Just venting to those that would understand...

[ClarabelleCow]

I'll be the one looking at the other side of the coin. She's 17, just started back to HS and found out that (1) her absence would not be excused for the first time (2) her cheerleading squad or other team (??) was having a meet/game/important practice that week and if she missed it, she would be off the team/squad (3) SAT/ACT test/practice sessions start that week (4) her new part time job couldn't let her off for those days or she would be fired (5) etc. Has your daughter asked her cousin what was going on? Maybe she really wanted to go, but something came up and she just couldn't now.

That's exactly what I was thinking? I'm assuming this is her Senior year, there could be alot of factors that came into play, and Mom may be taking the hit because the kid really can't or doesn't want to miss out on other stuff? Just a thought, but your brother should at least pay you the cost you put out for the ticket.

 

[bobbiwoz]

I am sorry that this has happened. I do hope that you have a nice time as a family, whether a friend is able to go or not. Make it a very special trip for yourselves! You are a very nice, generous family, appreciate what you have!

Bobbi

 

[DisFlan]

Airfare is one of our rules, too. They can stay with us, but they have to get themselves there. They buy their own park tickets, too. With that kind of investment, they're much less likely to cancel.

OP, I'm sorry this happened to you, too. This girl (and her mother) had to have had an idea that she might not be able to go quite a while ago - and should have said so. It may not happen, but I agree that you should be reimbursed for the airfare. If for no other reason than to keep peace in the family. You are a generous person, and they've imposed on your generosity.


DisFlan

 

[moredisneyplease]

Sorry this happened to you (finanacially) and your daughter (emotionally). it stinks!

i have yet to be burned but i feel it coming so i'm planning accordingly. There's a large group of us family members (me, DH, our 2 boys, my sis, BIL, niece, little sis, and mother and her boyfriend) planning 5 days at VB and 5 days at AKL. If you count you'll see that there are 11 people but my mother (and as a result her boyfriend and my little sister) is rather flakey so I think I'm going to book a 2 bedroom at both places and tell everyone we have room for 8 and whoever books their flights first gets a spot! I just know that I would kick myself for booking a grand villa at AKL at 11 months and a beach cottage at 7 months and then get burned. Forget that! Too many points!

 

[janni518]

I'll be the one looking at the other side of the coin. She's 17, just started back to HS and found out that (1) her absence would not be excused for the first time (2) her cheerleading squad or other team (??) was having a meet/game/important practice that week and if she missed it, she would be off the team/squad (3) SAT/ACT test/practice sessions start that week (4) her new part time job couldn't let her off for those days or she would be fired (5) etc. Has your daughter asked her cousin what was going on? Maybe she really wanted to go, but something came up and she just couldn't now.

Oh thank goodness. I was thinking stuff along the same lines and thought I was alone. My kids just started school (high school) and there is a huge change in policy this year attendance and otherwise. I had to sign off on so many forms it was ridiculous. Apparently attendance has gotten to be a real issue.

I do agree with the idea of having people pay for their own airfare. Will keep that in mind for myself.

To the OP, I'm so sorry for your trouble. I must be very frustrating. We actually had a situation where we paid for guests to come (paid for EVERYTHING) and one of them was very nasty to me and actually picked a fight with me in the lobby of the WL. I think I would have rather they cancelled...

 

[iluveeyore]

Sorry this happened, especially with family. I'm part of the 'club' too, as DS invited a friend two years ago who backed out with just three weeks to go. Thankfully, we always book with Southwest, so I just released his ticket, and used the ticketless travel funds to buy another one - got my Grandma to go and we had a great time!

 

[garnet1240]

I'll be the one looking at the other side of the coin. She's 17, just started back to HS and found out that (1) her absence would not be excused for the first time (2) her cheerleading squad or other team (??) was having a meet/game/important practice that week and if she missed it, she would be off the team/squad (3) SAT/ACT test/practice sessions start that week (4) her new part time job couldn't let her off for those days or she would be fired (5) etc. Has your daughter asked her cousin what was going on? Maybe she really wanted to go, but something came up and she just couldn't now.

