Just got a call about babysitting an infant...

[Mermaid02]

... Backstory

Had surgery last month and was let go by my employer. I worked for a hospital and word is they are going to be laying folks off in about 2-3 months... I've been trying to think of what I could do to bring in some money for the household.... I had FABULOUS HOURS there and would NEVER find another job like that.... I thought if I took in an infant I could be home for our son (almost 13- but totally unable to stay alone) and make some money.

I just got a call about taking in a baby who was born in October. He is in a daycare until February so that would give me more recuperation time so that is good. However, my dh is totally against this idea, apparently. I will talk to him later after he cools off- he went stomping upstairs like a 2 year old. I just don't get it. I'm talking one infant, not a large daycare that takes over your home.

 

[ilovejack02]

Any idea why he is so upset?

Maybe he feels like you will be spending to much time with baby and neglecting your family?

Not saying that will happen, but you never know what people are thinking .

 

[CathrynRose]

I think it's a great idea.

I used to sit when I was a SAHM, and my now 18 year old was 2-4ish. I loved it.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Try to figure out what specifically about it is worrying him. Is he concerned about liability? Does he think being around a baby all day will cause you to want one of your own? Etc. Maybe once you know WHY he is against it you can alleviate his fears (by talking to your insurance agent, or wahtever it is you need to do). Good luck.

 

[Mermaid02]

Any idea why he is so upset?

Maybe he feels like you will be spending to much time with baby and neglecting your family?

Not saying that will happen, but you never know what people are thinking .

I guess (and it's only a guess) he wants me to go back to "work" ya know, get up and leave the house. I worked part time, Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesday mornings. I would never find a job with those hours again. If you figured in our daycare costs, gas, clothes, lunches out etc. I only made about 125 per week give or take. Plus if you have a daycare (even just one child-not licensed) you can write off your heating for your home, your electricity, your water etc. I think we would make out better in the long run.

 

[BeenHereB4]

I guess (and it's only a guess) he wants me to go back to "work" ya know, get up and leave the house. I worked part time, Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesday mornings.

This is what I was assuming. I have no idea what gets up their butt about people working from home - my DH did the same thing to me when I was strictly working as a legal assistant from home. Jealousy maybe?

 

[Feralpeg]

Check into the thing about writing off your utilities. I could not write off all my utilities even though I ran a business from my home. Since you live in the home, you can only take off a percentage of those costs.

 

[Mermaid02]

Check into the thing about writing off your utilities. I could not write off all my utilities even though I ran a business from my home. Since you live in the home, you can only take off a percentage of those costs.

We would get an accountant.....

 

[ADisneyQueen]

Would you need to get insurance to have that kind of business? It can be pricey.

 

[ilovejack02]

This is what I was assuming. I have no idea what gets up their butt about people working from home - my DH did the same thing to me when I was strictly working as a legal assistant from home. Jealousy maybe?

My husband's best friend just got married and had a child in the last two years. He has been alone for years now , so the last two years has been a BIG adjustment. He and his wife did not live together before marriage... kind of a shot gun thing.

He works shift work which means he is home at least two days a week during day. He is so used to being alone
and his new wife works from home. It is driving him crazy!!! But now that they are 8 months since she started it he is getting used to it.

My hubby just laughs, I am a SAHM and have been for years. My hubby just tells him get used to it .. that is what marriage is all about lol.

I do understand what he is saying though. I would go insane if my hubby was home all the time with me ; ).


I have also talked of keeping a baby to bring in a bit of income, but my DH is also concerned about it. His reason is because of how much time I spend with DS and volunteering at school, which I wouldnt be able to do with a little one . We also enjoy being able to do things as a couple during the week , we go fishing and to the movies etc, while DS7 is in school sometimes. We consider it our date time.

I also have friends whose husbands want their wives to have a "real job" even if they dont need the income.

I am so thankful that my hubby gets why I want to be a sahm and he appreciates all I do , but not everyone thinks the same way.

When he calms down maybe he will tell you what is on his mind.

 

[NAB]

Maybe he doesn't want to baby proof the house, worried you won't have anytime off if need be....

Is his job stable, maybe he wants you to have a full time one just in case?

 

[wdwmom2]

Check into the thing about writing off your utilities. I could not write off all my utilities even though I ran a business from my home. Since you live in the home, you can only take off a percentage of those costs.

I did childcare when my children were little. I do remember that I could only deduct a certain amount of my home expenses. I did keep all my grocery receipts and circled everything I purchased for the little ones in my care. If I remember correctly I did deduct all of that.

Would you need to get insurance to have that kind of business? It can be pricey.

