Just a reminder about invisible disabilities

[luvwinnie]

Just because someone LOOKS healthy, doesn't mean they are. I just like to make people aware of this from time to time. My friend who has asthma, fibromyalgia, Hashimoto's thyroid disease and a heart problem was on line for her flu show and an elderly women looked at her then whispered something to her friend. Her friend had the sense to say "She could be sick. You don't know. Just because she's young doesn't mean she's healthy."

 

[Pooh67_68]

Originally posted by luvwinnie
Just because someone LOOKS healthy, doesn't mean they are. B]

Very true.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Very true.

 

[BabyTigger99]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I remember this every time that I park my car in a handicapped spot (which I only do when my leg is really, REALLY hurting). I have always wanted to tell someone giving me "the look" that I would GLADLY park in their spot, if they would deal with my cancer.

 

[phorsenuf]

Yep! I hate the looks I get when I park in a handicap spot or ride a scooter around Disney. I am very healthy looking on the outside, but a mess on the inside!
Because of my back and fibromyalgia I have a hard time walking distances.
I may feel good as I walk into the store, but after pushing a grocery cart around and doing the shopping I use the cart for support on the way out!

 

[minniepumpernickel]

My mom has a couple of syndromes that aren't visible. Diabetes, Minnaires disease (sp), and asthma. She really needs to get her flu shot.

 

[Shugardrawers]

Oh yeah! While recovering from chemotherapy I often rode in wheelchair. I looked pretty healthy since I'd had a course of chemo that was pretty easy on my body compared to most and I didn't lose too much hair. I got so tired of those "looks". I even had a porter at the Atlanta airport who was taking me from one concourse to another in my wheelchair ask me why I couldn't just walk! None of your beeswax buddy! But I politely told him why and he shut up.

 

[minniecarousel]

My youngest brother had a head injury many years ago & looks fine. He is disabled. He gets "the look" using the disabled pass on public transportation.

 

[CourtasanSatine]

My DBF has asthma and gets the looks every year at flu shot time,he's healthy but tells people he also works in health care

 

[LittleMermaidsMom]

My cousin got the same looks and even a rude comment from one woman last year at Universal... she's only 20 and was using an ECV... she has severe back problems and metal rods in her spine. You'd never know by looking at her, but she has trouble walking long distances.

I think some people are just ignorant.

 

[missypie]

There are a couple of ladies in our office who are being treated for cancer, including having chemo, who manage to look great. I wonder if they would get more support if they looked terrible.

Years ago I read an interview with Ricky Nelson's daughter (who starred in some TV show). She was treated for cancer in her late teens or early 20s. She said she refused to wear a wig or hat and refused to wear make up to perk up her very sallow complexion. Her thought was that she wanted everyone to know that cancer is terrible and how bad she felt. That attitude, of course, is not for everyone, but it did make sense.

 

[MickeysMommy]

My mother had back surgery in 2000 and is filled with arthritis plus stinosis (sp?) scoliosis (sp?) and has sciatica. She is also getting a knee replacement next Thursday - while parking in a handicapped spot in the grocery store parking lot (with her handicap permit) a couple stared at her and then started whispering. Now, mind you, my mother right now walks like she might fall over at any moment but she walked right over to them in the store and proceeded to tell the man off. She was so shaken up by it. I told her "You go Mom".

Besides her, my dad has a form of cancer that has caused his back to completely fracture. He has lost about 6 inches in height but walks like nobodies business. However, he has congestive heart failure and gets very winded when going long paces. I have worried about this for when we go to Disney (Hopefully next year). We will be renting him a wheelchair and I don't want anyone to get mad when they see him get up out of it and walk normally

What to do...what to do.

 

[cats7494]

Very true indeed.
It is sad that so many are judgemental.

 

[bubba's mom]

Originally posted by MickeysMommy
Now, mind you, my mother right now walks like she might fall over at any moment but she walked right over to them in the store and proceeded to tell the man off. She was so shaken up by it. I told her "You go Mom".

Good for her!! I wish more disabled people would speak up and defend themselves against the "gwakers". Whenever my DS asks about a healthy looking person in a wheelchair or handicapped spot, I always take the couple of minutes to explain to him that just because a person looks fine on the outside, they can actually be very sick on the inside. He seems to understand that and doesn't make a big deal out of it to the person (like staring). Anyway, tell your Mom, I said good for her!!!

 

[diznygirl]

Here's a story that will make you think twice about older kids with pacifiers.

My best frriend's son has a digestive problem - he's had a bunch of surgeries to deal with it and is just about okay (not cured - just okay). But he would suck a pacifier after eating to help prevent reflux. His mom tried not doing it in public cuz she'd get the stares, but sometimes it couldn't be avoided. He's eight years old.

He's also very small for his age, but very active - smart as can be and a darn good baseball player! It's amazing how much kids can do even with a disability.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I agree that people shouldn't judge others. many handicaps are invisible. I do wonder about some people who park in handicapped spots, but I would never point, stare, give a dirty look to, or make a comment. I feel lucky that I don't need the special parking spot!

T&B

 

[julia & nicks mom]

It amazes me how insensitive people can be:

My DD3 has a speech delay and talks below the level of a two year old - she is very outgoing but just can't get all her words out properly - I can't believe how many people ask "What's wrong with her - why can't she talk?" Sometimes I just want to say - "I am not sure since an idiot like you seems to have no problem!"

 

[Tiggernut_jadie]

I agree totally with the OP! Another BIG issue is disabled toilets...My sister has had Crohn's disease since the age of 19 (she's now 45) and had an ileostomy at the age of 32 - meaning she now has a bag that needs emptying frequently. In order to prevent soreness and possible infection, she needs to have a sink nearby when she empties her bag. Hence she needs to use the disabled toilet!

So here you have a perfectly healthy looking 45 year old woman using a disabled toilet................you won't BELIEVE some of the comments she's had. Over here in the UK we have a system whereby many public disabled toilets are locked but you can apply to have a special key (it's called RADAR!). My sister was granted one of these keys but one day when she was using it a woman with a walking stick acused her of 'stealing' the key from a 'real' disabled person! My sister was very patient but this woman started shouting and cursing at my sister and asking her friend to go an call the securtiy guard of the shopping mall. At this point my sis had had enough.......................she lifted her blouse, showing the woman her 'bag' and saidVERY politely "Not ALL disabilities are about not being able to walk!!!!!" And walked off! My neice (who was 13) and myself just started clapping and when we turned round there were about half a dozen more people joining in!!!!

I was VERY proud of my big sis that day!!!!!!!