Just Back - My Dh Was A Bump On A Log!!!

[Harvest02]

OK, I am a HUGE Disney fan, always have been. We have two DS, 10 and 7. I told my DH hundreds of times before we left that he didn't have to go with us. I would take the kids by myself, I didn't mind. Well, he went with us. I got mad at him several times because he just griped and moaned the entire time! He did enjoy the first few days, but was ready to come home after only 4 days! My DS10 was kind of the same way. On the other hand, my DS7 was so into everything at Disney! The two of us even went to the MK for a morning alone and left everyone else at the room!!! My DH did not even join me and my boys for Chef Mickey's. Says he wasn't hungry so why waste the money on paying for him(I can see his point on that, but he could have at least come along to sit with us!!! ). My DS7 and I were upset with my DH, so my DS7 says "Next time, can grandma and grandpa come with us?". I thought, "Not a bad idea". I saw so many mothers with just their kids. I think that is what we will do next time since my DH is such a grump!!! Does anyone else have this problem? I feel like a kid again when I am there, but all my DH thinks about is work and how he wants to go home! So frustrating!!!!

 

[DVCLiz]

I am always sad when I read these kinds of posts. Your DH sounds like a great big spoiled brat. I don't understand why a dad would make his family put up with that kind of behavior on a vacation that was supposed to be fun. Even if it wasn't his "thing", it's his thing to be a good dad and husband, and he should have sucked it up and made the effort for the sake of his family.

I'd sure go back again, at least with SD7, and have fun with the grandparents. And I'd leave big bad sport at home...

 

[Frankiesmom]

I am so sad for you! Such a shame that your vacation had a downside. I wish I could offer you some advice;but my DH loves WDW and everything Disney as much as myself and the kids. He does complain a little about the cost though! Next time take the kids and leave him @ home! I hope your next trip is happier for you!

 

[mommyofthreeboys]

My DH was like that BEFORE we arrived BUT once he was there, we was fine and had a great time. He can't wait to go back.

That stinks that he ruined your good time. Maybe there was underlying problem that was bothering him. I don't need to know--but are you having money problems? Maybe he seen how much money was being spent and he didn't agree with it???? That's why he didn't go out to eat??? I don't know but for someone not to enjoy Disney, there has to be something else going on....

 

[Darcy03231]

This is why I always go without DH. He went once and never will go again. He absolutely hated it. He did try to put on a good front for the kids while he was there. Kids and I have been back for several more trips but DH either stays home or plans a fishing trip with his buddies (not my idea of a good time either).

 

[maxtomsmom]

Such a shame Maybe next time, have your DH help with some of the planning. He can do other things with your older son like golf, fishing or just stay for two or three days and have a separate vacation with your older son. This way he is there for some of it and will have something to look forward to later in the trip. You can meet back before heading back. If you do this, I would recommend staying off site to offset the cost of 2 hotels and possibly rent a car.

My DH loves Disney, but not the cost. However when we're there he seems to forget all about our budget.

 

[Harvest02]

My DH was like that BEFORE we arrived BUT once he was there, we was fine and had a great time. He can't wait to go back.

That stinks that he ruined your good time. Maybe there was underlying problem that was bothering him. I don't need to know--but are you having money problems? Maybe he seen how much money was being spent and he didn't agree with it???? That's why he didn't go out to eat??? I don't know but for someone not to enjoy Disney, there has to be something else going on....

No, money was not the issue. I substitute teach and I saved most of that money for our trip. All of it was paid for from our vacation account(and we still have quite a bit of money left!). My DH just is one of those people that can't relax, and he doesn't like to travel at all. His parents never took him anywhere when he was a kid(for long vacations). My parents, on the other hand, took us to Disney MANY times, Yellowstone, Smoky Mountains, etc. I have always enjoyed traveling, I just wish he did but I don't think that is going to change.

 

[december]

That is why I leave dh at home! He did travel as a child, and didn't like it. I never did, and I've begged him for years to go to WDW. Last year, I just went. I took dd6, ds9 and mil. This year, it is just me and the kids. It is cheaper for 3 than for 4, and he would just whine the whole time! This way, he can hunt all week without worrying about anything, and we can have a good time too. I'm already planning a trip next year with my sister and nephew, and then my kids want to do a cruise (no interest in any of this from my dh). And yes he is a big spoiled baby, but I still love him!

****and yes, I pay for all of this with my salary. And I would have paid for his portion, but he still isn't interested.

 

[LadyShea]

I would thank him for giving it a shot by going at all, but let him know you would rather not travel with him anymore in the future or for him to do something else while in FL.

Many couples/families do separate vacations or separate some (or a lot) while on vacation for this reason....not because they don't love each other or want to spend time together, but that their interest and enjoyment in various activities is too disparate. No reason for some to miss out on something they really like or to force others to do something they really dislike...ya know? My husband went golfing on our "day off" from the parks last month at WDW while I went shopping with DS. I don't like to golf, he doesn't like to shop so there we are.

Hopefully there is something else you all enjoy doing as a family that you can alternate with separate activities or even separate vacations. A compromise might make everyone feel better about the whole thing.

