Karinbelle's South Beach Journal (Comments welcome)

[karinbelle]

I've never done a weightloss journal before - and figured this was the place to start.

I'm 36, married to a supportive DH and have a 6 year old child. We're planning our third family trip to WDW in October. I'd like to be at my ideal weight by then. Currently I'm at 148 and want to be 125. I'm 5'6" and wear a size 10 (a little tight). I'd like to be a comfortable size 8.

I have been going to the Y regularly (6 days a week or so) and exercising on the elliptical and arc trainer for 600-900 calories burned per session. I've also lifted weights, but can't seem to motivate myself to do this more than 2 X a week (about every 3-4 days). With all this exercise, I haven't changed my eating habits and I still have only lost about 2 pounds in four weeks. Granted, I've noticed my legs look slimmer, but not a great amount of difference in the way my clothes fit.

I've had to re-learn that it's 80% about the food and 20% about the exercise. So, today I'm recommitted to the food part. No more peanut butter and honey snacks. No more large bowls of whipped topping with two handfuls of chocolate chips. I'm back on the wagon.

Today's food:

1 egg and 1 egg white scrambled
2 slices of tomato with salt

water - lots of it
2 cans of Diet Pepsi

Salad with cold left-over chicken and bleu cheese dressing

sugar free jello

1 small sugar free hershey bar

12 almonds

2 oz garlic moz cheese

cold left-over chicken with buffalo sauce

AND I'm not eating anything else tonight. Just drinking water.

Today's exercise:

55 minutes on the elliptical with a calorie burn of 600.



Challenges:
Mom and Dad are getting divorced after 43 years. Mom is lying about Dad and I have to testify in court on Monday. Mom only calls me to pump for information about Dad. Dad has cancer (esophogus sp? and lymph node). He's only gone through one session of chemotherapy. Mom decided it was divorce time after he was diagnosed. She's nuts. Do the insane get into heaven?

DH and I are trying to have another sweet one but no luck for the last 2 years.

I teach school and back to class on the 18th. Kids come on 23rd. I'm glad to go, but it is always an adjustement.

DS starts 1st grade. Worried about him because he does not want to read for fun. What did I do wrong?

We bought a Santa Fe and the gas mileage is bugging me. I want an old, small Civic to drive to/from work. DH wants me in the big gas hog because of safety concerns.

OK, my dump is done. Comments welcome.

 

[karinbelle]

Last night we had company come over and I blew it. 1.5 glasses of red wine, 1 small piece of pizza, and a cookie. All within 3 hours of bed. I did drink 16 oz of water before bed to counter some of the effects.

This A.M. I'm off to the Y again. Get my cardio in. Then, we're going to take a canoe trip (If I can get everyone out of bed).

 

[lajones81]

Welcome to journaling! This is a great place for support!

 

[karynnix]

Welcome, welcome!! Parents can be fun, huh? Your food choices sound great. I love reading about what everyone else eats! I have a membership to the Y, and I'm hoping to get back really regularly when school starts in a few weeks. I always feel better when I exercise, but it's all about FINDING THE MOTIVATION!! You have the right attitude, so you'll do great!! Good luck!!!!!

 

[TigerCheer2009]

Welcome to WISH, Karinbelle!!! This is a great place to be-to vent, to celebrate, anything!!! You're doing pretty great!

I can't really say I know how you feel (because I don't) but I do know how it feels to have loved ones with cancer. My grandfather had lung cancer and my mom had breast cancer...you are not alone!!

Have fun on the canoe trip!

Every day is a new day! Remember that!!! You can't screw up a new day with yesterday's mistakes-either you're gonna make new mistakes or you won't. Every mistake will be a learning experience. Trust me on this one.

Many hugs! Many many hugs!!

 

[karinbelle]

I did 65 minutes on the elliptical machine (753 cal). Can't seem to make myself do the weights. I believe that the cardio is more important at this point.

