Justifying spending so much on a wedding....

[Kimmy2Disney]

If YOU aren't comfortable spending the money DON'T DO IT.

That being said, it sounds like you are letting you FMIL dictate YOUR day. If you are paying for the wedding, why should she have any say about the expense?

Quite honestly, 12K is quite a deal given that the ave. American wedding is 28K. Looking at other weddings on the board, 12K gets you quite a lot at Disney - plus you get to enjoy your event (going to the park the day before instead of triple confirming everything, etc.) That is worth alot more than 12K to me.

Please don't let your FMIL dictate the terms of your life together - bad precedent to set! Do what makes YOUR heart happy!

I hope this helps....

Mrs. Flowers Ashley

I Agree 150%... Don't let your FMIL dictate your day! We are getting married in a little over 4 months and my FMIL is the reason I am not having the Disney wedding I've dreamed of forever... I gave her an inch by seeing it a little her way and deciding to have an at home wedding (that surely isn't saving us any more money), but many more of our family and friends will be able to come... and she is trying to take over everything.. Nothing is good enough for her (and we are paying most of the bills ourselves).. things that really dont matter to her she has HUGE opinions of.. (as you can see I'm as bit hostile at this point, and I won't get into all the details!)
BUT... my point is have YOUR day the way the two of you see it.. It belongs to only you... If you do decide to have it at home do go on an obnoxiously long honeymoon to reward yourself (We are doing 10 nights at the WL then an eastern caribb. cruise to relax, lol)

PS-- and there are perks to a Disneymoon.. we were engaged at WDW on our last trip and each night there were new things in our room (balloons, pictures, pins, Mickey and Minnie cake topper, the ears, Etc) and special desserts or drinks with most of our dinners.. It was really nice for just being engaged there.. so i could only imagine what happens when it is actually your Honeymoon.

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

We are having an escape wedding for a FRACTION of the cost of what it would be at home. Yes, we have to pay for travel-but we would have done that anyway. We are making some additions...but things that I absolutely wanted. (ie I have always dreamed of having a Rolls Royce-I can have it a Disney...who knows home much it would cost at home or if they even have one in this area!)

DF and I love Disney...and we could do so much more by having the wedding at WDW than at home. I guess that is what makes it right for us.

 

[Bride-to-be]

We don't have a set budget but we have sort of guidelines that we want to stay within. We started by looking at what an at home wedding would cost. I have a twin planning an at home wedding and we saw what site rentals and catering and flowers and band and photographer etc etc etc would cost. Then we figured its one night and one night only. If we were going to spend that - we figured that if we did it at disney we could stretch it out a bit so it would feel like more than 5 hours of one evening. Then we figured we could do the cruise and stretch it out over 4 days. We thought that was an excellent value - so thats where we started. Now we are thinking in addition to the cruise we want either a castle wedding or to do a reception at LSS when we get back. I am justifying the added cost of a castle wedding because we wouldn't have to take a photographer with us on the cruise or pay for the beach wedding and some other stuff that would save $$$. I figure that added cost isn't THAT much and to be a princess for 15 mins and go down main street in cinderellas carriage could be worth it. If we stick to the beach wedding on castaway cay then we are likely just going to have a party at LSS or some place similar when we get back. The nice part is that we have food and beverage minimums but we wouldn't have the wishes minimums so its not as expensive as I originally thought.

In order to pay for this we have changed our lifestyles dramatically. We have cut almost all of our usual vacations and DF now eats PB & J for lunch every day instead of turkey. We have stopped eating out as often as before and we are watching every penny. Its kind of painful - but I figure its only one year and its good for us to be able learn to save.

We are running down for a site visit in a few weeks and will have a much better idea of what things will cost and how to justify it after that!

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

In order to pay for this we have changed our lifestyles dramatically. We have cut almost all of our usual vacations and DF now eats PB & J for lunch every day instead of turkey. We have stopped eating out as often as before and we are watching every penny. Its kind of painful - but I figure its only one year and its good for us to be able learn to save.

there are a ton of things to do to save. Some of the things I've done...My mom and I made a "Wedding Fund Jug" (see PJ for pics) Its one of the water cooler jugs that we decorated. Not only do I put change in that, but we have another piggy bank that we put money in. On top of Disney Visa Rewards, Sunshine Rewards, and Mypoints...it all adds up in the end.
DF takes his lunch and I take mine as well. We eat out once a week (its our weekly date day/night) We don't spend as much as we used to on silly things we won't use or don't need. There are ways to do it! Good luck!

 

[AlternateEgo]

I have dreamt up a beautiful wedding for 50-60 of our closest family and friends and have only budgetted about $3,400 after what my parents have offered to add.