 

[Tootles]

Maybe there was underlying problem that was bothering him. I don't need to know--but are you having money problems? Maybe he seen how much money was being spent and he didn't agree with it???? That's why he didn't go out to eat??? I don't know but for someone not to enjoy Disney, there has to be something else going on....

This is my problem. My DH is being a stick in the mud about OUR trip. We cancelled in back in May (3 days before we were supposed to leave) because the "timing" wasn't right for DH. Meanwhile he cancelled the reservation, got the money back, less the $200 fee. I turned around a day or two later and booked this coming trip with money I came into. I have saved up for all our gas, hotels on the road, meals, spending money...everything! He still is grumping over this trip and "depressed" because he thinks the money SHOULD be spent on bills, the house repairs etc. This is money we didn't count on and a one-time opportunity for our DS8 and DS6 to go to WDW. I am so afraid of having him "ruin" MY good time complaining about the cost of everything! I have sacrificed a lot for the past 2 years to save this money and have MY dream come true. My DH is so grumpy lately and distant...My wonderful Disney Dream vacation may just be a BUST!

 

[december]

My DH was like that BEFORE we arrived BUT once he was there, we was fine and had a great time. He can't wait to go back.

That stinks that he ruined your good time. Maybe there was underlying problem that was bothering him. I don't need to know--but are you having money problems? Maybe he seen how much money was being spent and he didn't agree with it???? That's why he didn't go out to eat??? I don't know but for someone not to enjoy Disney, there has to be something else going on....

Is it that hard to believe that some people don't like Disney? Dh doesn't, and my parents wouldn't have taken us if we'd been millionaires! They don't vacation! I'm sure there are other people in the world like that, too.

 

[LadyShea]

This is my problem. My DH is being a stick in the mud about OUR trip. We cancelled in back in May (3 days before we were supposed to leave) because the "timing" wasn't right for DH. Meanwhile he cancelled the reservation, got the money back, less the $200 fee. I turned around a day or two later and booked this coming trip with money I came into. I have saved up for all our gas, hotels on the road, meals, spending money...everything! He still is grumping over this trip and "depressed" because he thinks the money SHOULD be spent on bills, the house repairs etc. This is money we didn't count on and a one-time opportunity for our DS8 and DS6 to go to WDW. I am so afraid of having him "ruin" MY good time complaining about the cost of everything! I have sacrificed a lot for the past 2 years to save this money and have MY dream come true. My DH is so grumpy lately and distant...My wonderful Disney Dream vacation may just be a BUST!

Sorry about that. Does he know how important this is to you, that's it truly one of your dreams? Perhaps you need to have a heart to heart with him, and even let him know he doesn't have to come with you if he is going to make things miserable.

 

[Darcy03231]

This is my problem. My DH is being a stick in the mud about OUR trip. We cancelled in back in May (3 days before we were supposed to leave) because the "timing" wasn't right for DH. Meanwhile he cancelled the reservation, got the money back, less the $200 fee. I turned around a day or two later and booked this coming trip with money I came into. I have saved up for all our gas, hotels on the road, meals, spending money...everything! He still is grumping over this trip and "depressed" because he thinks the money SHOULD be spent on bills, the house repairs etc. This is money we didn't count on and a one-time opportunity for our DS8 and DS6 to go to WDW. I am so afraid of having him "ruin" MY good time complaining about the cost of everything! I have sacrificed a lot for the past 2 years to save this money and have MY dream come true. My DH is so grumpy lately and distant...My wonderful Disney Dream vacation may just be a BUST!

If you know he's not going to enjoy it why not go without him? If you force him to go when he doesn't want to, it may very well ruin your trip. Not everyone loves (or even likes) WDW. You and your children will have a great time on your own since you won't be worrying about him. Give him the portion of the money you would have spent on his trip to do with as he wants.

 

[wld4mky]

Wow, I thought my husband was bad, but he is fine once we get there.
Not a fanatic like myself but dos not want to miss the fun either!!

 

[tjmw2727]

My DH dosen't love disney and he dosen't get as much vacation time as we do so we compromise - both ways!! The girls and I do a solo trip for a long weekend, usually in the fall, a WDW vacation during spring break and then we do our "real" family vacation during summer break to a place of DH's choice.

He really just dosen't like crowds and has to eat out often for his job so a week of restaurants and parks isn't his thing either. He would rather camp, get a place at the beach etc. he's the type of person who likes to "Do" things, rather than be entertained. So he will play frisbee, catch etc with the girls all day, take them bike riding, hiking, swimming. I am the one who takes them to museums, plays and luckily for me WDW

As a compromise he will join us for a WDW vacation and spend several days with us and then head home while we finish out our week, it's the best of both worlds. We often include a day at Kennedy which he loves or send him for a morning of golf, a Petty ride along or a Harley rental and then we all do an evening at Epcot, DTD or Fantasmic.

OP sorry things didn't work out as ideally as you would like, more reason to plan for next time right?

TJ

 

[kpm76]

Is it that hard to believe that some people don't like Disney? Dh doesn't, and my parents wouldn't have taken us if we'd been millionaires! They don't vacation! I'm sure there are other people in the world like that, too.