Breakfast was a LC slimfast

9:30 snack was a tablespoon of PB

1:00 had a SF jello

2:00 went to eat at the local buffet (OH NO!) with BIL and SIL. Can't pass up the sushi - but I hate the white rice in it. Tried to stick with meats and seafood. Had a cookie and icecream. Won't eat tonight except for a small snack (maybe another jello to tie me over).

 

[TigerCheer2009]

I'm BACK!!!! Nice job and most of the smilies are back too!

Day by day!
Pound by Pound!
Karinbelle's just DOIN' it!
No messin' around!

 

[karinbelle]

TigerCheer2009 Thanks for the cheer!

 

[karinbelle]

65 Elliptical minutes for a total of 750 calories!

AND I lifted weights.

Just drinking the water like it's going out of style.

Trying to stay on the wagon with food today. Last night I was up late watching DH and BIL/SIL play a game of RISK. Had 1.5 glasses of red wine again and some pretzel mix aroun 11 p.m.

This AM had a LC Slimfast for breakfast and my vitamin. It's almost noon and I'm not hungry yet. But, I'll go fix something soon.

 

[karinbelle]

Plans for the Y today - family Bodyflow class for 1 hour with DS. Then 65 min on the arc trainer or elliptical.

Yesterday - had a SF jello at 1, Hamburger, lettuce, tomato, onion at 2 p.m.
Chicken lettuce wrap at 8 p.m. and LC ice cream at 10 p.m.

Today so far: LC slimfast at 8 am and 2 tbs PB at 10 a.m.

Feeling discontent because BIL and SIL leaving today and will miss them; Dreading Monday - the closer it gets the worse I feel (relationship with Mom will go down the tubes); I just plan to tell the truth of the questions I am able to answer.

Brother coming in from CA for 3 days to testify. Glad I'll be able to see him.

Trying to drink water instead of eat a chocolate bar. The Y will probably save me.

 

[karinbelle]

Today's exercise: 65 minutes on the elliptical and lifted weights

Yesterday - lunch was a brat with some tomatoes, dinner with Dad - ham, greenbeans, tomatoes, and just two small helpings of potatoes. I was bad about water last night - had two Diet Rites

Today so far - LC Slimfast for breakfast, SF jello for snack, brat and mixed salad greens, SF jello for snack and a couple oz of garlic moz.

I'm hoping all this pays off next Wed when I weigh myself again.

 

[Cruise04]

Welcome!!! Glad you are here. I am a daughter of parents who divorced, and very nastily might I add, after 22 years of marriage. My mother also had cancer but it wasn't the reason they got divorced. She passed away 3 years ago this coming Friday. I'm a person with a HUGE history of family with different cancers so this is a good place for support. Sorry you've gotten "caught in the middle" of all of the problems with your parents - it's not fun. I know that. Good luck tomorrow.

And glad you came here - this is a great place with great people and you can do this!!!!!

Keep on
Chris

 

[karinbelle]

Yesterday was the divorce. Had to be there at 10 a.m. to meet with lawyer. Lawyer did not show -- we saw him at 1:30. He had an excuse, but it wasted my entire morning.

Hearing started at 2, was over by 3:30. They decided to go with the original plan - split it all down the middle. No one had to testify. Why could they have not done this to begin with and save us all this grief?

Mom brought toys to my niece, but did not even ask about my DS. She told me that she does not make phone calls - she's "saving" her minutes. That means she wants me to call her all the time. We both have cell phones. She uses minutes whether it's outgoing or incoming. She knows this. It is a guilt trip. We're supposed to bow down to the queen mother.

Today, found out that my grandmother (mom's mother) DIED on August 1st and she did not tell anyone. This is just not right. I was not close to this grandma (hadn't seen her in ages and hadn't talked to her in years - mostly due to my mother's insistence that grandma put her down all the time. Grandma has been creamated and flown in to a cemetary about 2 hours from me. Mom said grandma will not have a service. She's not telling her step-sister about it. I may call her myself. Do you think I should?

Exercise - none yesterday; today - 55 minutes on the elliptical and lifted weights for 30 minutes

Breakfast both days: LC slimfast

lunch: grilled chicken breast

dinner: yesterday - buffet with dad on the way home (tried to be good but still had rolls and icecream); today - salad, chicken wings (not breaded), water, and a LC icecream. I've had four-five oreo cookies

Now I'm drinking the water trying not to do any more damage tonight.

