just need to whine for a minute about income

[surfergirl602]

No flames please, I just need to whine and vent and stomp my feet for a second and let our the hormones.

So.... my daughter plays fall and spring soccer (she's 7) and we are very good friends with the coach. He coaches like, 5 different teams here on post. He's always had me take all the team photos. The parents have been happy with them, and I always have my prices lower than the other people around that take pictures as well. Our kids have been on the same team for over two years now, and our families do loads of stuff together.

Well, we get the schedule for the season at last nights practice, and I see that team photos are being done on April 1st - and I was never asked to do them. We usually do them later in the season when it warms up.

I just assumed that I would be, as I've done it for him, the teams that his assistant coaches, and some other teams around post. I had the order sheets, the packages, everything all ready set up, too, to show him the new stuff I have for this season, assuming we wouldn't be doing pictures until later in May.

We were really counting on this income to buy most of our baby supplies, as I don't work. It would easily bring in around $600 for us, which would cover practically everything important that we needed for this baby.

I'm really upset over this, even though it is silly in the retrospect of things, but it has really hurt my feelings, since I think he didn't ask me because I'm pregnant, and on modified bed rest. I still have to take my daughter to practice twice a week, so its not like I'm not already there. When I say modified bed rest, I'm not supposed to be taking three mile long walks anymore, and over exerting myself like I was doing. Taking team pictures really isn't all that strenuous.

I am hesitant to say anything to him because I don't want to anger him. He and his kids are supposed to be watching our pets for us when we go to Disney, and I don't want to ruffle any feathers. We're only paying him half of what the kennel would be charging us and that has helped with our budget tremendously.

So come picture day, my daughter won't be getting hers done, because I will do them myself, for free. How the heck to do I go about that and being nice about it? Maybe he already just assumes that I'll be doing hers myself and doesn't expect me to get them done?

The preggo hormones certainly don't help the situation any, and I could just be over reacting, but I'm really hurt about this. And I really think that its because I'm pregnant, and that is what really ticks me off about it. Having a baby is not a disability and I shouldn't be treated any differently because of it.

Sigh. Maybe after picture day hubby will say something about it, since he is the one that's good friends with him. Maybe he'll bring it up in conversation and mention how hurt I was by it and get the story behind it, but I guess I'm too chicken to do it myself.

I've posted an ad on Craigslist to see if I can pick up some more teams, but who knows how that will go. I have yet to hear from any of the other teams that I usually do and don't expect to hear anything from them until next month. Coaches change every season, so I don't even know if they are even still here or coaching. And of course, I'm not allowed to have coaches contact info per the registration office - I can't solicit, they need to contact me.

Thanks for letting this pregnant girl vent.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

So.... my daughter plays fall and spring soccer (she's 7) and we are very good friends with the coach. He coaches like, 5 different teams here on post. He's always had me take all the team photos. The parents have been happy with them, and I always have my prices lower than the other people around that take pictures as well. Our kids have been on the same team for over two years now, and our families do loads of stuff together.

Well, we get the schedule for the season at last nights practice, and I see that team photos are being done on April 1st - and I was never asked to do them. We usually do them later in the season when it warms up.

I just assumed that I would be, as I've done it for him, the teams that his assistant coaches, and some other teams around post. I had the order sheets, the packages, everything all ready set up, too, to show him the new stuff I have for this season, assuming we wouldn't be doing pictures until later in May.

We were really counting on this income to buy most of our baby supplies, as I don't work. It would easily bring in around $600 for us, which would cover practically everything important that we needed for this baby.

I'm really upset over this, even though it is silly in the retrospect of things, but it has really hurt my feelings, since I think he didn't ask me because I'm pregnant, and on modified bed rest. I still have to take my daughter to practice twice a week, so its not like I'm not already there. When I say modified bed rest, I'm not supposed to be taking three mile long walks anymore, and over exerting myself like I was doing. Taking team pictures really isn't all that strenuous.

I am hesitant to say anything to him because I don't want to anger him. He and his kids are supposed to be watching our pets for us when we go to Disney, and I don't want to ruffle any feathers. We're only paying him half of what the kennel would be charging us and that has helped with our budget tremendously.

So come picture day, my daughter won't be getting hers done, because I will do them myself, for free. How the heck to do I go about that and being nice about it? Maybe he already just assumes that I'll be doing hers myself and doesn't expect me to get them done?

The preggo hormones certainly don't help the situation any, and I could just be over reacting, but I'm really hurt about this. And I really think that its because I'm pregnant, and that is what really ticks me off about it. Having a baby is not a disability and I shouldn't be treated any differently because of it.

