just need to whine for a minute about income

[Eeyore'sthebest]

She didn't say her daughter didn't want it. She said she wouldn't buy it because she wasn't taking the pictures. But I'm sure the story will change now.

Really? I took it to mean that the money was tight as they are having another child and it was cheaper for her to do her own photos.
It's really no big deal if she doesn't buy the team photo. How many of those kids do you remember as you get older. Heck, I look at class photos as an adult and can't remember over 50% of the kids.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I have an entire drawer full of my kids team pictures and neither kid has ever cared about them at all. I have all of these photos neatly arranged on my entertainment center and I sincerely doubt it if either of my 2 kids would even notice if I put other kids' faces in the frames , in fact I should try that and see if my $100's of dollars spent were for them at all. Of course not, like all my albums they are for me. The only thing they actually care about is showing up for the picture so they are in it because they like to be included.

OP, have you considered bringing your DD so she could be part of the team picture even if you don't want to buy it? I understand you are upset and that being pregnant and disappointed over this has made everything even worse. For what it's worth, I would feel just like you if it happened to me. But consider the end result of your decision. How old is your DD right now. Then consider how long your DD will have to hang around these other kids. How long will you have to be around these other parents. The way I see it school age is not a time to go around making enemies. Even when upset in some situations it is just best to swallow some pride and put on a brave face. After all, the summer can be VERY LONG if you alienate other parents and your DD doesn't get invited over because they are afraid you'll blow up at them given the chance.

Right now you are pregnant and people will be forgiving, to a point. I wouldn't push it too far though because it sounds to me like you've already bent some parent' ears about this. I am sure everyone already knows your feelings on the issue, things like this are juicy and ripe for bus-stop and over lunch conversations. Disgruntled parent, friends with the coach... uggh, everyone will be watching you. Not showing up would be considered a boycott and a slap in the face by at least a few parents, maybe not your friend and maybe not the coach but you never know. People can be weird. Just my 2 cents, good luck with whatever it s you decide.

 

[kirstenb1]

Wow. It's interesting to me that you didn't say your daughter doesn't want a team picture if you don't take it.

It's not all about you. Buy the team picture.

Our family doesn't always buy the team photo. Sometimes dd wants it, sometimes she doesn't. I just leave it up to her.

 

[jrmasm]

Hey people, you're missing the point. The mother is throwing a tantrum because she's being 'discriminated against.'

She should accept the loss of this job gracefully (at least in public) and buy the darn team picture. Unless she wants to look like a jerk.

 

[disykat]

Having a baby is not a disability and I shouldn't be treated any differently because of it.

Doesn't "modified bed rest" imply you SHOULD be treated differently? If you were employed regularly, wouldn't an employer be required to provide modifications for you?

 

[Marymom]

I just wanted to introduce one scenario that hasn't been covered...maybe the soccer league/association hired one photographer to photo all the teams.

That decision might have been made above the coach's head and is out of his control.

Mary

 

[bumbershoot]

And if you read that, I CAN'T ask people for confirmation because the army considers it solicitation, and I'm NOT ALLOWED TO ASK.


I'm not one that is confrontational, and I don't get in people's faces about things. That's not me.

But you'll let your husband ask, which is about the same thing. Asking IF you are doing them, or asking WHO is doing them, is not saying "CAN I do them."

These aren't confrontations; if you weren't pregnant and having heightened emotions I doubt you would feel that they are confrontational.

DH and I have these sorts of conversations so often. He wants to vent, and I want to solve things. So he ends up sad b/c I didn't "allow" him to just vent, and I end up sad b/c he won't take my suggestions. Oh, and yes, this is opposite most male/female dynamics, LOL.

You are having a premature pity party.

Calling the coach and inquiring if you are doing the pictures on April 1 based on past history doesn't seem to be out of line. That is not soliciting, that is clarifying and should be ok based on past history of doing so many teams.

If you do know that somebody else is doing the pictures, calling the coach and asking why they chose to go a different route, not making it confrontational, but wanting to know how to improve your business, is not out of line and just plain good business sense.