I'm back to school (PD) on Thursday. Then we're going to the fair to see Cheap Trick. Do you think my 6 yo DS will like it? He loves rock-n-roll!

 

[lajones81]

I hope you have a great day!

 

[karinbelle]

Lisa, thanks for the thought. I appreciate it. Today was much better.

Worked out at the Y for 65 minutes on elliptical (730 cal)

Breakfast: LC Slimfast shake and a cheese stick

Snack: cheese stick

Lunch: Top part of pepp. pizza, some crust, tomato slices, lettuce, red onion

Snack: Several bites of DH ice cream

Dinner: leftover chicken wings (3) and a spoon of peanut butter

Got on the scale - It's been a week and I HAVE NOT LOST A SINGLE THING! My scale is stuck! Granted, it has been a stressful/eventful week and I've eaten out more than normal. Plan for the next week: Do not eat after 6 p.m. I think my late night cookies are holding me up.

 

[Cruise04]

I think your ds will like Cheap Trick - they are a good band. They are from Rockford, IL - about 30 minutes from me. Rick Neilsen (I don't know if spelled that right) does a lot for the Rockford community - good guy! Hope you have fun.

Sorry about all the stress with the trial - that stinks that you wasted the whole morning and then it took very little time. But I'm sure it took lots of money!!!!! And sorry that your mom is the way she is. One day she'll regret it - trust me. It might end up being too late but it will happen.

Hang in there with the weight loss - took me 2 weeks before I saw results and that didn't start until I started writing everything down. It WILL happen and you WILL do it!!!!!!

Keep on
Chris

 

[karinbelle]

Well, it's been awhile since I checked in. I exercised on 8/17, did the KY State Fair thing on 8/18 (plus worked), skipped 8/19 (worked); and exercised 65 minutes on Sat. - then went to the fair again and walked a lot.

Skipped Sunday's workout

Today's Monday. Guess what - no workout again! It was opening day for school and 7 p.m. before I got home without going to the Y.

I think I need to buy an elliptical for AM workouts at home. Cannot seem to make myself go.

I've also not been good on the eating. Fudge from the fair on Sat. Did pretty well yesterday - but still eating the fudge. It calls my name - especially the borbon fudge.

Today, had a bagel & cream cheese for breakfast (bad carbs - not even whole wheat!); McDon grilled chk sand for lunch with just the top of the bun (OK carbs - wheat); Dinner was grilled chicken patty from Sam's Club, mixed greenes and 2 slices of tomato. All followed by a LC ice cream. All eaten after 7 p.m. breaking another rule.

OK, I live in the now, not in the past. So I'm restarting NOW!

Tomorrow's plan (1st day of school): LC Slimfast for breakfast; String cheese at 10; Ck salad at lunch; SF jello at 3; YMCA at 4-5; Lite dinner (maybe salad again or philly steak sans bread and green peppers/onions.

 

[lajones81]

Hope to see you back here soon!

 

[karinbelle]

Well, haven't been on for a while (August). I have an excuse - I'm a teacher.

Here goes:

Quit the YMCA - not enought time after teaching all day. If I did it, I wouldn't get home until 7 p.m. Looking for a good/inexpensive ellipitcal machine that I can read a book on using a book holder (those clear things at the Y). I'm an early riser, so that's a possibility. Also, have done YOGA a few times - no, not a week, just a few times. And liked it. But again, running into the time issue. Also, since I'm trying to do it at home, I'm embarassed if DH sees me.

I think I'm losing a little weight - drinking FUSE drinks from Sams club. But I'm getting headaches in the PM. Don't know if they are from the drink or from the change in weather as it gets colder.

Went to the doctor today. I have fibriods that are preventing pregnancy (TTC for 2 years). Will have to take Lupron for 4 months to shrink the fibriods or polyps. Surgery (hysto or lapro in March) and can finally try again in May next year. DS will be almost 8 before he has a DB or DS.

