

Maybe it will make him realize that he already fits in with a couple of "cool" kids--the op's son and the other boy who are sticking by him.

I wanted to address your comment as it seems to be spot on with this boy. A few years back he moved from a city to our small town where like most towns, being popular is extremely important to most kids.

This boy has been trying hard to be noticed by the "cool" kids to the point he was recently contemplating trying out for football next fall and trying to talk DS into doing it with him. While I'm all for equal opportunity for all kids (my eldest was into the sport all of his school years) for a boy to try out in HS when he's never played the game before is ..... questionable, and most likely will end in pain of one means or another. DS said he'd be there for the boy if he really wants to try out (with 2 broken bones I don't thing it's even a question anymore) But DS refuses to try out himself since he played in Pee Wee and has a small taste of what they go through as well as what the kids are like. To clarify: the "cool kids" I've been talking about, many of them are known bullies & are "star" football players. Scary combo. Makes me wonder if they're bullying this boy.

 

[Mermaid02]

I just love the way ya' think!!

I feel the sameway on the KARMA THING.Its all in youre HEAD.You feel guilty,well only you to blame.If they are,sameway!!!!

Why thank you.

 

[disneybound2010]

I don't know about it being Karma, but the old Irish curse did come to mind...

May those who love us,love us;
and those that don't love us,
may God turn their hearts;
If he can't turn their hearts,may he turn their ankles,
so we'll know them by their limping.

 

[mdsoccermom]

DS (13) has had a friend the same age as him for the last 4 years who'd sit with him on the bus every day. Not the closest of buddies, but close enough ya know? They'd get together occasionally, play etc.

Last year the boy decided to have a birthday party at his house and invited a ton of the "cool kids" who were not his friends as well as my son, and another boy who is also his friend. My son couldn't make it as I was in town working and there was no way I'd let him bike the highway to get there. None of the cool kids showed up, just the one other friend. ... I felt so awful for not finding a way to get DS to the party, but there was nothing I could think of to do and I only found out later what happened.

This year, this same boy decided to have his party at an indoor bike and skateboard park. His mom rented out the place but told him he could only have a certain number of kids. DS, the friend who showed up last year, and some new friends the boy made were all invited. DS was so excited we took his bike down to the shop and got it tuned up. Then last Monday the boy informs DS, the other friend who went to his party last year and a few others that they are UNinvited becuase he wants to invite the "cool kids". DS was angry but held onto the slightest hope that he'd be re-invited along with the other boy.

No deal, didn't happen. The party was yesterday and the kids got updates from facebook posted from the party stating how "cool" it was and who was there. Well, half an hour into the party the birthday boy broke his leg landing wrong from a jump. Yup, the mom and her son spent the rest of the day off in the ER waiting, X-raying and getting the leg set.

Karma?

BTW - DS is horribly saddened to hear this happened to his friend and is willing to forgive and forget.

What the kid did was awful behavior. But you know what's even more awful? A GROWN woman gloating over a kid's injury. I'm glad your son is willing to forgive and forget - he obviously didn't learn it from you.

 

[jrmasm]

What the kid did was awful behavior. But you know what's even more awful? A GROWN woman gloating over a kid's injury. I'm glad your son is willing to forgive and forget - he obviously didn't learn it from you.

Yup