Sigh. Maybe after picture day hubby will say something about it, since he is the one that's good friends with him. Maybe he'll bring it up in conversation and mention how hurt I was by it and get the story behind it, but I guess I'm too chicken to do it myself.

I've posted an ad on Craigslist to see if I can pick up some more teams, but who knows how that will go. I have yet to hear from any of the other teams that I usually do and don't expect to hear anything from them until next month. Coaches change every season, so I don't even know if they are even still here or coaching. And of course, I'm not allowed to have coaches contact info per the registration office - I can't solicit, they need to contact me.

Thanks for letting this pregnant girl vent.

That is a lot of assuming you are doing.

You assume everybody loves your pictures.

So, you assume you are automatically getting the job the following year, spending the money before you get the contract.

Now, you are assuming that you are not doing the pictures.

Yet you won't ask anybody for confirmation.

Put your big girl pants on, use those hormones to an advantage and just go to the coach and ask why the change.

Many things could have transpired. Perhaps there was a communication error and he thinks you know all about the April 1 date.

Perhaps some parents complained about their pictures and they have decided to go a different route. Finding this out would help you in your further business as you could correct whatever people have issues with.

Perhaps he did assume you couldn't do it because of bed rest. If he doesn't know what bed rest means, he probably assumed you weren't available. Contacting him and letting him know you are available would be a good thing.

Communication is the key here. Don't just assume and stew. Pick up the phone and find out what is going on.

Oh, and just as a warning. Put your flame suit on.

You NEVER post that you can't afford to buy essentials for your family and then in the same sentence say you are going to Disney.

 

[krcit]

I would ask him nicely if there was a problem with your prior work. Just say that you were suprised to see that pic day was coming up so soon and that you had assumed you would be doing them again this year. As far as your dd, I would just say 'Oh, Susie won't be at picture day b/c I will be taking it myself. I'm sure you understand."

 

[dis-happy]

I thought I read this same post a few weeks ago???

 

[happygirl]

That is a lot of assuming you are doing.

You assume everybody loves your pictures.

So, you assume you are automatically getting the job the following year, spending the money before you get the contract.

Now, you are assuming that you are not doing the pictures.

Yet you won't ask anybody for confirmation.

Put your big girl pants on, use those hormones to an advantage and just go to the coach and ask why the change.

Many things could have transpired. Perhaps there was a communication error and he thinks you know all about the April 1 date.

Perhaps some parents complained about their pictures and they have decided to go a different route. Finding this out would help you in your further business as you could correct whatever people have issues with.

Perhaps he did assume you couldn't do it because of bed rest. If he doesn't know what bed rest means, he probably assumed you weren't available. Contacting him and letting him know you are available would be a good thing.

Communication is the key here. Don't just assume and stew. Pick up the phone and find out what is going on.

Oh, and just as a warning. Put your flame suit on.

You NEVER post that you can't afford to buy essentials for your family and then in the same sentence say you are going to Disney.

I agree!! I think you should let your daughter get her pics taken with the team. How would you feel if the other parents said the same thing when you took photos. I can take them myself for cheaper.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

We had a similar situation at our elementary school. One of the parents runs a t-shirt printing business and he always did the t-shirts for school events. One year, we were combined with another school and a parent from the incoming school was in charge of an event. She used the t-shirt printer that she had used before for the other school's events. The first guy came to a PTO meeting and was livid that he didn't get the contract. Those of us on the board explained that the school didn't have an exclusive contract with him. The person running the event can choose who they want to work with. He just assumed he was the t-shirt guy for the school but things had changed and the new event person didn't even know him. It was a difficult experience for eveyone since they guy finally walked out of the meeting in a huff.

 

[surfergirl602]

That is a lot of assuming you are doing.

You assume everybody loves your pictures.

So, you assume you are automatically getting the job the following year, spending the money before you get the contract.

Now, you are assuming that you are not doing the pictures.

Yet you won't ask anybody for confirmation.

Put your big girl pants on, use those hormones to an advantage and just go to the coach and ask why the change.

Many things could have transpired. Perhaps there was a communication error and he thinks you know all about the April 1 date.

Perhaps some parents complained about their pictures and they have decided to go a different route. Finding this out would help you in your further business as you could correct whatever people have issues with.

Perhaps he did assume you couldn't do it because of bed rest. If he doesn't know what bed rest means, he probably assumed you weren't available. Contacting him and letting him know you are available would be a good thing.

Communication is the key here. Don't just assume and stew. Pick up the phone and find out what is going on.

Oh, and just as a warning. Put your flame suit on.

You NEVER post that you can't afford to buy essentials for your family and then in the same sentence say you are going to Disney.

First of all, it was just a vent. I never said that I COULDN'T buy essentials. I stated that it would have helped out a lot!!

it was just a vent...

