Just Call Me "The Incompetent Wife"...

[AKL_Megs]

I would really like to strangle my MIL.

I know I shouldn't take it personal, but I do.

I really can't tolerate how she feels the need to call CONSTANTLY every time something "medical" happens to my husband.

If he is sick, has a cold, a stomach ache, the flu, or in this instance, a corneal abrasion... She just HAS to call and make sure he is receiving the proper "attention" from me, as if I don't know how to do ANYTHING and only SHE does.

I get her concern, but does she have to undermine me?

Just needed to vent.

 

[Jennasis]

Caller ID is your friend.

Or a simple "Thanks for your concern but I've got it under control..woops can't stay on the phone...the cat wants to go out!"

 

[Imzadi]

Is he rich? Will you be coming into a sizable inheritance if he kicks off? Maybe you can tell your MIL that you are hoping to become a rich widow, and to please stop interfering.

 

[DawnCt1]

I would really like to strangle my MIL.

I know I shouldn't take it personal, but I do.

I really can't tolerate how she feels the need to call CONSTANTLY every time something "medical" happens to my husband.

If he is sick, has a cold, a stomach ache, the flu, or in this instance, a corneal abrasion... She just HAS to call and make sure he is receiving the proper "attention" from me, as if I don't know how to do ANYTHING and only SHE does.

I get her concern, but does she have to undermine me?

Just needed to vent.

When we first got married, my MIL asked me if I cooked vegetables!! That was probably the nicest thing she has said to me. Last week she called and TOLD me that she was driving to my house in her car, I was taking her for her colonoscopy and when she called, I was picking her up and she would drive home. I told her the following;
1. I will pick you up at your place, you won't be able to drive that day.
2. Your DD or your other DIL will have to pick you up, I have plans.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Caller ID is your friend.

Or a simple "Thanks for your concern but I've got it under control..woops can't stay on the phone...the cat wants to go out!"

Yeah. She calls HIM. He knows better than to answer, but then she starts attacking his Facebook or keeps calling! Insane.

Is he rich? Will you be coming into a sizable inheritance if he kicks off? Maybe you can tell your MIL that you are hoping to become a rich widow, and to please stop interfering.

I love it!

 

[Jennasis]

Yeah. She calls HIM. He knows better than to answer, but then she starts attacking his Facebook or keeps calling! Insane.

I love it!

How does she KNOW when he's sick? Got to play that info closer to the vest from now on I think..

 

[design_mom]

LOL! I feel your pain on this one (and my MIL, in general, is pretty good as MILs go.)

Whenever DH is sick -- even with the sniffles, she calls and offers advice: "You need to rest. You should go to bed. That will be the best thing for you. Don't try to do too much till you feel better." And, of course, like a good son, he listens to her!

If he was *really* sick, I'd be more understanding, but if it's the sniffles... c'mon... life goes on. Things still need to be done!

 

[MerMom60_94]

Well, Megs, this could lead to a whole new DisBoards debate. Are you an incompetent wife for not being able to take care of him or is she an incompetent mother for not teaching him how to take care of himself??

 

[AKL_Megs]

When we first got married, my MIL asked me if I cooked vegetables!! That was probably the nicest thing she has said to me. Last week she called and TOLD me that she was driving to my house in her car, I was taking her for her colonoscopy and when she called, I was picking her up and she would drive home. I told her the following;
1. I will pick you up at your place, you won't be able to drive that day.
2. Your DD or your other DIL will have to pick you up, I have plans.

Mine asked me once if I knew how to boil water!

If it is this bad now, I can't imagine I would know how to care for my own offspring! Can't wait for those calls...

 

[AKL_Megs]

Well, Megs, this could lead to a whole new DisBoards debate. Are you an incompetent wife for not being able to take care of him or is she an incompetent mother for not teaching him how to take care of himself??

Oh boy!

 

[Tink888]

Just be glad she doesn't show up at your doorstep for a week long visit to play nurse.

I'm sure it's frustrating but try and cut her some slack. She's just worried about her son. Moms of boys spend their lives taking care of their sons and then turn them over to their wives when they marry. Probably not always an easy thing to do.