I asked all of the similiar questions. And trust me, I've got two girls, one in HS, the other college, so I understand. I even asked if there was something up between the two girls, it happens. Nothing different from the past three years we have taken her. SIL says she wants her to "focus" this year. (grades are just fine) ....and she has let her go three times before. .ok, so missing a day and half will throw her "focus" right off.

I completely respect her expectations from her daughter in school, but you coulda declined us in June ..and not have this drama

Don't get me wrong, I love this girl to death, she is really a good kid ( a smart aleck, but she is my niece after all) My brother.. it's his life not mine, he's got a big heart, but from my opinion has no say in his house. Maybe I should have know someday, something like this would happen.

Anyways...

Thanks everyone for the kind words!!

 

[Flyerfan]

OP: I'm sorry, but if I was invited as a guest and I cancelled causing additional charges for airfare or whatever, I would definitely pay for it. IMO, your SIL should do the right thing and reimburse you. It's just not fair to you. I hope everything works out and you have a great vacation!

 

[DisneyMama27]

Airfare is one of our rules, too. They can stay with us, but they have to get themselves there. They buy their own park tickets, too. With that kind of investment, they're much less likely to cancel.

This is what we are trying to do as well, but DSis & fam have yet to buy tickets for Thanksgiving! I was pretty at sis, but then learned it is BIL that is holding things up. I don't want sis to feel worse, so am backing off. We have 9 confirmed out of original 13 for SSR GV. Sis may or may not come. As PP stated, it is saying they will come up to the 11th hour, then NOT that is frustrating. I guess we will all have more room if they don't show - and all they were paying for is air, food, and tickets - but we will be hesitant to invite again. Which is sad, because we love spending time with them.

On another note, we invited SIL (DH's sis) and her family of 5 to join us next summer. They nodded and smiled, then said NO 2 weeks later. DH was even prepared to pay for their food so their 3 kids could go to DW for the 1st time. Their only expense? Gas to get out there (they would never fly) and their park tickets. I would love to just invite the nieces and nephew, but she would not let them go w/o her. We actually breathed a sigh of relief when they declined! She thrives on drama... we just felt bad for her kids, and our kids would love being there with their closest-in-age cousins. Oh well... blessing in disguise, I'm sure!

 

[WALTSAGOD]

Airfare is one of our rules, too. They can stay with us, but they have to get themselves there. They buy their own park tickets, too. With that kind of investment, they're much less likely to cancel.

DisFlan

Points are one thing if you have the extra ones to splurge, but I agree airfare is way to much to treat.

 

[sean-1966]

Regarding missing 1.5 days... Thankfully, my parents weren't really militant about me missing trips because of school. I went to Barbados several times missing weeks of school (GREAT grandparents!!!). I wasn't the best student, just scraping by till college. But, I can tell you the experiences I had on those trips far out weigh what I would have learned in school. I don't understand the problem with missing a little school for a trip. There are many ways to learn then sitting in a class room. I still remember learning cricket, I still have an interest in the ocean, I love to travel. All of this I attribute to my experiences on these trips. I can't remember the last time I had to deal with fractions.

 

[OurDogCisco]

I can't remember the last time I had to deal with fractions.

Really... you don't cook at home? and halve a recipe?

 

[tomandrobin]

What a shame!

This is why we don't share our points......lol!

 

[robinb]

Bummer . We too were burned by relatives at 30 days. They thought they were calling us by the deadline but they missed it by a day. We ended up renting their studio instead.

I don't think I would scratch the niece off the list as she probably didn't have anything to do with canceling, although I would probably make her come up with her airfare next time. The SIL, however, would never be invited. It's one thing to get left holding the DVC points bag as you can always spread out or rent the extra unit but it's quite another to stick someone with purchased airfare.