Geez, whatever happened to allowing people to have a small pity party for themselves and vent, and then move on?

I know the parents like the pictures and the price, because they always ask me when I'm doing them, and I do a lot of small portait sessions for them on the side. Most were pretty shocked when I told them that I wasn't doing the pictures this season.

And if you read that, I CAN'T ask people for confirmation because the army considers it solicitation, and I'm NOT ALLOWED TO ASK.

And yes, I would assume that I would be asked to do them this season, since I've been doing them for every sport, every season, for the past several years. Spring sports, summer sports, fall sports, winter sports. I would see a pattern here.

I'm not one that is confrontational, and I don't get in people's faces about things. That's not me.

So geez, go pick on someone else. This is a no flame post, just a small whine to release some hormones, that's all!!!

 

[LuvOrlando]

Aww, that would hurt my feelings too. But, business is business and just because your friend is the Coach doesn't mean he doesn't have to listen to the other parents on the team. Maybe nothing was said because he wanted to spare your feelings. I don't think I would be confrontational about this because there is a distinct possibility you may not like the real reasons behind the change.

Which is worse, how you feel right now or being told the other parents don't like your work... which is very possible. I suspect other parents complained and you DH's friend is trying to be graceful about it due to your pregnancy and his friendship with your DH. Maybe they really do like your work and some just felt you were getting preferential treatment. No matter what it was the reason behind it must have pretty big to have him switch this around like this.... I wouldn't push back.

I agree with your impulse to let this slide and put up some pamphlets about taking pictures around the base. The ones you like your work will come to find you. I just don't see how the outcome could be improved by speaking up, you still won't have the job and there is a whole lot to lose. Trust your own instincts.Feel better

 

[surfergirl602]

I agree!! I think you should let your daughter get her pics taken with the team. How would you feel if the other parents said the same thing when you took photos. I can take them myself for cheaper.

To clear this up, YES, she will be getting her pictures taken with the team, I just won't be buying them or the individual pictures that whomever takes, as I can take them and print a package myself for cheaper.

And there are people that chose not to get their child's picture taken, and I never had a problem with it. It didn't bother me in the least.

 

[surfergirl602]

Aww, that would hurt my feelings too. But, business is business and just because your friend is the Coach doesn't mean he doesn't have to listen to the other parents on the team. Maybe nothing was said because he wanted to spare your feelings. I don't think I would be confrontational about this because there is a distinct possibility you may not like the real reasons behind the change.

Which is worse, how you feel right now or being told the other parents don't like your work... which is very possible. I suspect other parents complained and you DH's friend is trying to be graceful about it due to your pregnancy and his friendship with your DH. Maybe they really do like your work and some just felt you were getting preferential treatment.

I agree with your impulse to let this slide and put up some pamphlets about taking pictures around the base. The ones you like your work will come to find you. I just don't see how the outcome could be improved by speaking up, you still won't have the job and there is a whole lot to lose. Trust your own instincts.

Exactly, which is why I just wanted to vent about it for a minute, then move on. Ruining a friendship over it isn't worth it, it was just awkward, with so many parents asking me when I was doing pictures and seeming shocked when I replied that I wasn't taking them this year. (I was nice about it, and didn't use "a tone" or anything, just simply replied that I wasn't taking them this season)

 

[lillygator]

since when is the CB a no flame zone?

 

[dis-happy]

Here's my take: if they know you well enough to watch your dogs, they are aware of your modified bed-rest status. Since they are good friends I'd try to look at it in the best light possible: they are concerned for you and didn't want to burden you with the photo sessions. Try to enjoy your pregnancy, take care of yourself, and appreciate the money you are saving by having them dogsit for you.

 

[luvmy3]

First I'd like to say I'm sorry your hormonal

I have to agree with the pp's. You assumed alot and really should have confirmed you'd be taking the pics before you went out and purchased anything. I hope that you wouldn't exclude your dd from the group team pic over this, but I can understand not wanting to pay for someone else to take her individual pic.
Also, I wouldn't assume anything about why you weren't asked, just call the coach and ask if you really want to know. Is it typical for a coach to make the decision on who takes pictures? Maybe he was instructed to find someone else because of budget reason. etc. You'll never know unless you ask and you will do yourself (and your family ) no good stewing over it when you are already hormonal

 

[LuvOrlando]

Venting is fine & it's healthy.

Lately there have been a few incredibly harsh and rude posts floating around like in the old days before the great purge. I wonder if some of them are back?