I had a rider on my homeowner's policy. I don't remember exactly how much it cost, but I do remember that it was very reasonable.

 

[FireDancer]

Speculating about why he is upset won't really figure anything out. It would be better to find out the actual concern and figure out a solution. Of course this is easier if one of the parties doesn't just storm off and discusses it like a rational adult but there is nothing you can do about that.

All of the reasons here sound like viable objections (with the possible exception of jealousy) but to get to a solution or a conclusion it would require a logical discussion as opposed to a temper tantrum.

 

[Mermaid02]

For one child we don't need a license or extra insurance. My son's former daycare provider is kind of mentoring me..... LOL

I went up and talked to my dh a bit- it's not enough money. That's it. Period. He can be a bit like his Dad, change is bad. I think he will warm to it after a while. For now, I'm just going to let it ride.

 

[marlynnp]

For one child we don't need a license or extra insurance. My son's former daycare provider is kind of mentoring me..... LOL

I went up and talked to my dh a bit- it's not enough money. That's it. Period. He can be a bit like his Dad, change is bad. I think he will warm to it after a while. For now, I'm just going to let it ride.

What does that mean?
Does it mean your husband thinks it's not happening?
Does it mean the baby's parents think they have a new sitter?

How long are you going to let it ride? I'd be extremely ticked off if I thought I had a new sitter lined up and found out at the last minute that that wasn't the case because she didn't work it out with her family and didn't have the courtesy to let me know right away that there was an issue.

 

[minkydog]

I assume you've already done some kind of spreadsheet comparing your previous salary, taxes,meals,childcare, clothing, et al, with the proposed expenses and income you will receive from babysitting? That was really an eye-opener for my DH. I'm a nurse(worked part time) and my salary, plus night shift brought in a lot of money. However, the extra mileage, uniforms, food, taxes and childcare expenses were enormous too. In the end I think I figured out that we were actually clearing less than $85/week I was performing feats of magic just to get everyone cared for, groceries, education, houswork and basically "making" $85 a week? Guess how long it took my to submit my resignation.

In fact, we found that by my working less it dropped us to a lower tax bracket, decreased our stress level immediately,I cooked better more nutritious meals instead of eating on the fly, and we were still clearing about $80 a week.

I"m not saying quitting a job is for everyone, but sometimes it doesn't have the negative effect we think it will. I think if you like being with infants and have the time to do it well, then perhaps you should consider it. On the other hand, if your husband remains resolutley against this I think you have to listen to him. He may have other feelings that he's not expressing yet. I would not go against something that my husband *really* didn't want me to do.

 

[ilovejack02]

OP I hear you on that . My hubby can be a bit on that side. The answer to everything is always NO!! LOL, I learned early on just to sit back and let him think a few days. When I bring issue back up he usually gets with the program .

 

[MizTink]

Speculating about why he is upset won't really figure anything out. It would be better to find out the actual concern and figure out a solution. Of course this is easier if one of the parties doesn't just storm off and discusses it like a rational adult but there is nothing you can do about that.

All of the reasons here sound like viable objections (with the possible exception of jealousy) but to get to a solution or a conclusion it would require a logical discussion as opposed to a temper tantrum.

what a nice way of saying he needs to grow up!

 

[MizTink]

i watched kids in my home when my kids were little. at 1 time i had 4 boys all the same age as my son (1yr old). it worked out SUPER for us. ds had "friends", i made $500/week, cash, and the kids all went home before dh came home from work.
i really was lucky with the families i had. i tried to get going again a few years ago and it just didn't work out.
good luck. it can be a great way to make some money at home!

 

[kellyg403]

In a way I can understand your dh's hesitation. I babysat for many years when my kids were smaller. Just a couple kids at a time, once they went off to school usually I was done with their family unless there was a school break and I had room. The problem is that you never know what you are getting with some parents. I had one little girls who I watched while my ex was deployed one year while her parents worked the evening shift. I wasn't doing anything anyway so I went ahead and said I would watch her from 3-11. Not only did I rarely get paid but sometimes they didn't show up until 3 in the morning. A few times at 8 a.m. The end was when dad showed up drunk at 3am and I would not let him drive the baby home. I loved that little girl. I would have let her stay for free. She was such a doll. Her parents were young so that was 90% of the problem. So, sometimes you get parents who understand that daycare is just like your other bills and some who think daycare is one of those optional things. It can get stressful with the right people.

That being said...it is a 'real' job..just like any other SAHM job. My dh would prefer I stay home but I like getting a set amount of money on a set payday. So, we are opposite in that fact. I would say to at least try it but if your dh is adamantly opposed it might be hard. Though I have to ask why he would? As long as the money is coming in as promised?

Kelly