We will have a casual ceremony outside on the lake. I have rented all the decorations ($100), guys wearing tuxes ($75), dress bought ($441), kids clothed ($200) , even have quotes on flowers ($400), professional hair and make up ($65)...

Reception - Reception site for two days ($150), Centerpieces, linens, DJ ($500/6 hours), lights, decorations, non catered buffet ($300), 3 tier cake ($100), wine ($120), and beer ($100), and two servers ($120).

I have even hired an "amatuer" experienced photographer. ($100) I even bought Hershey kisses, favor boxes, invitations, thank you notes, and Save the date cards... well under budget.

I am doing a lot of things DIY. I have three young daughters, a full time job and my FH does business on the road... so I have found the time to do things that I can to save money. I originally thought I would do flowers myself, but have decided it is worth the extra to have someone that is experienced.

There are only two things I would possibly do if my budget allowed... one being a photographer that does it for a living, and the other would be to have an actual caterer.

But really those things aren't super important to me and I know we are going to have a beautiful wedding that will look like it cost $10,000 or $15,000...

Bargain weddings can be done...

But, nobody can tell you what is affordable for you. You are going to have to work out a budget to decide how much you have to spend on everything, including the bills you will incure over the first year of living together. Whatever you do, don't get yourself into debt. You are starting a new family and debt is one of those things that tear people apart.

And of course, maybe you could have a small ceremony at home, to make close relatives happy and then do a small escape wedding at disney... or have a reception at home and view the tape of the wedding, for those who couldn't attend.

 

[Bride-to-be]

Wow - I am very impressed with your budget!!!!!!

My parents spent I think like $600 on their wedding. Since it was a second marriage for both of them they only had like 9 people. They got married outside the church by a stream and then went to our swim club and had a big picnic lunch that my grandmother prepared. My mom wore a white mexican peasant dress and only had a few stems of lillies for flowers.

Budget weddings certainly can be done. My question is - if you compromise too much will you regret it in the long run? At the same time if you spend too much you will probably also regret that - so I think everyone has to find a happy medium.

On that super old wedding dvd that DFTW sends out they say that the average disney wedding costs $20k. Is that a current fact or like 10 years old? The dvd looked a bit dated.

I feel like if Disney can put on a big wedding for $20k that they might be cheaper in the long run then a lot of at home wedding places. At least around us anyway.

 

[figmentfan814]

On that super old wedding dvd that DFTW sends out they say that the average disney wedding costs $20k. Is that a current fact or like 10 years old? The dvd looked a bit dated.

I feel like if Disney can put on a big wedding for $20k that they might be cheaper in the long run then a lot of at home wedding places. At least around us anyway.

Yes, a Disney wedding can definitely be done for around $20K. We had 50 guests, a ceremony at Epcot with a brunch reception, followed by a dessert party that evening and we only paid Disney around $13,800 (which included a MK/DHS shoot)

Adding in our outside photographer, videographer, favors, welcome hay ride at Fort Wilderness, a bridal tea at the Gardenview Tea Room, our rehearsal dinner at a restaurant in the Dolphin, my dress, groom's tux, bridal party gifts, welcome bags for all guests, and our travel to WDW for a week we only spent a total of $22,000.

 

[AbbyPan]

I'm sorry you're feeling the pressure on this one.

All i can add is this:

Sure, be smart with your money, and don't ever spend more than you should. But how important is it to you to have a wedding in Disney? Examine how important this is and then make your decision. Once you've made a decision, come up with a reasonable budget & timeframe.

I went thru the family ordeal too...but when its over and done with, they'll all think it was cool to have gone to a disney wedding, it happens all the time.

Also, sometimes you have to be flexible and sacrifice one thing to have the other...so maybe you wanted something more than an escape...but what's more important? Having an escape wedding because that's all you can really afford...or not having a Disney wedding at all because having more people is what's important to you both? If it is more important then maybe you can leave Disney for your honeymoon?

Whatever your answers are, just make sure that you're doing what you want. Its one of those few times in life when you are entitled to what you want...and its okay! people will always have opinions unfortunately

 

[MarriedToAPrince]

My wedding here at home in CT almost 6 years ago cost my parents $16,000 and it was worth every penny in their eyes and mine. Your wedding is one of the most important days of your life. With that being said the most important part of the day is marrying your best friend. Now with that being said every little girl dreams of their wedding day and if you can financially swing the cost then yes definietly do it. I originally was going to do a cheap backyard wedding to save my parents money, BUT they knew I had always dreamt of a fairy tale wedding and that is exactly what they gave me and I cherish those memories to this day.