 

[cm8]

Is he rich? Will you be coming into a sizable inheritance if he kicks off? Maybe you can tell your MIL that you are hoping to become a rich widow, and to please stop interfering.

can we say DIVORCE, if she even attempted to joke with her MIL like that, she would likely be headed for a divorce or under severe scrutiny of her local police department, God forbid something actually does happen to him then she is screwed.. SN I know you were just joking right

 

[cabanafrau]

can we say DIVORCE, if she even attempted to joke with her MIL like that, she would likely be headed for a divorce or under severe scrutiny of her local police department, God forbid something actually does happen to him then she is screwed.. SN I know you were just joking right

It's a good thing I've only been heard to comment how I plan to mourn in Tahiti. Nobody could ever use that as a statement of intent, could they?

 

[Nancyg56]

I'm sure it's frustrating but try and cut her some slack. She's just worried about her son. Moms of boys spend their lives taking care of their sons and then turn them over to their wives when they marry. Probably not always an easy thing to do.

Is is not easy to turn your children over to anyone so I did not. I think that there should be no territorial dispute between a mother and her DDIL so when I call to express concern I make sure that I am not choosing words that make my DDIL feel as though I don't think she can care for my son. I don't blame the OP for being offended if her MIL is talking to her like that. There is a difference between worrying about your adult child's health and acting as though he cannto survive unless you have dictated the treatment methods.

It is funny, my oldest son is seeing a lovly woman right now and they have been coming by often. He said that they wer having a conversation and somehow the term "Momma's Boy" came up and he said "You cannot be serious?" She laughed but he said he told her that she should not confuse a man who loves and respects his mother with a man who is a "Momma's Boy". I think that she is going to be a lucky woman, my sons both cook, clean, shop and do laundry. My younger son's DW told me that she thanks me silently every morning when she gets up and her laundry is washed, dried, folded and put away. The kitchen spotless and her canned goods rotated

 

[mhsjax]

LOL! I feel your pain on this one (and my MIL, in general, is pretty good as MILs go.)

Whenever DH is sick -- even with the sniffles, she calls and offers advice: "You need to rest. You should go to bed. That will be the best thing for you. Don't try to do too much till you feel better." And, of course, like a good son, he listens to her!

If he was *really* sick, I'd be more understanding, but if it's the sniffles... c'mon... life goes on. Things still need to be done!

And I bet when you are sick, you don't get the same treatment from her do you, you just need to tuff it out and get on with it. Man I hope I am nice MIL.

 

[mhsjax]

Mine asked me once if I knew how to boil water!

If it is this bad now, I can't imagine I would know how to care for my own offspring! Can't wait for those calls...

I can tell you right now, you don't let that get started at all at any costs.

 

[scbelleatheart]

What's up with the bashing of MIL's. Mine is a gem. Sure she has her things she loves to bring up but overall the woman is wonderful. I love my MIL!! Someday you may be one and I hope you are blessed with great DIL's.
And yeah, I have a husband who will always take care of his Mom.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

It will never stop.

My mother, who is 96 and lives in New York, checks up on results of my last doctor visits and makes suggestions/concerns for my health every time we talk on the phone. I am still her "little boy".

And when Judy was hospitalized a couple of times in 2004 she flew down twice for a total of about five weeks to be with us.

 

[DMRick]

My thirty something will always be my little boy, and I'll always worry when he's ill. His wife is wonderful and takes great care of him. I hope she doesn't see it as interferring when I call to inquire how he's doing, and make suggestions. Her mom also calls to see how my son is (they live overseas) and she would be likely to bring him some chicken soup.
Heck, not only did my MIL call when my husband was ill, but so did my mom, who thought of him as a son. When I was sick? Not so much LOL.

 

[RitaE]

I dunno. I'm always up for a good In-Law rant but this one is kind of funny since you made a post here yesterday asking for suggestions.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2584812


Maybe we can just get your MIL a DIS Log-in and she can join in that way.