I agree with all of that, and I'm totally using the "premature pity party" line with DH, b/c maybe it will help him see that I'm on his side, not taking the side of others, which is what he always does at first.

The reason I hesitate to just walk up to him and ask, is because I'm not a confrontational person like that.

I'd rather not bring up any issues that might just piss him off.

It's not a confrontational question at all, and if he is THAT "charged" emotionally that this simple question will "piss him off", he needs to not be around children.

Are you 100% that you are not doing it? I understand that you were not asked about the date, but there could be a communication mix up. You need to make sure, that way come April 1 they are not waiting on you to show up.

I had that question too. If I could remember all the things I forgot about when I was pregnant, well, I would remember a heck of a lot more... He might have forgotten to ask, you might have forgotten THAT he asked...this is a necessary question.

Wow. It's interesting to me that you didn't say your daughter doesn't want a team picture if you don't take it.

It's not all about you. Buy the team picture.

I figure she'll be taking pictures while the kids are having pictures taken, so if the kidlet wants a team photo she'll have it. I figure other parents have done the same thing while she has taken the official photos.

OP, have you considered bringing your DD so she could be part of the team picture even if you don't want to buy it?

She's already said that she'll take her daughter to be IN the team photo....



OP, ya gotta ask him. Business reasons if you weren't chosen, knowing if he thought he asked and they are expecting you, etc etc etc. It's not confrontation, seriously. You have to know.

 

[Luvchefmic]

First of all, it was just a vent. I never said that I COULDN'T buy essentials. I stated that it would have helped out a lot!!

it was just a vent...

Geez, whatever happened to allowing people to have a small pity party for themselves and vent, and then move on?

I know the parents like the pictures and the price, because they always ask me when I'm doing them, and I do a lot of small portait sessions for them on the side. Most were pretty shocked when I told them that I wasn't doing the pictures this season.

And if you read that, I CAN'T ask people for confirmation because the army considers it solicitation, and I'm NOT ALLOWED TO ASK.

And yes, I would assume that I would be asked to do them this season, since I've been doing them for every sport, every season, for the past several years. Spring sports, summer sports, fall sports, winter sports. I would see a pattern here.

I'm not one that is confrontational, and I don't get in people's faces about things. That's not me.

So geez, go pick on someone else. This is a no flame post, just a small whine to release some hormones, that's all!!!

No real advice here BUT if I were you I would tell the coach how I feel just to not keep the feelings in.....everybody needs a good vent every now and again, I had quite the "melt down" yesterday myself things always look better after the feelings are let out.

Side note- My DD & DSIL are USMC so thanks Army family

Ruthie

 

[JimmyPicker]

You can get a lot of answers without being confrontational or upsetting anyone.

You: Pictures are on Thursday, right?
Coach: Yup, promptly at 1800 hours.
You: Who's doing them this year?
Coach: (Insert name here)
You: Hmm, never heard of them. You know I'll still be doing my own DD's, right?

Opening up the conversation with the Coach about it may give you a lot of info and insight into what's going on.

And it's easy to do it in a normal way without causing any problems.

 

[krcit]

Hey people, you're missing the point. The mother is throwing a tantrum because she's being 'discriminated against.'

She should accept the loss of this job gracefully (at least in public) and buy the darn team picture. Unless she wants to look like a jerk.

Oh for gosh sakes, she's not 'throwing a tantrum'. She came on a board to vent about her feelings because she doesn't want to cause problems with a friend. I don't get why some posters are all over her she's just letting off a bit of steam-I actually think it's healthy to come on here and vent your frustrations instead of causing a big to do over something minor. She didn't say she was losing sleep over it or never going to talk to the coach again.

I never buy sports pictures any more. My kids don't like them and they cost a fortune. They will show up for the team picture but I don't buy them. I certainly wouldn't buy pics from another photographer if that was my business. Why should OP spend money on something she could do for free?

OP, hope you're feeling better today. I get pregnancy hormones, lol. I'm still embarrassed over the tantrum( and it was a full blown tantrum) I had when they put onions on my pizza 15 years ago when I was pg with my oldest