Just A Vent About My Sister/Roomate And Sharing Expenses

[summerrluvv]

My sister has lived with me for almost 2 years. I've lived here for four, but when STBX moved out, she decided she wanted to move to NY. She pays $600 for rent and has full use of everything in our apartment as well as food (she is picky so doesn't eat very much that here). Our total rent is $1745 a month and the utilities are roughly $400 a month. So I pay $1145 for the rent and all the utilities. Well, it's becoming hard. DS is in school now and there is always something extra that costs money and the job I have now doesn't pay nearly as much as the one I had when she first moved in. At one point she did pay $700 a month, but I told her to forget it, just pay $600 since she was struggling at one point (she has a higher paying job now) and I didn't really need the extra.

Well today, I emailed her (she is moody so it's hard to talk to her). I let her know that I can't really afford to pay all the utilities anymore in addition to the $1145 for rent and asked if she could chip in another $100 a month it would be helpful or we might have to look for a cheaper place. Well of course she gets defensive, says I was being a snob about it and how she has a high car payment, yadda yadda yadda. Then says she will just move back to MI because it's too expensive here. I mean seriously, what does she expect? We live in a high cost of living area and there is no way she would find a place that included everything for less than $900 a month and it wouldn't be nearly as nice as where we live. I think she has no concept on how much things cost though. Her boyfriend sometimes stays over, (quite a bit lately actually) and he takes showers and that's hot water, which costs money. She puts her clothes in the dryer to dewrinkle them using more gas, rather than ironing them. Our gas bill this month was almost $200. I really don't think I'm being unreasonable asking $100 more a month, but eh...she will do what she has to do.

So now DS and I will have to move to a cheaper place, which is fine, because I know I can find something cheaper than the $1545 a month I'm paying now with the utilities and most places around here include heat, and sure it won't be as nice, but hey...that might free up more money for Disney Trips

 

[rocketriter]

Sorry to hear about this. But I'm glad you aren't letting your DS guilt-trip you into carrying her and her boyfriend forever.

 

[LIFERBABE]

Hi Summer,
I like to say, no one can spend your money better than friends and family. They look at what you do for your children and think you can afford to treat them the same way.

You would think she would offer to carry more of the bills now that she is making more money, but it rarely goes that way. And she would most likely rather pay $900 a month than give you an extra $100 because she thinks you can afford it and her presence there is favor enough. Rarely do 2 people see eye to eye when it comes to finances. Married people don't so It's best to keep friends family and finances separate.

I just got off the phone with my girlfriend whose husband financed a car for his brother who had credit problems before they were married. Now the brother and his wife are purchasing a home and new furniture etc. She thinks they should focus on getting the car out of her Dh's name (and now hers) if they can afford all of that. Most likely that will not happen as they dont see it that way, so she just has to stay on top of it until it is paid off and their credit is clear.

 

[KNWVIKING]

***"I just got off the phone with my girlfriend whose husband ........ "****

Is it just me, or does that sentence seem a little odd ;-)

Back to the OT: Since I doubt her paying an extra $100.00 a month would really change your life dramatically my opinion is to go ahead and find a cheaper place for you & DS.

Edited to add: Ok....I just realized Liferbabe made the quoted statement. Doesn't seem so odd now, ( kinky maybe, odd no ).

 

[WithDisneySpirit]

No, KNWVIKING, I don't find it odd at all That is because girls/women are allowed to have girlfriends all through their lives. Guys are allowed to have "buddies"

summerrluvv, you are probably overdue in asking sis for more and to pay her fair share. You might be happier living on your own with DS! I know I would be!

HTH,
Lisa

 

[dianeschlicht]

It sounds to me like you need to move anyway. People who like to mooch off friends and family are takers, and will drain you dry if you give them a chance. Perhaps it's best if she moves away anyway.

 

[dianeschlicht]

BTW, just wanted to add I think that picture of your DS is precious!