I'm upset because I have been so blessed to have nothing wrong with me for the past 37 years - except for the emergency C-section with DS. DS was very easy to conceive - 1st try did it.

Worried that Lupron will turn me into an old lady before my time. It will induce a chemical menopause and stop my period by blocking the estrogen and testosterone (sp?). DH will be unhappy because of decreased libido on my end (but he never complains - what a blessing for me again).

DR told me he usually sees patients before fibroids get this big -- now blaming myself for not complaining about heavy periods. Thought the DR would tell me to suck it up.

On another notes - mom and dad's divorce still not final. Mom says dad hid $$. Dad says he did not -- but admitted to my brother he overlooked a large-sum CD when they put the paperwork together. Dad lied to me about this. I'm upset I was lied to.

Mom did not tell anyone when my grandmother died before the divorce hearing (probably because she is getting an inheritence and did not want to share the $ with dad). When she brought up the missign CD, Dad decided to fight for 1/2 of her inheritence. No one went to a funeral (we were not close - it's sad, but OK).

Mom is severely depressed and only has 1 friend to get her through. She is 1.5 hour drive away from me. Sent her $300 when she passed out in WalMart and had to go to the hospital - has arteries that are blocked to her brain that need to be operated on - but will not do it until she gets medicare in December. According to her BF (who called me while I was in Disney) she's suicidal at some point. She is meeting with a mental health professional this week.

Sister is a leech on my dad who has cancer. She's living in his house and lettign him take care of her 4 year old daughter (had with a man who was in prison at the time). He has not been to see a cancer doctor since he moved here in July. Sis told Dad I sent Mom $300. Dad has to pay Mom support - but has not since this protest to the divorce decree over the missing CD. Mom took Dad to court over back alimony. Dad brought up the $300 I sent Mom and tried to get her to lie on the stand (unintentional). I have also given Dad furniture - a sofa, recliners, kitchen table - and helped him move. I'm not playing favorites.

Sis has told me she is bankrupting herself (getting rid of all of her retirement, cash,etc ) because she wants welfare to pay for her childcare while she goes back to school and lives in my Dads house. Dad is very attached to her daughter. She is taking advantage of the situation. He pays for everything. She pays for nothing. She acts like a martyr because she is living there.

I can't stand trying to deal with all of this, so we are not having Thanksgiving at my house with my Dear BIL and new SIL. We are going to BIL's new wife's family in Ohio. We will have a warm welcome there. I feel bad leaving my mom with no one (but she is very understanding and will probably spend the time with her BF).

Dad has his sister to spend TG with as well as my sister and his granddaugher. Dad wanted me to come to "their" new house - but I told him today we'd just see them on Saturday. Told mom we'd see her either the weekend before or on Wednesday. She was kind enought to say it would be a lot of driving for us to see her on Wed.

For Christmas, we will probably spend the evening at midnight mass and the day at home - if I don't see either one, then they can't claim I'm on one side or another.

I'm so tired of hearing lies and half-truths. Of them at each other's throats. They were married for 42 years. The last 20 have not been good and they have not worked at making it better.

What do you think of this mess? I'm sure every family has something like it. I just did not think I'd be the product of a divorced family at age 37.

K

 

[Cruise04]

Sorry to hear a lot of your mom and dad's issues are falling on you. I had similar things happen except in my case I was the middle person between my mom and my dad and between my dad and my brother who were not speaking. And I had to be the one to make sure I made it to each of them for a holiday. Then it got worse when I got divorced - OMG. I hated when Christmas came because we had 3 different places to go. Then I got remarried and added another place or two. But once my mom passed away I saw how much my dad still really cared about my mom, which I didn't know for such a long time because there was just so much anger between the two of them. My folks were married for 22 years before being divorced. It was hard but I was so thankful that I was over 18 and didn't have to chose who to live with. I'd rather have them think I was playing favorites because I went to one house over another than have to chose who to live with.

Hang in there - I'm sure eventually it will get better. You may have to come to a point that you say to both of them that you are tired of being in the middle. I had to and that made such a world of difference.


Keep on
Chris