Yeah, I totally agree. DH and I are die hard Disney fans but my in laws on the other hand not so much. I suspect that once our DD is a bit older they will enjoy going with her but it certainly is not their first choice for a vacation....they prefer to sail. Not everyone loves WDW.

 

[lam712]

My DH is a stick in the mud with many activities, too. Our last trip to Disney he had a good time, but since he is used to going to bed early he started getting grumpy by 7 pm. My teenagers and I wanted to stay out late. We suggested he return to the room via the fabulous Disney transportation and we were all happy. His family never went on any trips or celebrated birthdays or holidays like my family did, so he doesn't see the need for all the fuss. He would be perfectly content to sit on the sofa 365 days per year.
I learned long ago to do what I want to do and let him stay home if he is not interested. He is already trying to back out of a college football game that we have tickets to Saturday. I'm not the football fan. In this case he will probably be fine after we get there. He is not sure he wants to go to Disney next year with our family. I told him I'll call him every day , if I remember...........

 

[jodifla]

OK, I am a HUGE Disney fan, always have been. We have two DS, 10 and 7. I told my DH hundreds of times before we left that he didn't have to go with us. I would take the kids by myself, I didn't mind. Well, he went with us. I got mad at him several times because he just griped and moaned the entire time! He did enjoy the first few days, but was ready to come home after only 4 days! My DS10 was kind of the same way. On the other hand, my DS7 was so into everything at Disney! The two of us even went to the MK for a morning alone and left everyone else at the room!!! My DH did not even join me and my boys for Chef Mickey's. Says he wasn't hungry so why waste the money on paying for him(I can see his point on that, but he could have at least come along to sit with us!!! ). My DS7 and I were upset with my DH, so my DS7 says "Next time, can grandma and grandpa come with us?". I thought, "Not a bad idea". I saw so many mothers with just their kids. I think that is what we will do next time since my DH is such a grump!!! Does anyone else have this problem? I feel like a kid again when I am there, but all my DH thinks about is work and how he wants to go home! So frustrating!!!!

Do you remember that movie Diner, where the girl had to pass the sports test before her DF would marry her?

I basically had that with DH, only the test he had to pass was to like Disney. He made some crack about it before he ever went, when we had just started dating. I was giving him a chance to go and see the light. Luckily he did, and we've even been DVC owners the last 11 years.

But seriously, part of being married is learning to like what the other spouse does. My DH has had to learn to like WDW, college football and foreign travel. I've learned to like folk music, fishing and baseball.

Sorry he was so uncooperative!

 

[Tootles]

Sorry about that. Does he know how important this is to you, that's it truly one of your dreams? Perhaps you need to have a heart to heart with him, and even let him know he doesn't have to come with you if he is going to make things miserable.

If you know he's not going to enjoy it why not go without him? If you force him to go when he doesn't want to, it may very well ruin your trip. Not everyone loves (or even likes) WDW. You and your children will have a great time on your own since you won't be worrying about him. Give him the portion of the money you would have spent on his trip to do with as he wants.

Well, DH and I had that heart-to-heart talk and he says that he really will try to forget about the cost and he says he's sure he will enjoy himself while he's there. He told me even though he would love to someday take the kids to WDW, that he felt this money would be better spent elsewhere. He knows this is important to all of us and he has put me in charge of all the expenses for the trip (gas, hotels, souveniers, food) so what he doesn't know, won't bother him quite so much. He still doesn't talk about our upcoming trip (lack of enthusiasm) but he insists when he gets away from his troubles for a while, he will have a good time. Our last trip, was our honeymoon (HIS choice BTW!) 12 years ago. He wants to be there and see the kids excitment and be a part of that memory. The boys really want him there too. So, wish me luck-I really need to have some patience for DH and try to understand that this he is doing this FOR me. And maybe send a little pixie dust this way! My DH needs a few bucket fulls before our trip I think!

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Well, DH and I had that heart-to-heart talk and he says that he really will try to forget about the cost and he says he's sure he will enjoy himself while he's there. He told me even though he would love to someday take the kids to WDW, that he felt this money would be better spent elsewhere. He knows this is important to all of us and he has put me in charge of all the expenses for the trip (gas, hotels, souveniers, food) so what he doesn't know, won't bother him quite so much. He still doesn't talk about our upcoming trip (lack of enthusiasm) but he insists when he gets away from his troubles for a while, he will have a good time. Our last trip, was our honeymoon (HIS choice BTW!) 12 years ago. He wants to be there and see the kids excitment and be a part of that memory. The boys really want him there too. So, wish me luck-I really need to have some patience for DH and try to understand that this he is doing this FOR me. And maybe send a little pixie dust this way! My DH needs a few bucket fulls before our trip I think!

I must be a terrible wife. My DH has no idea how much our trip costs. I knew if I told him hewould not want to go. He would know that the money could & should be used elsewhere. Before you give me a lecture I earned the money with extras that I would not hae done if a trip wasn't planned. I didn't charge it either. But I know that if my DH knew how much this trip costs he wouldn't go either.