 

[surfergirl602]

We had a similar situation at our elementary school. One of the parents runs a t-shirt printing business and he always did the t-shirts for school events. One year, we were combined with another school and a parent from the incoming school was in charge of an event. She used the t-shirt printer that she had used before for the other school's events. The first guy came to a PTO meeting and was livid that he didn't get the contract. Those of us on the board explained that the school didn't have an exclusive contract with him. The person running the event can choose who they want to work with. He just assumed he was the t-shirt guy for the school but things had changed and the new event person didn't even know him. It was a difficult experience for eveyone since they guy finally walked out of the meeting in a huff.

I don't have contracts or anything, its simply just cash or check, and I edit, make the picture packages, the player cards, etc. and get them printed by a professional printing company.

But lack of communication does suck sometimes.

 

[surfergirl602]

since when is the CB a no flame zone?

Since I said so.

And you're right, the CB has always been one big battlefield.

maybe I should have posted on the budget board. Hmmm......

 

[DizBelle]

Venting is fine. Whining is fine. Having a pity party is fine. And it would have been nice of the coach to at least let you know why he is not continuing the years long relationship - even though there is no contract. It would be the courteous thing to do. I don't think it is out of line to ask why you were not offered the job of taking the team pictures.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

First of all, it was just a vent. I never said that I COULDN'T but essentials. I stated that it would have helped out a lot!!

it was just a vent... I really don't care what you have to say about it.

Geez, whatever happened to allowing people to have a small pity party for themselves and vent, and then move on?

I know the parents like the pictures and the price, because they always ask me when I'm doing them, and I do a lot of small portait sessions for them on the side. Most were pretty shocked when I told them that I wasn't doing the pictures this season.

And if you read that, I CAN'T ask people for confirmation because the army considers it solicitation, and I'm NOT ALLOWED TO ASK.

And yes, I would assume that I would be asked to do them this season, since I've been doing them for every sport, every season, for the past several years. Spring sports, summer sports, fall sports, winter sports. I would see a pattern here.

I'm not one that is confrontational, and I don't get in people's faces about things. That's not me.

So geez, go pick on someone else. This is a no flame zone, just a small whine to release some hormones, that's all!!!

I am not picking on you. You are having a pity party without contacting the coach to find out what is really happening. You are having a premature pity party. I am just suggesting you actually go find out the details before you assume everything is the worst. You say you don't want to find out because you are afraid he won't take care of your dogs. Well, take that risk and ask. You may be pleasantly surprise. If not, it can't be any worse than what you are assuming happened.

Do you absolutely know for sure somebody else is contracted to do the pictures on April 1?

If not, then yes, you are assuming way too much. You are assuming that somebody else is doing them and may miss out on a job.

Calling the coach and inquiring if you are doing the pictures on April 1 based on past history doesn't seem to be out of line. That is not soliciting, that is clarifying and should be ok based on past history of doing so many teams.

If you do know that somebody else is doing the pictures, calling the coach and asking why they chose to go a different route, not making it confrontational, but wanting to know how to improve your business, is not out of line and just plain good business sense. You are assuming every loved your pictures, your prices were great, etc. But if they did go with somebody else, there was a reason. It is better to know the reason so you can work on it rather than just assume what the reason was. You may not like the answer, but at least you will know the truth. And I have always found that the truth is usually much better than what the mind conjures up.

You say you are there at least 2x per week. If you are such a good friend with coach, you should be able to walk up to him and say "Hey, what's up with the pictures?"

If he is such a good friend, he won't refuse to watch your dogs just because you asked.

It is far better to know the truth than to sit and assume and have to vent on something you are not even completely sure about.

Sorry if it came out harsher than I intended.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm sorry that happened.

You should still bring your dd to team photos. When we did soccer, noone ever had to do individuals--but it would have not been good sportsmanship to not do the team pic just b/c you weren't ordering.

I don't know why they didn't consult you and it is rather unfortunate. In the future, it would be wise to mention it rather than assume it. I would too be disappointed if I did all the prep work and then didn't get notified.

It would probably be better to just let it go and not dwell on it. A business decision was made and lack of communication contributed to your present position.


It sucks to not have the money--but you still get the better deal in the end. A cute little baby.

For this baby--I think I only spent $100 or so at Once Upon a child for clothes.

 

[surfergirl602]

Here's my take: if they know you well enough to watch your dogs, they are aware of your modified bed-rest status. Since they are good friends I'd try to look at it in the best light possible: they are concerned for you and didn't want to burden you with the photo sessions. Try to enjoy your pregnancy, take care of yourself, and appreciate the money you are saving by having them dogsit for you.

See... that's the stance I take, but it kind of just hurt my feelings. having the opportunity to say "yes" or "no"??

I just feel like some people see me as a handicap and not a human being with feelings right now. Hormonal feelings, yes, but I still would have liked to be given the opportunity either way, I guess, and not just overlooked because I having a baby. It just seems discriminatory to me somehow.